The Imperial Anti-TV Guide

Finally! I’m no longer the world’s loneliest among my fellow homo-sapiens. Another voice in my self imposed wilderness cries out! Hark my Brother!!

Okay so you’re asking if I’m off my psych meds at this point and these voices are just a figment of my fevered mind… and the answer there is actually, no I don’t take any and I don’t have any fevers either – but perhaps I should take the drugs….seeing as that also seems to be the prevalent wisdom these days, to spend ones life in a drug induced fog of  ” abetter place /  better living through chemistry”. Can’t beat – em, might as well join em, eh?

Yeah, Yeah I know get to a point here already – patience grasshopper !!  Lest I squash you like the bug you are. Mheh.

Two little letters…..T.V. that’s the subject of this post.

T.V. And why I am dead set against watching it, supporting the advertisers etc.

Those of you old timers around these here parts, I imagine might remember a few rant’s I might have posted about the subject in the past, but now- now I got me an ally…and the keys to the Imperial booze cabinet to boot…I’ve been vindicated!! Or something like that I guess.

Before I get started here is my fellow voice in the wilderness, Daniel Flynn over at American Spectator- go read. Shoot on sight- Your TV is begging for it! Go’wan – I’ll wait.

Back ? Good… so, it seems by his article this poor soul, like me, is liable to look at you in utter confusion if you ask him on Monday morning over coffee what he thought of that latest episode of “Survivor” or “wasn’t that episode of ____ just awesome” (fill in the blank with most popular TV show).

Like that poor soul – I’m at a total loss whenever the subject around the water cooler turns to TV. I simply end up nodding politely and letting my mind wander off into other more interesting things. Like “gee the management needs to do something about that damn air duct up there it’s full of mold”! My eyes will glass over and I loose all interest in the conversation.

I simply do not watch T.V. except on the very rare occasion there is something I really want to see – like my Beloved Steelers smacking around some – oh wait they sucked last year, never mind. That’s a whol ‘nother subject for debate.

Maybe I can thank my parents for not being a TV Junky – course back in the day there wasn’t much to watch – we had three channels and a set of rabbit ears, Mostly Dad watched the news…we didn’t get cable until I was a senior in High School. I held a steady job my entire time in HS, and I was busy – so maybe that had something to do with it as well. I just never developed a real habit for watching the tube.

But what was aired back in the waning years of the industrial age – was vastly different than what is on the Tube now a days. And that content, via my parents, was heavily monitored – and controlled -how controlled you ask? It was a matter of discussion if that cute Gal that played Daisy Duke was dressed too provocatively…if that gives you any ideas of what was deemed as “appropriate”.  2 hours a day max, you might get lucky and get 3 on a weekend night. If you hadn’t screwed up something earlier in the week that is, in my case that was a rare occurrence indeed – problem child that I was. Ahem.

Anyhow, Some of my favorite outtakes of the AmSpec piece are below.

So long as television manufactures normal, killing your television will always appear as the height of abnormality.

Indeed. In fact, I being the bit of a knuckledragging maniac I am, actually take great delight in being ‘abnormal“. Furthermore, I take much amusement in the confused look on people’s face when they ask me if I saw the latest and greatest Idiot Tube offerings of stupid or the latest ‘smash hit from Hollywood’  and I look at them and say dead pan “What’s that?”or “No I don’t watch TV.”

It’s almost comical to see the gears slip and wheels spin looking for traction on an obviously now ice filled road of conversation.That ‘awkward silence’ moment sometimes is just priceless!

Everybody knows the Wright Brothers first flew the airplane, Jonas Salk developed the polio vaccine, and Al Gore invented the Internet. Nobody knows who came up with television. Would you want your name associated with Joanie Loves Chachi, Amish Mafia, or Chris Hansen?

Who the hell is Chris Hansen? Oh well – I’m hoping that the Al Gore quip is satire – but as to the rest of it – Hooah! Really, anymore? I’d like to meet the guy  that invented this device- so I could wrap a rusty nail embedded 2×6 across his skull. I know, I know “didn’t you mean 2×4?” No…I meant 2×6 – because given that golden chance? I don’t want to fucking miss.

