Those whacky NORKS

Ahh the Communist workers Paradise of North Korea is at it again… go figure.

The North Korean Army has stated that they have targeted South Korea and the U.S.

“From this moment, the Supreme Command puts all of its field artillery including strategic rocket units and long-range artillery units into the No. 1 combat ready posture,” the Korean People’s Army’s Supreme Command said in a statement carried by the country’s Korean Central News Agency.

I’ll have a Number 18 – What ? No Nuclear Powered General Tao’s Cat? SERIOUSLY ? ? ? Oh cripes!! Oh-Kay *huff* very well then make it a number 38 – Yes, 38, The Beef wid bwaoccoli….and flied lice – don’t forget the flied lice you guys always forget the flied lice!

In response, U.S. military officials said the U.S.-South Korea alliance won’t be bullied by North Korea’s announcement.

“North Korea’s bellicose rhetoric and threats follow a pattern designed to raise tensions and intimidate others,” the U.S. Forces-Korea said in a statement.

Bullied? This is the worlds lone superpower  – or was until Numbfuck butt pirate Democrats took over. Patton, Eisenhower, MacArthur and Washington Are busily spinning in their hallowed graves no doubt.

How about we use this reply instead;

Go-on Cum Of Sum Young Guy —- Or whatever the fuck your name is…..I haven’t killed a single fucking person all day and I’m getting itchy…Feeling frisky ? Jump…Make my fucking day. Love and kisses, Commanding General US 8th Army, Seoul.

 

Too Much? – not ‘diplomatic enough’?  Hey it’s the Empire of Doom here, we can’t have anyone doubting our resolve.

“While the United Nations Command, Combined Forces Command and U.S. Forces Korea continue to maintain the armistice, North Korea continues its provocative behavior and rhetoric,” the statement said. “The Republic of Korea-U.S. alliance is strong and we remain committed to the defense of [South Korea].”

Sigh – That’ll scare the NORK’s okay –  after all, nothing, nothing I tell you,  strikes fear into a despots black little  heart quite so effectively as the looming specter of a  bunch of giant penises with blue helmets sending strongly worded missives from their i-pads. See Saddam Hussein et al.

North Korea said that, in its “crystal clear judgment,” it cannot ignore the United States’ nuclear threats and military actions anymore, Yonhap reported.

Damn it! Will some one on the Imperial staff please summon me a scribe fluent in gibberish? What the hell is a Yonhap? Sounds like some sort of Venereal Disease…”I’m sorry – you have Yonhap, your man package is going to fall off in 30 days, there is no cure for Yonhap – but there is Hope &  Obamacare….”.

North Korea will demonstrate “our army and people’s stern reaction to safeguard our sovereignty and the highest dignity of leader Kim Jong Un through military actions,” the statement said.

Aiieeee – my ears. You Whacky NORK kids just don’t know when to shut up do you? Here’s a “stern’ word of advice – maybe you’ve heard it before. Don’t go poking sticks at a Rattlesnake. See also; The Gadsen Flag Motto “Don’t tread on me”.

Dignity? *SNORT*  …is my order here yet? No? Well would you kindly shut up – you’re disturbing the Imperial Siesta Hour damn it…

In its latest threat, North Korea said South Korea should be “mindful that everything will be reduced to ashes and flames the moment the first attack is unleashed.”

*Yawn* Huhwhhhat? Oh yes, ashes and flames? Oh yes by all means- okay that’s nice Kimmy. Now go play – I’m sure your little playmates would love to play ‘skin the cat for dinner’ … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

South Korea had raised its military readiness and surveillance status earlier in March during joint drills with U.S. forces  which drew an angry response from Pyongyang — and has maintained the heightened alert status since.

“The No. 1 combat readiness status is a term first used by North’s state media, which means the highest level of combat readiness status,” a senior Defense Ministry official told Yonhap. “It seems to be aimed at creating a war-like situation to unite the North Korean people, though it could result in real provocations.”

