…but we’ll be damned if we’re going to be the last blog to report the Nuclear Zombie Apocalypse, whether it actually is going to happen or not because, well, WE NEED OUR CLICKS TO KEEP THE CRAZY AD MONEY ROLLING!
UPDATE: Just saw on Anderson Cooper that radiation levels in the middle of the core of wait, let us look it up so we’ll look more knowledgeable, Fuckushima Daiichi (did we mess up the spelling?) is higher than it was last Thursday, right after tea. MUST CREDIT THE ANTI-IDIOTARIAN ROTTWEILER!!!1!ELEVEN!!! Bury your kids, buy all the Potassium Iodide you can find and, did we mention that, we have a vendor of that critical, CRITICAL supply right on the sidebar.
UPDATE the Second: Oh wait, Anderson was fucking around with a Geiger counter and his wrist watch. But we really don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about, so please don’t quit clicking like a bunch of retarded, spastic hamsters on the link in your Favorites leading here because, you never know… Oh, and in the meantime, BUY SOME FUCKING POTASSIUM IODIDE BECAUSE WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
Update the Third: Or we might be. But best to be safe.
Update the Fourth: Did we just see one of the New Kids on the Block™ on TV stating that they have it on good authority that all of Japan is going to turn into a mushroom cloud tomorrow? Forget about what we said earlier. STOCK UP ON POTASSIUM IODIDE. And hit the tip jar. For the children.
Update the Fifth: It’s official. Or not. But if it is, remember that you saw it here first, right before all of us turn into irradiated zombies and, did we mention this?, tell all of your friends to go to www.nicedoggie.net at least 15 times a minute for their minute-by-minute updates on the impending Japanese Godzilla Holocaust.
Update the Sixth: Shit. We’re still here, aren’t we? Guess the world didn’t end after all. But hey, we never really said that it was going to, did we? We were just doing our Citizen Journalist™ best to keep you up to date even though we don’t know a neutrino from a hole in the ground.
Update the Seventh: Did you remember to buy a lot of potassium iodide? Don’t worry there’s plenty left. DON’T HESITATE, BUY TODAY! MUST CREDIT WWW.NICEDOGGIE.NET.
Update the Eighth: We’ll be back tomorrow with our regularly scheduled mocking of the hysterical, ignorant, main stream media who are SO unlike us.