Surprise, Surprise.

Recently, I was invited by Ancestry.com to spend a couple of hundred bucks to do a DNA test to find out my ancestry.

Now, I already knew that on my paternal side I could trace my ancestry back to Ethan Allen (he changed the spelling of the family name), but when I got the full results back this past week I found out some VERY interesting results.

I apparently have some relations to Mary, Queen of Scots, but I also have some Persian and … wait for it … African American and Native American blood in me.

Goodness Gracias, I am a fuckin’ nigger!

Notice how I’ve ignored the rest  of my background?

Now, I already knew that my mother’s stock came from Iran — I’ve even mentioned it a time or two here.  What DID come as a surprise is that I do have some native American stock in my background.  As far as my African background?  who knows, that could have come from a thousand years ago or more — but who really gives a fuck?

I do know that while a part of my family has been here since damn near the Mayflower days,  part of my family has been here even longer.  Another part of my family has what could have been a slave background and yet another a future enemy of the state.

Basically, according to Amnestry.com, I am a MUTT.  But like MOST Americans, I am as much as a MUTT as everyone else here, and I make no apologies because of it.

If, for some reason any of my ethnicity or ancestry offends anyone here, then FUCK YOU.I dare the rest of you to sign up for the ancestry.com DNA program.  You might be surprised with the results.  In fact, I ENCOURAGE you to sign up for it.

Not only did I find out some very interesting heritage background information, I was also given some actual information about close relationships that I didn’t have prior knowledge of.  Some VERY valuable information…

33 comments

  1. 1
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Radio Announcer: (John Cleese) And that concludes this weeks episode of ‘How to Recognize Different Parts of the Body’ adapted for radio by Ann Hayden-Jones and her husband Piff. And now we present the first episode of a new radio drama series, ‘The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots.’ Part One: The Beginning.

    (Music)

    Man’s Voice: You are Mary, Queen of Scots?

    Woman’s Voice: I am!

    (sound of violent blows being dealt, things being smashed, awful crunching noises, bones being broken, and other bodily harm being inflicted. All of this accompanied by screaming from the woman.)

    (Music fades up and out)

    Announcer: Episode Two of ‘The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots’, can be heard on Radio Four almost immediately.

    (Music, then the sound of saw cutting, and other violent sounds as before, with the woman screaming. Suddenly it is silent.)

    Man’s Voice (Terry Jones): I think she’s dead.

    Woman’s Voice: No I’m not!

    (Sounds of physical harm and screaming start again. Then music fades up and out)

    Announcer: That was episode two of ‘The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots’, adapted for the radio by Bernard Holliwood and Brian London. And now, Radio Four will explode.

    Sorry, couldn’t help it. :em05:

    We’re all mutts and that’s a good thing, because that’s what makes genealogy so damn interesting. I love it. Now, I’m from an ancient family and we can trace ourselves a long way back, but I’m damn sure that there are quite a few surprises hiding in my family tree.

    I love to learn about them too because, at the end of the day, we’re all the same, we all share common ancestry, it’s learning about the intersections that we DIDN’T know about, that we never suspected, that makes for good reading, so to speak.

    Oh, and I just have to do this, just for ONE fucking time on my very own website:

    FIRST!!!
    Emperor Misha I recently posted..At Least the Man Knows What Integrity isMy Profile

  2. 2
    Boryon growls and barks:

    Pure blood English mongrel here ;-). Ok, if you go back far enough, you find some interesting ambiguities :em03:

    So, is it coincidence that there’s a discussion about exactly this going on over at Baen’s Bar? :em07:

    Goodness Gracias, I am a fuckin’ nigger!

    You joke, DJ, but that’s serious business in affirmative action land. Look at the trouble Andrew Bolt landed himself in last year over “white aborigines” down in Australia.

  3. 3
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    So Deej was born a poor black child, eh? :em05:

    Seriously though genealogy is quite fascinating. My distant cousin has been studying the history of our family for quite some time. My family dates back to the mid to late 1800s as German farmers in Pennsylvania. Not Amish or Mennonite though.

  4. 4
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Get your money back Mr. Allyn. We all have African DNA in us. It’s just that in some of us it’s more ancient than in others.