Where is my number 38 ? I’m starving over here! You F’n people are yammering about Yohaps and Number 1’s – all I want is my damn my dinner!

Highest level – Uh huh, that’s what? 2 Junks, a leaky pontoon boat, a dozen MIG’s with duct tape holding the wings on….and 2 whole divisions of half starved infantry just itching for a fight… this should be entertaining.

Real provocations? Ya don’t say – how’s about we send a couple bunker bustin’ JADAM’s into the nearest NORK Command and Control Center – think that might be ‘provocative’?  We do so like provocative …especially amongst our women….and a straight up fight rather than this endless dithering about Bullies and little boys named Kim for decades, let’s just get this shit over with shall we?

Tensions on the Korean Peninsula have increased after North Korea launched a three-stage rocket in December and conducted its third nuclear test last month. In response, the U.N. Security Council passed another resolution imposing more sanctions on North Korea.

How’s that working out for ya there UNSECC ? Not so hot it looks like. Sooner or later you noodle spine kiddy diddlers are gonna get a clue. Hopefully sooner  you know…like before one of these whacky NORKS pickles off a nuke in Seoul? But until then….here’s a lesson in World Diplomacy 101: You cannot negotiate with tyrants, despots, dictators or rat fuck commie bastards. You kill them. The End. Take notes – you WILL see this information again. Hint.

North Korea, angered over the sanctions and joint drills, has been issuing highly provocative threats, including cutting off the Red Cross telephone line between Pyongyang and Seoul, and unilaterally scrapping the 1953 Korean Armistice that ended the 1950-53 Korean War.

Oh The horror!! That’ll show em Kimmy! Cut the phone lines!! You’re a warrior ! Well maybe a little one. A little one with way over inflated self esteem come to think of it.

Maybe….Kimmy, you best pray to whatever G-d you pray to that scrapping that Armistice is all you do. You start really getting silly – I’m sure the folks in the US 8th Army are getting a might bored these days. And they kicked your sorry Commie asses once – I’m sure they will be gladly obliged to do so again, and maybe this time they’ll not play so nice.

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BrendaK
BrendaK

Oh, please. The Norks are angling for their usual welfare *grain, etc.* handout. And soon as they get it (because Obama will absolutely bail their starving asses out yet again) they’ll go back to just oppressing their own countrymen.

They been doing the same damn thing every few years or so since at least Carter.

LC Old Dog
LC Old Dog

BrendaK says: Oh, please. The Norks are angling for their usual welfare *grain, etc.* handout. And soon as they get it (because Obama will absolutely bail their starving asses out yet again) they’ll go back to just oppressing their own countrymen. They been doing the same damn thing every few years or so since at least Carter. You are oh… Read more »

BigDogg - Imperial Thread Killer (ITK)
BigDogg - Imperial Thread Killer (ITK)

LC Old Dog says:

Also, CISsnarl ‘ol Buddy you have SERIOUSLY got to learn how to do “Below The Fold”.

AMEN (with all due respect)! :em01:

LC Xystus
LC Xystus

McCarther?!

LCBren
LCBren

Snarl: laugh all you like but dont get complacent

Even if they are defeated, his troops can do a hell of a lot of damage and a lot of good people may die.

If they do throw those troops across the 38th parallel, it could get very very bloody. Underestimating a possible threat is never wise.

I say we wheel a trebuchet up to the 38th and fire michael moore-on into north Korea. That should feed them for a good 6 months.

