OHNOES! They Grounded Uncle Choo-Choo!

And His Imperial Majesty’s dismay is not in the least bit faked, as he was looking forward to a long weekend of Joe “One Heartbeat Away From the Presidency” Choo-Choo opening his senile, demented yap, offering us even more comedy gold than he has already bestowed upon our unworthy self.

But, alas, it was not to be

:Vice President Joe Biden is going home to Delaware.

The updated White House calendar for Aug. 17 reports that “in the morning, the Vice President will meet with senior advisers. Later, the Vice President will be in Wilmington, Delaware.”

“There are no public events scheduled,” said the 5:36 p.m. White House announcement, titled “Daily Guidance for the Vice President.”

Biden’s retreat home during the increasingly frenetic 2012 race comes amid increased criticism for his campaign-trail performance.

For the sake of Jove, quit criticizing the man! Keep it up and he may just be kicked from the ticket rather than sent back to the nursery home to think about what he’s done while slurping his oatmeal and clacking his dentures, and where would that leave us in the comic relief department???

Although we do have to admit that it’s hard not to let a few criticisms slip when he, all in the same day, manages to miss which state he’s in, which century he’s in and, to top it all off, tell a largely black audience this, while speaking about the GOP (and we’re just quoting him as well as how he said it): “Dey gon’ put y’all back in chains!”

Yes, we were sorely tempted to dress up that quote a bit extra along the lines of “…an’ den dem dere white folk will send y’all back to massah and tell da ovahseah to lay it on thick wif da wip on y’all’s backsides”, but why try to gild a three-headed monkey when the original is already ridiculous enough? Nothing quite as unintentionally hilarious as a white-as-grits Delaware yankee trying to put on Southern patois for the crowds. Actually, there is, come to think of it. His Imperial Majesty trying to do the same thing with a British accent, which is exactly why we only ever tried it once, but we digress.

Poor Uncle Choo-Choo, sent home and grounded.

Pretty soon we’ll be able to dust off this old song, slightly updated of course (apologies to the great Tom Lehrer):

Whatever became of Choo-Choo?
Has anyone heard a thing?
Once he shone on his own,
Now he sits home alone,
And waits for the phone to ring.

Once a fiery liberal spirit,
Ah, but now when he speaks he must clear it.
Second fiddle’s a hard part I know,
When they won’t even give you a bow.

Poor old Unca Choo-Choo. Sent to the corner where he’s now standing alone and dejected, clutching his dunce cap while big, salty tears of rejection roll down his sagging jowls. And, what’s worse, leaving the rest of us without the comedy gold that he can always be counted upon to provide whenever he tries to form a sentence!

FREE UNCLE CHOO-CHOO!

NO CHOO-CHOO, NO PEACE!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thatisall.

19 comments

  1. 1
    midazian growls and barks:

    Sire,

    The funny thing is Odumshit is stuck with a choice of worse or worse. If he replaces choo choo then it was Sarah Palin that first suggested it so he looks like he is caving in to her. If he keeps choo choo well then let the mocking continue.

    It’s Morton’s fork for obumbles and I for one find it schadenfreudalicious!

  2. 2
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    Later, the Vice President will be in Wilmington, Delaware.”

    Where he will address the turnpike toll booth crowd with a boisterous “Rock on, Cleveland! Let party like it’s 1899 and take the last train to Pottsville!!!”

  3. 3
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    midazian says:

    Sire,

    The funny thing is Odumshit is stuck with a choice of worse or worse. If he replaces choo choo then it was Sarah Palin that first suggested it so he looks like he is caving in to her. If he keeps choo choo well then let the mocking continue.

    It’s Morton’s fork for obumbles and I for one find it schadenfreudalicious!

    It is, indeed, all that you say.

    Of course, first off, we all know that Obungles is the first bipedal life form to learn how to lick his own balls (he may have learned it from the dogs that he ate) so he’s fundamentally incapable of admitting error, but we’ve also heard that his staffers actually floated the idea to Hillary but she turned it down.

