Did Anybody Catch Øbamandias’ Brilliant Oratory This Evening?

Because we most assuredly didn’t. We’d much rather be listening to endless loops of Cato the Elder’s droning about the price of cabbage with the odd bit about Carthage thrown in at the end. At least Cato had a point and it was rarely about himself, droll as that point might be.

But we did get some reports from the more masochistically inclined citizens of the Empire. Do not envy them, but do not pity them either. It is from their ranks that we recruit the most steadfast, unflinching soldiers the Empire has. After they pass B.C.’s erm, indoctrination course. And when we say “pass” we mean “survive.” They are the only ones other than B.C. who truly know the horrors of his A/V collection and live to tell the tale. OK, we had to cut out the last test because it eliminated too many otherwise promising recruits, so we guess they know most of the horrors. We shan’t go into details about the Ultimate Test™, but it involved a close-up IMAX recording in 3D Smell-O-Vision of Helen Thomas pleasuring herself with the hilt of a Hitlerjugend dagger.

The last recruit to face it clawed his eyes out with his own nails and his last words were, as he bled to death: “I can still SEE IT!”

Are we digressing again? Why, we do believe that we are.

Øbamses IV’s excellent adventure in trying to explain himself regarding our war, excuse us, “kinetic” something or other action against Libya was, as we’d pretty much expected, nothing but an endless display of auto-fellatio which, to be quite frank with you, our good citizens, we still don’t understand why he bothers with. It’s not like there’s a shortage of Make Believe Media fellaters who will happily do the deed for him.

We were assured by his most Golfing Excellency that it was he, and he alone, who strode into the fight like a giant of old and took the helm, saving or creating untold millions of civilian lives.

Yes, we realize that, but let’s not go into the “creating” bit here. Moo-chelle Antoinette might get upset with us and there are few things we fear more than having to face her girth and the massive testicle shelf that she passes off as a mandible.

After having modestly established his own heroism in putting a decisive and quick end to a conflict that he spent weeks golfing and partying in Rio before making a decision on when he realized that the French had beat him to it, he then went on to praise his own wisdom in letting others take the lead which, being the brilliant statesman that he is, he accomplished by relinquishing command of the troops that he is, allegedly, the Commander-in-Chief of. They’re still the only ones fighting, the rest of his massive, 14 member strong (we’re probably high balling it here since the actual number seems to be decreasing quicker than the number of canapés available at a buffet with Mickey Moore-on in attendance) coalition of the grinning (compared to the BushHitler’s paltry 48 but he didn’t have France!) having gone home for beer, tea, scones and falafels, but by JOVE they’re in command!

Of the US troops, that is, since nobody else seems to be around. Meaning that the US is in no shape, form or fashion, the leader of his happy band of buggerers. We suppose he’s just using our men and women as rented out whores, except he’s not even charging rent.

We’re also informed that he justified his decision including, we presume, his decision to NOT apprise Congress of the fact, much less seeking the approval thereof (it’s only war we’re talking about and hey, is that the Girl from Ipanema going by?) by being unable to sit idly by while civilians are being massacred. Unless said civilians happen to be Iranians or Iraqi Shiites, of course. Or anybody else being massacred and/or oppressed by regimes who are mortal enemies of the U.S.

Let’s see: We have Egypt, an ally of ours who was no threat to us whatsoever. Øbamandias’ response, when he’d finally settled on one, which is to say, when the issue had been already settled, was to support the rebellion. Then we have Libya, the dictator of which had been shitting his pants ever since we dragged his namesake Saddam Hussein out of a shithole and trying to do his best not to get on our bad side lest he be bombed to smithereens. Øbamandias’ response, once the French had decided it for him, was to bomb him to smithereens.

Not that there’s any love lost between His Imperial Majesty, Misha I, and the murderous thug that is Quackdaffi, but it seems to us that carpet bombing assholes after they’ve prostrated themselves before you doesn’t exactly encourage other assholes to follow suit. But we’re sure we’re missing some vital nuance in there.

So: Ally yourself with the U.S. (Egypt) or do your damndest not to piss us off (Libya) earns you a kick in the keister. Pissing all over us, ignoring every single demand we issue (Iran, Syria and North Korea) earns you a bunch of not-so-sternly worded notes of concern.

Sorry. We’re still missing the Brilliance of Øbamandias’ Smarterer Diplomacy™ here.

