Meanwhile, Godzilla and Mothra Continue to NOT Appear

…but we’ll be damned if we’re going to be the last blog to report the Nuclear Zombie Apocalypse, whether it actually is going to happen or not because, well, WE NEED OUR CLICKS TO KEEP THE CRAZY AD MONEY ROLLING!

UPDATE: Just saw on Anderson Cooper that radiation levels in the middle of the core of wait, let us look it up so we’ll look more knowledgeable, Fuckushima Daiichi (did we mess up the spelling?) is higher than it was last Thursday, right after tea. MUST CREDIT THE ANTI-IDIOTARIAN ROTTWEILER!!!1!ELEVEN!!! Bury your kids, buy all the Potassium Iodide you can find and, did we mention that, we have a vendor of that critical, CRITICAL supply right on the sidebar.

UPDATE the Second: Oh wait, Anderson was fucking around with a Geiger counter and his wrist watch. But we really don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about, so please don’t quit clicking like a bunch of retarded, spastic hamsters on the link in your Favorites leading here because, you never know… Oh, and in the meantime, BUY SOME FUCKING POTASSIUM IODIDE BECAUSE WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Update the Third: Or we might be. But best to be safe.

Update the Fourth: Did we just see one of the New Kids on the Block™ on TV stating that they have it on good authority that all of Japan is going to turn into a mushroom cloud tomorrow? Forget about what we said earlier. STOCK UP ON POTASSIUM IODIDE. And hit the tip jar. For the children.

Update the Fifth: It’s official. Or not. But if it is, remember that you saw it here first, right before all of us turn into irradiated zombies and, did we mention this?, tell all of your friends to go to www.nicedoggie.net at least 15 times a minute for their minute-by-minute updates on the impending Japanese Godzilla Holocaust.

Update the Sixth: Shit. We’re still here, aren’t we? Guess the world didn’t end after all. But hey, we never really said that it was going to, did we? We were just doing our Citizen Journalist™ best to keep you up to date even though we don’t know a neutrino from a hole in the ground.

Update the Seventh: Did you remember to buy a lot of potassium iodide? Don’t worry there’s plenty left. DON’T HESITATE, BUY TODAY! MUST CREDIT WWW.NICEDOGGIE.NET.

Update the Eighth: We’ll be back tomorrow with our regularly scheduled mocking of the hysterical, ignorant, main stream media who are SO unlike us.

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lc purple raider
Member

Oh wait, Anderson was fucking around with a Geiger counter and his wrist watch

Which is one of the safer things he’s been fucking around with.

And I’m more worried about Zion and Braidwood, but that’s just me.

BC, Imperial Torturer
Admin

You’re doin’ it wrong, Imperator! The site’s really address is http://nicedoggie.net, NOT http://www.nicedoggie.net. :em04: :em93:

Oh, and I eat way too much iodized salt, so I’m good to go and won’t be needin’ to stock up on the tablets. Mushrooms do sound tasty, wrapped up in a nice omelet. I’ve got some baby Bellas in the fridge, too… Man, all of this talk about nukular holocaust is makin’ me hungry…

Elephant Man
Member
Elephant Man

Meanwhile, Godzilla and Mothra Continue to NOT Appear

I’m sure a meme that ” rel=”nofollow”>Bushzilla is to blame will be coming down the pike any day now….. :em69:

Personally, I blame King-Obamorah. :em99:

SoCalOilMan, K.o.E.
Member

Okay, I’ve looked and scrolled up and down the damn sidebars and I can’t find the potassium iodide vendor anywhere. You gotta help a guy out here, I’m desperate!!! Driving home from work this morning they announced that the radioactive plume has hit Kalifornia and it’s only 1000 times below the minimum limit. I haven’t found any potassium iodide anywhere around L.A.,…of course I haven’t looked. Oh, how I wish I was and ant and not a grasshopper. Until someone can get back to me I guess I’ll just eat tablespoons of iodized salt until the danger passes. /sarc Finally,… Read more »

lc purple raider
Member

All of this seems to be pushing the more important news of what Kate Middleton is going to wear at the Royal wedding…

I honestly did not know who Kate Middleton was until I looked it up.

My Give-A-Shit meter pegged at zero.

Braidwood is a lot closer than Fuckushima Daiichi.

LC HJ Caveman82952
Member

I am appalled and dismayed by the ignorance displayed by the American public and the panic fomented by the mainstream media. I had to walk away, couldn’t stomach watching the news any more. Why, you may ask? This radiation scare, folks panicking over potassium iodine pills. God help us if a true disaster hits, seems the average American couldn’t boil water in hell. You guys ever heard of iodized salt? The only kind I buy. A ground burst thermonuclear explosion in Japan would not release enough radiation to severely change life here. This bullshit I’m seeing on the media infuriates… Read more »

SoCalOilMan, K.o.E.
Member

lc purple raider says:

I honestly did not know who Kate Middleton was until I looked it up.

The dress she isn’t going to be wearing, the one that drew the attention of the Prince, is easy to guess being she just sold it for $125,871 (I beleive it cost $30 to make).

Azygos
Member

I still don’t know who Kate Middleton is. But I am shocked, shocked I say that the Emperor watches Anderson Cooper. I can provide ECT if needed to cure you.

FrJim, Imperial Chaplain
Member
FrJim, Imperial Chaplain

Imagine how surprised I am to learn that the Lamestream Media is hyping an incident to improve their ratings.

Why, that’s never happened before, eh?