    Predictably, because there is no way in Hades that Hillary would want to tie her political future to a shipwreck like Obungle and his Junta, but the fact that she turned it down (if the stories are true) only goes to show how delusional the freaks in the Ogabe Steno Pool who still try to pretend that he might win in November are.

    No, this is no time to become complacent and start pretending that we’ve already won, we have to keep fighting as hard as ever because failure is NOT AN OPTION, but I certainly think that it’s time to be at least cautiously optimistic.

    We’ll win this thing, and we’ll win it in ways that will make liberal fascist pundits spend a year mumbling “I just don’t understand!. None of my friends voted for that Mitt person!”

    Just like they did in 1980.
    Emperor Misha I recently posted..Formerly “Great” Britain Slouching Further Into DhimmitudeMy Profile

  4. 4
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    Ol’ Joe is the least incompetent, and the least unqualified official in this maladministration. Even if he thought his dad was a Welsh coalminer back in 1988, at least Joe has a birth certificate, a Delaware Social Number, a draft card, and school transcripts. We know who Ol’ Joe is!

    And COOTUS is at least clever enough to realize that if he puts Hildebeeste in the succession seat, he will be making a quick inspection of Fort Marcy Park.

  5. 5
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Joe Biden’s gaffes are actually a cunning plan. He is actually hyper intelligent. He is just doing all this to make Obama look good. Just wait for the first debate with Ryan.
    :em03:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..We need a smart VPMy Profile

  6. 6
    The Watcher growls and barks:

    Joe had to be shipped back to Delaware – every time he was out in public, Obama was curled in the fetal position on the floor of the Oval Office, mumbling, ‘Oh, Allah, please don’t let Joe speak’ around the thumb in his mouth.

  7. 7
    Cougar1978 growls and barks:

    Ochimpo asked Hillary to be Vice President…..

    Hillary says NO to VP slot….

    I think, even Clinton sees a sinking ship at this point.

  8. 8
    Mattexian growls and barks:

    I was thinking that maybe Choo-choo’s last batch of hair plugs might have been bored a bit too deeply into his skull.

    angrywebmaster says:

    Joe Biden’s gaffes are actually a cunning plan. He is actually hyper intelligent. He is just doing all this to make Obama look good. Just wait for the first debate with Ryan.

    Could be… reminds me of a SNL skit leading up to the second of the Bush-Gore debates, where the moderator commented that someone looked to have been heavily coached, and someone else looked to be heavily medicated!
    Mattexian recently posted..National Ammo Day, 2011!My Profile

  9. 9
    Library Czar growls and barks:

    Of course, first off, we all know that Obungles is the first bipedal life form to learn how to lick his own balls (he may have learned it from the dogs that he ate) so he’s fundamentally incapable of admitting error, but we’ve also heard that his staffers actually floated the idea to Hillary but she turned it down.

    He only gets to lick them when moochelle takes them out of her lock box.

  10. 10
    LC SecondMouse growls and barks:

    I think they sent him home to start his debate prep now, in the campaign’s vain hope that he could somehow avoid being absolutely humiliated by Ryan in front of millions of prospective voters.

    The only proper thing to do is to kick Ol’ Joe while he is down. And kick him hard enough that it shows up in the Rasmussen Polls on Monday.

    No news coverage of Blunderin’ Biden will make the weekend pretty boring.

  11. 11
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    Ryan vs. Biden

    Tsunami vs. Parking Garage

    Jack Jumper ants vs. Huntsman Spider.

    Daniel Webster vs. Gloria Allred :em05:

  12. 12
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    > Davy Jones of the 60′s group “The Monkeys”
    >
    > died February 29, 2012 at age 69.
    >
    > The news paper headlines read,
    >
    > “The Lead Monkey is dead!”
    >
    > When Joe Biden read the paper,
    >
    > he ran around the White House yelling…
    >
    > “I’m the president, I’m the president!”
    >
    > I can only imagine his disappointment.

  13. 13
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    “NO MORE DOPE AND CHAINS “!