RCA honcho David Sarnoff foresaw sets unleashing “a new horizon, a new philosophy, a new sense of freedom, and greatest of all, perhaps, a finer and broader understanding between all the peoples of the world.” Three words: Honey Boo Boo.

How fucking glaringly apt that statement is- think about it – a medium that could educate millions – spread information as never before in real time has devolved to such a state that “Honey Boo-Boo” rules the air waves. Millions upon millions watching whatever the fuck a Honey Boo Boo is – I honestly don’t know – if I’ve got my facts right it’s some whiny self indulged fat kid bitching about how fucked up her life is? Her and what’s sure to be a dozen or more copy cat shows about, the-exact-same-stupid-shit. Or hey I know!!  Maybe we need just a few more Vampire stories – yeah that’s the fucking ticket…like that one hasn’t been used before.

A horde of hoarders, tattoo artists, and storage-locker vultures passes for someone’s idea of everybody’s idea of entertainment. If you covet other men’s wives, have they got a show, or 10, for you. There’s Basketball Wives, Mob Wives, Army Wives, Sister Wives, Starter Wives Confidential, and at least a half dozen incarnations of the Real Housewives brand. Such a startling dearth of creativity could come only from a generation lulled into retardation by the idiot box.

Simply put – No shit. 15-20 years ago when Hollywood jumped the shark and started remaking every comic book story they could get their hands on I said it – “Those morons are out of ideas”. And they are. And it’s gotten progressively worse since then. The imagination and genius that brought us “Fantasia” and “Gone with the Wind” is dead. It’s successor, a bunch of drug addled fuck- tard rehab failures, that couldn’t have a “creative moment ” if you held a gun to their head. They copy one another endlessly – and then hold circle jerks with catchy names like the Emmy Awards, and in the end,   it’s always the same crap sandwich just wrapped in a different shiny wrapper, no meat and lo-fat… of course.

Every fucking scumbag drug polluted sewer rat in the country sporting a tattoo is now an “artist” with a reality TV show. Great. But wait! There’s more! Every deviant psycho with a freaked out compulsion to wallow in their own shit  is no longer given a nice extended rest in a place with no sharp objects and finger paints…oh noooooo.  Now; They get their own slots on a  “reality TV show”….wonderful.

Spread your legs to every miscreant sleaze ball in the hood??  You get a TV show on MTV glamorizing you’re ‘contribution to society’ as an ignorant slut – gee, not so long ago being the local neighborhood  cum dumpster had social consequences, not any longer tho ….no, now you “get paid”.   Fuck me to tears.

In “The Murderer” (1953), Bradbury casts the tube as a “Medusa, which freezes a billion people to stone every night.” In “The Veldt” (1950), a couple relies on a futuristic television set to raise their brats, only to discover in horrible fashion that their children’s allegiance has shifted to their proxy parent.

And it has – How many little self indulged little brats running around in flash mobs, Occupy Wall Street, Obama cadres, and gangs of marauding punks descending on our cities and towns wrecking terror like a bunch of Jihadis  and a no shit biblical plague of locusts  – does it actually take to understand this? Do you think kids with parents that give a damn and haven’t utterly abdicated their duties as a parent to the Idiot Box end up like this?

When lil Johnnie goes off the reservation and next thing you know he’s cursing his parents – and  ‘society’- for his very being alive and eats a toxic stew of Ecstasy and booze, or blowing his damn head off….It’s like a bad parody. Society is TV – TV is society, so the very thing that Johnnie rails against – was his babysitter. You could cut the irony here with a Ginsu Knife.

Frankly – I’ve got no sympathy anymore I truly don’t.  It’s evolution on steroids as far as I am concerned – only the strong survive, the strong being people that are abnormal and refuse to be indoctrinated by this crap or worse, let their children be indoctrinated – Lil Johnnie’s parents  weren’t and he suffered- ah,  c’est la vie, bon voyage…

Everyone shakes their heads and cries “we just don’t understand” Of course you don’t, you we’re too busy being turned into stone in front of the idiot box and when precious lil Johnnie was being seduced by that same mindless drivel passing for “entertainment” You failed. You failed Utterly and miserably to be a parent. Welcome to the reality show called real life suckers – Cry me a fucking river.

