In Other, Unrelated News

ABC’s Brian Ross has just discovered that Mitt Romney liked reading Arthur Conan Doyle books as a child.

Well, as we all know, Sir Arthur’s most famous character was one Sherlock Holmes.

Holmes… HOLMES!

Get it?

Clearly Mitt Romney is an admirer of the Aurora Beast who, after all, had the same last name as Sherlock. It’s RIGHT THERE!

Next, we have ABC’s riveting expose written by their very own Brian Ross on how Sarah Palin is clearly tied into the shootings in Aurora because, hey…

Alaska. Aurora. Aurora Borealis!

Yep. ABC is ON. THE. BALL!

Thatisall.

Shit. We just heard from our unnamed sources within ABC that Brian Ross is also working on a story about how Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was English and, as we all know, those English people like tea. Get that? Tea. As in “Tea Party!” He’ll be sure to get a raise from ABC any day now, seeing as how they have absolutely no standards that aren’t double.

And that means “twice”, as in “twice as good as yours, you heretic peasants who do not worship the Great Obama sufficiently.”

All hail ABC and the Brian Ross! We are not worthy!

15 comments

  1. 1
    single stack growls and barks:

    Not to try to hijack the thread, Sire, but I have an anecdote that may interest you.
    Last night at lodge we were discussing the Aurora atrocity when one of the brothers asked,
    “Does anyone know what caliber the rifle was?”
    We had all seen reports that it was a S&W AR15 (M&P15) so of course we all said, “.223″.
    He replied that he saw a clip on the news of the police displaying the weapons the monster used and the ammunition on the table with the rifle was 22 Long Rifle.
    Suddenly some facts came together that we hadn’t considered.
    First, S&W makes a dedicated rimfire version of the M&P15, the M&P15-22. It costs a fraction of the price of the centerfire version.
    Second, it wouldn’t be that difficult for a college student to be able to shell out the dinars for 6000 rounds of 22LR.
    Third, several people were shot multiple times from just a few feet away while lying on or otherwise shielding other people and the bullets didn’t penetrate their bodies and wound or kill the people they were shielding. .223 would almost certainly have gone completely through both people. According to a news report I saw, one of the wounded was shot in the neck and remained conscious. Another survivor was able to stanch the bleeding with her fingers. This isn’t likely with .223.
    Given the state of gun knowledge of journoscum I can’t help but wonder if the “40 caliber Glocks” are actually .40 cal or if they are even Glocks.
    I’m trying to locate the clip my friend referenced but so far I haven’t had any success.

  2. 2
  3. 3
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    “Double standard” in their case means “twice Teh Stoopid”! :em05:

    Y’know, I was wondering about that. Hydraulic shock alone from a .223 should’ve blown her skull off, yet the bullet stopped just at the surface of the skull. Yep. 22LR for sure.

    Can you imagine the carnage if he *had* been using .223?!?

  4. 4
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    Honesty from the “Journaljism Mutherfuckers”?
    :em05:
    I want some of what you’re smoking – it’s bound to be better than the stuff we had in college.

    On a related note – if all hell ever does break loose, Europe will be bitching louder than normal due to the stench drifting their way as a byproduct of the necessary collateral damage – it won’t be hard to find a job, either.

  5. 5
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    Does Brian Ross know that one individual is responsible for global warming? Get with it Brian. Santa Claus is the cause of global warming. I sent him a copy of Mein Kampf for Christmas and he’s spending 364 days a year liquidating all the Icebergs.

  6. 6
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Please, Brian Ross is falling for every red herring out there. The criminal mastermind behind all of this is clearly Zombie John Holmes. Moral degenerate? Check. Prior participation in mass murder? Check. Obvious sociopath? Check. Connect the dots, people, and always remember – wheels within wheels.

  7. 7
    LC LittleRott84 Imperial DJ growls and barks:

    Will that Brian Ross idiot just shut up? We’re all tired of his nonsense. I swear, if he throws his rattle out of his pram again, I am going shove it down his throat. :em08:

  8. 8

    .22? Okay, that makes much more sense. Would have been FAR messier with .223 indeed.
    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician recently posted..Obama: CIA asset?My Profile

  9. 9
    single stack growls and barks:

    Here’s more evidence that the rifle was a 22LR.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2176377/James-Holmes-Colorado-shooting-Gunman-used-drugs-killed-Heath-Ledger.html

    Near the bottom of the page is a pic of a guy showing two bullet wounds in his upper arm. Definitely not .223.

  10. 10
    single stack growls and barks:

    single stack @ #:

    Also, at the site linked in post #9 there is a picture of the rifle lying by the exit door of the theater. The magazine in the rifle is not a 100 round drum. If the rifle is a M&P15-22 the magazine is the 25 round magazine that comes with it.

  11. 11
    LC TerribleTroy growls and barks:

    Something is unusual about the config of the front sight on the rifle in that photo. The magazine appears to be full size standard 20 rounder, certainly not a drum style mag as “reported”. I want to know the make and model of the firearm. I want to know if it had any “conversions.”

    Firearms are just tools. I AM THE WEAPON.

  12. 12
    single stack growls and barks:

    LC TerribleTroy @ #:

    Early reports stated that it is a “Smith & Wesson AR15″. If true, it is a M&P15.
    Based on the wounds people received, and comparing the pic in the link and S&Ws website, I’m convinced it’s the 22LR version, the M&P15-22.

    http://www.smith-wesson.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Category4_750001_750051_757786_-1_757784_757784_image

  13. 13
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    I don’t know if it’s significant, or not, but Brian Ross was convicted in 2000, in Payne County, Oklahoma of Possession of Drug Parafernalia, Maintaining a House Where Drugs are Kept, Unlawful Delivery of a CDS, and Unloawful Possession of CDS with Intent to Distribute.

  14. 14
    LC TerribleTroy growls and barks:

    After a second review I retract my descrptor of the magazine. It is obviously not a standard 20 round magazine. But it also doesn’t appear to be a traditional 30 rounder. The curvature doesn’t seem right. Don’t know what goimg on with the front end. The front sight appears way too tall. Don’t know if its the angle of the photo. Still interested in the official report on make and model.

  15. 15
    The_Basseteer growls and barks:

    LC TerribleTroy @ #:

    I enlarged the photo mentioned…. the tall front sight looks more like a sling. Also, a quick search shows that Brownell’s sells a 50 round drum magazine for the M&P 15-22
    The_Basseteer recently posted..Governor Palin, Please Keep Up The PressureMy Profile