ABC… #WINNING!

Posted by Emperor Misha I on July 24, 2012

Or should we call it “another nail in the coffin?”

We don’t know. When it comes to the Lapdog Media, we don’t think a coffin will do the trick. A stake through the heart is required as well. And decapitation. A bit of burning would be nice too. Until they turn nice and crispy. Not charred, mind you, just nice and crispy.

We guess ABC’s breathless reporting that the Aurora Mass Murdering Beast’s mom admitted to them that her son was definitely “the right person” wasn’t quite, how do you say it in the English, “accurate.”

This is how they reported it after having talked to her on the phone:

The woman, contacted at her home in San Diego, spoke briefly with ABC News and immediately expressed concern her son may be involved in the shooting death of at least 12 people overnight.

“You have the right person,” she said, apparently speaking on gut instinct. “I need to call the police… I need to fly out to Colorado.”

See? She just knew that her son was a borderline psychopath about to cross the line! She knew it, KNEW it, I tells ya! Must credit the infallible reporting of ABC!

Except, ahem, she doesn’t appear to agree with that interpretation all that much, as you’ll see if you follow the link and watch her announcement. It was more like “are you A, mother of B, who lives in Aurora?”, to which she answered “yes, you’ve got the right person” and then, we paraphrase, “what’s this all about and why are you calling me?”

Which would seem to us an entirely acceptable and believable response that we might have offered ourselves, even though we might, might have sprinkled with a bit of “fuckhead”, “twat”, “sod off, wanker”, “we know where you live” and “make your peace with G-d, you cocksucking, cold-calling bastard because nobody, nobody interrupts us during our 639th viewing of Firefly“, but that’s just because we’re so very, very lovable.

ABC, once they confirmed that the conversation wasn’t recorded, has decided to stand by their version of events, so we guess we’ll just have to believe them. After all, this is the news network that employs such fact-checking, truth-telling, impeccable luminaries of journalism as Brian Ross… Wait a minute. Never mind.

At this point, the only thing we can say is that if you believe a single word that you might hear on ABC… No, scratch that, if you’re even paying attention to anything coming from ABC, you need an intervention.

Thatisall.

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3 comments

  1. 1
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:
    July 24, 2012 at 11:23

    At this point, the only thing we can say is that if you believe a single word that you might hear on ABC… No, scratch that, if you’re even paying attention to anything coming from ABC, you need an intervention.

    Who is this character that goes by the initials of ABC? I don’t know this person…

    Haven’t watched those losers in over 30 years, ain’t gonna start now. ESPECIALLY now. These ‘tards are simply breathtaking in their daring, aren’t they? Why do they continue to do it? Because, for now, they can get away with it! If it fits Ogabe’s or the Left’s agendas, they will lie/obfuscate/deny until the cows come home.

  2. 2
    Tallulah growls and barks:
    July 24, 2012 at 23:57

    This is another ABC horror story that was a TOTAL LIE.

    Remember this one?

    How ABC Viciously Slandered Food Lion

    http://www.aim.org/publications/special_reports/foodlion.html

    Incredible, damning, TOTAL refutation of the utterly libelous PrimeTime Live bullshit story, headed by the Blonde Bitch, Diane Sawyer.

    Their own videotapes refuted every single accusation and proved that their own undercover women staged every single “infraction.”

    You really have to see the link, and it’s unfuckingbelievable.

  3. 3
    Tallulah growls and barks:
    July 24, 2012 at 23:58

    An excerpt from the Food Lion story:

    ABC charged the chain with deliberately selling spoiled food. A jury of 12 Carolinians found that ABC got the story by fraud, and in essence that it had violated the standards by which decent people live and work.

    But even in its disgrace, ABC did not have the dignity to admit that the challenged segment was grossly inaccurate and deceitful. Instead, ABC executives wrapped themselves in the First Amendment–pertaining to Freedom of the Press–and embarked upon a deliberate distortion of the issues involved. The day of the verdict, Roone Arledge, the president of ABC News, issued a written statement repeated by much of the media that in challenging the network’s investigative techniques, “The company has done so without ever challenging the truth of our broadcast.”

    Arledge’s statement was as false as was the segment attacking Food Lion. In both its public statements and thousands of pages of court filings, Food Lion indeed had challenged the veracity of the segment, and in damning detail.

    Arledge and ABC lawyers knew this fact, but nonetheless he and other network officers repeated one of the more flagrant lies in the history of American journalism.

    Good ole Roone Fuckin’ Arledge. That good ole boy who brought us ABC’s Wide World of Sports. That’s where the asshole should have stayed.