They Ride Horses, Don’t They?

When the increasingly desperate Ogabe Steno Pool Media (predictably) started rolling out the “Aren’t Those Romneys WEIRD?” narrative, we weren’t in the least surprised, particularly with regards to the sudden outbursts of hateful bigotry against Mormons. The liberal fascists are, after all, according to their own statements, the most open-minded, non-hating, empathetic, tolerant inderveeduals to have ever walked the planet, so of COURSE they’d immediately launch into a smear campaign against Mormons. Nothing says “love” louder than “I really fucking hate, distrust and despise you and your weird, wacky, most likely racist religion.”

But we’ll freely admit that we hadn’t quite foreseen, though we ought to have (but even an Emperor has to miss a step at times), that the liberal fascists would be mocking Ann Romney for her horseback riding which she uses to combat MS.

Obviously they’re not mocking her for trying to live with a serious disability, that would turn 98% of their demented, subretarded short bus driving demographic right off, they’re trying to push the “isn’t it weird that she rides fancy horses?” angle. Which makes perfect sense if you’re an inner city cocoon liberal fascist who has never seen a horse on something that wasn’t a postcard, because HORSES? ELITIST!!! She IS the 1%!

Leaving aside DNCNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell’s inexcusably ignorant comments about how dressage does not in the least help MS victims, quite contrary to actual facts, but he IS associated with a network that wouldn’t be able to attract a clue if they doused themselves in ClueGlue and rolled through a fertile field of Clue.

It’s the sneering at horseback riding and dressage as pure snobbery clearly placing the Romney family outside of the mainstream that really gets our goat. And derisive laughter.

You see, Lawrence of Retardia, horseback riding is pretty much what this nation was built on and it is still extensively used outside of your Cocooned Liberal Enclaves where actual human beings live. And learning to ride one of those noble steeds and riding it properly is no mean feat, which is why your lead paint chip ingesting forebears probably spent most of their time shoveling horse manure after better qualified people had passed.

You’re right: There IS a sense of nobility in being able to control your charger. It proves that you are able to exert discipline, self-discipline and that you’re able to enter into a symbiosis of sorts with an animal who would much rather be running free in the wild.

In days of yore, the mastery of horseback riding set you apart from the grubby peasants wallowing in the mud, it was a way of asserting your control, your competency and, more than anything else, to cover long distances in a fraction of the time it would take to walk it. It was, and IS a skill that you have to work hard on until you finally get it. NOT one of those “skills” where you get a trophy for just showing up.

It is not to be mocked, it is something to aspire to. It is your first step on your road to upward mobility. The real kind. Not the “I once fucked the producer’s niece so he pretty much had to hire me on” kind.

When His Imperial Majesty was young, OK, youngER, there were a few things you had to accomplish in order to call yourself a man.

Riding a horse was one of them. And dressage, no matter how fwench it sounds, is one sure way of demonstrating that it’s you riding the horse and not the other way around.

Sailing a boat was another, but that was due to all of the ocean around where we grew up. If you could not skipper a sail boat, with emphasis on sail, so 500hp motor boats need not apply, you weren’t shit. If you couldn’t steer into a Beaufort 9 in a 20 footer under sail and come out on the other side unscathed, you had just failed.

Shooting was yet another. The ability to trap, forage and shoot with the necessary cleaning and cooking skills, you weren’t worth shit. If you can’t live off the land, you might as well just spend that last bullet on yourself.

All of those used to be POSITIVE qualities, and we urgently urged youngsters desiring to follow in our footsteps to go with it. Because it would improve THEM. It would teach them independence, self-reliance and pride in their own accomplishments. A pride well earned, as the price of failure at any point in the procedure was truly horrible. But even in failure, while we didn’t insult the failed candidate with an “O Well, You Tried” trophy, we were more than open and encouraging when it came to urging them to learn from their mistakes and try again.

Think about it. Sailing, horseback riding, shooting, foraging, fire building, all of them skills that any self-respecting individual ought to master, skills that can save lives, not just the lives of the skilled but also the lives of the not so skilled who just happen to come by. Because that is ONE thing that is drilled into your skull when you’re being trained: Those skills are yours, yes, but they are only given to you with the implicit demand that you spend the rest of your life spreading them for the good of all of those who don’t have them.

But in our post-civilization Democrat Socialist world, such devotion to basic, life-saving skills is “snobbery.”

Which is quite understandable, really, when you look at it from the Liberal Fascist point of view. If every single citizen of this nation had been taught how to be self-sufficient if need be, then where the fuck would the 6 figure government administrator salaries come from?

Nowhere, that’s where. And that’s why we need to teach our kids, if we have any, or our friends how to acquire those basic, noble skills which will liberate them completely from the Nanny State.



