Speech? SPEECH?
Which forces us to ask the question: Can something that is typed be a speech?
Never mind.
Four score and eleventy-million-something page visits ago, His Imperial Majesty was sitting around wondering how best to offend the largest number of idiots with the least amount of effort. Needless to say, we’d already discovered the potential in the Interwebtubes for doing just such a thing, and many happy months, indeed years, were spent ticking people off royally on USENet for no apparent reason other than it being so very enjoyable. We simply cannot abide Idiotarians, and we find it highly offensive that we seem to have to share space on the planet with them, but their salty tears of frustration when they’re taunted into sputtering rage brings us great comfort.
And the “alt.” hierarchy of USENet, the “null-sec” version of USENet as one might describe it to people who play EVE Online, is nothing if not a massive breeding ground for Idiotarians.
So we had much fun taunting idiots who violated the 11th commandment (Thou Shalt Not Take Thyself Too Seriously), honing our skills by picking fights with flamers far more experienced than ourself (and having your arse handed to us on numerous occasions until we learned the craft), but it left us feeling still empty, without true purpose, longing to unleash our disdain for sub-plant IQs upon the general population. Problem was, as much as we knew that they existed, they didn’t really have hives of idiocy that you could haunt and defile out there on the General Internet.
Then 9/11 happened and they started popping up all over. Emboldened by this vile act of war, they started setting up websites everywhere so they could preach their relativistic “why do they hate us?” balderdash, their inane and deeply offensive attempts to blame America first for everything and other offenses against common sense and good taste too numerous to count. In other words: They painted big, glowing bullseyes on their backs and set themselves up in public view for us to shoot at.
Recognizing an opportunity to finally piss off somebody that richly deserved to be insulted, we started hitting them whenever they were daft enough to allow comments, and we had much fun doing that. Few things are more satisfying than walking into some liberal asshat’s living room, shitting on the carpet and then making them clean the mess up with their tongues as you unleash the flaming powers taught to you by USENet legends on their unworthy arses. All that while striking a blow for the nation that you love and kicking in the nuts the one subset of Idiotarians that we hate more that hate itself: Socialists.
Ah, purpose! Glorious purpose. Using your Sith powers for good and watching the pansy socialist, terrorist-loving, America-hating pansies cry in their Ovaltine.
But obviously it, too, had its limitation. For one thing, the cretins finally discovered that they could delete comments. Not until they had been humiliated in public, but still the sheer magnitude of their humiliation existed only in the memories of those who had witnessed it. Granted, some of the people owning those memories happened to be pretty big names in the then-burgeoning and as of yet unnamed (Bill Quick named it) BlogoSphere, James Lileks to name one, but still. Our monuments, like Ozymandias’, were disappearing.
The only obvious next step was to create a site of our own, so we did. We did, expecting it to amount to a barely discernible amount of sound and fury, signifying less than nothing since we would have to rely on somebody to actually click on by to read it. But still we did it. If nothing else, then we could at least get a few hundred visits by hitting refresh every couple of hours or so. Heck, if we had to cajole our immediate family into visiting it, then so be it. But we never expected it to become much of anything. Just a place we could call our own while we plied our trade of trawling the InterTubes looking for targets we could lay down a fire for effect on.
Besides, and perhaps much more importantly, we needed a place where we could put up our thoughts, vent our anger, lay waste to the enemies of the greatest nation that ever existed and be sure that it would always stay up there. We just never thought that anybody but ourself would read it.
Boy, were we ever wrong.
Suddenly the site meter started ticking. At first slowly, but then picking up speed as the Internet worked its wonders.
Where we’d previously thought that we were pretty much alone in our furious, white-hot anger at everything and everybody trying to bring down our new home to the lows we’d hoped we’d escaped, we suddenly learned that we were anything but. There were literally thousands of us, and we were lucky enough to be part of that first burst that brought Unapologetic Americanism forth into the public square, the Old Guard of the Blogosphere that we only happened to become part of as a pure accident.
Everything started back then, and we were lucky enough to be part of it. What’s more important, much much more important, we suddenly to know people from all over this nation that we would have never known otherwise, people that are now among our best friends, and we got to be part of a network, a family of Rotties who will never, ever be alone.