LCBren
LCBren

Czar:I object to that idea. We have no right to give the North Koreans food poisoning :em05:

Well if they can’t eat him they can render him and power the electric plant for at lest a year.

irish19
irish19

Somebody correct me if I’m wrong, but if they scrapped the Armistice, that means we could……………………………………..
:em03:

Orion
Orion

I’m with Brendan. If they go full-on-crazy, they’re going to do immense amounts of damage to Seoul with their tube artillery that’s long since dialed them in. And I don’t care if they’re starving, poorly trained, bat-sh!t crazy and under-supplied, a million crazy people streaming across the border while more crazy people boat ashore or parachute in is going to… Read more »

NR Pax
NR Pax

VonZorch Imperial Researcher @ #: The NorKs are not chinks(chinese) or japs(japanese), they are however gooks, kindly do not use chink or jap to refer to them. I don’t have a problem with you using racial slurs, but please use the right one. I had a Vietnamese roommate who preferred the term Nip to Gook. We argued about it for… Read more »

LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse

If we had a real President, we would remind the North Koreans that we could turn their entire nation into about 45,000 square miles of warm glass in the same amount of time it would take their Dear Leader to finish his happy ending after his daily massage.

LCBren
LCBren

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0i8eiyJmLI and this Reasons abound, but most sources cite the increasing difficulty in gaining everyday necessities, such as food and housing within North Korea. Official statistics from the South Korean government illustrate the rapid increase in the number of North Korean refugees entering South Korea after 1998, when several years of famine killed thousands, if not millions. A starving and… Read more »

LC Xystus
LC Xystus

LCBrendan: Nuclear is NOT an option, for very good reason. This will be a conventional war… The fact that NK now has nukes is not good news for the Chinese…they have a nutcase in control of some very deadly ordinance. Well, then, maybe they should remind Kim Jong-Duh that he’s not allowed to use them nukes. Of course Der Fubar… Read more »

dasbow
dasbow

Unless things have changed much since ’85, I’m convinced the ROKs can handle the NorComs on their own. Everywhere you look there are fighting positions and obstacles, tank traps in rivers, AA near anything remotely important. I’ve seen how they train and live. Sometimes I got the impression we were there just to keep them from going north.

watchyerlane
watchyerlane

The wild card in this hand is China. If China continues to arm the Norks like in 50-53 this could be a drawn out affair but if the Chinese forget the locations of the roads into North Korea, our 2nd ID could be dealing with 3/4 of a million Norks streaming over the border armed with sticks and stones. Either… Read more »

Special Ed
Special Ed

Actually, calling any Korean “nip” is about as nasty as you can get. It implies that one of his female ancestors was one of the “comfort women” pressed into Japanese service in WWII, and that said Korean is a bastard offspring of her and some random evil Japanese soldier.

So, please, by all means, continue.

Mark12A
Mark12A

LC Xystus says: LCBrendan: Nuclear is NOT an option, for very good reason. This will be a conventional war… The fact that NK now has nukes is not good news for the Chinese…they have a nutcase in control of some very deadly ordinance. Well, then, maybe they should remind Kim Jong-Duh that he’s not allowed to use them nukes. Of… Read more »

LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.
LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.

‘Doubt if they can out maneuver, out gun or out fight us, but if it comes down to out-blinging,, we may have a problem.

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.

LCBrendan says: These people ARE getting desperate. Uncle Kim knows that a lot of what he wants is close by..,all he has to do is take it. Or, rather than wanting to take what others have and then make that formerly rich country 3rd world like themselves, they could study HOW the others produce and copy it at home. Why… Read more »

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.

NR Pax @ #13: Nip is derived from Nipponese, those from Nippon, as Japan was sometimes known. thus a Nip is only a Japanese, and no other flavor of East Asian. A Chink is Chinese, and rightfully a Gook is a Korean. (I understand that guk is a word that means something or other in the Korean language.) And Vietnamese… Read more »

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.

dasbow @ #18:
Sort of like a guy with a pocket .22 caliber going up against a guy with the M1911A1; Mr. .22 can very easily win that fight, if he gets in the first shot and shoots to the opponent’s head. Timing and shot placement.