    1. Wife is Chinese.

    2. Brother in-Law is Puerto Rican. (I keep threatening to have him deported to the land of his birth. Framingham MA) :em05:

    3. Skin color is designed to regulate the amount of sunshine absorbed by the body and converted into Vitamin D. Darker skin indicates areas of higher solar radiation and is meant to reflect the unneeded sunlight.

    And now back to studying the manual on my first EBR that I picked up yesterday. :em01:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..Supreme Court to take another bite at the apple?My Profile

  5. 5
    LC Mike in Chi growls and barks:

    At least Deej didn’t cross any zoological boundaries.
    My mother is Irish and dad English.
    Dad’s family settled in New York state in the early 1700′s (the Howard farm is an historical landmark there) and I have two grandpas who fought in the Continental Army. It seems that the direct male lineage shoots straight through English nobility into the 720-80AD upheaval of European aristocracy and the first major confrontations against Islam. Now there’s a family tradition I can get behind!
    My mom’s family fades into obscurity in the period of the Irish famine in the 1840s.
    We are thrown together here as the last chance for Humanity to get it’s affairs in order.
    I do not expect special favor or consideration because Grandma showed me her Daughters of the American Revolution certificate.
    My father once cautioned me about looking into family history; “Don’t be surprised if you find a horse thief or two.”
    I am as American as they come but, so’s Misha.
    “The measure of a man by his merits and not the gene traces in his DNA…”

  6. 6
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    LC Mike in Chi says:

    “The measure of a man by his merits and not the gene traces in his DNA…”

    :em01:

  7. 7
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    Used Ancestry.com to dig around in my past – mother’s side, as father’s parents were 100% Hunky and little is available without going there and digging in church records – if one knows which church. Looked hard for there record of passage to the USA but nothing to be had.

    Mother’s side was more interesting, however. It seems someone else had done a great deal of digging and after chasing the origins of the gradfather’s relatives found some references to the Romans, the Franks, French (dammit), the Brits and Stewarts of Scotland – that is, assuming it’s factual information and I did the digging correctly.

    Regardless – it doesn’t entitle me to a damned thing but the research was a fun waste of time.

    ________________

    DJ sez:
    “Goodness Gracias, I am a fuckin’ nigger!”

    Well – you are liberal …
    .
    .
    FrankOK recently posted..A Little More Than Poor JudgementMy Profile

  8. 8
    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

    DJ opines:

    Goodness Gracias, I am a fuckin’ nigger!

    Notice how I’ve ignored the rest of my background?

    Not surprising that you voted for Obama, then. He did the same thing. :em01:

  9. 9

    Goddamn… I know the spirit in which this was meant, but that word really gives me the squigglies.

    It’s kind of expensive, though, isn’t it?
    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..Hypocrite hoplophobesMy Profile

  10. 10
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    I dare the rest of you to sign up for the ancestry.com DNA program.

    No thanks. With my luck my ancestry would be traced back to the Manson family…

  11. 11
    LC Wil, S.C.E. growls and barks:

    Frankly, Dave, I would have been shocked if it were otherwise. It was conclusively proven, through analysis of mitochondrial DNA, that all of the human race was at one point about 5.5 K years ago, reduced to 47 breeding females.

    That alone is enough to believe that we are all about the equivalent of about second cousins, if we dig far enough back.

    Btw, I would be willing to bet it’s not African American, but simply African. The species evolved in the African plains, after all.

    Damn shame we can’t call ya a lilly-white bleeding heart librul, anymore. Welcome to mutt-hood!

  12. 12

    .I dare the rest of you to sign up for the ancestry.com DNA program. You might be surprised with the results. In fact, I ENCOURAGE you to sign up for it.

    I plan on it, found some really cool family history stuff after my mom died in Sept, and I want to track our lineage further into history.

    Goodness Gracias, I am a fuckin’ nigger!

    and who cares? I don’t give a damn about skin color, unlike all the tolerant progressives I don’t judge a person by what they are but by WHO they are…..are you a decent person? treat others with respect and kindness? then you’re a good guy, black…white….green….purple….it doesn’t matter, you’re a good person.

    now please stop using that word, you may find it a good way to make a point, but I find it offensive

  13. 13
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    Most interesting, Dave. Now in theory I’m basically descended from Brit, Scot and Irish. My mother, daughter of an Irishman and a Scot wife, ended up in Australia. Actually their grandparents did. So half of me is the descendent of drunken convicts. I know I carry the drunk part, but managed to stay out of jail.
    My father? Buckmaster and Hopkins kinda’ nailed that one down fast….Dad was born in Peoria, his grandparents settled there long ago. I lived in Illinois for three years….but I think I’ll check that site out…….
    Might explain my affinity for climbing trees when I was a kid…………… :em03:
    Or maybe they don’t go that far back……..

