Did Anybody Catch Øbamandias’ Brilliant Oratory This Evening?

Because we most assuredly didn’t. We’d much rather be listening to endless loops of Cato the Elder’s droning about the price of cabbage with the odd bit about Carthage thrown in at the end. At least Cato had a point and it was rarely about himself, droll as that point might be.

But we did get some reports from the more masochistically inclined citizens of the Empire. Do not envy them, but do not pity them either. It is from their ranks that we recruit the most steadfast, unflinching soldiers the Empire has. After they pass B.C.’s erm, indoctrination course. And when we say “pass” we mean “survive.” They are the only ones other than B.C. who truly know the horrors of his A/V collection and live to tell the tale. OK, we had to cut out the last test because it eliminated too many otherwise promising recruits, so we guess they know most of the horrors. We shan’t go into details about the Ultimate Test™, but it involved a close-up IMAX recording in 3D Smell-O-Vision of Helen Thomas pleasuring herself with the hilt of a Hitlerjugend dagger.

The last recruit to face it clawed his eyes out with his own nails and his last words were, as he bled to death: “I can still SEE IT!”

Are we digressing again? Why, we do believe that we are.

Øbamses IV’s excellent adventure in trying to explain himself regarding our war, excuse us, “kinetic” something or other action against Libya was, as we’d pretty much expected, nothing but an endless display of auto-fellatio which, to be quite frank with you, our good citizens, we still don’t understand why he bothers with. It’s not like there’s a shortage of Make Believe Media fellaters who will happily do the deed for him.

We were assured by his most Golfing Excellency that it was he, and he alone, who strode into the fight like a giant of old and took the helm, saving or creating untold millions of civilian lives.

Yes, we realize that, but let’s not go into the “creating” bit here. Moo-chelle Antoinette might get upset with us and there are few things we fear more than having to face her girth and the massive testicle shelf that she passes off as a mandible.

After having modestly established his own heroism in putting a decisive and quick end to a conflict that he spent weeks golfing and partying in Rio before making a decision on when he realized that the French had beat him to it, he then went on to praise his own wisdom in letting others take the lead which, being the brilliant statesman that he is, he accomplished by relinquishing command of the troops that he is, allegedly, the Commander-in-Chief of. They’re still the only ones fighting, the rest of his massive, 14 member strong (we’re probably high balling it here since the actual number seems to be decreasing quicker than the number of canapés available at a buffet with Mickey Moore-on in attendance) coalition of the grinning (compared to the BushHitler’s paltry 48 but he didn’t have France!) having gone home for beer, tea, scones and falafels, but by JOVE they’re in command!

Of the US troops, that is, since nobody else seems to be around. Meaning that the US is in no shape, form or fashion, the leader of his happy band of buggerers. We suppose he’s just using our men and women as rented out whores, except he’s not even charging rent.

We’re also informed that he justified his decision including, we presume, his decision to NOT apprise Congress of the fact, much less seeking the approval thereof (it’s only war we’re talking about and hey, is that the Girl from Ipanema going by?) by being unable to sit idly by while civilians are being massacred. Unless said civilians happen to be Iranians or Iraqi Shiites, of course. Or anybody else being massacred and/or oppressed by regimes who are mortal enemies of the U.S.

Let’s see: We have Egypt, an ally of ours who was no threat to us whatsoever. Øbamandias’ response, when he’d finally settled on one, which is to say, when the issue had been already settled, was to support the rebellion. Then we have Libya, the dictator of which had been shitting his pants ever since we dragged his namesake Saddam Hussein out of a shithole and trying to do his best not to get on our bad side lest he be bombed to smithereens. Øbamandias’ response, once the French had decided it for him, was to bomb him to smithereens.

Not that there’s any love lost between His Imperial Majesty, Misha I, and the murderous thug that is Quackdaffi, but it seems to us that carpet bombing assholes after they’ve prostrated themselves before you doesn’t exactly encourage other assholes to follow suit. But we’re sure we’re missing some vital nuance in there.