Television appeared to Bradbury as a Medusa. It strikes me as a zombie. You can’t kill what can’t die. I may not be watching. But in the airport waiting area, on the gym treadmill, at the gas pump, on the elevator, in the restaurant bathroom—television watches me. There’s no escape. Mesmerized by television for five hours a day, Americans can’t help but take on the characteristics of the living dead. You are what you view.

True, you can’t kill it but you can refuse it. You can mitigate it by not just watching the damn thing.  And I do. But sadly – those same zombies are now making life a living hell for the rest of us. That’s my ire at TV these days. It’s got people so numbed and dumbed and willing to believe any thing, that reality is some sort of abstract concept.

Seriously could anything BUT a zombie  really think these people on ‘Survivor’ are living on beans and rice and some fish they caught !??! Did it ever dawn on any of these “Survivor” Junkies what it actually TAKES to do a production like that, the logistics of it? Bah- A little make up and a little smudge here and there and these people are “living off the land and their “wits”…voting people off the island, what hog wash.

Hell – Send me – I’d reckon the ones that get voted off would be the lucky ones – the fuckers left behind in a real world situation would likely starve to death in a week. Or’ I’d have killed them for being stupid – which ever comes first – your mileage may vary. Now that’s what I call Entertainment!

Those same damn zombies – in their abject ignorance and clue bereft TV world – they vote – they vote for more free shit – they vote for life made easy – they vote for Mr. Good Looking in a suit.Because the people on TV told them to.

And because they do? I’m with Daniel – just shoot the damn things. Zombie or TV, it matters not, they are one and the same.





  1. 1
    NR Pax growls and barks:

    I don’t see too much wrong with TV. But then again we have Roku, Plex, Amazon and Netflix. Got rid of DirecTv over a year ago and now we simply stream stuff to the TV via the computers. Works a lot better that way. I don’t see things that annoy me, don’t worry about commercials and I’m not paying for channels I don’t want.

    And yes, I’ve received the puzzled stare about the fact that I don’t understand the latest pop culture references.

  2. 2
    LC Draco growls and barks:

    I knew ‘Survivor’ was BS first season, when I saw contact lens cases by the beds of the ‘participants’.

    Want to try real world ‘Survivor’…spend time at SERE school!


  3. 3
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I like Sons of Guns, and Mythbusters, You can’t go wrong when people get to blow shut up and use cool guns, and the occasional cannon…even if they do on occasion take out a nearby neighborhood. :em05:

  4. 4
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    NR Pax @ #:
    I don’t receive those puzzled stares for not understanding pop references … Instead I give then the puzzled stares for making those very same moronic but trendy references du jour. They’re the fools.. :em07:

    And in other news. I swung by another of my daily haunts, and I find a salute and homage given to Our Emperor, Dread Misha I, wielder of hte mighty cluebat o’ doom. :em01:

  5. 5

    As a follow on to my post above – J.T. Hatter has a pretty good argument against T.V. as well. Here’s a bit of it… good read.

    People emulate what they see on television. Copycat killings are a good example. I believe the television media is responsible for more children being killed in schools than any other single factor. The widespread sexual deviancy in our society is another example of media influence. Once people see what is possible on television they believe it is possible, even acceptable, for them to do. When television began to show males wearing earrings and bandanas on their heads, and females sporting tattoos, we saw an immediate flood across the nation of males wearing earrings and bandannas and females getting inked. Monkey see, monkey do. Look around.

    Television tells society what is cool and acceptable. People emulate what they see on TV. They believe what the media pundits tell them. The media has been telling the American people for the past fifty years that liberalism is good and conservatism is bad. Many people now believe this.

    Read more:
    Follow us: @AmericanThinker on Twitter | AmericanThinker on Facebook

  6. 6
    bruce growls and barks:

    one of my hobbies is building wooden cat boats so i like to watch all of the wood working shows,car shows and cooking shows.i never watch nbc,cbs,abc,msnbc,cnn,mtv or any thing about glow bull worming.the science channel is ok so are the military channels and discovery ch. as long as they don’t push glow bull worming.when they do i write them and ask them for proof of any warming caused by always have to be on the look out for bull shit on t.v.

  7. 7
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    precious lil Johnnie

    Ugh–what a repulsive, obsolete cliché. :em04: Shoulda just called him “li’l Zombie.”