  14. 14
    LC Xealot growls and barks:

    My family on my father’s side descends from the family of Sir Walter Raleigh (either from his son, or his nephew — they had the same name so it’s not clear). Some of my ancestors on this side of the family were on the first boat over to Jamestown. We call this our “English” side, but given how long the family was lurking around, I’m sure this qualifies us as mongrels or mutts.

    On my mother’s side… Armenian. In fact, my grandfather bailed out of Turkey just ahead of the Armenian genocide in World War I.

    My fiance is of Cuban ancestry. Her father bailed out of Castro’s lovely socialist paradise and still speaks Spanish as a first language. He’s one of those Hispanics who’d rather eat a bullet than vote Democrat. Surprise Surprise, her parents don’t care for Obama. His first question to me was “are you a liberal.” Fortunately, I answered the question correctly. “Fuck no.”

    All humans are mutts.

    But if there’s anything that binds Americans together — most of our ancestors left countries that were shittier than ours. And why is that, I wonder? You don’t see Americans swimming over to Cuba, do you?

  15. 15
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    I’ve never been particularly interested in ancestry until my daughter found my father (who had bailed on us before I was a year old) still alive and kicking along with two brothers and two sisters. This has been a life-changer for me. At least I got to meet my father before he died. And my new sibs (all younger) and I have become very close. But I give a shit about what my DNA says. Vikings apparently collected a lot of stray DNA during their travels.

  16. 16
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    I did that a while back and found out I was an ALIEN

    :em05:

  17. 17
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Gladiator @ #:

    I did that a while back and found out I was an ALIEN

    Do you have a green card or are we going to have to call Immigration?
    :em05:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..NY Times calls for gun controlMy Profile

  18. 18
    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

    LC Xealot says:

    You don’t see Americans swimming over to Cuba, do you?

    Not yet, anyway. I suspect that by the time Ear Leader is done with us, there won’t be any difference.

  19. 19
    Kristophr, LC growls and barks:

    Congrats on your attaining protected status, DJ.

    You can now claim complete moral authority over us, and over any liberals that dare to challenge you.

    I suggest abusing the hell out of this new found superpower.

    Make your enemies pay!

  20. 20
    Delftsman3 growls and barks:

    On my Mothers side, we can trace back to the English Royal family in the 17th century and St. Teresa the Little Flower, On my Fathers side we found a number of members of the Dutch Royal Court, and a couple of sea Captains, at least one of which was involved in transportation of human cargo to the East Indies. (but don’t expect me to apologize for slavery :em05: )

    On Beth’s part, she is related to two signers of the Declaration of Independence and one of the heroes that died at the Alamo on her mothers side. She’s still trying to trace back on her Fathers history.

    ALL humans are Mutts if you go far enough back, it’s too bad more of us just can’t realize that, maybe it could help bring people together… but then again it would take too much power away from Liberals if they couldn’t pitt us against each other on the basis of race,creed, or gender. :em08:
    Delftsman3 recently posted..GO Aggies !My Profile

  21. 21

    I’m pretty mutty myself. My mother’s mother was a Lee, as in the Robert E. Lee family. We’re still trying to find which of his brothers we are descended from. Her mother was a Curbow, part Choctaw Indian, and French. The Fwench blood comes all the way from royalty. Seems the family decided it was best to haul ass during the guillotine days and moved to Holland to grow tulips. The original family name was Kaughbough. My mother’s father’s family were English and Irish/Scottish. My great-grandmother was a McDougle.