  14. 14
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    LC Gladiator says:

    > Davy Jones of the 60?s group “The Monkees”
    >
    > died February 29, 2012 at age 69.
    >
    > The news paper headlines read,
    >
    > “The Lead Monkey is dead!”
    >
    > When Joe Biden read the paper,
    >
    > he ran around the White House yelling…
    >
    > “I’m the president, I’m the president!”
    >
    > I can only imagine his disappointment.

    :em05: :em05: :em05: :em05:
    And I fixed the spelling of “Monkees. God knows if i spelled it wrong my mom would shit a brick. Then she’d beat me with it.

  15. 15
    rickn8or growls and barks:

    Nothing quite as unintentionally hilarious as a white-as-grits Delaware yankee trying to put on Southern patois for the crowds.

    By “hilarious” did you perhaps mean “irritating as a garden trowel on a chalkboard to the average Southern ear”?

    And maybe Slow Joe has gone home to engineer more of this shit.

    I’m worried about his health myself; it would be a real tragedy awfully convenient if he were to have a stroke or something this weekend.

  16. 16
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Being a Biden aide would be like being the guy with the shovel who walks behind the elephants in a parade. Except when the aides try to clean up after Biden, the mess is nastier.

    A lot of lefties are trying to say, with a straight face, “The Ryan pick was terrible.” Really?

    One Vice Presidential candidate is on the trail this weekend before thousands of cheering voters who wait in line for hours just to be near him, to listen to him, to tell him “We will follow you,” and to be a part of the experience.

    The other is at home in Delaware with duct tape over his pie hole.

    Guess which is which.

    Biden’s new slogan “Chains you can believe in”

  17. 17
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Biden’s ‘good friend,’ donor receives $20M federal loan to open foreign luxury car dealership in Ukraine

    In late July, John Hynansky — a longtime friend of Vice President Joe Biden, and a major donor to Biden’s campaigns as well as President Barack Obama’s — was awarded a $20 million taxpayer loan to build a foreign-car dealership in Ukraine.

    According to a public summary document, the loan, from the federal government’s Overseas Private Investment Corporation, is for “[u]p to $20.0 million,” and is designed to “expand Winner Import Ukraine’s automobile business, [and] construct and operate ‘Winner Autocity,’ which will have two new, state-of-the-art dealership facilities for Porsche and Land Rover/Jaguar automobiles.”

    Porsche is a German-made luxury and sports car, and Jaguar Land Rover is a British luxury and sports car company owned by an Indian subsidiary.

    Under “U.S. Economic Impact,” the summary document says, “This project will have a positive developmental impact on the host country, Ukraine. The project will generate a significant number of new local jobs. Running a dealership for premium automobile brands requires a highly trained sales force, mechanics, accountants, communications and advertising specialists, IT specialists, service personnel, warehouse managers, and customer relations specialists.”

    Along with his family, Hynansky also owns car dealerships in Pennsylvania and Biden’s home state of Delaware.

    Since at least 1999, Hynansky and his family have been regular donors to Biden’s campaigns, and, later, Obama’s. John Hynansky has donated $7,690 to a combination of Biden’s Senate campaigns and failed presidential campaign; Michael Hynansky donated $7,690; Alexandra Hynansky donated $7,280; Deanne Hynansky donated $4,645; and Susan Hynansky donated $1,000 — coming to a total family donation of $28,715.

    During Obama’s 2008 run for president, John Hynansky gave $30,800 to the Obama Victory Fund; Alexandra Hynansky gave $2,550; and Deanne Hynansky gave $2,000 — totaling $35,350 to that campaign.

    Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2012/08/17/bidens-good-friend-donor-receives-20m-federal-loan/#ixzz23vLQwQk3

  18. 18
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    QUOTE OF THE DAY

    “There’s no reason for concern about me, or to throw me off the ticket. I’m fully prepared, should it ever become necessary, to serve as prime minister.”

    - Vice President Joe Biden

  19. 19
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Obama chooses Biden for his VP. Romney picks Ryan for his VP. Which man has shown the better judgement to be President?????