Oh Fuck Yourself Already, You Dribbling Dickwart

Found a response to Mayor Bloomtard’s cup fascism from FOX News’ Dr. Manny at the Imperial Sestrichka’s place.

Looks like FOX was trying to fill their Obligatory Dickhead Diversity Quota the day they hired Manny.

Personally, I think it’s about time. Despite the fact that I hate government regulating how we behave, this one makes a lot of sense to me.

And right off the bat the Puling Pudwhacker shorts the logic circuits. Despite the fact that you allegedly hate government regulating you’re OK with government doing just that because, in this case, government regulation of personal behavior “makes a lot of sense to you?” So what other regulatory fascist ideas that you allegedly “hate” would make a lot of sense to you, and just how the fuck is it even relevant whether it does or not? Either you’re for it or you’re against it.

It’s like saying “I’m a Christian, but this whole Christ as the Messiah business just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, so I guess I’ll just say that he wasn’t, but I’m still very much a Christian!”

Yeah. Fuck you. In the kidneys. With a hacksaw.

For decades, the sizes of drinks and food have gotten out of proportion.

Says fucking who, and who died and made that moron king?

Foreigners who come as visitors are often amazed by the portions of the foods that we serve in comparison to the rest of the world.

Oh foreigners, that’s who! And would you care to explain to us just why the everloving fuck we should give two shits about what the rest of the world think of our serving sizes? We didn’t realize that dumb furreigners got a vote in this country, nor did we know that emulating the rest of the world is what America is REALLY all about. We sort of thought that we fought a whole war to get foreigners to mind their own fucking beeswax.

And of course, the fault lies in ourselves, because we keep asking for more and more,

That is, of course, assuming that wanting more of what you like is a “fault”, which is obviously one of your core beliefs. Provided, of course, that what we want more of is something that you, Dr. Manny, disapprove of.

You clearly don’t quite grok the whole idea of “personal liberty”, do you Manny-boy? Unless the way people exercise it is in a fashion that “makes sense” to you, of course, you being the all-knowing, all-wise arbiter of what is right and proper that you are.

and companies are more than happy to oblige and find interesting ways to sell more.

Are you talking about companies happy to produce goods that people actually want? The HORROR of it! Stop the INSANITY! Wouldn’t it be much better if somebody — wait, we can feel an idea coming on here — say the government, instead told all of the companies what to produce and how much of it? In order to not slow things down too much, they could do so every, say, maybe five years or so? What? Somebody already tried that and it didn’t work out too well? Pssh. They just didn’t do it right, but we will!

We’ve come to celebrate restaurants that glorify high-fat, nutritionally deficit foods. Take the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas, for example, which features ‘Triple Bypass Burgers’, and has landed in the news more than once this year after customers collapsed while eating.

And you know what? (That was a rhetorical question, Mewling Manny, because you obviously don’t) One of the main reasons that the Heart Attack Grill became such a huge hit wasn’t that people were craving ‘Triple Bypass Burgers’ — although we have to admit that we’ve become interested since we learned of it — it was because people were sick and fucking tired of governments, health-freaks, well-meaning idiots like you etc. constantly nagging, haranguing, harassing and pestering the shit out of us about us not understanding what’s good for us.

So somebody finally had enough of the bull and said ‘fuck you, Food Nazis, we’ll eat whatever the fuck we like.’

I’m all for a free market economy, but at what cost?

Oh cut it out with all of the “I’m all for, but…” butt-monkeying about, because you’re obviously lying out both sides of your mouth. Nobody’s buying it. You’re all for a free market as long as it’s not actually, you know, FREE?

There have been studies that have found correlations between food portion sizes and rates of obesity, blood pressure and heart disease. A report by the CDC found portions increased 75 percent between 1977 and 1991 – unsurprisingly, we’ve observed huge jumps in obesity rates as well.

There have also been studies finding that the more firemen were present at a fire, the larger the damages were. Clearly we ought to abolish fire departments everywhere or, perhaps, insist that only one fireman be sent out to each fire.

But all that aside, are you really telling us that somebody made a study proving that if you eat more, you get fatter? Well slap us on the dick and call us Billy Jeff, we could have told you that for free!

And your response to this is that we should deny people the right to eat what they want? Oh yes, you surely hate government regulating personal behavior, yes-sirree you do!

Studies have shown that people with more on their plates eat nearly 50 percent more than people who are served smaller portions.

Did anybody make a follow-up study to determine whether the ones eating less (because they had been given less) were still hungry after they’d cleaned their plate, licked it and eaten the silverware?

But still… BRILLIANT, Manny! In order to keep people from eating so much, we just have to take their food away. How long did it take you to come up with that brilliant conclusion? We already know that it took you at least two studies to get pointed in that direction. What are you a doctor of anyway? Interpretative folk dancing?

So, in this case, I’m going to support Mayor Bloomberg. I hope other states follow suit, and hopefully we will all learn that moderation of anything is part of a good lifestyle.

Don’t kill the messenger. Applaud the message.

If your “message” is that you want to control how much I am allowed to stuff in my pie hole, paid for with my own money, then I heartily recommend that you don’t play a messenger boy around my neighborhood because… Let’s just say that I won’t be applauding. You do the math.