:em38: :em38: :em38:

-Jim+

AyUaxe
Member

Heard a major network news reporter (wasn’t paying enough attention to know which one–definitely not AC–don’t do CNselloutN at all) say the Fuckdshitter reactors had to be cooled or they would EXPLODE!!! After a brief chuckle, hit the off switch and fired up The Deer Hunter. Visited Bethlehem PA recently and saw deer grazing on the new sprouts right by the roads on Lehigh U’s “mountain” campus–beautiful. Couldn’t help but think of “one shot.” Had forgotten that the movie ends with all the friends reunited, singing “God Bless America.” God bless the good people of Japan, too. May they know… Read more »

Elephant Man
Member
Elephant Man

Here’s an in-depth explanation of what’s going on with those reactors in Japan.

I now present… Nuclear Boy! :em93:

(Hat tip to various posters at The Blogmocracy)

Cricket
Member
Cricket

Well, if Mothra and Godzilla are not going to save Japan, then I am going to quit watching the news. That was the only reason I was breathlessly glued to the screen, was to wait for them, and possibly get their autograph or wingprint or impression…whatever.

Anyway, all mocking aside, I do have a question here. The element they are concerned about isn’t radioactive iodine, it is radioactive cesium. Aside from being a different element, wouldn’t radioactive cesium have a different impact than the iodine? And would potassium iodine be enough?

LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
Member

Yer Majesty, you’re looking at this all wrong. Never let a crisis go to waste. Hey, we’re all evil capitalists here, and you, Yer Majesty, are the most evil. So, buy up a couple of hundred cases of drinking water in the 1/2 liter size, have someone print labels for the bottles saying “Lightwater. Used by reactor operators to help control nuclear reactors”, have some illegal aliens at less than minimum wage remove the original labels and put on the new labels. Then, get some bottles of activated charcoal tablets (some reactors use graphite in their control rods, yes? And,… Read more »

Terrapod
Member
Terrapod

Living exactly in the centerpoint 10 miles from two different Nuke plants, whose operators I have sat at the local bars with getting plastered (pre family man that is) their educashun level, drinking capacity and overall attitudes led me to stock Potassium Iodide pills quite a few years ago. Now if all those idiot sirens that are tested every first tuesday of the month at 1PM sharp (give or take 5 minutes) actually get triggered by a real emergency, say, within the first 10 minutes of a real explosive release of radioactive particles riding on dust, then yes, they will… Read more »

LC HJ Caveman82952
Member

I have three packages of potassium iodine tablets, for a total of thirty tablets.
I cwrtainly need the money, putting it mildly…
So ladies and gentlemen…
What am I bid……?

SoCalOilMan, K.o.E.
Member

Okay Cave…3 packs of 30 = 90 tabs times the fear factor I feel right at this moment…I’ll open the bid at…let me think…if you drive down and give them to me, I’ll by you dinner.

SoCalOilMan, K.o.E.
Member

Crap!!! even when I’m given the answer of an equation I can still screw up a deal. (30 tabs total, I got it :em41: )

But to show good faith…same deal for your stash on hand plus I’ll throw in dinner for any beautiful, strong willed lady you know that might like steak or seafood, her choice.

LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An
Member

I admit that I frequently recommend that friends buy a stockpile of potassium iodide tablets sufficient to protect their loved ones for 2 weeks. No, I have no fear of any effects from Fukushima I’s 6 reactors and storage ponds; at least in this country. I have family in Japan [safe so far in S. Honshu] so I do watch that. Oh, by the way, Fukushima II’s 4 reactors that were widely publicized as being at risk of meltdown for the first few days were made totally safe several days ago. That was not exactly headlined by the MFM. For… Read more »

DarthBane
Member

Want to see something hysterically funny?

Watch the libs at this site trying to mock Ann Coulter for her column yesterday and then compound their stupidity when I start arguing with them as ‘Conan’:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/showthread.php?t=2266097

GamerFromJump
Member
GamerFromJump

Beck had a video where he noted what the Japanese weren’t doing; namely, they weren’t looting or howling for the government to come save them.

I would note that they weren’t attacking people who come to help, unlike some people we could name.

LC Beaker, Imperial Photographer
Member

Okay, I’m pissed. The plume hit my beloved People’s Republic of Kalifornia yesterday, and nothing. I was hoping to at least wake up with superpowers like Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) from the Fantastic Four.

Oh, and guess what I was going to stretch to ridiculous lengths first.

AgTiger
Member

XKCD posted a nice visual block-chart showing the relevant radiation dosages one gets from different sources. It shows how ridiculous the media’s hysterical claims are.

Radiation Dose Chart

LC HJ Caveman82952
Member

Thank You, AgTiger…., I am sharing that link with some chicken littles out here in Kalifornia. If nothing else, maybe they will STFU! I’ve wearied of them. Funny thing is, here in the Central Valley, folks don’t give a shit, this is farm country. We have more pressing concerns.

Tallulah
Member
Tallulah

This is incredible: a video taken aboard a Japanese Coast Guard ship, 3 miles out to sea, as they steamed straight toward, and over, two of the oncoming tsunami waves. You can hear the crew saying [basically], “Oh, shit,” in Japanese.

These things are monsters. And remember, the camera flattens the apparent height of waves.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/8392419/Japan-tsunami-waves-at-sea-footage-captured-by-Coast-Guard.html

LC Jackboot IC/A
Admin

Hey Hey HEY– Just cause y’all got some learning over here, doesn’t mean that suddenly you’re smarter than (a brief moment for our sponsor “Kay Iodide’s Little Tablets- The Hottest Chicks To Invade Your Thyroid In Years”)…. Now back to our program, “The perfectly coiffed Midiots and the drooling retards that believe them”. Why I bet The 360 Bunch (whatever the hell that means) can’t even read the simple log scale on any sort of rad detector. Just don’t forget my lessons of only a few days ago. Even if Subotai thinks he can one-up me somehow. Oh and by… Read more »