Wow. This Arab Spring is Turning Out WONDERFULLY

As we learn that the pisslamist fundamentalist Muslim Brotherhood just got their terrist-in-chief elected president of Egypt.

The Muslim Brotherhood’s Mohammed Morsi has officially won Egypt’s presidential election and will be the country’s next president, the electoral commission has announced.

Ah yes. The Arab Spring. Freedom-loving Egyptians cheering in the streets, updating their Facebook statuses and Tweeting about the glorious, democratic, peace-loving Utopia of Next Tuesday™ while pundits here in the West were having synchronized orgasms, predicting how this was surely the beginning of the end of pisslamist fundamentalism in the Middle East. “Just look at those totally secular, happy, wonderful people in the streets!”

And here we were, His Imperial Majesty and other contributors to the Imperial HQ, grumbling and moaning that, in all of the history of mankind it was never really important who started an uprising and regime change, all that really mattered was who had the infrastructure and organization to take over once the dust settled.

“Tut, tut. Why do you hate freedom so much? Don’t you agree that that horrid Mubarak, that Evil Tyrant, had to go?”

Beside the point. At least if you have the IQ required to boil water. Sure, getting rid of tyrants is certainly a worthwhile pursuit (unless said tyrant happens to be a certain Imperial Sith Emperor), but that’s only half the equation or less: What you have to ask yourself whenever somebody odious is about to be removed from power is “who is going to replace him?” and, even more importantly, “is the replacement going to be an improvement?”

So now a dictator has been removed (yay!) who was in our pocket and who had a peace treaty with our vital ally Israel, and been replaced with a bunch of bearded, savage, medieval fanatics whose most important goal in life is to kill the infidel in general and the Jews in particular.

Not so much “yay.” But, but, but… FREEDOM!

If you mean freedom to stone people, freedom to burn down churches and murder the congregations, freedom to rape female journalists in the streets then, by all means. And get the fuck out of our country while you’re at it.

So the Middle East is about to become even more interesting than it already is. Which gives all of us one more reason to get rid of Hussein bin-Bama in November, because if you think that he’s going to lift one little finger for our faithful ally Israel when the mooselimb shit hits the fan, then we’ve got an almost finished but fully operational Death Star we’d like to sell you. Cheap.

And if you’re Jewish and you DON’T vote against boy king Obama in November, then you really need to ask for your foreskin back.


(Comrade Petukh Ogabe could not be reached for comment as he was heroically braving the heat for his 101st game of golf. No, seriously, we’re not kidding you).


  1. 1
    tweell growls and barks:

    “Our capital shall be Jerusalem, Allah willing.”

    Good luck with that one, rage boys. Of course, they figure their buddy Obama will ensure that Israel stands alone. Silly RIFs, Obama’s bus has room under it for you too.

  2. 2
    Lady H growls and barks:

    “Our capital shall be Jerusalem, Allah willing.”

    Highly doubt that, dude.

  3. 3
    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

    Also, in Egypt, a member of the righteous religion of peace beat his pregnant wife to death because she didn’t vote for the scumbag.

  4. 4
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    Hang on, fellow Rotties, the Egyptian Military hasn’t “spoken” yet. And THEY are the real powers-that-be in the country, and THEY don’t like the Pisslamists any more than the next rational person.
    Holy cow, is this gonna be interesting!

    “May you live in interesting times!” — ancient Yiddish curse.

  5. 5
    LibraryGryffon growls and barks:

    How would they justify taking “Palestinian” land for the capital of Egypt? Shouldn’t the UN be lodging formal complaints about this? They certainly would if we decided that we wanted Mexico City to be the new US capital.

    Which just goes to prove what an evil farce the whole “Palestinian People” thing has always been.

    However, given who they’d actually have to fight for it, if they were really, really lucky, they might pull out a Phyrric victory.

  6. 6
    readerjp growls and barks:

    From the liberal Jewish daily paper:

    Obama speaks with Egypt’s Mohamed Morsi about democracy, shared interests

    WASHINGTON (JTA) — President Obama called the winner and the loser of Egypt’s presidential election and emphasized preserving mutual interests, an allusion to the peace treaty with Israel and strong U.S.-Egyptian ties.