So: Ally yourself with the U.S. (Egypt) or do your damndest not to piss us off (Libya) earns you a kick in the keister. Pissing all over us, ignoring every single demand we issue (Iran, Syria and North Korea) earns you a bunch of not-so-sternly worded notes of concern.

Sorry. We’re still missing the Brilliance of Øbamandias’ Smarterer Diplomacy™ here.

Not that any of this matters. We already know that once the Make Believe Media have received their Talking Points from Journolist II, we’ll hear wall to wall praises of his speech, declaring it the most inspired piece of oratory since G-d spoke from a burning bush.

Which is yet another reason why we can’t watch the news anymore.

Perhaps we should have B.C. drop the Helen Thomas videos and replace them with recordings of the Øgabemedia’s tongue-baths.

No.

That would be TOO cruel.

We’d like to have some of the recruits survive.

Thatisall.

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LC Scott
LC Scott

Well I’ll admit I listened in to the entire speech. I”l also admit that it was a tough choice, listen to the hobos in the bus seat in front of me argue over the degree of their toe jam or tune in to jugears telling us to bend over and take with a smile. The speech did move me off… Read more »

Elephant Man
Elephant Man

While flipping through the channels I landed on Obongo’s speech long enough to hear him proclaim piously that the “United States has not acted alone.”. (Unlike that evil Chimpy Bushitler) After much blather about coalitions, I heard this gem: I have made it clear that I will never hesitate to use our military swiftly, decisively, and unilaterally (emphasis mine) when… Read more »

LC Xystus
LC Xystus

Øbamses IV’s excellent adventure

Whence the numeral?

LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.
LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.

If we took this speech, removed the references to libya, pasted in “Iraq”,, as in, the situation in iraq Dubya faced,, it would be somethin’ of an inspiration.
Barry Bizarre.

Imperial Grammar Hun, G.L.O.R
Imperial Grammar Hun, G.L.O.R

The imposter-in-chief was in full lie mode straight out of the gate. Nearly the first thing out of his piehole was that the US had taken the lead in the coalition efforts. Then, about midway through, he mentioned how he had contacted a bipartisan group in congress who gave him approval…????? The whole thing was lies, more lies, and even… Read more »

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator
LC Draco
LC Draco

I was forced to watch ‘Dancing with the Stars’…. :em95:

Cortillaen
Cortillaen

A little something from one of the Obama’s Excellent Latin Adventure speeches that really gets the whole “I want to punch you in the face” itch going: And that’s why building this international coalition has been so important because it means that the United States is not bearing all the cost. It means that we have confidence that we are… Read more »

LC Scott
LC Scott

LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech says:

If we took this speech, removed the references to libya, pasted in “Iraq”,, as in, the situation in iraq Dubya faced,, it would be somethin’ of an inspiration.
Barry Bizarre.

I suppose that this is racist then.

Link.

FrJim, Imperial Chaplain
FrJim, Imperial Chaplain

Didn’t watch the speech, and as a Commissioned Officer, I can’t say anything that violates Article 88. Here are, however, some questions for consideration: 1. What is the primary aim of this mission? 2. What are the conditions of victory? 3. What vital national interests are involved? 4. Which of our national values are at risk and why is Libya… Read more »

LC Beaker, Imperial Photographer
LC Beaker, Imperial Photographer

The last recruit to face it clawed his eyes out with his own nails and his last words were, as he bled to death: “I can still SEE IT!” That is why I read this site daily. On a serious note, the difference between Iraq and this miserable clusterfuck, is that Bush had a truckload of UN Resolutions and the… Read more »

Virago
Virago

I didn’t catch the speech, had to wash my hair. But I followed up with Fact Check FACT CHECK: How Obama’s Libya claims fit the facts http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5g-dqJ5EPzhI1-chVzR1SHOO0AVNQ?docId=3d27d312b3a044e484eba04a2ad6b450 And since history is always relevant… CHURCHILL ON ISLAM “How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia… Read more »