  1. 1
    LC FX Phillips growls and barks:

    Which makes perfect sense if you’re an inner city cocoon liberal fascist who has never seen a horse on something that wasn’t a postcard, because HORSES? ELITIST!!! She IS the 1%!

    Because nothing show solidarity with the masses like having a 15 million dollar fund raisers with and at the mansions of arrogant Hollywood airheads like George Clooney. Nothing shows you are with the folks when you dine with pretentious and supercilious ice queen bitches like Anna Wintour.

    Nothing sends the message “I feel your pain” like multiple million dollar vacations, gaudy fashion choices and over a hundred rounds of golf. This is behavior that would’ve made Louis the 14th blush. As for horses here’s the rub. Romney paid for those horses on his own dime. The President is living the high life on our diminishing credit rating.

    So let socialist ass whistle Larry O’Donnell(he describes himself that way) fulminate from his cushy TV gig which even at MSNBC probably pays him over 250K a year. When these Mercedes Marxists start giving away the fruits of their labor to the masses they claim to support and use the 1040 EZ form to file their taxes and eschew their tax deductions then I might take them seriously about some of their effluvium. Until then they are faux populists with a bullhorn and a load of bullshit.

  2. 2
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    If (perish the thought!) Anne Romney were to suddenly pass away, the liberal media would call it a publicity stunt to bring sympathy to Mitt’s campaign. The bulk of these progtard media whores would look exceptional stretched out on a slab.

  3. 3
    LC FX Phillips growls and barks:

    If (perish the thought!) Anne Romney were to suddenly pass away, the liberal media would call it a publicity stunt to bring sympathy to Mitt’s campaign.

    This is why the NDSWP is essentially the political equivalent of terrorists. They rule their own families out of bounds while scrutinizing, criticizing and ridiculing their opponents families without a second thought. Take for example the late Elizabeth Edwards. Does anyone think that the media would’ve allowed any one to criticize that nasty as cat shit woman and that they wouldn’t have invoked her cancer as shield?

    Even now we have a first lady who openly politics for her husband and if anything critical is said about anything she spouts you are instantly vilified and set upon by those oh so tolerant leftists who make worse observations not about what Anne Romney may say but degrade her in a most personal way. This is purposeful ,as we all know, and typical of the NDSWP: they try and immunize their ideas by using people that they in their delusional minds are not allowed to be criticized. Any attack on the ideas being disseminated are deemed ad hominem by disingenuous hacks and they gin up a shit storm of phony outrage.

    The NDSWP discontinued being good faith interlocutors many decades ago. They have only gotten worse with time. Their will to power overrides any decency or integrity they may possess as they know they cannot be honest with the American people and hold power.

  4. 4

    Witness the marxist manifesto in motion.

  5. 5
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    I wonder if they realize where their Thanksgiving turkey comes from…

    Remember this:

    SARAH PALIN Turkey Incident: Does KTUU TV Interview while turkeys are slaughtered in background.

    following the Emperors lead here’s my modest list of things every American should know how to do (unless your a liberal):

    1. How to field dress a deer/elk
    2. Slaughter chickens
    3. Shoot a rifle/shotgun/handgun
    4. Make fire without matches
    5. Change a tire/alternator/water pump/fan belt/battery/oil
    6. Home canning
    7. Raise a garden
    8. Basic framing/electrical/pluming
    9. Sew a patch
    10. Camp outdoors
    11. Make beer/whiskey at home (George Washington did)
    12. Make homemade cinnamon rolls
    13. Whittle
    14. Sharpen a knife/ax by hand
    15. Basic/advanced first aid including how to stitch
    16. Catch, clean and cook fish (includes fly fishing)
    17. Actually KNOW how to drive a 4X4
    18. Tread water (and not in a pool)
    19. Make a Swiss Seat and basic repelling
    20. Shoe a horse
    21. Take a shit in the woods
    22. How to quilt (don’t laugh, I was taught early)

    Please add your suggestions

  6. 6
    ohio right wing nut growls and barks:

    LC Light29ID @ #:

    Right on all accounts although I do take exception with changing an alternator, some can be a bitch, my sons car you need to remove the right front drive axle to remove the alt. which is a bit more complicated than most people would want to deal with.

    But good list anyway

  7. 7
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Bumper sticker: I’m voting for the Mormon not the moron

  8. 8
    kwongdzu growls and barks:

    Horseback riding has been used for a long time (several decades) as a therapy for people with neurologic issues. There are non profit organizations which offer this service to our military wounded. The people who attacked Ann Romney for her choice of exercise are demonstrating some serious ignorance. Horseback riding is not a therapy reserved for the uber rich. Dressage probably doesn’t have a huge following, and it may be an expensive hobby for enthusiasts. However, I can see how it would improve balance, strength, and endurance of the rider, and it makes complete sense – especially if it has been her lifelong interest – for Mrs. Romney to continue to enjoy her passion and to appreciate the therapeutic benefits.