LCBren
LCBren

Is this some kind of US hubris? Do you seriously think that if the North crosses the 38th, they will see the US forces, turn and and run? That the “mighty 8th Army” will stand there, wag their fingers at the the NK troops, and they will “quake in their little boots” and then run away with their tails between… Read more »

LCBren
LCBren

I am not sitting here and wringing my hands, nor am I liberal: I simply state: He has the means and the method to cause a greal deal of havoc, He has nukes, He is the leader of a nation that indoctrinates its citizens literally from the cradle to the grave. If they decide to cross the 38th, I dont… Read more »

dasbow
dasbow

Brendan, what I’m getting at is that South Korea is ready to go, too. The 2nd Infantry Division was never going to stop an invasion. The only reason we were there is so that the American public would be pissed if the NorComs attacked us and agreed to go to war. Otherwise, we’d likely shrug our shoulders and say “not… Read more »

LC TerribleTroy
LC TerribleTroy

Can you say “man portable tactical nucluear weapons”? The capabilities of the NORKS along with their SUSTAINABILITY has been analysed and contingencied to the “inth” degree. What are they without the chinese? Tanks trump troops. Artillery trumps troops, but air power trumps tanks and arty. Of course it would be “a bloodbath”, that’s what active warfare is all about. If… Read more »

LCBren
LCBren

Dasbow: good.

What worried me is some of this hubris and quick dismissal: underestimating an enemy is usually the time when said enemy punches your fucking lights out.

dasbow
dasbow

LCBrendan says: Dasbow: good. What worried me is some of this hubris and quick dismissal: underestimating an enemy is usually the time when said enemy punches your fucking lights out. Agreed 1000%. What South Korea has going for them that we don’t is they know what it’s like to be overrun by a vicious enemy because you’re not prepared. We… Read more »

LCBren
LCBren

Dasbow: This could be sabre rattling. It would not be unlike him. It is in character, and may very well be all this boils down to. That’s best case scenario. He could be pushing for more aid. Again, not atypical behaviour. Maybe he is seeing how far he can push. Well he’s done that all right. Japan isnt seeing the… Read more »

Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches

irish19 @ #:

Somebody correct me if I’m wrong, but if they scrapped the Armistice, that means we could……………………………………..

Surrender unconditionally! Capital idea, peasant! Capital idea!
– B. Obama
J. Kerry

Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches

LCBrendan @ #: Uncle Kim has nukes too..and all he has to do is drive a truck into Seoul. Or lob a a Taepedong at Japan. Or just detonate one in a neutral location with the words “Back off or else” Better – detonate one in Low Earth Orbit. Bye-bye satellites, etc. Plus, exactly how well is an already devastated… Read more »

LC TerribleTroy
LC TerribleTroy

I’m just not sure what Brendan is obviously upset about. My position….exactly what the hell are we supposed to do about the whack job when they make “threats”? This kinda rhetorical nonsense has been coming out of the “rogue nations”( NPRK & Iran) for how long now? Yeah, they have nukes. Thank the chinese. Hey we could get all paranoid… Read more »

Mark12A
Mark12A

Fa Cube Itches says:

irish19 @ #:
Somebody correct me if I’m wrong, but if they scrapped the Armistice, that means we could……………………………………..
Surrender unconditionally! Capital idea, peasant! Capital idea!
– B. Obama
J. Kerry

But first…APOLOGIZE to the Norks. Maybe send Dennis Rodman there.

Alan K. Henderson
Alan K. Henderson

All the North Korean saber-rattling makes no sense to me. It doesn’t even fit within the sphere of any of the usual human irrationalities…except maybe for this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_by_cop

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher

LCBrendan says:

How much warning did the Sth Koreans get last time before the shit hit the fan?

Almost NONE.

http://www.globalfirepower.com/country-military-strength-detail.asp?country_id=North-Korea

5400 tanks

Active soldiers, over one million.

However the last time the North was an industrialized country attacking a simple agrarian society that was unprepared. Now the South is industrialized while the North is no longer industrialized and is not agrarian, just thoroughly fucked.