Screw the site meter. THAT’S what’s really important. Sure, it’s nice being able to tell our grandkids that we were part of the Original Old Guard of the Conservative BlogoSphere, we’re proud of it, but what really counts is that we, purely through accident, happened to build a network that will outlast ourself. Scratch that bullshit. We didn’t build it. YOU did. ALL of you. We just plugged in some HTML on a domain name we’d purchased. Any idiot can do that (and our idiot initial code until several somebodies who knew how to write it helped us out proves it). But we were part of it.
Part of it. That’s what we’ve been realizing over the years. This is truly bigger than anything we ever did now, bigger than the sum of its parts.
We’ve seen pictures of Rotties wearing our T-shirts all over the country and outside the country too, including Iraq, just to name one place. We’ve been quoted on the radio, in magazines and on TV, and none of all of this would have happened without you. This site has become, and we don’t claim credit for that in the slightest, part of the conservative, proud American movement of the 21st century, and to have even been close to that happening is the greatest thing we ever accomplished.
A dumb immigrant from a furrein country the size of a postage stamp.
So thanks, all of you. Thanks for what we have built together, thanks for your support, thanks for all of the good times past and the good times ahead of us, thanks for giving me a purpose, a voice and a home away from home.
I didn’t build this.
WE did.
Thatisall.
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Three cheers for Darth Misha & his Blog of Doom! And–foist…
We may have built it, but you laid the foundation upon which this house of reason was built.
My site, Anger Central has been around in one form or another for a good 15 years. It’s only in the last 4-5 that I activated a blog on it so I could rant to the high heavens. (The main site is for everyone else)
In my case, I know for a fact that my site has gotten at least two women out of really bad, possibly dangerous situations. (I hate wife beaters)
I don’t have your way with words, but we are much better off with you than without you.
Have one of these< on the SCoaMF.
angrywebmaster recently posted..Like to grill burgers? Get ready to pay big bucks
Congrats! And thanks for being here.
*Raises Beer to toast* ( I know it’s 7:30 am it’s a fake beer)
To the Great and Glorious wielder of The Cluebat-O-Doom,
Just wanna say thanks for having a place for us mutts to come to laugh, get pissed off,look at Gun pr0n, hurl insults at DJ ,( we still love ya man)and Muzzy and Duke Our resident ignorant sluts ( we don’t love you two dickholes)
So here’s to ANOTHER ELEVENTY MILLION !!!1!!11 and wishing to one day to meet a few more of the Rotties for a beer.
Still waiting on my keys to the liquor cabinet
Congrats on the site !!
Bravo! Bravo!
Now that was a speech! Not some inane platitudes like that crap that was delivered at the Illinois State Fair yesterday. During my long winded governor’s speech, who can take a yes or no question and create the complete works of the Library of Congress, his own base- union workers- shouted him down.
“The boos were so loud, reporters couldn’t hear what Quinn was saying into the microphone. A plane overhead trailed a banner that said, “Gov Quinn — Unfair to workers.”
Nevertheless, Quinn carried on with his speech.”
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
(0:55)
Quinn is giving Joe “girdyerloins” Biden a run for his money for Idiotarian of the year.
There were even shouts of “Bring back Governor Hair.”
I swear, the only thing better than a good Conservative speech is a laughable democrat implosion.
I remind y’all:
Eleven million in eleven years! Woot!
My liege,
I have been reading your site since at least 2003 but have never posted. However I wanted to thank you for all that you do. Because of you I was introduced to all sorts of information. Your blogroll was quite helpful. It introduced me to Bill Whittle and Kim du Toit among others.
So thank you sir and all of the other rotties out there. You have a friend here in Georgia.
Go ahead an brag, my Liege, 11M ain’t nothin’ to sneeze at.
You can write all the fancy HTML and Javascript in the world, but if your content is crap, nobody will come.
Ahh, the good old days of the early 2000s. Joe Dromedary, Elephant Man, Lord Spatula I King and Tyrant, et al. I came here from Rachel Lucas’ site. It was there that I first saw Your Majesty, in pictures from when You, her, and was that Kim du Toit? got together. I don’t remember for sure. I went from here to Kim’s site, Frnak J’s, and when Rachel finally talked Bill into blogging, to Eject X 3.
But I always come here. Maybe that’s because I’m Special
Ed
You can thank Bill Whittle for my coming here. I saw this place on the sidebar, came, and stayed. I don’t really hang out anywhere else. I plead permanent insanity, your honor!
midazian says:
Well, now that you have Midazian, don’t be such a stranger!
