In which I wax long-winded, because that’s what I do, so I’ve taken the liberty of burying the rest under the fold.
I just need a little break.
As I was poised to jot out yet another long, angry post about this that or the other, in this case the lying ass media and their continued stubborn refusal to ask Obam-bam any questions more pointed than “how can you stand being so awesome?” and “may we fondle your nuts, please? Just a bit?”, it struck me that I wasn’t having fun. I mean, actual fun as in “can’t wait to unleash this one” and “what derogatory term can I alliterate with cocktastically?”
Then I got to thinking about that, and it occurred to me that I couldn’t really remember the last time I was having fun like that without going a loooong way back. Because I used to have that sort of fun all the time. Heck, just putting my fingers on the keyboard used to put a dumbass grin on my face. A grin with a touch of endless evil mirth, of course. But all I seemed to be anymore was pissed off and annoyed, and it seemed like I had been for a long time.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we should all sit down and sing kumbaya in perfect harmony, there is plenty to be pissed off, angry, concerned about and annoyed by. If you’re not angry at what is going on, you’re not paying attention.
What I am saying is that I used to be able to take the piss out of stuff and have fun doing it, and in spite of the unmitigated, endless horrors of the last four years, it’s not like there never was an opportunity to be pissed off during the seven years prior to that. Yet back in those days my posts, at least as I recall, were made up of a mixture of snark, sarcasm, ridiculously excessive hyperbole, swearing in cuss words hitherto unknown to the English language, cheap jokes, laughs, the occasional mention of the word “boob” and, yes, fun.
My online alter ego (unlike my real life version who, as those of you I’ve met know, is about as goofy, laid-back, calm and completely unable to stop quoting Monty Python as you’re likely to meet) had turned into one endless, infinite vortex of Eternally Pissed Off™. Yes, the point of my posting has always been letting that part of me out that never ever would find expression in real life, aka venting, and crank it up to eleven. But that part isn’t and never was all angry, all the time. No matter how infuriating the situation is, sometimes you gotta crack a joke because, heck, if you don’t then it all just so very tiring and not at all fun in any way.
And that takes energy away from other stuff that’s more important than stroking my own ego, stuff that, right now, requires my utmost attention. Which may also have something to do with why I’m suddenly all introspective and stuff. It’ll all work out, I hope, with enough prayers, a bit of luck, G-d willing and perhaps a touch of divine intervention, it’s not like I’ve just been told I have two weeks to live or anything horrid like that, but I need to focus on the real me for a bit, and I can’t do that if I’m just being pissed off all the time.
But relax, no drama, I suck at drama anyway, I’m not leaving the Internets for-evah and turning off the lights in a huff of self-pity, I just very badly need a breather and to find my bearings. Reset, recalibrate and adjust so I can find my happy place again. And then I’ll most assuredly be back, full of piss and vinegar, snark, ridiculously exaggerated hyperbole and, most importantly, FUN.
Because even though we live in very serious times, this cannot be said often enough, that’s no reason that we should completely lose our ability to come up with a ridiculous pun or make an ugly ass face every once in a while. I’ll still be around, just stepping back for a bit so I can deal with other stuff.
See you soon.