  8. 8

    bruce @ #: 6

    At the risk of throwing the baby out with the bathwater here – those sorts of shows – I can grudgingly somewhat accept. But only from some of the technical aspects of it. And there are times the so called experts on them are just flat out wrong with their advice.

    I do question the validity of some of them – specifically some of the Car shows – Hell, it isn’t difficult at all to build a 1970 Chevelle SS into a Blown and Stroked 11 Second quarter mile missile – not of course, when you have a 2 -3 million dollar deep wallet and production budget with every manufacturer on the planet throwing parts at you for free to get their name national exposure.

    For the guys turning wrenches in their garages on weekends with 2.5 Kids and and a house payment – that isn’t reality.

    The 72 Monte project of mine was 24 months in the making and well – close to 30,000.00 invested with parts and labor….and it wasn’t finished when I finally had to sell it. Even that amount, compared to the mainstream shows out there with these gigantic budgets, what I had tied up in mine was miniscule – but that almost 30k is a serious outlay of cash and not realistic to most people – let alone what these guys do.

    So even if I were to tune into the latest and greatest “hot rod” show – it’s not reality. IMHO It’s a bunch of yuppie reject goof balls that claim to be experts in building cars with some serious deep pockets backing them.

  9. 9
  10. 10
    tweell growls and barks:

    When the US went digital and my TV stopped receiving broadcasts we didn’t even notice. It only gets turned on to watch movies and play video games. My internet connection, OTOH…

  11. 11
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Gotta love the show Moonshiners, though. It’s interesting to see how it’s all done, and it’s pretty fun to cheer on some good-guy outlaws, too.


  12. 12
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    Snarl, you and Mr. Flynn are S – L – O – W learners. I quit watching tv many years ago. I have a television and a dvd/vcr machine. No antenna, no cable connection, no satellite, and I don’t miss a thing. I watch some good movies … and some movies that are pure empty calories (Blazing Saddles, for example). I don’t have to spend $35 + per month for crap like Storage Wars or CNN or MSNBC.

  13. 13
    Library Czar growls and barks:

    Philo T Farnsworth.

    And no, I did not need to “google” his name.

  14. 14
    single stack growls and barks:

    I quit watching TV in 2003 and I don’t miss it. I quit then because I was disgusted by it. Sometimes when I go to someone’s house I’ll watch some. I’m always reminded why I quit watching, and it’s much worse than what disgusted me 10 years ago.

  15. 15
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    Stick around Amspec you guys. i can use a little cover fire when sticking it to Purp and vtwin who are the site smegheads. This week it was LF misrepresenting the content of mein posts. When this lot shows up at the Gates of Hell, the only shows they’ll be allowed to watch are Max Headroom and Lawrence Welk. It’s not that I ever expect intercession from Rod Serling to displace any of the bilgecasting, but just once, I’d like some Real Reality TV. Next week on Undercover Boss the guy buying up all the channels with pro gun and hunting shows should get ambushed by a camera crew demanding to know why he cancelled all future production and has laid off everybody. He’s a backer for the Demoncrats and Obama.
    It’s that time of year for my first fixture in the rota of war movies. This week’s selection is The Bridge At Remagen

  16. 16

    LC Ogrrre @ #:12

    Well I’ve been wandering the no TV wilderness for the most part since 2003 as well, maybe longer truth be told. While it wasn’t a choice per say before 2003 I spent 4 years in a place where the only thing available was AFRTS or “A-FARTS” as it was affectionately known. I think we had maybe 7 or so channels to choose from, and even then my TV was rarely turned on.

    Like I said I never got into the habit of it – but for at least the last 10 years I’d say I started coming fully awake to just how bad TV is anymore. Were it not for my other half I wouldn’t pay for Dish Network either – but she does like to watch all the DIY shows and cooking shows.

  17. 17

    Library Czar @ #:13

    Thanks – That is why you are the Imperial Library Czar I presume…. :em05:

  18. 18
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    If it weren’t for The Missus’ and DIY, Love It or List It (blech!), homer improvement shows, Worst Cooks in America, my TV would only be turned on for Space-X launches, Cops, shows like Combat Rescue, etc. Only occasionally, I sez.