    How much does Obama’s golf habit cost, and who is paying for it???

  9. 9
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    LC Light29ID @ #5:

    Let’s hear it for the Boy Scouts of America, I learned a LOT of these things through the BSA and Merit Badges!

    Some more:
    23) Navigate using the sun or stars
    24) fly a plane (you never know when it’ll come in handy!)
    25) basic chemistry – lots of useful things you can make (explosives is one of them)
    26) Morse code.
    27) Basic electronic for you more advanced types.
    28) how to store food long term without high technology.
    29) SERE
    30) FIND, filter, and store WATER
    31) Clean, card, spin wool or cotton and make cloth.
    32) Make paper from wood pulp/rags
    33) make ink for writing, quill pens are easy…
    34) Make electricity from either chemical reactions (DC), Solar (DC), or generators (AC). Making electricity has got to be one of the more useful skills, methinks…

    Some entries I’d change:
    1) Field dress an animal and cure/preserve their hides
    6) Basic cooking and canning.
    9) Basic sewing, with or without a sewing machine.
    10) Camp outdoors with a minimum of modern equipment
    18) Survival swimming

    I’m all into survival, have actually gone through the Survival School at Fairchild AFB as a Boy Scout back in the 60’s (before lawyers…) Being an engineer helps for the more advanced stuff which I’ve picked up and learned over the years. Having how-to books for some of the basic stuff is really necessary. Know how to make soap?

    Knowing a lot of these things will keep you alive. However, #11 I’d only use for making basic alcohol for medicinal/sterilization purposes, sorry. :em01:

  10. 10
    Secondmouse growls and barks:

    LC Light29ID @ #5:

    Good list. I would add “knot tying” and “navigate by compass”.

    Haven’t quilted or slaughtered a chicken yet, but there is one in the coop out back that likes to peck my ankles, so this could change any day…

  11. 11
    Secondmouse growls and barks:

    Igor, Imperial Booby @ #9:

    That’s what I get for not refreshing the screen – this broadens the list considerably. At this level, I would edit #30 to include collecting water, and I would add “Find edible vegetation in the wild” and “reload your own ammunition” also.

  12. 12
    LC CiSSnarl5.7 Chariot Builder growls and barks:

    The prog nazis get nothing right….

    While Dessage may be considered now to be a “elitist” undertaking – It has its roots in (memory serving) as far back as the Middle Ages – when Horses were actually a functional part of a warriors weapon, the steps and moves taught to a horse were part of a method of attack to be used against enemy mounted and unmounted troops. Over time with the demise of mounted troops – it has envovled into a art form vice a tool to wage warfare…swords to plowshares so to speak.

    I learned this little bit of triva one day while I worked on a horse farm years ago and made a sneering comment about Dessage being for sissys – the lady of the house took me to task and proceeded to give me a lesson in both the background of Dessage and – the best way to swallow a healthy heaping of crow.

  13. 13
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    Light and Igor, two books you might want to get, if you don’t already have them are: Outdoor Survival Skills by Larry Dean Olsen, and Stalking The Wild Asparagus by Euell Gibbons.
    Olsen taught outdoor survival at Brigham Young University. His students did not get to use lighters or matches to start their fires. He taught how to construct various traps and shelters, how to find water, how to prepare vegetation and animals to eat. He does tend to concentrate on plants in the southwest, but that is where his course was.

  14. 14

    Interesting article about the left, interesting shift into SERE stuff. We may need it, amazing how much of it I remember, and how much I need to refresh.

  15. 15
    LC_Salgak growls and barks:

    FLYING a plane is easy. LANDING one safely, that’s the real trick. . . :em07:

    Oh, and re: Fairchild and SERE school. Remember it well. January 1984. Brr. Took a month for all the feeling to get back to my fingertips after a week in the field, and those other fun times in Happy Valley (as we called Camp 3 of the People’s Democratic Republic. . . I’m sure the players have changed, but Camp 3 goes on. . . )

    Igor, Imperial Booby says:

    LC Light29ID @ #5:
    24) fly a plane (you never know when it’ll come in handy!)

  16. 16

    I’d like for those balloon brains to show up here in Texas and claim riding a horse is elitist. They may find themselves with a horseshoe print on their forehead.