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..In Other NOT NEWS!, Obama Still Eats Dogs
I still have the original Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler shirt you sent me years ago. It is pretty tattered now, given the fact that I still wear it on a regular basis — in fact I have it on right now at work.
I think that it is high time that you re-issue the original version of the shirt again, so I can retire the old one.
Besides, you have a LOT more readers here now than you did back then. I am sure that you would make out quite nicely if you were to re-start your line of Rott-Swag.
I can even see the slogan on the back saying “Eleventy Million Can’t Be Wrong”
DJ Allyn @ #12:
Enthusiastically seconded!
Whatever became of Sig94?
The DJer sez:
I do believe, lads, there is a bit of Capitalism deep within our very own DJ just waiting to effervesce… just a few million more and he’ll give up The Internationale for I’ve been working on the Railroad.
Congratulations, your Majesty.
I’ve been reading for years, but I only post occasionally, Still, I check the Rott every day.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I’m not at all against restarting the Rott-swag line, but I’d either have to convince Doug that it’d be a good investment to start ‘em up again or find somebody else to make ‘em.
Still, it’s worth looking into.
Here’s to many more years of the Rott and its Pups!
Emperor Misha I recently posted..Another Brother in need of Prayers
http://signal94.blogspot.com/
L.C. Mope says:
I have nothing against capitalism. I have owned and operated several of them over the years and still do. I do however have a problem with unregulated capitalism. Without rules, you end up with a few people controlling everything.
I think that the argument is on how many rules we need to have. Some don’t want any, and others want too many. There has to be enough rules to protect everyone and not make it impossible to operate a business to earn a profit.
But I don’t intend to argue any of that here and now. There isn’t ANYONE here who is in the position to run a corporation and make the kind of money that I have a problem with.
Emperor Misha I says:
Well, there is always Cafepress if you aren’t looking to invest money up front. You don’t really have to do anything other than submit the artwork and let it go. (of course you probably wouldn’t rake in as much as you’d like…)
Your Awesomeness, my finger is poised over the PayPal button awaiting the arrival of the Rottie Shirt. Just sayin…
And I have to reluctantly agree with Deej on the unrelugated capitalism thing…but unregulated ANYTHING sucks pretty badly too. Whether it’s laws and courts or duels challenged when you feel cheated, there needs to be some recourse to the sharpies.
Frankly, I prefer the duel thing. Legally killing one or two business cheaters would discourage the others. Of course, I enjoy Michael Z. Williamson’s “Freehold”, too.
Bro, I’m so proud of you! I discovered this site while I was deployed, and you guys kept me sane over there (along with a short list of others). And I can’t tell you how much I’ve appreciated you over the years!
My little site only gets a few hundred visitors per day, so 11,000,000 is a pretty huge accomplishment in my eyes. Hell, that’s more than many nations spend on their defenses per year!
So congrats, moy dorogoy bratik. May there be millions more.
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..Inexcusable leaks
Mark12A says:
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..Inexcusable leaks
? I’m too sexy for my shirt…?
Mark12A says:
I don’t believe in OVER-regulation either. There has to be a happy medium where people and business are protected, but doesn’t hinder the normal course of commerce. “Let the market decide” looks real good on paper, until that market becomes a monopoly.
We argue about the Liberal / Conservative media without taking into consideration that it is neither. Nor do we take into consideration that the media of yesterday, which was made up of thousands of independent family companies, is now basically owned by six large mega-corporations with intertwining ownership interests. That is what happens when communications gets deregulated and an entire industry is bought up by a handful of people. In the case of the media, you get no more competition and just one message. (I blame Bill Clinton for that)
But that is just one industry that I’m using as an example. There are many others — like banking — that are quickly heading that way. We are in another Gilded Age, and it is on steroids. The Republicans are crazy and the Democrats are useless — just like it was during the last one.
May we live in interesting times indeed…
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch says:
Hey, I can’t post on your site anymore. Help!
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch says:
Spasibo, dorogaya sestrichka moya! A buck for every hit and I’d be retired by now. Heck, a dime for every one. But I got something much better than that!
Emperor Misha I recently posted..Formerly “Great” Britain Slouching Further Into Dhimmitude
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch @ #:
Post more cute puppy pics
, preferable pissing on the Pisslamists bible
To back up what I said at #6 supra:
Oh that’ll leave a mark.
Looks like someone else is seeing what I’m seeing.
.
Go read the whole thing. Show my friend Marathon some Rottie love.