ABC’s Brian Ross has just discovered that Mitt Romney liked reading Arthur Conan Doyle books as a child.
Well, as we all know, Sir Arthur’s most famous character was one Sherlock Holmes.
Clearly Mitt Romney is an admirer of the Aurora Beast who, after all, had the same last name as Sherlock. It’s RIGHT THERE!
Next, we have ABC’s riveting expose written by their very own Brian Ross on how Sarah Palin is clearly tied into the shootings in Aurora because, hey…
Alaska. Aurora. Aurora Borealis!
Yep. ABC is ON. THE. BALL!
Shit. We just heard from our unnamed sources within ABC that Brian Ross is also working on a story about how Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was English and, as we all know, those English people like tea. Get that? Tea. As in “Tea Party!” He’ll be sure to get a raise from ABC any day now, seeing as how they have absolutely no standards that aren’t double.
And that means “twice”, as in “twice as good as yours, you heretic peasants who do not worship the Great Obama sufficiently.”
All hail ABC and the Brian Ross! We are not worthy!