    And, being an electronics geek and cutting my teeth in TV repair when I was in HS (Vacuum Tubes!!) I was certainly aware of Mr. Farnsworth. And yet, I never understood phase-shift modulation until about my late 20’s, even though I understood PPM like a champ. Go figure. I’m a slow learner, I guess.

    In 1957 92% of the circuits developed by man were in a color TV.
    In 1967 less than 10% of the circuts developed by man were in a color TV
    In 1977 less than 2%…
    Now? Less than 0.2%, and TV’s are a heckuva lot smarter than they were!

    …and TV programming isn’t worth a Tinkers Dam. :em02:

  19. 19
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    What the fuck is a teevee ???I think we have one at work. All I know is that it shows men playing with balls. :em03:

  20. 20
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    This is funny. I’ve been (for the same reasons) watching ANTENNA TV.

    So I’ve been seeing some old faves: Leave It to Beaver, Dennis the Menace, The Burns & Allen (George & Gracie) Show, Dragnet, Adam 12, The Jack Benny Show, Alfred Hitchcock Presents. They have a few 1980s shows, too, but I skip those — I’ve gotten to where I don’t want to watch anything more recent than 1970. That’s when the real rot started to set in.

    They keep me company when I fix dinner, and are nice companions when I’m winding down for bed. Sweet, warm, DECENT. You know? From a time when Americans still had our heads on straight, and had some class and dignity; when families were, for the most part, families; “ladies and gentlemen” deserved the name, and children could go through their day without hearing any filthy language from grownups.

    Love. Dignity. Caring. Respect. Healthy ambition. Normal sexuality, and love at the heart of it. All our ideals were in play.

    Now? TV is a sewer, but it’s half the audience’s fault: too many viewers eat that stuff up.

    [BTW, the Honey Boo Boo kid is a tragic case. She’s only 7 years old, and her monster “mother” stuffs junk food down her throat and has trained her to act that way: apparently the little girl has actually asked her manatee monster mother for some veggies from time to time, but the sow won’t let her — because MOM wants to be FAMOUS. …. shudder]

  21. 21
    HempRopeAndStreetlight growls and barks:

    Haven’t watched TV programming in years. About the time they stopped showing history shows and replaced everything with reality tv crap on the history channel. At that point, there was no reason to watch anymore.

  22. 22
    LC/IB PrimEviL growls and barks:

    You’re a tad slow on the uptake, laddie. Even when I was a kid the damn thing was referred to as the
    “boob tube” or the “idiot box”. Television was satirized in the movie “The Groove Tube” back in the ’70s.

    I personally began calling it the “Mesmer Box” decades ago. That one always brings blank stares.
    Then I have to explain about Mesmer, and his experiments with electro-magnatisim on humans.

    For a long while, he was considered a quack, but modern neuroscience has shown that magnetic fields
    do effect human cognition, from mild feelings to out-of-body experiences, and even halt migraines.

  23. 23

    (Humming 57 channels and nuthin’s on..)

  24. 24

    Yeh – Yeah – slow on the uptake – late to the party….That’s me. Well that is, at least in this crowd of right wing deth beasts…… :em05:

  25. 25
    LC Moriarty, Imperial Goatherd growls and barks:

    I haven’t watched TeeWee as a regular thing since sometime in the early 1990s. I admit to being briefly hooked by Firefly and Battlestar Galactica, but over the last several years I’ve hardly spent any time in front of the Glass Toilet, at least as far as broadcast programming goes.

    We have Apple TV for the kids. They watch what we let them watch with no commercials. Occasionally I’ll get interested in a series and I’ll watch it at my convenience.

    I find myself being better informed about goings-on than most people, obtaining my news exclusively from radio and the Web. The only time I find myself at a disadvantage is when I see a copy of People in the exam room and I have no idea who the hell these airheaded clotheshorses are or why I should give a fuck.

    I envy Dean Kamen, who gave us the insulin pump and 400 other patents. He met Andy Warhol and had no idea who he was. He was seated at a dinner between Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine and didn’t recognize them. It’s said:

    At a White House conference on healthcare he sat next to a woman who talked a lot but made no sense. When she left for a moment, Dean turned to someone and said, “She’s an expert on healthcare?” “Well, no, that’s Barbra Streisand.”