Not that any of this matters. We already know that once the Make Believe Media have received their Talking Points from Journolist II, we’ll hear wall to wall praises of his speech, declaring it the most inspired piece of oratory since G-d spoke from a burning bush.

Which is yet another reason why we can’t watch the news anymore.

Perhaps we should have B.C. drop the Helen Thomas videos and replace them with recordings of the Øgabemedia’s tongue-baths.


That would be TOO cruel.

We’d like to have some of the recruits survive.



  1. 1
    LC Scott growls and barks:

    Well I’ll admit I listened in to the entire speech. I”l also admit that it was a tough choice, listen to the hobos in the bus seat in front of me argue over the degree of their toe jam or tune in to jugears telling us to bend over and take with a smile.

    The speech did move me off the fence about this war. Operation Cluster fuck Indeed.

  2. 2
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    While flipping through the channels I landed on Obongo’s speech long enough to hear him proclaim piously that the “United States has not acted alone.”. (Unlike that evil Chimpy Bushitler)

    After much blather about coalitions, I heard this gem:

    I have made it clear that I will never hesitate to use our military swiftly, decisively, and unilaterally (emphasis mine) when necessary to defend our people, our homeland, our allies, and our core interests.


    Given your “oratory” not minutes before, I find that doubtful to say the least 🙄

  3. 3
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Øbamses IV’s excellent adventure

    Whence the numeral?

  4. 4

    If we took this speech, removed the references to libya, pasted in “Iraq”,, as in, the situation in iraq Dubya faced,, it would be somethin’ of an inspiration.
    Barry Bizarre.

  5. 5
    Grammar Czar growls and barks:

    The imposter-in-chief was in full lie mode straight out of the gate. Nearly the first thing out of his piehole was that the US had taken the lead in the coalition efforts. Then, about midway through, he mentioned how he had contacted a bipartisan group in congress who gave him approval…?????

    The whole thing was lies, more lies, and even better lies, interwoven with lots of I, I, I, me, me, me.

    I would have preferred listening to the chipmunks singing Klingon opera, but, alas I couldn’t find any.

  6. 6
  7. 7
    LC Draco growls and barks:

    I was forced to watch ‘Dancing with the Stars’…. :em95:

  8. 8
    Cortillaen growls and barks:

    A little something from one of the Obama’s Excellent Latin Adventure speeches that really gets the whole “I want to punch you in the face” itch going:

    And that’s why building this international coalition has been so important because it means that the United States is not bearing all the cost. It means that we have confidence that we are not going in alone, and it is our military that is being volunteered by others to carry out missions that are important not only to us, but are important internationally. And we will accomplish that in a relatively short period of time.

    Has ever a greater asshole occupied the seat of CinC?

  9. 9
    LC Scott growls and barks:

    LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech says:

    If we took this speech, removed the references to libya, pasted in “Iraq”,, as in, the situation in iraq Dubya faced,, it would be somethin’ of an inspiration.
    Barry Bizarre.

    I suppose that this is racist then.


  10. 10
    FrJim, Imperial Chaplain growls and barks:

    Didn’t watch the speech, and as a Commissioned Officer, I can’t say anything that violates Article 88.

    Here are, however, some questions for consideration:

    1. What is the primary aim of this mission?

    2. What are the conditions of victory?

    3. What vital national interests are involved?

    4. Which of our national values are at risk and why is Libya deemed the chief threat to it/them?

    Prayers for our military service members…and warmest regards to my Imperial flock on this, the anniversary of God’s gracious decision to give me life.


  11. 11

    The last recruit to face it clawed his eyes out with his own nails and his last words were, as he bled to death: “I can still SEE IT!”

    That is why I read this site daily.

    On a serious note, the difference between Iraq and this miserable clusterfuck, is that Bush had a truckload of UN Resolutions and the support of Congress. For that, the media engaged in a vicious search and destroy campaign against him, and any other person associated with his administration.

    After the tea party revolution comes to an end (when the shooting stops), the first people who should be tortured to death in the Halliburton Alaskan Gulags should be the members of the so called “media.”

  12. 12
    Virago growls and barks:

    I didn’t catch the speech, had to wash my hair. But I followed up with Fact Check

    FACT CHECK: How Obama’s Libya claims fit the facts

    And since history is always relevant…

    “How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries, improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live.
    A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement, the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property, either as a child, a wife, or a concubine, must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men.
    Individual Muslims may show splendid qualities, but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it.
    No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step, and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilization of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilization of ancient Rome.”

