The Cure For Glowbull Wormening

News flash! National Geographic has found the cure! All we need is a little regional thermonuclear war!

Even a regional nuclear war could spark “unprecedented” global cooling and reduce rainfall for years, according to U.S. government computer models.

Gotta love computer-modeling. Especially when it’s based on flawed data to start with, like the existence of so-called global warming in the first place. But read on, and watch NatGeo REALLY display their knowledge:

Today, with the United States the only standing superpower, nuclear winter is little more than a nightmare.

The only standing superpower? I guess we can just forget about all those Russian nukes, after all, those nukes went away when the USSR folded. Right? What’s that? They didn’t? Are you sure?

Oh well, at least China, with the world’s largest standing army, doesn’t have a nucle…er…wait, yeah they do. But I digress…

Earth is currently in a long-term warming trend.

…according to your cooked data.

After a regional nuclear war, though, average global temperatures would drop by 2.25 degrees F (1.25 degrees C) for two to three years afterward, the models suggest.

Two and a quarter degrees! GASP, we’re talking ICE AGE! Get ready for the glaciers, Tampa Bay!

Go have fun with this one and chew it up among yourselves!

25 comments

  1. 1

    Sir M, I mean no disrespect, but I just read this … and my apologies for being off topic

    America’s last surviving World War One vet has died at the age of 110

    He served in WW I, was a prisoner of the Japanese for 3 1/2 years in WW II ..

    RIP, Corporal Buckles :em04:

  2. 2
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Well, I almost posted LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist‘s news first–though it’s no surprise other Rotties got to it before me.

    WW I was my granddad’s war.

  3. 3
    Sir George growls and barks:

    This is why 1963 should be known as the year with a logic. According to Nat Geo’s New Think, that year should’ve heralded a new ice age because the previous year marked a peak in megatonnage. The idiots pretend that we’ve never set the weapons off before, and that there can’t be historical data to look at. Apparently Nat Geo’s scientific accumen stopped somewhere around tits. Now they just bring humiliation down upon themselves.

  4. 4
    SoCalOilMan, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    Nuclear Winter, maybe that’s why they’re letting Iran get the bomb. A little trade of destruction between Iran and Israel and the anthropomorphic warming harm done to the Earth is reversed. :em41:

    I read a great article on the unintended results of wind energy over at Town Hall:

    Wind Power: Questionable Benefits, Concealed Impacts

    Like most government ideas, what they propose to save us is worse than what they are trying to save us from.

  5. 5

    The folks in my father in law’s neighborhood have had their wind towers hung up not by funding or zoning, but unions.
    The unions have thrown every litigious barrier and roadblock into the plans, demanding that union people install them, not the tech’s from the manufacturer.
    That would put the whole project right off the budget map.
    And so it sits.

  6. 6
    LC Draco growls and barks:

    Sorry, I love my truck and will CONTINUE to use gasoline as long as I can get it. And yes, I would pay 5 bucks a gallon, if nothing else, just to piss liberals off. (That and I actually own stock in several oil and gas companies, but that’s just the greedy bastard in me. :em02: )

  7. 7
    Cortillaen growls and barks:

    Even a regional nuclear war could spark “unprecedented” global cooling and reduce rainfall for years

    Awesome! Because less food production is exactly what this planet needs right now! :em98:

  8. 8
    TheRoyalFamily growls and barks:

    But that 1.25C is, like, all the global warming that we’ve experienced in the last X years! This is a major breakthrough!

    I guess we’ll just have to keep having “regional nuclear wars” in perpetuity, since that’s the only way to effectively fight glowball warming – even the warmmongers agree that reducing our carbon output will do jack squat.

  9. 9
    LC MuscleDaddy growls and barks:

    I’m going to go with NatGeo on this – let’s nuke Iran, Yemen, Afghanistan & Syria, so we can be about the serious business of reversing this Glowbal Warming Catastrophe!

    It’s for the CHILLLLLDREEEEENNNNNN!!!!!

    – MD

  10. 10
    cbullitt growls and barks:

    And Carl Sagan Rises from the dead to say it will only cost “billions and billions” of lives. :em95:

  11. 11
    Library Czar growls and barks:

    If we are going to pick targets I propose SF, LA, Chicago and start with DC :em93:

  12. 12
    BC, Imperial Torturer growls and barks:

    Earth is currently in a long-term warming trend.

    Actually, they’re “technically correct”. We’ve been in said “long-term warming trend” for about the last 10,000-25,000 years, with a few cold snaps (of a few centuries in length), thrown in for good measure. There’s a reason we live in an “era” called “The Holocene”… It’s because those 1.5-2.0-MILE THICK ICE SHEETS are no longer covering most of the northern hemisphere that we have been able to move out of our ancestors’ caves and have Algore invent Teh Intarwebz® and Glow Bull Worming™.

  13. 13
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    LC MuscleDaddy says:

    I’m going to go with NatGeo on this – let’s nuke Iran, Yemen, Afghanistan & Syria, so we can be about the serious business of reversing this Glowbal Warming Catastrophe!
    It’s for the CHILLLLLDREEEEENNNNNN!!!!!
    – MD

    Library Czar says:

    If we are going to pick targets I propose SF, LA, Chicago and start with DC

    The combined list sounds good.

  14. 14

    Response to VonZorch Imperial Researcher @:

    Use FAEs on LA .. en masse .. I live an hour south of LA and dealing with the radiation would be a beeotch.

  15. 15
    Library Czar growls and barks:

    Actually dealing with the fall out is not as bad as the left makes it sound. Depending on conditions one can go outside with a mask in as little as six to eight hours after the blast.

  16. 16

    Response to Library Czar @:

    Yeah but even so I dont want my beach fouled by a nice mushroom cloud appearing above Smell-A :em02:

    Yeah I know, I’m a heartless sod …

  17. 17
    lc purple raider growls and barks:

    If we are going to pick targets I propose SF, LA, Chicago and start with DC

    Nuke Chicago only if Obummer is in town, two birds with one stone.

    Oh, and give me an hour’s warning.

  18. 18
    GamerFromJump growls and barks:

    Once again, envirotards show their inner monster.

  19. 19
    bruce growls and barks:

    i already cashed in all my retirement money and turned it in to land, gold and guns.

  20. 20
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    Oh and let’s add Redmond Wa to the list

  21. 21

    VonZorch Imperial Researcher says:

    Oh and let’s add Redmond Wa to the list

    say what???

    can you give me 24 hours notice to clear out first?

  22. 22
    bruce growls and barks:

    one big volcanic eruption like tambora would do a number on us the way it did in 1815,16.

  23. 23
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery says:

    VonZorch Imperial Researcher says:
    Oh and let’s add Redmond Wa to the list
    say what???
    can you give me 24 hours notice to clear out first?

    I’ve been dealing with Macroshaft products. Every time I do that Iend up wanting to vaporize corporate HQ and Bill’s house.

  24. 24
    tweell growls and barks:

    Ah yes, it’s indeed time for skippy’s 250 Megaton Klimate Kooler ™ debut! skippy’s taking bribes bids on where this modern miracle of science is to be deployed (remember, you can pay to aim or to deflect).

  25. 25

    VonZorch Imperial Researcher says:

    I’ve been dealing with Macroshaft products. Every time I do that Iend up wanting to vaporize corporate HQ and Bill’s house.

    I can give you really accurate coordinates to both…..just give me time to clear out first.

    Share the same opinion of most MIcrosoft products.