Elephant Man
Elephant Man

DJ lectures: Remember also, that a lot of the UN resolution for force in Iraq was predicated on a series of lies and half-truths. You’re still going with the “Bush lied – People died” meme? I would have thought that after repeated demonstrations (just look in the archives for example) of how inane and idiotic that meme actually is, it… Read more »

Elephant Man
Elephant Man

Make no mistake about it. If 9/11 Pearl Harbor had never happened, Bush Roosevelt could never have gotten the support of Congress nor the support of the American people to go into Iraq to war with Germany and Japan. He needed his “Pearl Harbor” event to gain that kind of support and he got it. I did a little creative… Read more »

readerjp
readerjp

As soon as I heard he was giving a speech last night, I decided I was going swimming. The broadcast waves can’t get you there.

LC PrimEviL
LC PrimEviL

*yawn* So the Blatherer-in-Thief issued another effluent of verbal sewage. Like this is news.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cooked lawyer with a crooked politician?
A: Barak Obama. :em95:

lc purple raider
lc purple raider

There were no WMD, Curveball lied (and has now admitted it) and there is no getting around it. The reason(s) for the Iraq war were false. Not according to the Dulfer Report. The links to the 3 volumes and the addendum of the Dulfer Report is here. Please go over the minutae. Also, if the Iraqis can bury a fighter… Read more »

LC FORGER - Monster Hunter
LC FORGER - Monster Hunter

Uh, DJ, if Saddam didn’t have any WMD, what did he use on the Kurds, Bean Farts??

Elephant Man
Elephant Man

DJ thunders in a fit of pique: Gotta go with the facts. There were no WMD, Curveball lied (and has now admitted it) and there is no getting around it. The reason(s) for the Iraq war were false. If YOU want to cling to the fantasy that they were true that is up to you. Gotta go with the facts?!… Read more »

LC Spare Parts
LC Spare Parts

Beware the Snides of March. Obama is at war with reality. Mohamar simply made himself available. The debate on whether Natalie did her own dancing in Black Swan is a lot more fun. Right foot 5th position front, croise’.

Darth Venomous
Darth Venomous

Again, try to keep up.

Yes, let’s try to keep up with the Kossacks, the News-poodles, the LA Slimes’ blogs, USA Not Any Time Soon, 911TwooferBlogger…liberal shit-for-brains, ad infinitim, ad nauseam.

Really, Deej.

Cannon Fodder
Cannon Fodder

You know, I love this bullshit about no WMD’s were found in Iraq. Seems that people forget that they found yellow cake uranium and chemicals for the WMD’s in Iraq. They just discounted the WMD component chemicals because they had been in the heat long enough to no longer be viable. In my opinion, that doesn’t matter. They were in… Read more »

LC Gunsniper
LC Gunsniper

U.N. Resoultion 1441 Saddam was never in compliance with any UN resolution from 678 onward. Further, the UN itself was too busy playing footsie with Saddam to care about enforcing the cease-fire resolutions so they can shut the fuck up about Operation Iraqi Freedom . And of course there’s The Iraq Liberation Act of 1998 which made regime change in… Read more »

Erbo
Erbo

They interrupted my afternoon traffic reports so they could air the Obamateur’s speech, which, as far as I could tell, basically consisted of “blah, blah, blah, Libya, blah, blah, blah, Gadhafi sucks, blah, blah, blah, it’s for the CHILLLLLLdren, blah, blah, blah, sanctimony, sanctimony, sanctimony, blah, blah, blah, blame Bush.” Fortunately, I was close enough to home that I could… Read more »

LC Random Numbers
LC Random Numbers

I object, Sire! Your dragging the noble name of Ozymandias down by mixing it with Present Obum. Ozymandias at least left a foundation behind.