LCBren
LCBren

I’m just not sure what Brendan is obviously upset about.

Try annoyed. I am not a fan of Uncle Kim, but to me he isnt a joke either.

LC TerribleTroy
LC TerribleTroy

Yeah, well now our media is reporting that we have moved 8 B 2 bomber into the zone. Don’t that make ya feel all warm and fuzzy?

irish19
irish19

Fa Cube Itches @ #:
That wasn’t exactly where I was going with that, but your analysis of the crew in charge is regrettably accurate.

Igor, Imperial Booby
Igor, Imperial Booby

Okay, everybody, deeeeeeep breath. The Norks are up to their usual crapola, blustering and ranting to get attention and to see if any more Danegeld will be sent their way. Our so-called leaders are idiots in this regard. HOWever, the Chinks may be playing ball with us, for a change. Take a look at this Nightwatch article. The money quote:… Read more »

Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches

Igor, Imperial Booby @ #: Fa Cube Itches, the Norks certainly don’t have the ability to blow up a nuke in LEO, at least not with any reliability/accruacy. Not only that, but the satellites are protected to a fare-thee-well against solar radiation and EMP (think Coronal Mass Ejection) and our military satellites even more so. Pretty hard for those clowns… Read more »

LCBren
LCBren

NORTH Korea has announced it has entered a “state of war” with South Korea and will deal with every inter-Korean issue accordingly. “As of now, inter-Korea relations enter a state of war and all matters between the two Koreas will be handled according to wartime protocol,” the North said in a joint statement attributed to all government bodies and institutions… Read more »

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

‘The situation is critical, war is probably just hours away’: Kim Jong Un’s chilling email to British tour boss who had ten tourists including one Brit on holiday in Pyongyang Dylan Harris, of Lupine Travel, received worrying email this morning It said: ‘The outbreak of war is probably only hours away’ Kim Jong-un has put missile units on standby to… Read more »

Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R

I’d bet good money that China and Russia are watching this little NORK tantrum. I suspect that if their interests are being threatened, they’ll take action.

LC LOBO
LC LOBO

The little shit threatened Austin TX fer fucks sake. Wait, that’s where 99% of our libtards are at……. :em03:

Draven32
Draven32

Igor, Imperial Booby says: Oh, point of order – we DO NOT station B2?s overseas. I won’t comment on where we DO station/preposition them, but it’s most certainly not in South Korea. This last jaunt by the Ghost Bomber was to show the Norks that we could sortie from the B2?s main base at Whiteman AFB and yet do pinpoint… Read more »

Draven32
Draven32

Fa Cube Itches says: Igor, Imperial Booby @ #: Fa Cube Itches, the Norks certainly don’t have the ability to blow up a nuke in LEO, at least not with any reliability/accruacy. Not only that, but the satellites are protected to a fare-thee-well against solar radiation and EMP (think Coronal Mass Ejection) and our military satellites even more so. Pretty… Read more »

dasbow
dasbow

Draven32 says: Igor, Imperial Booby says: Oh, point of order – we DO NOT station B2?s overseas. I won’t comment on where we DO station/preposition them, but it’s most certainly not in South Korea. This last jaunt by the Ghost Bomber was to show the Norks that we could sortie from the B2?s main base at Whiteman AFB and yet… Read more »

Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches

Draven32 @ #: Most commercial satellites are in geosync as well. Most. And if the Norks popped a nuke in orbit, I’m sure that every government and major corporation would simply say “Well, that was interesting” and not go completely apeshit. Global markets would react with a disinterested shrug. The media certainly wouldn’t engage in any fear mongering or anything.… Read more »

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

dasbow says:

A B2 crashed on Guam in 2008, luckily it only tilted the island but didn’t topple it..

ROFLMAO, thank you Congressman

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/01/hank-johnson-thinks-guam_n_521541.html