In Other, Utterly Stupid News, Sorority Girl With Amazing Skills in Creative Profanity Resigns Due to Media Hoopla

We thought about fisking her angry email that her sisters weren’t putting out enough for the Sigma Nus. Not because we really care what they’re doing but because we like fisking idiots. Anti-Idiotarian and all that. Then we thought about posting about it because the girl truly does have an amazing way with words. Specifically words of the “creative cussing” variety, something that His Imperial Majesty has a soft spot the size of a football field for. You can read the whole outrageously outrageous email here, and you should because it truly is a thing of beauty, even if you care as little about the subject matter that got her fired up as we do. “Cunt punt” is one of our favorites now and will immediately go into the Encyclopedia Imperia. Not bad for a sorority chick. We salute you 🙂

And then we promptly forgot.

But the rest of the world didn’t. Hoo boy did the media go apeshit over this silly teenager’s profanity-laden email to the point where she apparently felt it necessary, or more likely somebody else felt it necessary, for her to resign from the sorority.

And so the story is now about how she has irrevocably “branded”, “stigmatized” and “tattooed” herself for life because The Internet Is Forever and all that.

“The Internet is forever,” Fertik added. “Unfortunately for her, her ‘online tattoo’ will stick with her for a long, long time—and it will likely color how peers, future employers, grad school admissions officers, etc., regard her as a person. She’s going to have to work very hard to show that she’s taken this experience and used it to grow into a more mature, thoughtful, tolerant and compassionate person.”

Oh give us a fucking break, you pointy-headed “deep thinker” taking yourself entirely too seriously.

She’s a teen (we presume, and if not then only barely out of her teen years) girl awash in confusing hormonal impulses trying to figure out What’s Important In Life™ and What The Meaning Of It All Is™ (42, dear, there’s your answer) who got really, really passionate about what she thought was important right now and wrote an email that is as funny as it is impressive in its complete rejection of decorum, sticking to expletives that actually exist and, well, grammar.

She’ll grow out of it and, in the meantime, she will have at least proven that she has a creative bone in her body. Several, we’d say.

Anybody who would hold that email against her or suggest that it encompasses anything that she’s actually all about in, say, 10 years is the one who has a problem. Not her.

And His Imperial Majesty says this as a stodgy, wet blanket, rigidly socially conservative bore who, by the definition of the left, has no sense of humor whatsoever.

Heck, girl. You polish your writing off a bit, and really only a bit, and you can come write for us if you’re interested. The pay and benefits are great. Or so we say. Enjoy being young and full of spunk. You only get to do so once, so make the most of it. “Growing up” comes later, if at all. No hurry.

(Thanks to LC and IB Ace who, as he is wont to do, has a lot more to say about it).

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Lady HLC LOBOLC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck TechLC SecondMouseTango9 Recent comment authors
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LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

Here’s the full email (with the author’s name changed): If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you’re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride. For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have… Read more »

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

oh yeah, FOIST!

LC TerribleTroy
LC TerribleTroy

Alright, Alright….who in the fuck let LC Nikki into a Sorority?

“Cunt Punt” heh heh…. almost as good as “cuntmuffin” and “twatmold.”

Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches

“Enjoy being young and full of spunk. “

No pun intended, obviously; though for a sororstitute, particularly of the Delta Grande subspecies, she is eminently hittable.

bruce
bruce

she left out shit fuck!

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.

Somebody offer her a Pledge to the Rottweiler. We can hold initiation at the next Rottfest! :em01:

dcs2244
dcs2244
Nate
Nate

I understand MSNBC is holding a position open for her; her slot (coughcoughcough) is right between Ed ‘Sergeant’ Schulz and Rachel Madcow.

as everyone who’s ever worn a uniform knows, a well placed, clever, thoughtful, profanity-laced tirade from an instructor is better than 10,000 power point slides and additionally, provides for great stories for the remainder of your life.

LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse

She has a lucrative career ahead of her as a scriptwriter for Quentin Tarantino.

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

LC Gladiator says:

DGs reply;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml4C-MYfOXI

dude. I watched that and killed 20 puppies, lit 12 kittens on fire and clubbed a baby bunny. Never post links again. ever.

“If I didn’t have a women in Africa exam tomorrow…” <the fuck??

LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.
LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.

Cunt-punt has been around the biker community since at least the mid ’80s.
Recipients were usually either rowdy drunks or one-nighters that just didn’t get the message that “it’s morning,,
you must go”.
“Freakin’ NOW!”.

LC LOBO
LC LOBO

Fa Cube Itches @ #: No pun intended, obviously; though for a sororstitute, particularly of the Delta Grande subspecies, she is eminently hittable. Meh. Barely average. Then again, I stay away from those places of “higher learning” due to the fact that they are overrun with leftists. Tango9 says: LC Gladiator says: DGs reply; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml4C-MYfOXI dude. I watched that and… Read more »

Lady H
Lady H

Thank you, Lord, I was never a sorority girl.

Lady H
Lady H

Sire,

I have to ask….you must have been impressed with her creative use of profanity that probably even rivals your own? :em05: