Oh Just Shut Up Already, You Mewling Media Morons

And thanks to LC single stack for pointing us to yet another example of mediots speaking about that which they have not the slightest understanding of.

Of course, if they only spoke of what they know, they’d never utter or type a word again which, now that we think about it, would be a giant leap ahead for civilization.

Handgun type used on Sikhs is mass shooting weapon of choice

The kind that have bullets coming out of one end? Do tell. Yes, it turns out that it really is something as retarded as that, which is what you’d expect from sub-algae lifeforms unemployable if it weren’t for the “news media.” But let’s not interrupt the little idiot dears.

The semiautomatic handgun used in the deadly attack on a Wisconsin Sikh temple is the same type used in other recent U.S. mass shootings, including one at a theater in Colorado, and the attack on a congresswoman in Arizona, gun experts said.

And you know that when mediots use terms like “gun experts”, they mean “somebody from the Brady Campaign.”

So what’s this all about? Some evil conspiracy by one particular type of gun that is prone to running around murdering people?

We only wish we were joking.

Wisconsin shooter Wade Michael Page used a Springfield 9mm semiautomatic handgun to carry out the attack at a Sikh temple in Oak Creek, Wisconsin, officials said.

A Springfield 9. OK. Noted. Springfield 9s conspire to murder people.

James Holmes, the man accused of killing 12 people in a shooting spree last month at a theater in Aurora, Colorado, used one .40-caliber Glock handgun and had another one in his car.

And a Glock .40 too! Oh dear. Lock Up Your Glocks! Sounds like an awesome name for a rock band.

Jared Loughner, who is accused of killing six people and critically wounding Representative Gabrielle Giffords in a January 2011 attack in Tucson, Arizona, used a Glock 9 mm semiautomatic pistol with a magazine that held more than 30 bullets.

There’s that GLOCK again! And a 9 this time, just to make it all the more horrible. What’s this Tribe of 9 thing anyway? Do they sacrifice live children too? Sure they do. They’re guns!

Seung-hui Cho, the Virginia Tech University student who killed 32 people and then committed suicide in 2007, also used a Glock semiautomatic handgun.

What? No caliber this time? Oh, wait, it’s a GLOCK! That’s all you really need to know. Evil, evil, EVIL GLOCK! You literally can’t hold one in your hand without immediately murdering people. Somebody tell those hyperventilating mediot arse-carbuncles what the most common brand of police officer sidearm is. Just to watch them spontaneously combust in a fiery mess of paranoid fear.

The common thread binding the mass attacks together is that they all used semiautomatic handguns with high-capacity magazines, Spearman said.

“Spearman’s” actual name is Sugarmann (but don’t hold it against the drooling retard writing that spew. It was several paragraphs ago that he used his actual name. And do you want to know who Josh Sugarmann/”Spearman” is? You ought to, since he’s the “experts” (he’s so awesome he’s plural!) that Roto-Reuters referred to in the beginning. He’s the executive director of the Violence Policy Center, another gun-grabbing, pearl-clutching band of happy totalitarians. OK, so we got one thing wrong. That’s not the Brady Campaign, but it’s a distinction without a difference.

But back to Gun Experts (with a plural “s”) Josh SugarSpearmann or whatever the Hades his name will be at the end of the article and his “common thread.” No, the common thread “binding the mass attacks together” isn’t that they were committed by murdering swine, it’s that they were committed by, not with, semiautomatic handguns with “high-capacity” magazines. Who needs a shooter? The gun is clearly plenty evil in itself!

Those evil, dangerous semiautomatic handguns who reload by the slide moving every time you pull the trigger, as opposed to the much less dangerous revolvers who reload by the drum moving every time you pull the trigger.

Not dangerous at all

Evil, dangerous, mass murdering Spawn of Satan HELL GUN!!!1!

We feel strangely compelled to once again post this:

Now YOU’RE a Gun Experts (with a plural “s”) too!

But back to Josh Spear that Sugar Man:

“There is no valid reason for civilians to have assault rifles, semiautomatic handguns and high-capacity magazines,” he said.

All of those mass shootings seem to contradict your asinine statement in a rather direct fashion, since all of the body counts in those cases were racked up thanks to the very absence of guns in “civilian” hands. Unless you’re trying to convince us that you stand a better chance of surviving in the presence of a mass murdering, armed subhuman if you’re unarmed, in which case we cordially invite you to go have auto-erotic sex in anatomically impossible ways. With a GLOCK! It’s OK, you can come out from under the coffee table now. We swear we won’t shoot you. Much.

“We have to start ratcheting down the firepower in civilian hands in the United States.”

Who’s this “we” you’re talking about? If you want His Imperial Majesty’s guns, then by all means come take them. Please. Don’t hold back. Do try.

Or just shut the fuck up before somebody gets hurt, if you know what we mean and we think that you do.

We swear. Mocking those scrotal sores is just like riding a motorcycle in a marathon. At the Special Olympics. But we enjoy it so very, very much.

Thatisall.

22 comments

  1. 1
    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology growls and barks:

    Am I the only one who thinks it a mite strange that we’ve had two major shootings (to receive national attention) in the time span of barely over a fortnight?

  2. 2
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology @ #:
    Nope. Not. At. All. The LSDMSN and the demonkkrats are gearing up for something big.

    Oh, and somehow, someway, a shooting in a Staples store that didn’t happen.
    THERE IS A REALLY GRAPHIC PHOTO ON THAT LINK.

  3. 3
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    Same old vapid, sophomoric argument from the hoplophobic presstitutes. :em07:

  4. 4
    BigDogg growls and barks:

    “We have to start ratcheting down the firepower in civilian hands in the United States.”

    The only way you’re going to accomplish that is by giving us enough targets to empty all of our ammo into. I take it that you’ll be among the first to volunteer?

  5. 5
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    My weapon of choice, for what it’s worth, would never be a 9mm unless it was a machine pistol.

    Just trying to help here…

  6. 6
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    I wonder what the peter-puffing media would have to say about my .44 Desert Eagle? :em05:
    FrankOK recently posted..Exactly what I’d do, alsoMy Profile

  7. 7
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    FrankOK says:

    I wonder what the peter-puffing media would have to say about my .44 Desert Eagle?

    It’s not a Deagle. It’s an AK-47. :em01:

  8. 8

    I really don’t think this puke would understand if he was robbed at knife point, and the robber were to say directly “Good thing you didn’t have a gun, or I couldn’t have done this”.
    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician recently posted..A little bit of Gene SimmonsMy Profile

  9. 9
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    Damn…my .45 and .357 have never hurt anybody. Am I missing something? Let these fools cater to the ignorant and fearful. You want em, come and take em……got some shotguns and rifles I’d like you to meet….

  10. 10
  11. 11
    KArnold growls and barks:

    A MODEST PROPOSAL: if the hoplophobes continue to have their way keeping guns out of the hands of innocent victims, I suggest that henceforth, all Sikh temples use kukri-carrying Ghurkas for security. They do seem to have a pretty good record…

  12. 12
    ohio right wing nut growls and barks:

    SSSHHHHH…everybody be quite, I’m eavesdropping on a conversation between my Springfield 9mm, Baretta, and my Walther, I think those fucking evil guns are ploting something very bad.

    Stay tuned for further updates. :em05:

  13. 13

    FrankOK says:

    I wonder what the peter-puffing media would have to say about my .44 Desert Eagle?
    FrankOK recently posted..Exactly what I’d do, also

    That it’s overcompensation for a small penis?

    I’m certainly not implying anything about the size of your penis – merely stating what the mediots will claim.

    I’m here to help. :)
    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..“Be mindful of your sources…”My Profile

  14. 14
    Bitter Clinger growls and barks:

    Ahhh what would we do without the help of the MSM to tell us what to think, eat, feel, become morally outraged about…… :em03:

    There are two Greek words (which don’t work well on a QWERTY keyboard) roughly translated “Come and take them.”

    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch says:

    FrankOK says:

    I wonder what the peter-puffing media would have to say about my .44 Desert Eagle?
    FrankOK recently posted..Exactly what I’d do, also

    That it’s overcompensation for a small penis?

    I’m certainly not implying anything about the size of your penis – merely stating what the mediots will claim.

    I’m here to help.
    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..“Be mindful of your sources…”

    OUCH!! Damn Nicki what’d he do to you?! :em05:

  15. 15
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    I’m so happy my 1911 likes me. :em01:

  16. 16
    KArnold growls and barks:

    LC Spare Parts @ #15:

    You should take that as a compliment; 1911′s are known to be choosy about their friends.

    I understand that, per Executive Order, the fire selector switch on the new M-16 will have multiple options: “Auto,” “Semi,” and “Murdering Psychopath.”

  17. 17
    Aus_Autarch growls and barks:

    Here’s an sign that should be at more public locations:
    http://s9.postimage.org/f48yf66yn/guns_welcome.jpg

  18. 18
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    Bitter Clinger says:

    Ahhh what would we do without the help of the MSM to tell us what to think, eat, feel, become morally outraged about……

    There are two Greek words (which don’t work well on a QWERTY keyboard) roughly translated “Come and take them.”

    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch says:

    FrankOK says:

    I wonder what the peter-puffing media would have to say about my .44 Desert Eagle?
    FrankOK recently posted..Exactly what I’d do, also

    That it’s overcompensation for a small penis?

    I’m certainly not implying anything about the size of your penis – merely stating what the mediots will claim.

    I’m here to help.
    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..“Be mindful of your sources…”

    OUCH!! Damn Nicki what’d he do to you?!

    That’s what I was wondering – oh well – guess I’ve got bad breath or something.

    :EM03:
    FrankOK recently posted..Exactly what I’d do, alsoMy Profile

  19. 19
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    LC LOBO:
    “Cynthia Clinkingbeard?” Bwahahaha! Sounds like something that Monty Python™ dropped.

  20. 20
    LC Xealot growls and barks:

    You know, I much prefer the joy of using my Mossberg 500 shotgun. You don’t even have to aim it, really.. just sort of point it in the general direction of the offending goblin and pull the trigger.

    And nothing says “fuck you, go away” like pumping a 12 gauge. It’s just one of those universally understood messages.

  21. 21
    LC Stargazer growls and barks:

    Hmmm. Isn’t there an actual AK-47 on the rifle poster? Wouldn’t this kind of ‘expert’ manage to identify it as, oh, a Winchester or something?

  22. 22
    LC/IB PrimEviL growls and barks:

    LC Stargazer @ #21:
    Nah, they would probably identify an AK as a “Schmeisser”, since such a thing in fact has never existed.
    LC/IB PrimEviL recently posted..Comp. On OrderMy Profile