    My dad’s family we managed to trace back to the early 1700′s. I even got hold of a copy of my great-great-great-great grandfather’s will. Yeah we were slave owners…so sue me! :em07:

  22. 22
    LC Xealot growls and barks:

    But remember, we’re eeeeevil racists. I hate hispanic people, even though I’m about to marry one. We must hate Native Americans even though most families who have been here for several generations have at least SOME Indian blood. Same goes for black folk, I bet many of the most stringent Jesse Jackson loving, Al Sharpton worshipping anti-white guy black activist probably have some white ancestors their personal woodpile.

    Racism is a serious issue (albeit one that America has mostly defeated)… which is why the Left really pisses me off when they toss it around so casually. It’s a pretty serious accusation, and if you’re going to make it against someone, you better have some ironclad proof before you do, I say. None of this “oh, disagreement means racism” shit.

  23. 23
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Basically, according to Amnestry.com, I am a MUTT.

    Freudian typo? Amnestry.com–one letter away from Amnesty. Did our ITW seek pardon for white privilege? I’m guessing he’s too smart for that, though it seems a regular source of guilt for those anti-Americans on the Left.

    LC Xealot:

    I bet many of the most stringent Jesse Jackson loving, Al Sharpton worshipping anti-white guy black activist probably have some white ancestors their personal woodpile.

    No doubt. Malcolm X/Shabazz was reportedly called “Big Red” from hair color donated by some ancestor. False prophet Jerry Wrong appears whiter than black. It’s even claimed that there’s discrimination in the US black community favoring the lighter-coloreds! Some of the minority establishment, at least, has evidently adopted the old “one drop of blood” rule for membership in a now-privileged collective–though originally, of couse, that standard was racist!

  24. 24
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    LC Wil, S.C.E. @ #:

    all of the human race was at one point about 5.5 K years ago, reduced to 47 breeding females.

    Well, that explains why there are so many retards out there.

    Still, awfully sporting of the old girls to carry on like that – even Lindsay Lohan stands in awe….

  25. 25
    LC hilljohnny growls and barks:

    most fun i had checking my ancestry was finding i am related to Lord Greystoke.

  26. 26
    Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan growls and barks:

    I’ve done quite a bit of research into my family tree and I wish I could say I have some famous ancestor……… but mainly they were hard working peasants or outlaws. I’ve got one that was a founding member of the Golden Pheasant Society, and spent time in lock up for aiding draft dodgers during the Civil War. One that got drunk and beat his brother and left him to die in a snow bank over a whore. And still another that got booted from Scotland for poaching on royal land. Add to that several that joined the military to escape punishment for some misdeed and you’ve got my family.

    It’s no wonder I’m contrary…….. it’s in my DNA.

  27. 27
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Ancestry-wise I consider myself a generic Northwest European. My father’s maternal Norwegian line, & my mother’s paternal New England Yankee forbears, have been traced back about 400 years. Besides the Illinois artillery sergeant I’ve mentioned before, who went to school with Robert Lincoln & worked in the US Treasury, the other noted family ran the historic Saugus, MS ironworks & later gave Rhode Island a governor for George II. German on both sides. Thanks to trends going back to my dad’s grandfather, I like to say I’m Finnish through “hereditary osmosis.”

  28. 28
    DJ Allyn growls and barks:

    angrywebmaster says:

    Get your money back Mr. Allyn. We all have African DNA in us. It’s just that in some of us it’s more ancient than in others.

    Actually, it is a LOT closer than that. I can trace to a slave family in the mid-1700s here in the US.

    The DNA test through Ancestry.com is a very interesting tool, and as time goes on, more people will get tested, and more connections made. I have a valuable treasure trove of information that I have been sifting through.

    It also highlights some faulty assumptions that families have perpetuated over generations, and sometimes exposes some surprises in the woodshed, or that “dirty little secret” that was forgotten years ago.

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery says:

    I plan on it, found some really cool family history stuff after my mom died in Sept, and I want to track our lineage further into history.

    I started doing this back in July, when I knew that my mother and father were about to be gone. My mother died last month, but not before locating a sister of hers that she though had died back in 1949. I was able to unite the two of them for two weeks, just before my mom died. She had never been happier than at that time.

    We spend too much time focusing on the future and not enough looking at where we come from. We lose track of where we’ve been, and the things that make us what we are today. That isn’t to say that we should be looking at life through the rear view mirror, but the future makes no real sense without our knowledge of the past.

