…but we’ll be damned if we’re going to be the last blog to report the Nuclear Zombie Apocalypse, whether it actually is going to happen or not because, well, WE NEED OUR CLICKS TO KEEP THE CRAZY AD MONEY ROLLING!
UPDATE: Just saw on Anderson Cooper that radiation levels in the middle of the core of wait, let us look it up so we’ll look more knowledgeable, Fuckushima Daiichi (did we mess up the spelling?) is higher than it was last Thursday, right after tea. MUST CREDIT THE ANTI-IDIOTARIAN ROTTWEILER!!!1!ELEVEN!!! Bury your kids, buy all the Potassium Iodide you can find and, did we mention that, we have a vendor of that critical, CRITICAL supply right on the sidebar.
UPDATE the Second: Oh wait, Anderson was fucking around with a Geiger counter and his wrist watch. But we really don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about, so please don’t quit clicking like a bunch of retarded, spastic hamsters on the link in your Favorites leading here because, you never know… Oh, and in the meantime, BUY SOME FUCKING POTASSIUM IODIDE BECAUSE WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
Update the Third: Or we might be. But best to be safe.
Update the Fourth: Did we just see one of the New Kids on the Block™ on TV stating that they have it on good authority that all of Japan is going to turn into a mushroom cloud tomorrow? Forget about what we said earlier. STOCK UP ON POTASSIUM IODIDE. And hit the tip jar. For the children.
Update the Fifth: It’s official. Or not. But if it is, remember that you saw it here first, right before all of us turn into irradiated zombies and, did we mention this?, tell all of your friends to go to www.nicedoggie.net at least 15 times a minute for their minute-by-minute updates on the impending Japanese Godzilla Holocaust.
Update the Sixth: Shit. We’re still here, aren’t we? Guess the world didn’t end after all. But hey, we never really said that it was going to, did we? We were just doing our Citizen Journalist™ best to keep you up to date even though we don’t know a neutrino from a hole in the ground.
Update the Seventh: Did you remember to buy a lot of potassium iodide? Don’t worry there’s plenty left. DON’T HESITATE, BUY TODAY! MUST CREDIT WWW.NICEDOGGIE.NET.
Update the Eighth: We’ll be back tomorrow with our regularly scheduled mocking of the hysterical, ignorant, main stream media who are SO unlike us.
Which is one of the safer things he’s been fucking around with.
And I’m more worried about Zion and Braidwood, but that’s just me.
You’re doin’ it wrong, Imperator! The site’s really address is http://nicedoggie.net, NOT http://www.nicedoggie.net. Oh, and I eat way too much iodized salt, so I’m good to go and won’t be needin’ to stock up on the tablets. Mushrooms do sound tasty, wrapped up in a nice omelet. I’ve got some baby Bellas in the fridge, too… Man, all of this… Read more »
I’m sure a meme that Bushzilla is to blame will be coming down the pike any day now…..
Personally, I blame King-Obamorah.
Okay, I’ve looked and scrolled up and down the damn sidebars and I can’t find the potassium iodide vendor anywhere. You gotta help a guy out here, I’m desperate!!! Driving home from work this morning they announced that the radioactive plume has hit Kalifornia and it’s only 1000 times below the minimum limit. I haven’t found any potassium iodide anywhere… Read more »
I honestly did not know who Kate Middleton was until I looked it up.
My Give-A-Shit meter pegged at zero.
Braidwood is a lot closer than Fuckushima Daiichi.
I am appalled and dismayed by the ignorance displayed by the American public and the panic fomented by the mainstream media. I had to walk away, couldn’t stomach watching the news any more. Why, you may ask? This radiation scare, folks panicking over potassium iodine pills. God help us if a true disaster hits, seems the average American couldn’t boil… Read more »
lc purple raider says:
The dress she isn’t going to be wearing, the one that drew the attention of the Prince, is easy to guess being she just sold it for $125,871 (I beleive it cost $30 to make).
I still don’t know who Kate Middleton is. But I am shocked, shocked I say that the Emperor watches Anderson Cooper. I can provide ECT if needed to cure you.
Imagine how surprised I am to learn that the Lamestream Media is hyping an incident to improve their ratings.
Why, that’s never happened before, eh?
