On fishes and stage fright

So – Handed the keys to this shiny and sexy machine called the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler earlier today – I careened home through the desert in my SUV – O -DOOM at high rates of speed… Hey I can do that – gas is 80 cents a gallon over here, and after stomping on Mother Gaias’ ample ass with my oversize carbon footprint ….I couldn’t wait ! Man – I was going to blog something fantastic !

Well I got home, plugged in the trusty laptop and turned the key – and guess what ? Nutin’…dead silence…. no screaming musepower erupted to shake the rafters and strike fear in the hearts of mere mortals…well shit.

So somewhat perplexed…I made coffee, checked the oil, kicked the tires….and I mused and I daydreamed, and still nothing – then it dawned on me- “Dude you got stage fright!” And I do.

- Oh I know – “you’ve been posting here forever – you got your own blog – quit being a pussy!!11!!”

But if anyone thinks that the stuff these guys find to write about is easy; especially the way they do it…let me tell you it ain’t.

I guess I can whip out something on my little old blog and – really truth be told….. it never goes anywhere – it gradually gets sent further down in the cue and a comment here a comment there is about all I see. It’s an echo chamber.

Compared to this place well that blog is sort of – it’s safe mostly… a place where possibly thousands of people aren’t going to look at it and say – “WTFO Emperor!!??!? … this dude is whacked – call the men with the white coats – he’s over the rainbow coo-coo for coco puffs….” And start sending hate mail calling for my head on a pike outside the palace gates..I can see it now – virtual rotten tomatoes and spoiled cabbage flying my way….The howls of laughter from the Imperial Overlords ….*shudder*

This place isn’t like my little blog about an old car and some gun stuff at all – there’s more hits in a day here than my little site would see in a month – maybe 2 or 3 – so yeah I got me a case of the stage fright. It sobering to contemplate.

Then there’s the boss… Something was said – something about flying a cargo plan full of rubber dog shit to Hong Kong through a hail of Imperial SAM’s if I screwed this up – or was that a movie? No pressure tho…right?

So as I mulled over this problem – I sipped my java and I stared at the fish. Yeah I got fish – I rented a furnished flat over here in the sand pit when I returned, and it came complete right down to this 150 gallon monstrosity of a tank populated with Koi and some other odd orange angel fish looking things. No clue what they are called.

It’s quite the set up – but hey I didn’t pay for it so kudos to the previous tenant. I feed them twice a day – and they …well they swim around in their little water world – totally oblivious to the fact that their lives are in the hands of a maniac deathbeast conservative …Er I mean  compassionate animal loving tree hugging ….

Then it dawned on me – those fish remind me of something….something about them being 100% dependent on another entity for their survival. Oh yeah that would be the 47% out there ….dependent on the whims of slimy politicians – suckered into thinking those same politicians give a rats ass about them or their families because they hand out food stamps and a pittance in cash every month….and sadly unlike the fish here who have an excuse, they were captured or bred into captivity after all..The 47% are voting for it. Sometimes more than once even…

They keep right on voting for the scraps and the handouts of their chain holders….and like those fish – they are utterly unaware of the fact their very survival depends on the largess of government. Or in the fishes case – me. In either case they are well and truly screwed…in fact I give the fish the better chances, as long as I don’t forget to feed them that is and my memory ain’t all that good ……

 

 

 

 

 

24 comments

  1. 1
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    I’ve been accused of having issues but never performance issues -snarf- -gwaf- -snort-

    Hang in there, it’ll cum er come….

    Speaking of which, why did you have to beg? The Emperor had a bunch of Gamorrean Prison Guards throw a net over me and drag me down to the the Imperial Dungeon Gameroom and threatened me with never ending videos of Puglosi speeches if I didn’t come over to the Dark Side. Not that I regret it…the Imperial Liquor Cabinet is always full…

  2. 2
    LC Ohio Right Wing Nut growls and barks:

    The question is…How do we wake up fish in the tank to the Idea that there is a great big ocean out there with endless possibilities as long as they want to venture out on their own? Are there sharks? Sure is, and you could get eaten, but still a whole shit ton better than swimming around in a cube waiting, hoping someone feeds you.

  3. 3

    LC Light29ID @ #:

    Speaking of which, why did you have to beg? The Emperor had a bunch of Gamorrean Prison Guards throw a net over me and drag me down to the the Imperial Dungeon Gameroom and threatened me with never ending videos of Puglosi speeches if I didn’t come over to the Dark Side. Not that I regret it…the Imperial Liquor Cabinet is always full…

    Top 10 reasons I wanted to write on the Rott:

    - I’m a glutton for punishment?
    - I dunno….it seemed like a good thing to do at the time?
    - I went full on redneck mode and decided to yell “HEY’YAL WATCH THIS!!!…Across the World Wide Web?
    - The voices told me to – and I listened. I ALWAYS LISTEN TO THE VOICES….
    - 4 out of 5 dentist recommend it …oh wait that’s my toothpaste.
    - There’s 72 Virgin Imperial Sex Slaves – my reward in the afterlife – the boss said so…no really!!
    - Somewhere a liberal is reading my posts and getting a BAD case of hives.
    - The Daily KOS said I was too mean and bad for their self-esteem – whatever the fuck that is….
    - I’m actually a nefarious Al Gore plant – in 30 days flat everyone here will believe global warming is real…
    - There’s 50 bazillion blogs in the wold….but only one NiceDoggie…….