    Sir Winston Churchill; (Source: The River War, first edition, Vol. II, pages 248-50 London )

  13. 13
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    DJ lectures:

    Remember also, that a lot of the UN resolution for force in Iraq was predicated on a series of lies and half-truths.

    You’re still going with the “Bush lied – People died” meme? :em01:

    I would have thought that after repeated demonstrations (just look in the archives for example) of how inane and idiotic that meme actually is, it would have been relegated to “shrieking moonbat blatherings” status by now….. :em99:

    For someone who claims they haven’t read DU in years, you sure managing to stay in lockstep with those knuckleheads. :em69:

  14. 14
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    Make no mistake about it. If 9/11 Pearl Harbor had never happened, Bush Roosevelt could never have gotten the support of Congress nor the support of the American people to go into Iraq to war with Germany and Japan. He needed his “Pearl Harbor” event to gain that kind of support and he got it.

    I did a little creative editing to make an observation.

    There is widely known conspiracy theory that Roosevelt left America wide open for a horrific attack to get us into WW2.

    I’m just mentioning this as a comparison to the inevitable “9/11 was engineered by Bush to get us into a war with Iraq” conspiracy theory.

    The question is, how far do you think a president will actually and realistically go to achieve his aims as far as engaging in military conflict goes?

    Sorry for veering close to the off-topic zone but I suppose the question could be applied to Obama and his “kinetic military action” as well. :em93:

  15. 15
    readerjp growls and barks:

    As soon as I heard he was giving a speech last night, I decided I was going swimming. The broadcast waves can’t get you there.

  16. 16
    LC/IB PrimEviL growls and barks:

    *yawn* So the Blatherer-in-Thief issued another effluent of verbal sewage. Like this is news.
    Q: What do you get when you cross a cooked lawyer with a crooked politician?
    A: Barak Obama. :em95:

  17. 17
    lc purple raider growls and barks:

    There were no WMD, Curveball lied (and has now admitted it) and there is no getting around it. The reason(s) for the Iraq war were false.

    Not according to the Dulfer Report.

    The links to the 3 volumes and the addendum of the Dulfer Report is here. Please go over the minutae.

    Also, if the Iraqis can bury a fighter jet, they can bury WMD’s.

    Also, FWIT, Bush fought these wars all wrong.

    Mecca and Medina should have been radioactive holes in the ground.

  18. 18
    LC FORGER - Racist Czar growls and barks:

    Uh, DJ, if Saddam didn’t have any WMD, what did he use on the Kurds, Bean Farts??

  19. 19
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    DJ thunders in a fit of pique:

    Gotta go with the facts. There were no WMD, Curveball lied (and has now admitted it) and there is no getting around it. The reason(s) for the Iraq war were false. If YOU want to cling to the fantasy that they were true that is up to you.

    Gotta go with the facts?! :em01: It’s been my (and virtually everyone else’s) experience around here that your “facts” are usually culled from some half-baked moonbat source or pulled directly out of your ass.

    Wow. it must hurt to be so obtuse.

    Then again you’re so used to it, I imagine you don’t even feel it anymore.

    I don’t need DU. I just go with the facts, and they are against you on this one. Try to keep up.

    Of course you don’t need DU.

    Your mindset and those of the denizens of DU are identical.

    That too was correct. Roosevelt didn’t have the support of … wait for it … the Conservatives in Congress who actually thought that Hitler was doing the right thing in Europe. He was able to get the Lend-Lease act passed on an almost partisan vote in order to at least set the stage for being ready for an eventual entry into the conflict.

    So you’re saying Conservatives/Republicans supported the nazis?

    Way to play a classic liberal moonbat meme in a “historical” context. Bravo! :em99:

    I can see why you don’t need DU. You’ve got leftist asshattedness down to a science!

    And yes, there is a lot of evidence that we pushed the Japanese into attacking us as a reason to enter the war in Europe. Whether Roosevelt knew the where and when, who knows. But I am sure he knew that they would eventually strike.

    Everyone knew they would eventually strike.

    The point was (and is) why the two most likely targets, Pearl Harbor and the Philippines were left woefully unprepared for an attack.

    And you’re telling me to “try and keep up”… :em01:

    Now, to steer this back on topic:

    It was noticed by more the a few people that Obongo sounded almost “Bushlike” in his speech last night.