    My kind of guy.

  26. 26
    LC MuscleDaddy growls and barks:

    Anyone who thinks ‘Honey Boo-Boo’ rules the set, hasn’t been watching The Walking Dead.

    The whole ‘Oh, I don’t watch TV’ – thing?
    – — – – Sorry – that just rings too similar to all of the other hipster-shit I have to deal with in the Denver area.

    There are shows worth watching – you just have to move beyond the train-wreck – it’s not really unlike walking past the Danielle Steele section in the bookstore.

    (and let’s face it – if ‘Survivor’ were ever supposed to be real, Rudy would have won the first season by killing and eating the rest of them)

    – MD

  27. 27
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Philo Farnsworth invented the television tube when he was only 14. RCA and David Sarnoff sued him for the patent, lost, then won it back taking the credit.

    Philo Farnsworth was just a fourteen year old high school student when he came up with the idea that an electron beam could scan pictures back and forth and transmit them to remote screens- in other words, he thought up TV! While such an amazing invention could not be the work of one man alone, figures such as John Logie Baird and Vladimir Zworykin deserve their due, Philo Farnsworth should be commended for his place in history.

    Born in a log cabin and raised to work hard in the fields, young Farnsworth was fascinated by electrons and electronics, and convinced his science teacher to let him sit in on a senior level electronics course. Throughout his life he would credit this teacher, Justin Tolman, for inspiring and encouraging him, and giving him the information he needed. Tolman thought Farnsworth’s explanation of the theory of relativity was the clearest he’d ever heard, and Farnsworth was only fifteen years old at the time of that explanation!

    Farnsworth’s family moved to Beaver City, Utah under instructions from Brigham Young himself. When he was only fifteen he was admitted to Brigham Young University. He had to drop out a couple of years later when his father died, but he was already more advanced in electronics than anyone at Brigham Young and most people in the world.

    When he was 21 and living in California with his wife, Philo Farnsworth gathered financial supporters and set about figuring out how his invention would work. He was able to figure it out, as he knew he would, and set about patenting various aspects of the invention.

    Unfortunately a Russian immigrant named Vladimir Zworykin, PhD had the same idea at the same time. He made a patent application in 1923 for the same kind of tube for transmitting electronic data. His employer, David Sarnoff at RCA didn’t want to pay Farnsworth a royalty on the invention and took him straight to court.

    Although Zworykin had a patent, there was no evidence he’d made a working transmitter from the design. Farnsworth’s old teacher, Justin Tolman testified on his behalf that not only did he invent the thing while studying under him in high school, Tolman still had the drawings he made of it!

    RCA lost, appealed and lost again, and eventually agreed to pay Farnsworth royalties on the invention. WWII came and production of TV sets was halted to support the war effort. By then Farnsworth’s patents were almost expired. RCA snapped them up the moment it could, leaving Farnsworth in the lurch as it launched a publicity campaign touting Sarnoff and Zworykin as the inventors of television!

    Life went downhill for poor Philo after that. He sunk into depression and alcohol abuse, spent time in psychiatric hospitals and underwent shock treatments. During an appearance on “What’s My Line?” he was asked if he’d invented a mechanical device that caused pain when used. His answer was, “Yes. Sometimes it’s most painful.”

    Farnsworth didn’t allow television viewing in his home. He said there was nothing good on it that was worthwhile.

  28. 28
    LC Moriarty, Imperial Goatherd growls and barks:

    LC Gladiator @ #27:

    He also gave us fusion-on-demand, without having to muck around with all that themonuclear stuff. The basic idea holds some interesting promise.

  29. 29
    Jack O' Spades growls and barks:

    I have Netflix, and 95% of what I watch on it came from the U.K., not Hollywood.

    There’s Foyle’s War, Top Gear, Inspector Lewis, a plethora of between-the-wars Whodunits, Cadfael, Dr. Who, Black Books, etc. etc. ad infinitum.

    I think the only American made stuff I watch is X-Files and the odd Nat Geo documentary.

  30. 30
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    I don’t do tube, haven’t for years. One guy, I thought his jaw would bounce off the floor………”How do you know anythiing, the news?”
    No further comment necessary. My daughter watches History channel and such, far better than network mind rot.