What’s that we see before us? A heaping helping of crow? Forsooth, we did not even know that so much crow existed.
We better tuck in, because we have a feeling that in a few years we’ll be looking back longingly on the days when we could dig into all of that delicious crow rather than the three spoonfuls of Gummint Gruel that we break our backs to gather for dinner.
Looks like we were wrong. No, not just wrong, but completely into the next six zip codes of wrong. So far beyond wrong that the light from Galaxy Wrong won’t reach us for another 100 years.
But at least we are in good company. Some of the brightest minds in our nation were just as wrong as we are. In fact, every single indicator that previously predicted the outcome of a future election to a tee was wrong. Unemployment above 7.2% (and, in fact, higher than when the incumbent took office), wrong. Crashing economy, anemic growth, wrong. Crushing debt, wrong. Myriad newspapers previously never known to endorse the party running against the incumbent suddenly breaking for the challenger, wrong. Independents breaking massively for the challenger, in fact in double digits, wrong. Turnout against the incumbent, wrong. Anecdotal evidence of pathetic support for the incumbent, massive support for the challenger, wrong. We could go on for quite some time, but we think you get the point by now.
Every single indicator that has previously indicated which way an election would go has suddenly, for the first time in history, turned out to be no longer valid.
All in the same year.
That’s interesting, isn’t it? Well, at least we think that it is. And we deliberately left out the “polls”, because they’ve been wrong plenty of times before. They were right this time, except for the two that have a history of generally being right, simply by virtue of being the biggest, most thorough polls taken. They too, were wrong. Massively wrong. Unexpectedly.
That’s interesting too, isn’t it?
But we digress. We were wrong. Somehow, for the first time in history, every single indicator showing that the incumbent was about to lose was wrong, and we find some comfort in that. At least it’s not like we were the lone holdout Pollyanna arguing against reason that we were right and everybody else was wrong.
It’s just interesting.
So where do we go from here? Well, if we were a leftist swine, we’d be curling into a fetal ball and say “it’s all over” and proclaim that we were moving to [insert name of other nation here]. We’re not, however. We’re Viking and, therefore, clinically proven to be genetically stark raving mad. We don’t know of this “resignation” of which others speak. Unless it means “going freaking berserk, because why the fuck not?” And we suspect that’s not what it means, mainly because people using the word don’t look in the slightest like somebody who is about to go bug shit crazy and charge at the enemy waving a broadsword around.
His Imperial Majesty likes to keep things simple: We’re still breathing, which means that there’s still some fight left in us so, hey, why the hell not? Lots of people aren’t still breathing, and we’re fair certain that they’d be a bit miffed if we decided to just take our ball and go home for milk and cookies because we got a kick in the nuts.
We’ve still got four heroes who were left to die in Benghazi because of SCOAMF’s political aspirations, and we don’t much think that they’ll be inviting us to their table in Valhalla for drinks if we just curl up and die, for one thing. And that’s assuming that Valhalla has changed its policy on not letting whiny pussies in at all over the last 2,000 years. And then there are all of the Founding Fathers who gave everything to create what is being destroyed around us. Not to mention the millions who gave their lives in the 236 years since then in order to make sure that we still had it.
We can’t say for sure, of course, since we don’t even own a Ouija board, but our best guess at this point is that they wouldn’t much approve if we were to just start bawling like babies and cry “it’s all over, we’re doomed, might as well just give up on this whole United States of America thing because we just got kicked in the balls and the odds are against us.”
Sure, we may FEEL like doing just that, right now, but following through on that is not really going to accomplish anything other than marking us as the most worthless, dickless, pathetic excuse for an American that ever wasted oxygen.
So the fight goes on.
We fight until we can no longer fight. Because we’re dead.
But we’re not dead.
So fight it is.
We have a republic. We like it. You think you can take it from us? Come get it. Bring friends. And bags. Lots of bags. You’ll need them.
Fuck you. We aim to misbehave. We aim to misbehave badly. And you won’t like it.
Now quit fucking crying and charge, guys, we’ve got the enemy all around us, just exactly where we want him. You can’t swing your sword without hitting him.
Either way, we’ll have some damn good stories to tell and the leftist swine will know they’ve been somewhere.
Charge into them.