We’ve just learned, courtesy of the Obongo Campaign, that you’d better be careful if you’ve ever worked for a company that was ever remotely connected to Bain Capital. You see, according to the “new tone” Democrat National Socialist party and their Führer, Mittens causes cancer and no, we’re not talking about the kind that you put on your hands if you had the lack of sense to settle in an area that ever gets cold.
No, we kid you not! According to the brilliant minds of the Ogabe Campaign, this poor bloke lost his wife because Romney gave her cancer!
Bloody well horrifying, if you ask His Imperial Majesty, and it only gets more horrifying when you delve into the details, which the Ogabe campaign strangely failed to do. And by “details” we mean “fact checked the claim.”
You see, Romney left Bain Capital in 1999. The guy in the video then got laid off in 2002. And then, four years later, in 2006, his wife died of cancer!
Do you even begin to recognize the awesome powers of that Mitt Romney character? Forget about us Sith Lords, we’re comparable to fluffy kittens compared to a guy who can reach out and give the wives of former employees in companies shut down two years after he even had anything to do with said company cancer. And then KILL them! Through lack of health insurance, which said employee lost from having been laid off, a fate that no American has ever experienced at the hands of anybody else until that dastardly, time-traveling, EVIL Mitt Romney came along.
Certainly nobody ever lost a job as a result of our Ear Leader Ogabe or his policies. Just ask any single one of the employees of Solyndra. Or the 20,000 employees who got laid off because they weren’t members of Ogabe’s friends, the unions. And lost their pensions too, which they’d no doubt have spent on gun racks and Bud Lights instead of medical care for their loved ones.
OK, alright, you got a point, but at least Ear Leader never reached seven years into the future to murder the wife of a former employee of a company that he had nothing to do with, and did so only because… OK, we’ve got nothing.
It doesn’t change, however, the fact that what the never ever lying, utterly truthful, hopey-changey Ogabe Campaign just let us know of the truly terrifying powers of Mitt Romney. We’re quite frankly shitting our Imperial Robes at the thought of merely saying a naughty word about Mittens, because obviously he doesn’t even need a reason to strike us down with his awesome cancer-causing Powers of Doom.
And then we started checking out the reporting outside of the OgabeMedia (because the Ogabe Steno Pool and Ball Washing Team have already nixed the story since it has become “unhelpful” to their Führer) and we learned that the lady died of cancer a few weeks after she was diagnosed in 2006, as opposed to “after months and years of trying in vain to fight the Cancer That Romney Built™ without the benefit of health insurance, mainly because she refused to go to the doctor until it was too late.”
We also learned that the poor bereaved husband whose wife was murdered by Romney giving her cancer, whom the Ogabe Campaign assured everybody that they had no knowledge of had actually been used by the Ogabe Campaign in no less than two ads previously.
Which is probably the exact time that the Ogabe Scrotum Lickers formerly known as “the media” decided that the Biggest Story of the Century was a Non-Story™.
It’s almost as if they’re lying or something. But that can’t be. The fiddy2ers elected him, after all, because he was the truthiest, honestiest, most transparentiest candidate EVAH, and how can several million sub-retarded wastes of human skin be wrong?
You know, initially we felt quite sorry for the guy in the ad. How could you not? And then we found out that he was a paid whore for the Ogabe Campaign whoring his dead wife’s innocent body out. It’s a good thing that her soul left that body and is now in Heaven. It is really sad, however, that her husband is renting out her rotting carcass for necrophiliac Democrat National Socialists. On the upside, she’s no longer tied to a gigolo who’d let a gaggle of strangers fuck her remains for a few pennies. Not to mention the fact that she won’t ever have to meet him again, seeing as where HE’S going when he finally rids the world of his useless existence and goes to spend the rest of eternity suck-starting Satan’s cock.
Oh, and did we mention that the Ogabe Junta is the single most lawless regime this nation has ever suffered under, and we’re including King George in that assessment. If that’s our future, we’d have been better off not fighting the Revolutionary War. As in “it turned out to be a fucking waste of time, lives and fortunes.”
You look back upon the Founding Fathers and ask yourselves if they would have tolerated even five minutes of the current Junta. Then ask yourselves if they would have approved of us pissing it all away without as much as a whimper. Then ask yourselves, because I’m asking myself that every day now, “what the fuck kind of wimps have we turned into?”
I don’t know the answer to that question. The only thing I DO know that the point of no return is November 6. If we fuck that up as well, there is only one solution left. And I really don’t like that thought, but I know it’s the truth, and the truth is never pleasant.
We have a choice here, and we’re only going to get it once: Either we start taking out the trash, or this nation is over.
I’m as guilty of “putting it off for later” as anybody, I’m no saint here, but I’m getting seriously worried that my putting it off has made the problem and the inevitable consequences that much more horrible, which is exactly the opposite of what I wanted.
All I know is that a whole lot more than just “what’s the name of the next president going to be?” is on the line this November. I’m not saying, either, that Mittens is our Savior, he’s not even fucking close, but I AM saying that it is our last chance to turn the ship around before we reach the inevitable. And it’s also not the end, it will take decades of more work to get back to what we used to be, but if we don’t at least slow the ship down while holding on to our resolve that nothing short of victory is acceptable, then we’re going to have to jump right to the next chapter.
Which will be neither glorious nor wonderful, but we’ll have no choice.