    For me, this has become FAR more interesting to me than arguing over politics. It is one of the reasons why I have curtailed a lot of my activity here. (well, aside from working that is)

    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. says:

    Not surprising that you voted for Obama, then.

    I did? Strange, since I never cast a ballot this time.

    You’ve known me here for a LONG time, Skye. Think back — or go back through the archives. If you did, you will know that I don’t often vote in presidential elections — mainly because I don’t subscribe to the “worse of two evils” line of thought.

    While I do think that Obama was a superior candidate over Romney, there were enough reasons for me NOT to vote for him. I don’t vote for a candidate because they AREN’T the other guy.

    I didn’t vote for Kerry either. Nor did I vote for Gore. I just didn’t vote. But I did vote for Obama in 2008.

    So you see, I have no expectations here. If Obama does a better job this second term, then I will be happily surprised. If it remains the status quo — as I fully expect it to — then I haven’t lost anything.

    What I don’t see is Armageddon.

    Emperor Misha I says:

    Oh, and I just have to do this, just for ONE fucking time on my very own website:

    FIRST!!!

    Good for you! Now what prizes do we have for our contestant, Jack?
    DJ Allyn recently posted..Under the Milky Way – The ChurchMy Profile

  29. 29

    LC Wil, S.C.E. says:

    It was conclusively proven, through analysis of mitochondrial DNA, that all of the human race was at one point about 5.5 K years ago, reduced to 47 breeding females.

    Was that after we had gone through our previous scientific advancement and blew ourselves up like we are about to again because we just don’t learn? Read “The Foundation” series sometime, it makes a lot of sense regarding stuff we continually find that we can’t repeat even now! Maybe we’ll actually get it right another cycle or five down the road. :em03:
    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician recently posted..Will this need to go full scale?My Profile

  30. 30
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    LC Mike in Chi says:

    “The measure of a man by his merits and not the gene traces in his DNA…”

    Or by the traces of DNA in his jeans.

  31. 31
    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

    Dave,

    How does that work? They surely don’t tell you everyone you are related to. Do they just give you an idea of where your ancestors are from?

  32. 32
    DJ Allyn growls and barks:

    LC Wil, S.C.E. says:

    It was conclusively proven, through analysis of mitochondrial DNA, that all of the human race was at one point about 5.5 K years ago, reduced to 47 breeding females.

    I am not sure that is actually the case, Wil. mtDNA, passed down from mother to offspring without recombination has given us a common or a “Mitochondrial Eve” from over 200k years ago, not just 5500 years ago. I am not exactly sure where you cam up with that “conclusive” proof that we were down to only 47 breeding females just 5500 years ago. It is estimated that ten thousand years ago, just after the last ice age, there were a “few” million people. Since nobody was thoughtful enough to provide us with a census back then, the best anyone can do is guestimate using math and statistics.

    I did find one source that comes up with that “common ancestor” only 5000 years ago, but that was done solely through statistical math and not by any DNA testing.
    DJ Allyn recently posted..Under the Milky Way – The ChurchMy Profile

  33. 33
    LC Wil, S.C.E. growls and barks:

    CMBlake6 / Dave:

    Strangely, the timing actually works out to somewhere close to Noah’s flood, as the point where we all descended from one of 47 women. The timing was worked out partially from the Torah, with other records as well, by a group of independent scientists (no, not affiliated with Liberty University), in conjunction with Discovery channel.

    We know there were only 47 women, because that is ALL the sets of mitochondrial DNA currently found, as opposed to the nuclear DNA, of which there are literally millions precursors to today’s population. Before the event, at least a hundred others are “tentatively identified.” That was the easy part.

    Working out the timing was the biotch, and took several years research, and the use of four Cray supercomputers.

    No, I am not alleging that this is evidence of the flood. Does seem convenient, though, no?

    Yes, there is other evidence of a common “Eve” even further back.

    They were busy ladies, ya? Almost as popular as a recent Democrat Party One Day Wonder who won’t shut up.

    —————–

    “Read the Foundation series sometime.”

    Dating myself, somewhat, I was at the local news stand when the first edition of Foundation and Empire arrived, tapping my feet, impatiently awaiting the release . . .

    G’nite, kids. Old Guy is going to shuffle off to bed, cause oh-dark-thirty never gets any easier. Keep the shiny side up!