    I think that he’s just jockeying for position in 2012 and trying to shake the “leftist-wienie foreign policy wimp” tag that’s been hung around his neck.

    He’s going to have to try harder and hope this doesn’t blow up in his face.

  20. 20
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    Beware the Snides of March. Obama is at war with reality. Mohamar simply made himself available. The debate on whether Natalie did her own dancing in Black Swan is a lot more fun. Right foot 5th position front, croise’.

  21. 21
    Darth Venomous growls and barks:

    Again, try to keep up.

    Yes, let’s try to keep up with the Kossacks, the News-poodles, the LA Slimes’ blogs, USA Not Any Time Soon, 911TwooferBlogger…liberal shit-for-brains, ad infinitim, ad nauseam.

    Really, Deej. “/>

  22. 22
    Cannon Fodder growls and barks:

    You know, I love this bullshit about no WMD’s were found in Iraq. Seems that people forget that they found yellow cake uranium and chemicals for the WMD’s in Iraq. They just discounted the WMD component chemicals because they had been in the heat long enough to no longer be viable. In my opinion, that doesn’t matter. They were in Iraq and were not supposed to be there by the cease fire resolution. Further more, everyone overlooks the fact that when hostilities started Saddam’s military fired off one SCUD missile. The cease fire resolution also stated he was to have NO mid range weapons. Is it just me or is one more than none?

    I wish I could remember where all the facts are located, but that was some time ago and I never thought I would need the reference to try to debunk DJ or any other leftist nutbag.

  23. 23
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    U.N. Resoultion 1441

    Saddam was never in compliance with any UN resolution from 678 onward. Further, the UN itself was too busy playing footsie with Saddam to care about enforcing the cease-fire resolutions so they can shut the fuck up about Operation Iraqi Freedom .

    And of course there’s The Iraq Liberation Act of 1998 which made regime change in Iraq the official policy of the United States of America so the libs can shove their outrage.

  24. 24
    Erbo growls and barks:

    They interrupted my afternoon traffic reports so they could air the Obamateur’s speech, which, as far as I could tell, basically consisted of “blah, blah, blah, Libya, blah, blah, blah, Gadhafi sucks, blah, blah, blah, it’s for the CHILLLLLLdren, blah, blah, blah, sanctimony, sanctimony, sanctimony, blah, blah, blah, blame Bush.”

    Fortunately, I was close enough to home that I could punch that station off and listen to Sirius XM “70’s on 7” the rest of the way home. At least the music back then made WAY more sense than Odumbass. Even the cheesy stuff like “Afternoon Delight.”

  25. 25
    LC Random Numbers growls and barks:

    I object, Sire! Your dragging the noble name of Ozymandias down by mixing it with Present Obum. Ozymandias at least left a foundation behind.

  26. 26
    Darth Venomous growls and barks:

    Maybe you should read the actual admission.

    And maybe you and “Curveball” should read this, this, this and this.

    Don’t like those sources?&#160 Well, then – how about this one and this one?

    (And thanks, but I’ll trust anything Newsmax says over anything the Kostard spews, and over most things the Guardian bleats. This is what I keep trying to tell you about “credible sources”.

    Maybe one day you’ll listen. But I doubt it.)

  27. 27
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    Leftist asshats will never give up the “Bush lied” meme.

    What started as a political ploy to bash “Dubya” leading up to the 2004 election has morphed into “fact” in the fevered minds of the liberal moonbats.

    It’s only going to get more hilarious as the reality of the utter incompetence of the Obongo regime continues to unfold.

    Given the leftist track record of revisionist history, look for a meme along the lines of “Saddam Hussein and his sons Uday and Qusay were misunderstood victims of the Bush/Cheney?Halliburton War Machine!” to come rolling down the pike at some point.

  28. 28
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    Response to LC Spare Parts @:

    Speaking of dancing:

    Obongo gave his speech at 7:30 instead of the standard 8:00 primetime slot so he wouldn’t interrupt “Dancing With the Stars”.

    Before Libya, White House Must Negotiate With ABC

    It’s good to know that everyone in The White House and ABC has their priorities straight…. 🙄 :em01:

  29. 29
    Gladiator growls and barks:

    You know DJ is such a friggin liar/hypocrite. If we grant his claims (for the sake of argument ONLY),that there were NO WMDs in Iraq,(which there were) Bush was still justified in invading Iraq, according to DJs fearless leader,pResident Hussein Obammy-liar who said ….wait for it…………………

    “To brush aside America’s responsibility as a leader and — more profoundly — our responsibilities to our fellow human beings under such circumstances would have been a betrayal of who we are,” Obama said. “Some nations may be able to turn a blind eye to atrocities in other countries. The United States of America is different. And as president, I refused to wait for the images of slaughter and mass graves before taking action.”

    Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0311/52107.html#ixzz1I5sdZJc2

    So by dear readers own words, Bush would have been more than justified in invading Iraq to stop Hussein from gassing and murdering his own people, WHICH HE DID.

    Libs are such two faced liars!

  30. 30
    Gladiator growls and barks:

    President Barack Obama’s approval rating and prospects for reelection have plunged to all-time lows

    Hard to believe.

    Indecisive: Waits 3 weeks to make up his mind on Libya–then doesn’t make up his mind
    .Lets Iranian freedom fighters twist in the wind and get slaughtered.

    Destructive: Spends like there is no tomorrow. Takes expenditures to 25% of GDP,
    Sends debt to total GREATER than all previous presidents,COMBINED.

    Out of Touch: No energy policy, No growth policy. No urgency to get America in the lead.Apologizes for USA everywhere. Tries to raise taxes in a depression.

    What’s not to love about the current occupant? He’s voting present. and Golfing.
    Fire up the big plane, I’m out of here.

  31. 31
    Gladiator growls and barks:

    destroyed or rendered useless every promise Obama made during the election.

    Gitmo, still open. Rendition, still happening. Iraq, 150,000 still there. Afghanistan, more troops for a country that never mattered. Obamacare, waivers for friends and sweet heart deals have destroyed. Spending, insane. Leadership, non existent.

    The country needs new leadership period. I would love to see Trump run just because he is oh so not politically correct. Would he make a good president? Don’t know but at least it won’t be the same old broken record of slick snake oil salesman.

    Why the Dems put Obama in office is still a mystery. Clinton was by far the better candidate and would have been a much better president. Don’t like the Clintons but I do respect their ability to lead and make choices that are better for America. (than Odumbo)

  32. 32
    Grammar Czar growls and barks:

    Response to Darth Venomous @:
    Spats, I find it telling that DJ (and the libs) were squarely in Assange’s camp when Wikileaks came out with bad things about the eeevvviiilll empire known as the US. But now that it’s been shown by that same organization that Hussein did, indeed, have WMDs….all we hear are crickets.

  33. 33
    LC SleepTech: Pale Horse Wisperer growls and barks:

    I personally do not have a problem with”Bush lied, Mooseturds Died”.

    I wish he would have lied so hard that ALL of them died.

    Bush2 was a pussy.

  34. 34
    Lizard, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

    Since I can not afford to buy a new tv I try very hard to avoid watching him. I inadvertently caught him recently when he had the balls(he borrowed them from Michelle) to attack my governor in favor of the unions.

  35. 35
    Gladiator growls and barks:

    “Humanitarian” seems to be the Democrats’ new word for “absolutely no national interest.” The Democrats were not so interested in a “humanitarian” intervention against a much more brutal dictator in Iraq. But, of course, taking out Saddam Hussein, a state sponsor of terrorism who harbored one of the perpetrators of the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center, would make Americans safer. Democrats are furious whenever American boys (girls and gays) are put in harm’s way — unless the troops are on a mission that has nothing whatsoever to do with defending the United States.

  36. 36
    Gladiator growls and barks:

    Feeling pain at the pump? Gas prices have doubled since Mr. Obama took office. According to the GasBuddy gasoline price tracking web site, the price of a gallon of regular gas was around $1.79 when Mr. Obama took office. Today the national average is $3.58. The lowest average price in the continental United States is $3.31 in Tulsa Oklahoma, the highest is $4.14 in Santa Barbara, CA. Four-dollar-a-gallon gas has arrived on average throughout California, and a number of other states are headed in that direction.

  37. 37
    Gladiator growls and barks:

    How much can we save by cutting salaries and perks of the Congress critters ?
    Why does Moochelle need that huge staff just to look hideous ?
    Who is paying the salaries of all those czars ? And their support staff ?
    How much taxpayer money is being laundered to jihadi and marxist ‘groups’ ?
    I’m sure we can cut a few hundred billion dollars by defunding the above, together with defunding Planned Parenthood, NPR,EPA and foreign aid