-Jim+
Heard a major network news reporter (wasn’t paying enough attention to know which one–definitely not AC–don’t do CNselloutN at all) say the Fuckdshitter reactors had to be cooled or they would EXPLODE!!! After a brief chuckle, hit the off switch and fired up The Deer Hunter. Visited Bethlehem PA recently and saw deer grazing on the new sprouts right by… Read more »
Here’s an in-depth explanation of what’s going on with those reactors in Japan.
I now present… Nuclear Boy!
(Hat tip to various posters at The Blogmocracy)
Well, if Mothra and Godzilla are not going to save Japan, then I am going to quit watching the news. That was the only reason I was breathlessly glued to the screen, was to wait for them, and possibly get their autograph or wingprint or impression…whatever. Anyway, all mocking aside, I do have a question here. The element they are… Read more »
Yer Majesty, you’re looking at this all wrong. Never let a crisis go to waste. Hey, we’re all evil capitalists here, and you, Yer Majesty, are the most evil. So, buy up a couple of hundred cases of drinking water in the 1/2 liter size, have someone print labels for the bottles saying “Lightwater. Used by reactor operators to help… Read more »
Living exactly in the centerpoint 10 miles from two different Nuke plants, whose operators I have sat at the local bars with getting plastered (pre family man that is) their educashun level, drinking capacity and overall attitudes led me to stock Potassium Iodide pills quite a few years ago. Now if all those idiot sirens that are tested every first… Read more »
I have three packages of potassium iodine tablets, for a total of thirty tablets.
I cwrtainly need the money, putting it mildly…
So ladies and gentlemen…
What am I bid……?
Okay Cave…3 packs of 30 = 90 tabs times the fear factor I feel right at this moment…I’ll open the bid at…let me think…if you drive down and give them to me, I’ll by you dinner.
Crap!!! even when I’m given the answer of an equation I can still screw up a deal. (30 tabs total, I got it
)
But to show good faith…same deal for your stash on hand plus I’ll throw in dinner for any beautiful, strong willed lady you know that might like steak or seafood, her choice.
I admit that I frequently recommend that friends buy a stockpile of potassium iodide tablets sufficient to protect their loved ones for 2 weeks. No, I have no fear of any effects from Fukushima I’s 6 reactors and storage ponds; at least in this country. I have family in Japan [safe so far in S. Honshu] so I do watch… Read more »
Want to see something hysterically funny?
Watch the libs at this site trying to mock Ann Coulter for her column yesterday and then compound their stupidity when I start arguing with them as ‘Conan’:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/showthread.php?t=2266097
Beck had a video where he noted what the Japanese weren’t doing; namely, they weren’t looting or howling for the government to come save them.
I would note that they weren’t attacking people who come to help, unlike some people we could name.
Okay, I’m pissed. The plume hit my beloved People’s Republic of Kalifornia yesterday, and nothing. I was hoping to at least wake up with superpowers like Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) from the Fantastic Four.
Oh, and guess what I was going to stretch to ridiculous lengths first.
XKCD posted a nice visual block-chart showing the relevant radiation dosages one gets from different sources. It shows how ridiculous the media’s hysterical claims are.
Radiation Dose Chart
Thank You, AgTiger…., I am sharing that link with some chicken littles out here in Kalifornia. If nothing else, maybe they will STFU! I’ve wearied of them. Funny thing is, here in the Central Valley, folks don’t give a shit, this is farm country. We have more pressing concerns.
This is incredible: a video taken aboard a Japanese Coast Guard ship, 3 miles out to sea, as they steamed straight toward, and over, two of the oncoming tsunami waves. You can hear the crew saying [basically], “Oh, shit,” in Japanese.
These things are monsters. And remember, the camera flattens the apparent height of waves.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/8392419/Japan-tsunami-waves-at-sea-footage-captured-by-Coast-Guard.html
Hey Hey HEY– Just cause y’all got some learning over here, doesn’t mean that suddenly you’re smarter than (a brief moment for our sponsor “Kay Iodide’s Little Tablets- The Hottest Chicks To Invade Your Thyroid In Years”)…. Now back to our program, “The perfectly coiffed Midiots and the drooling retards that believe them”. Why I bet The 360 Bunch (whatever… Read more »