    -
    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foriegn War Correspondant recently posted..On fishes and stage frightMy Profile

  4. 4

    LC Ohio Right Wing Nut @ #:2

    Indeed! Great thoughts…
    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foriegn War Correspondant recently posted..On fishes and stage frightMy Profile

  5. 5
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Ohio Right Wing Nut @ #:

    How do we wake up fish in the tank

    Depth Charge? :em01:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..Yes, the Democrats DID destroy the economyMy Profile

  6. 6
    LC/IB PrimEviL growls and barks:

    Your jitters are quite understandable. His Imperial Nastiness, et all are a tough act to follow. Sort of like an
    unknown comic being asked to do the closer for The Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
    LC/IB PrimEviL recently posted..The Dreamliner, Boeing’s Honey-Boo-BooMy Profile

  7. 7
    bruce growls and barks:

    are you in raghead land and if so,WHY

  8. 8
    Darth Venomous growls and barks:

    Top 10 reasons I wanted to write on the Rott

    …really needs to be its own post. :em05: :em01:

  9. 9

    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foriegn War Correspondant says:

    I’m actually a nefarious Al Gore plant – in 30 days flat everyone here will believe global warming is real

    Uh huh…don’t forget I can change the locks on that liquor cabinet faster than Mope can pop the top on a Sam Adams. I’m not the Imperial Trash Technician for nuthin! :em07:

    totally oblivious to the fact that their lives are in the hands of a maniac deathbeast conservative

    A vast majority depend on us deathbeasts for their welfare checks. Who the hell else is the Gubmint going to steal from to pay for them? They won’t bother to get off their sorry entitlement asses until the Gubmint starts taking from THEM.

  10. 10

    bruce @ #:7

    It’s complicated Bruce… But I have been doing work abroad off and for the best part of 12 years now. Here for now into my 9th year – pre 9-11 I was out on a tiny little place called Kwajalien Atoll, in the Marshall Islands.

    Darth Venomous @ #:8

    Thanks venomous… :em05:

    Lady M-ITT™-Imperial Sniper G.L.O.R @ #: 9

    :em06:
    :em06: Let’s not get hasty with that booze now – yeesh !! Guess we know who’s REALLY in charge around here ….. :em05:
    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foriegn War Correspondant recently posted..On fishes and stage frightMy Profile

  11. 11
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Im jealous Snarl…I post more than you do. But….WELCOME

  12. 12
    Weyland growls and barks:

    - There’s 72 Virgin Imperial Sex Slaves – my reward in the afterlife – the boss said so…no really!!

    Hutts my boy, 72 virgin Hutts. Your very own harem. :em05:

  13. 13

    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foriegn War Correspondant says:

    Guess we know who’s REALLY in charge around here …..

    If Mrs. M ain’t happy….
    LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..On fishes and stage frightMy Profile

  14. 14
    majorityofone growls and barks:

    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foriegn War Correspondant @ #:

    There’s 72 Virgin Imperial Sex Slaves – my reward in the afterlife – the boss said so…no really!!

    Bad news for ya. The only virgins that make it to heaven are 300+ lbs, ugly and more than likely man hating lesbians It may be eternity but I don’t look on it as Paradise.

  15. 15

    Im jealous Snarl…I post more than you do. But….WELCOME

    Thanks bud – I started out with this place in 2003 content for the most part to watch the fireworks – I decided to see about maybe launching a few of my own…

    Hutts my boy, 72 virgin Hutts. Your very own harem.

    :em03: Doh! Aww – stupid fine print!! :em06:

    Bad news for ya. The only virgins that make it to heaven are 300+ lbs, ugly and more than likely man hating lesbians It may be eternity but I don’t look on it as Paradise.

    Kill Joy… :em05: :em05:
    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondant recently posted..TSA Violates the 4th part 10,000,000,000My Profile

  16. 16
    LC Ohio Right Wing Nut growls and barks:

    angrywebmaster says:

    Depth Charge?

    Ummmm…thats not really a wake up, but I am with ya brother :em01:

  17. 17
    LCBrendan growls and barks:

    That office down the hall is mine. The one guarded by the kangaroo with the M15? Don’t annoy him…. :em05:

  18. 18
    LC Ohio Right Wing Nut growls and barks:

    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foriegn War Correspondant says:

    - I went full on redneck mode and decided to yell “HEY’YAL WATCH THIS!!!

    As a Redneck myself, I know that never ends well :em05:

  19. 19
    LC Ohio Right Wing Nut growls and barks:

    LCBrendan says:

    The one guarded by the kangaroo with the M15?

    The Gubmint outlawed that there mean weapon, your kangaroo is now armed with a rape whistle and a strongly worded message from the U.N.

  20. 20

    That office down the hall is mine. The one guarded by the kangaroo with the M15? Don’t annoy him

    Huh? What? Armed Kangaroos …Jimminy! what the hell did I GET MYSELF INTO NOW….. :em05:
    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondant recently posted..TSA Violates the 4th part 10,000,000,000My Profile

  21. 21
  22. 22

    Corngranulations, mi amigo. Cover your 6.
    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician recently posted..A thought for this morningMy Profile

  23. 23
    LCBrendan growls and barks:

    Huh? What? Armed Kangaroos …Jimminy! what the hell did I GET MYSELF INTO NOW….

    He’s a good bloke once you get to know him.

    And as long as you keep your mitts OUT of my liquor cabinet?

  24. 24

    LCBrendan says:

    He’s a good bloke once you get to know him.

    And as long as you keep your mitts OUT of my liquor cabinet?

    He and I have an agreement. He looks the other way, I share your booze with him. Ain’t ya noticed his rosy cheeks lately. :-)
    LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..Biden advises women My Profile