    In his conversation with the victor, the Muslim Brotherhood’s Mohamed Morsi, “The president underscored that the United States will continue to support Egypt’s transition to democracy and stand by the Egyptian people as they fulfill the promise of their revolution,” the White House said in a statement. “He emphasized his interest in working together with President-elect Morsi, on the basis of mutual respect, to advance the many shared interests between Egypt and the United States.”

    Israeli officials have expressed concern, based on the Muslim Brotherhood’s election rhetoric and recent unrest on the Egyptian-Israeli border, that Morsi would lead a rollback from his country’s landmark 1979 peace treaty with the Jewish state.

    And what Arab would lie?

    From the conservative Jewish daily:

    Don’t prejudge Morsi win in Egypt: top US senator

    A top US lawmaker urged the United States “not to prejudge” the results of Egyptian elections after Islamists took the presidency of the Arab world’s most populous nation for the first time Sunday.

    “Obviously, American concerns about the Muslim Brotherhood’s past statements and positions are widely shared and well understood,” Democratic Senator John Kerry said in a statement hailing the “historic” election.

    And in a nod to Washington’s chief concerns with a Muslim Brotherhood win, Kerry said Morsi was “committed to protecting fundamental freedoms, including women’s rights, minority rights, the right to free expression and assembly, and that he understood the importance of Egypt’s post-revolutionary relationships with America and Israel.”

    Source: AFP (

    Brain-dead Kerry. Does he really believe that the Muslim Brotherhood is going to institute freedom and equality?

    BTW, does everyone know that Hillary Clinton’s top advisor is the niece of the head of the Muslim Brotherhood, and the daughter of the head of the Muslim Sisterhood? She’s in Jidda, SA, that bastion of women’s rights and freedom. Clinton’s advisor was also married to Anthony Wiener – yet Muslims kill women who marry out of the faith. So what’s that all about?

    And finally, Clinton LOVES her and her mom.

    In February 2010, Clinton spoke at Abedin’s college, where she was first introduced by Abedin and then praised the work of the terror-tied professor:

    “I have to say a special word about Dr. Saleha Abedin,” Clinton said. “You heard her present the very exciting partnerships that have been pioneered between colleges and universities in the United States and this college. And it is pioneering work to create these kinds of relationships.

    “But I have to confess something that Dr. Abedin did not,” Clinton continued, “and that is that I have almost a familial bond with this college. Dr. Abedin’s daughter, one of her three daughters, is my deputy chief of staff, Huma Abedin, who started to work for me when she was a student at George Washington University in Washington, D.C.”

    The hypocrisy is sickening.

    [Sorry about the Akismet holdup, readerjp — Emp.M.]

  7. 7
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    readerjp says:

    A top US lawmaker urged the United States “not to prejudge” the results of Egyptian elections after Islamists took the presidency of the Arab world’s most populous nation for the first time Sunday.

    “Obviously, American concerns about the Muslim Brotherhood’s past statements and positions are widely shared and well understood,” Democratic Senator John Kerry said in a statement hailing the “historic” election.

    No, by all means let’s not “prejudge” the MOOselimb Brotherhood based on such flimsy evidence as 1,400 years of history. It’s not like pisslam has a history of mass murder, medievalism, primitive behavior, sawing off the heads of anybody who don’t worship their moon god, utter resistance to technological and humanitarian advance beyond what was fashionable in the 7th century, treating women worse than cattle, a pathological hatred of Jews etc.

    After all, what’s a mere fourteen centuries? Surely it’s not enough to be “judgmental?”

    Fuck you, John al-Querry, and fuck your entire family line for at least 66 generations. May their hopes be dashed, may they be ridden by diseases, may they never know a friend, may every endeavor they embark upon be marred by failure and tragedy, may your family name be forever cursed and eradicated from the Book of Life and may H’Shem Himself bless us with amnesia should anyone ever ask us if you and your kin were ever members of the human race.