    I also would like to add to the list……

    1. Bake your own Bread, English muffins, tortillas, etc.
    2. Make your own homemade cleaning products. (I’ve been making my own washing detergent for nearly two years. One batch will last me 7 months.)
    3. Have a food dehydrator on hand. You can dry and preserve any number of meats, vegetables and fruits this way.
    4. Know how to milk a cow. (by hand or use the sissy way with a milking machine) When you have a free supply of milk on hand, you can make your own butter, buttermilk, yogurt, sour cream, and even farmer’s cheese.
    5. Know how to knit and crochet. (no end to the wearable and useable items you can make.)

  17. 17

    LC Ogrrre says:

    two books you might want to get, if you don’t already have them are: Outdoor Survival Skills by Larry Dean Olsen, and Stalking The Wild Asparagus by Euell Gibbons.

    Another set of books everyone should either have on hand or have access to are the Foxfire series. Full to the brim of wonderful information. Everything from how to slaughter and preserve meats, to basic cooking recipes.

  18. 18
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    Make and use sling, bow and arrows, atlatl or other primitive weapon.
    Make black powder.

  19. 19
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    The outdoor survival skills and the books listed are good, but I’d suggest another:

    “Total Resistance”, by H. von Dach Bern. I’m thinking that one might come in handy in the People’s Republik.

  20. 20
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    Lady M, wasn’t Foxfire that stated that cat hide made good banjo sounding boards? :em01:

  21. 21

    LC Ogrrre says:

    Lady M, wasn’t Foxfire that stated that cat hide made good banjo sounding boards?

    I believe it said that in book 3. lol

  22. 22
    Lockpick growls and barks:

    “If you couldn’t steer into a Beaufort 9 in a 20 footer under sail and come out on the other side unscathed, you had just failed.”

    Does coming out of the other side in a 12 footer scathed, but under sail pass? My buddy and I had the rudder shear pin fail in the middle of the storm and that made for an interesting ride. I don’t know how many 360’s we did before we managed to reseat the rudder, but it was way too many.

    Somebody ought to take these lists and make them into a little test. I could pass most of the skills listed, but I have no clue on cloth making. But, I bet I could barter for it.

  23. 23
    Mattexian growls and barks:

    Before those media elites get their snoots out of joint, they might consider, a popular pasttime among some “urban” residents in the South is horseback riding! Nothing quite like a (mostly) quiet Saturday in the ‘hood, interrupted by the sound of hoofbeats on the asphalt.

  24. 24
    sablegsd growls and barks:

    demented, subretarded short bus driving demographic

    I think you must mean demented, subretarded short bus RIDING demographic. :em03:

    I love horses, had them most of my life. I prefer gaited myself, but to each his own. No longer have the money or the health to ride, but you learn to deal.

    You have to be seriously stupid, ignorant and uninformed not to know about riding therapy.

  25. 25
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Lockpick says:

    Does coming out of the other side in a 12 footer scathed, but under sail pass? My buddy and I had the rudder shear pin fail in the middle of the storm and that made for an interesting ride. I don’t know how many 360?s we did before we managed to reseat the rudder, but it was way too many.

    Holy Saint Brendan the Navigator!

    Yes, I’d damn well say that does qualify. Worst ever happened to me was a sprung forestay in a stiff gale. Needless to say, climbing the mast to rig an emergency stay with the gale showing no signs of abating was an — interesting experience, but we kind of needed the mast to stay attached. And it did. The weather gods must have approved of our persistence because for the rest of our journey, once we dared make sail again, the wind stayed favorable until we could reach port. Which was good, since the closest we dared go to the wind was a close reach.

    But in a 12 footer! I’m impressed!

  26. 26
    irish19 growls and barks:

    Here’s a list I’ve always been fond of.
    “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. ”
    From The Notebooks of Lazarus Long by Robert A. Heinlein. The other items are great. I like the addition of knitting. I started to teach myself once, but stopped. I’ve been meaning to take it up again. A very useful skill.

  27. 27
    emily_nelson growls and barks:

    If you can’t do all the stuff on the list does it mean you’re not human and/or useless? I’m not a liberal but I was raised in a city.

  28. 28
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    No, emily. It means your education has been neglected. As it said in Frazz, (one of my favorite cartoon strips) don’t mistake school for learning. The great thing about this kind of learning is that there are plenty of people who will teach you willingly if you ask. Some will teach you if you don’t ask, but that’s another story.

  29. 29
    emily_nelson growls and barks:

    Mark12A @ #:
    My hubby was raised right. He’s a country boy through and through. He spent summers as a teen working on the family farm. You could justifiably say that it’s in the back of beyond.

    One thing I’ve learned is that you never know what you can do until you try. In an emergency I’ve been amazed at what I can do because I must.