Fuck You, Gentry GOP and “Pragmatic Conservatives”

Because we just can’t quit talking about it. Well, we could, but if you insist, then we’ll keep giving you a piece of our mind.

Since y’all are pouring on the hate for Mike Fuckabee, and we suppose that even the dimmest of you twats might be able to surmise from the moniker we chose for him that he’s not exactly our Messiah, for pointing out that us SoCons are beginning to be a little bit fed up with being the reliable idiots that you can trot out for elections as long as we keep our hayseed mouthes shut in public, we’d like to pour some right back on your pig ignorant arses.

As a matter of fact, the treatment we’ve been given for daring to actually express what we’ve never tried to hide that we believe in, we’re beginning to feel a lot of sympathy for the frustration expressed by people who voted for Ron Paul in the primaries, and L-rd knows that we’re not even remotely in agreement with him on issues beyond our borders. But we, unlike you overseers of the Gentry GOP plantation, recognize that Ron Paul voters are our allies in a lot more ways than they’re our enemies on specific issues, so we respect their right to be heard, just as we’d like to not be treated like useful idiots as long as we keep picking our cotton quota.

Sure, we’re good enough for you in the voting booth, as long as we keep our big fat lips closed together while you’re busy trying to think up ways you can surrender to the liberal fascist agenda in hopes that you’ll get the New York Times to like you better.

Speaking of which: How’s your knee-capping of a GOP candidate for Senate in order to better comply with the liberal fascist dictum of “never speak ill of infanticide” working out for you? How’s executing him in public for saying exactly what he’d always been saying, only he said it at an “inopportune” moment working out? Have you gotten rave reviews from the New York Times for your “stand on principle” yet? Has Maureen Dowd written a 10,000 word essay on her admiration for GOP “centrism” yet? Has Chris “Maker’s Mark” Matthews gotten tingles down his legs as a result yet? Don’t worry. We’re sure they’re working on it and then, THEN you’ll finally capture that elusive 1.7% swing voters who seem to be the only ones you give a shit about in public.

Of course, you’ll also have pissed off an enormous demographic who are getting increasingly sick and tired of being treated like the plantation niggers that you always make fun of when they vote Democrat in spite of taking it up the arse as a result of the racist National Socialist Democratic Slave Owner Party. But who cares? The DNCMedia have decided for you what’s acceptable, and by G-d you’re not going to deviate from that playbook! For the Country!!!

Do you really, really think that’s going to work? And do you really think that your strategy of “blaming it all on the ChristoFascist SoCons” when it blows up in your ever so “inclusive” (inclusive meaning “not allowing anybody to say anything that might upset a liberal fascist”) faces is going to work?

Listen: We don’t ask you to agree with us. All we ask is that you live up to your own “big tent” standards and accept that we can be on the same side and still disagree. All we ask is that you kindly refrain from unloading a 12 gauge in our faces when we dare speak our mind, the mind that we’ve never tried to hide. That you don’t treat us like the retarded, paint-huffing cousin from Kentucky every time we happen to say something that doesn’t fit your narrative of appeasing the insatiable liberal fascist faux outrage anger gods.

Here’s how we do it on this site: We’re a Christian, we make no excuses for it, yet you won’t find us suddenly deleting anybody’s account for not believing that Jesus Christ is our Savior. We have Pagans, Atheists, Protestants, Catholics, Jews, we even used to have Muslims posting here, yet we never, not once considered kicking anybody out because they didn’t happen to believe in our particular dogma. Because we realize that friends, allies, don’t have to agree on every single damn fucking thing to still be friends and allies.

Granted, we won’t be asked to appear on FOX and friends, we’re sure as fuck not getting any assistance from the mythical Right Wing Conspiracy, we’re running the whole show on whatever shekels we can scrape out from under the sofa cushions, but at least everybody knows where they have us, they know what we stand for and they know that we’ll always have their backs no matter what the latest D+37 skewed PPP poll says that we ought to think.

We can live with that.

We couldn’t live with the alternative.

We know where we stand, and we’re not yielding an inch, even if it makes us less likely to be voted homecoming queen at the Gentry GOP prom. And we sure as fuck don’t expect our readers to yield an inch either. Why would they? We surely hope that they came here in part because they knew that they wouldn’t be pissed on with Party Catechism and “let’s all agree to the terms that our enemies have set down in stone.”

But if you pearl-clutching, hyperventilating cunts of the Gentry GOP keep pissing on us every time we open our mouthes, then you’re about to go the way of the Whigs.

Surrendering to the enemy’s narrative, letting your enemy define the battlefield is NOT a way to win a war.

It’s the way we got into the shit we’re currently in.

If you media-hungry “let’s make this a living” whores think that’s the way to go, then keep sucking that cock. Just don’t expect us to join you. And don’t expect our support this year to be a given, because it’s the last fucking time you’re going to get it.

Thatisall.