In Other Completely Predictable News: Debbie Wasserkopf Polly-Want-A-Cracker is an Idiot

Yes, we know. Floored you with that one, didn’t we? The arguably single most stupid talking head moron DNC Chair in the history of the DNC once again proves that the only introduction she’s ever had to her brain was when she sneezed it out during what she thought was merely a bad sinus infection.

“Soledad, of course I know the Priorities USA super PAC is a Democratic-affiliated super PAC,” Wasserman Schultz said.

This the day after she said, and we know that we’re going to be called racists again for accurately quoting a liberal fascist, but see if we give a bent Imperial sestertius:

DWS: It’s a priorities USA Super PAC ad…

Host: Correct

DWS: … and we have nothing to do with it.

Host: Do you deny that they’re Democrats?

DWS: I have no idea of the political affiliation of the folks associated with that Super PAC.

Visualize His Imperial Majesty taking off his reading glasses and rubbing his eyes while trying to make any sort of coherent sense out of those two statements, then visualize us giving up a losing battle without even trying.

Listen, Debbie Dearest, we do realize what you’re trying to do here, you’re trying to disavow any and all coordination between the DNC and Priorities “Romney Gave My Wife Cancer” USA since it is, in a word, illegal, but you’re doing it badly. So badly, in fact, that you’re making dumb animals look like geniuses by comparison.

We also realize, you poor dumb twat, that you don’t exactly has the best material in the world to work with. It’s not for nothing that your chocolate god is known as a Stuttering Clusterfuck of a Miserable Failure and it can’t possibly be easy to spin your way out of him and his staff saying, within 24 hours, that they both have no fucking idea who this completely unknown to them Soptic guy is and having to admit that they actually played up the possibilities of his wife’s death as a campaign issue on a conference call and used this guy they’d never heard of before in a different ad.

But seriously, you don’t have to make it bloody damn well worse on yourself by pretending that you don’t even know what political affiliation a Democrat Super PAC has.

We don’t mind you doing so, it’s pure comedy gold. Not to mention that every single time you open your dumb yap and display that fucktastical failure of orthodontology that you call “teeth”, you completely and utterly bugger yourself, your party and your incompetent boss in ways so epic that the English language simply does not have words to describe it. Not one little bit. If we didn’t know that nobody can simulate lack of sentience in ways as convincing as the image that you effortlessly project every time sounds trip over your lips, we’d suspect you of being a GOP plant.

We could use the phrase “if you didn’t exist, we’d have to invent you”, but we won’t. There is simply no way in Hades that we could pass off such an invention as being even remotely real. Not even to your particular voter demographic, which has the collective IQ of a catfish. A particularly dumb catfish.

So do go on, Debbie Dunderhead, do go on. We beg you.

Thatisall.

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Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches
August 14, 2012 00:41

For as dumb as so many of them are, they still manage to beat the American right wing like a two-dollar whore. It’s not embarrassing that the Dems have someone like her as their head, it’s that they *can* have someone like her as their head.

LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology
LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology
August 14, 2012 01:24

Whenever I see Debbie Does Moscow on TV, I always get the inexplicable craving for ramen noodles… :em03:

Anyone else experience this?

redc1c4
redc1c4
August 14, 2012 01:57

i wonder if you gave Debbie Dumbshit a real Wassermann whether or not the results would come back positive?

after all, tertiary syphilis would explain a whole lot of things about her mental state and behavior. :em03:

FrankOK
FrankOK
August 14, 2012 02:05

DWS: … and we have nothing to do with it.

What a LYING TWUNT!

LC Gunsniper
LC Gunsniper
August 14, 2012 05:21

So that’s what Debbie looks like. I thought it was Robert Plant with a bad case of the hives.

Terrapod
Terrapod
August 14, 2012 06:44

LOl+ROFL+tears in my eyes, thanks Emperor, I needed that this morning :em01:

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
August 14, 2012 11:57

LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology says:

Whenever I see Debbie Does Moscow on TV, I always get the inexplicable craving for ramen noodles…

Anyone else experience this?

every time I see her on TV, I get the urge to stand her on her head and sweep my floors

RDM
RDM
August 14, 2012 12:51

Debbie is the harbinger and prototype for the coming zombie apocalypse. It’s true – look at the blank eyes …

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
August 14, 2012 12:56

RDM says:

It’s true – look at the blank eyes …

that pretty much goes for any of the “sold their soul for power” liberals…..no soul, no glow

LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse
August 14, 2012 13:31

I can’t seem to be able to make out anything that Debbie Wassername Stuntdouble says. Her voice seems to resonate at the exact right frequency that makes a filling in my molar vibrate, and the pain is distracting. Or at least that is what it feels like. What a country we live in, when an unprincipled, unskilled, poorly educated person… Read more »

LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
August 14, 2012 14:58

Yer Majesty, given that dEar Leader chose her himself for her present position, and that dEar Leader doesn’t know if he is Moslim or Christian, is it any wonder that Debbie Wassername Slutz doesn’t know if Obama’s superPack is affiliated with the Democrat Party or not? Of course, given the positions advocated by Priorities USA, she may well have believed… Read more »

LC PrimEviL
LC PrimEviL
August 15, 2012 15:31

Misha:
Calling that bint “Wasserkopf” is an insult to hydrocephalics.
Perhaps something like “Washyermunt” would be more effective.
:em05:

LC Proud Infidel
LC Proud Infidel
August 15, 2012 21:12

Saying that Debbie Washedallup Schluz is stupid is like saying that the Pacific ocean is a big body of water! I remember this saying “NEVER hold you farts in. If you do, they travel up your spine, go into your brain, and that’s where shitty ideas come from!” Uppity liberals NEVER let their farts out, and it shows!! “No matter… Read more »