Darth Venomous
Darth Venomous

Maybe you should read the actual admission. And maybe you and “Curveball” should read this, this, this and this. Don’t like those sources?&#160 Well, then – how about this one and this one? (And thanks, but I’ll trust anything Newsmax says over anything the Kostard spews, and over most things the Guardian bleats. This is what I keep trying to… Read more »

Elephant Man
Elephant Man

Leftist asshats will never give up the “Bush lied” meme. What started as a political ploy to bash “Dubya” leading up to the 2004 election has morphed into “fact” in the fevered minds of the liberal moonbats. It’s only going to get more hilarious as the reality of the utter incompetence of the Obongo regime continues to unfold. Given the… Read more »

Elephant Man
Elephant Man

Response to LC Spare Parts @:

Speaking of dancing:

Obongo gave his speech at 7:30 instead of the standard 8:00 primetime slot so he wouldn’t interrupt “Dancing With the Stars”.

Before Libya, White House Must Negotiate With ABC

It’s good to know that everyone in The White House and ABC has their priorities straight…. 🙄 :em01:

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

You know DJ is such a friggin liar/hypocrite. If we grant his claims (for the sake of argument ONLY),that there were NO WMDs in Iraq,(which there were) Bush was still justified in invading Iraq, according to DJs fearless leader,pResident Hussein Obammy-liar who said ….wait for it………………… “To brush aside America’s responsibility as a leader and — more profoundly — our… Read more »

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

President Barack Obama’s approval rating and prospects for reelection have plunged to all-time lows Hard to believe. Indecisive: Waits 3 weeks to make up his mind on Libya–then doesn’t make up his mind .Lets Iranian freedom fighters twist in the wind and get slaughtered. Destructive: Spends like there is no tomorrow. Takes expenditures to 25% of GDP, Sends debt to… Read more »

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

destroyed or rendered useless every promise Obama made during the election. Gitmo, still open. Rendition, still happening. Iraq, 150,000 still there. Afghanistan, more troops for a country that never mattered. Obamacare, waivers for friends and sweet heart deals have destroyed. Spending, insane. Leadership, non existent. The country needs new leadership period. I would love to see Trump run just because… Read more »

Imperial Grammar Hun, G.L.O.R
Imperial Grammar Hun, G.L.O.R

Response to Darth Venomous @:
Spats, I find it telling that DJ (and the libs) were squarely in Assange’s camp when Wikileaks came out with bad things about the eeevvviiilll empire known as the US. But now that it’s been shown by that same organization that Hussein did, indeed, have WMDs….all we hear are crickets.

LC SleepTech
LC SleepTech

I personally do not have a problem with”Bush lied, Mooseturds Died”.

I wish he would have lied so hard that ALL of them died.

Bush2 was a pussy.

Lizard, G.L.O.R.
Lizard, G.L.O.R.

Since I can not afford to buy a new tv I try very hard to avoid watching him. I inadvertently caught him recently when he had the balls(he borrowed them from Michelle) to attack my governor in favor of the unions.

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

“Humanitarian” seems to be the Democrats’ new word for “absolutely no national interest.” The Democrats were not so interested in a “humanitarian” intervention against a much more brutal dictator in Iraq. But, of course, taking out Saddam Hussein, a state sponsor of terrorism who harbored one of the perpetrators of the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center, would make… Read more »

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

Feeling pain at the pump? Gas prices have doubled since Mr. Obama took office. According to the GasBuddy gasoline price tracking web site, the price of a gallon of regular gas was around $1.79 when Mr. Obama took office. Today the national average is $3.58. The lowest average price in the continental United States is $3.31 in Tulsa Oklahoma, the… Read more »

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

How much can we save by cutting salaries and perks of the Congress critters ? Why does Moochelle need that huge staff just to look hideous ? Who is paying the salaries of all those czars ? And their support staff ? How much taxpayer money is being laundered to jihadi and marxist ‘groups’ ? I’m sure we can cut… Read more »