You fascist cuntmuffin.

Thatisall.

14 comments

  1. 1
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    So, in this case, I’m going to support Mayor Bloomberg. I hope other states follow suit, and hopefully we will all learn that moderation of anything is part of a good lifestyle.

    …at gunpoint.

    Don’t kill the messenger.

    Kneecap ‘em and send him back rolled up in a rug.

  2. 2
    DJ Allyn growls and barks:

    I must say, I don;t even have to read your text, Misha, the friggin headline is a masterpiece.

    Should I bother to read the rest? Naw. I will just comment on the headline.

    You DO have a way with words….. :em01: :em05:

  3. 3
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    DJ Allyn says:

    I must say, I don;t even have to read your text, Misha, the friggin headline is a masterpiece.

    Should I bother to read the rest? Naw. I will just comment on the headline.

    You DO have a way with words….. :em01: :em05:

    Thanks, Deej.

    I aim to please :)

    P.S.: Just what part of the code for this site do I have to fiddle with to make the “Fresh Meat” category hold 10 posts? That way new posts wouldn’t be stomped below the fold when myself and the Imperial Staff feel prolific. It used to be a simple setting in the back end.
    Emperor Misha I recently posted..Mitt Romney About to Destroy the Environment!My Profile

  4. 4
  5. 5
    DJ Allyn growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I says:

    P.S.: Just what part of the code for this site do I have to fiddle with to make the “Fresh Meat” category hold 10 posts? That way new posts wouldn’t be stomped below the fold when myself and the Imperial Staff feel prolific. It used to be a simple setting in the back end.

    Sorry, it is baked into the theme itself. I could change it and upload it to the package that he is going to upload later.

    The question is, how often does everyone get frisky and start posting at the same time?

    I thought about converting you over to a magazine style theme, where everyone had his own little section to post to. I can brand one and see how you’d like it.

  6. 6
    DJ Allyn growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I @ #3:

    I just uploaded the FINAL VERSION for download that includes a change to the theme that will show :

    FOUR posts in “Fresh Meat”
    SIX posts in “More Kibble”
    SIX posts in “Older Chewing Bones”

    I would suggest that when someone writes the long, epic posts, that they use the <!–more–> button to break up the post. Let the reader open it up if they want to read more.

    Most people come to a website and glance at the headlines and read the excerpts. They quickly scroll through the front page to see if something interests them. If they have to scroll through two or three LOOOOOONG posts, they are likely to just move on to something else.

  7. 7
    Darth Venomous growls and barks:

    I just uploaded the FINAL VERSION for download that includes a change

    Guess it’s a Damn Good Thing™ I happened by, hm? :em08:

  8. 8
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    Sire, as always I stand in awe of your masterful use of invective. However I do think you are giving this Dr Manny, too much credit.

  9. 9
    DJ Allyn growls and barks:

    Guess it’s a Damn Good Thing™ I happened by, hm? :em08:

    Hey, I’m not the one who came in after the barn was slammed shut and asked for a change. You work in IT, you MUST be used to that by now… :em05:

  10. 10
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    Bloomturds speeches are redolent of those words to the old song, “in heaven there is no beer, that’s why we drink it here.” Not that NYC is anything like heaven as I’m not destined for either place. The thing with New Yawkahs is their Damned fashion fetishes. Their Towne is the center of the universe and the real issue to them is about who inhabits Their space, what they look like, believe, and how they act. That’s why buggery is fine, but enjoying a cigarette after isn’t. We have most of the same kind of desires for the way We want Our world to be, but in the end, it’s simply about having the muscle to get their way. It’s them or Us. The Liberal agenda has social costs the rest of us wind up paying for in treasury, property, and blood. Our agenda doesn’t injure or hurt anybody. The only imposition is risk relative to circumstance and accepting responsibility for the results. And still, they want to get rid of us. Bloomy should give it a big rethink. Without adults around, nobody would clean up Their Mess.

    On another note, DC had mention of the next great bumper sticker/billboard slogan: Obama 2012, hoax and chains
    That is all. I’m off to Quiktrip for a 64oz Cherry Coke.

  11. 11
    sablegsd growls and barks:

    Out fucking standing! :em01: :em01:

  12. 12
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    So, in this case, I’m going to support Mayor Bloomberg. I hope other states follow suit

    Being Mayuh doesn’t make him Guvuhnuh–even though his city’s more populous than some states–so “other states” doesn’t follow.

  13. 13
    Darth Venomous growls and barks:

    You work in IT, you MUST be used to that by now…

    Well, yes & no. I get the occasional “oh, by the way…”, but as a Break/Fix techie, it doesn’t happen to me nearly as much as it would to, say, a C++ proggie.

    OTOH, when the security/firewall progs do a last-minute rewrite of the AV config file, and it winds up wiping out a few thousand PC directories…that’s when I hear it…

  14. 14

    I LOVE “Dribbling Dickwart,” and am reserving the right to appropriate it whenever I’m feeling froggy! :em05:

    With proper attribution, of course!