Chubby’s At It Again.
Y’all remember my local Yankee transplant Frank “chubby” Cerabino? Well, he’s back with more GFW brilliance.
How did we let this happen?
By allowing damned yankees to cross our border and squat?
Florida is usually in the vanguard when it comes to fetishizing guns.
Awfully quick to make a sexual reference there chubby. I recently read that part of the psychology of a hoplophobe was pure projection, as evidenced by them constantly accusing gun owners of compensating for a lack of endowment. I do believe we may have patient zero here. Someone send him some penis enlargement emails, STAT.
We used to be able to take pride in knowing that this is where the NRA gets to act out its wildest fantasies.
If by “wildest fantasies” you mean rolling back statist utopian dreams of an unarmed herd of sheeple, then yup, let the fantasies roll.
It’s where the stand-your-ground law first took root,
Not quite, but nice use of the “journalistic creed”, otherwise known as just making shit up.
and it’s the home of this year’s Republican National Convention, where it will be illegal to have a long piece of string, a piece of wood or a squirt gun outside the Tampa convention hall, but OK to be there with your loaded firearm.
Would you be happier if they were unloaded? We can arrange that. Not sure you’d like the results.
So how could we let Utah, Arizona and Indiana get the jump on us when it comes to designating an official state gun?
The fuck nugget actually has a point, we did sorta drop the ball there.
Especially Arizona, which found it meaningful to honor the firearm just months after U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, one of its members of Congress, was shot in the head with a gun legally purchased by deranged citizen Jared Lee Loughner, who killed six and injured 15 outside a shopping center in Tucson.
Arizona, showing an uncharacteristic measure of restraint, decided to honor the Colt Single Action Army Revolver – the weapon of choice for the mass murder of Navajos in another century – rather than the semi-automatic Glock that Loughner used for mass murder at the shopping center.
Classy move.
But not as classy as you politicizing an evil act perpetrated by one of your fellow travelers.
Arizona’s designation of the Colt last year followed Utah’s selection of a Browning automatic pistol.
And wrong yet again. It was the Colt 1911 you dumb ass. The only similarity is that they were both designed by The Great One, John Moses Browning, a prominent Utah citizen who designed many of the weapons we used to win WWII, and the most beloved pistol to ever serve the US Military, which was another reason it was chosen by Utah. You see, unlike the facist yankee hell hole you fled, only to infest us, the good people of Utah understand history.
And two months ago, Indiana’s lawmakers bestowed official firearm status to the Grouseland Rifle, an antique made by one of Indiana’s first militia leaders, a guy who made his mark by – you guessed it – killing the Native Americans who were there first.
Just joining in the fun that the Indians had been having for thousand of years, you know being there first and all.
So Florida could go the historical route, and pick a firearm that was used to shoot the Seminoles, who had the nerve to be here first,
And another swing and a miss. The Seminoles weren’t here first dumbass. If you were to read Florida history you would know that Florida was largely unpopulated when the Spaniards landed here. The Seminoles are actually Cherokee who fled to north Florida from Georgia and Alabama after the Cherokee wars. Ignorance is a sad thing, especially coming from someone who will prattle on and on about his superiority while he ridicules his adoptive state. Since you are so hung up on who was were first, we were here before you, so get the fuck out of my state and stop lowering our collective IQ.
or perhaps we could go the contemporary route by honoring the Kel-Tec 9 millimeter handgun, which is made in Florida.
The Kel-Tec is the lightweight, inexpensive weapon that Florida’s most famous gun owner, George Zimmerman, used three months ago to kill Trayvon Martin, an unarmed teenager falsely assumed to be “up to no good” while walking in a Sanford neighborhood.
You looked at any of the evidence in the Zimmerman/Martin case lately chubbs? Might want to think twice about that word “falsely”. And BTW you need to re-read your talking points. ” lightweight, inexpensive weapon” is supposed to be called a “Saturday Night Special”. Get the hoplophobe terminology right, m’kay?
In other places, that might make the Kel-Tec notorious, but Zimmerman is getting $1,000 a day in contributions to his legal fund, presumably from gun enthusiasts who think he chose a fine way to settle a confrontation he started.
He settled it the only way that the thug slamming his head into the concrete allowed him.
Other guns to consider might be those that would be useful in killing the official state wildlife. The important thing is to make a quick, rash decision on this.
Just like the rash decision your momma made when she didn’t swallow, ensuring that we could be the recipients of your wonderful benevolence and magnificent intelligience.
If Florida doesn’t jump on the official state firearm bandwagon quickly, we could lose our status as an NRA playground. Other states are eager to fill the void.
Pennsylvania is looking to join the list of official gun states. And Texas is bound to be in the mix, seeing as how legislators in that state have found another novel way to express their gun love: by not allowing state university IDs to be used as voter identification, but allowing concealed weapons permits as valid ID at the polls.
Considering that CW’s can only be issued to non-felons, kinda makes sense to me.
See what we’re up against?
Indeed we do Frankie.
With the annual firearms death rate in Florida at 12.4 for every 100,000 people, we’re in the upper echelon of deadliest gun states (14th out of 50). But without an official gun, we’re not exactly standing our ground.
And once we have an official state firearm, we can move onto other similar designations, such as official state cancer.
I nominate Frankie “Chubbie” Cerabino and all his fellow damn yankee transplants trying to do to our state what they’ve already done to the North East. And I suggest 5.56 chemotherapy.
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So…that’s a .0124% (Yes, 1 HUNDREDTH of 1 percent) firearms death rate.
And wanna bet that includes firearm suicides and accidents as well?
I think I’d be more worried about something that’s LIKELY to cause my death – like say, some drunken liberal idiot behind the wheel of a car, or an unlawfully armed felon released under some idiotic liberal program…
Orion
A classic Crunch…you should send it to him…….
I truly get a kick out of these sexually fixated fools. He sounded desperate. Now what we need here in Kalifornia is a good powerful rifle, say a forty-five seventy or some such, to commemerate having had the meanest critter in the lower forty-eight, the California grizzly.
I laughed, I cried, I ROFL’ed, I bust yet another damn rib!
Awesome, brother! You wield the Imperial Fisk like a true champion!
One minor thing I’d like to add to this masterpiece is this:
A WHAT? What the fucking, fuckity-fuck-fucked-up-fuck is an “automatic pistol?”
Oh wait, we know. It’s what the Lady Kimber was once when His Imperial Meddlesomeness tried to fiddle with the trigger on her and he ended up letting off a string of three on one trigger pull, only one of which hit the target. Thankfully, due to a loving G-d who loves us far more than we deserve, nothing other than the ceiling of the firing range was damaged. Apart from our personal pride, that is.
Emperor Misha I recently posted..Chubby’s At It Again.
Don’t go up in flames until you get to the end of this… It’ll be worth it, you’ll get a chuckle, and then, I swear, you will think about it…
Go ahead and take the guns… But take ‘em all, from everybody…
… We’ve got swords, and axes. Not wimpy wood axes, I’m talking the bearded kinds carried by Leif and the boys.
The guy on the horse with the axe in that Frazzeta painting, the guy with the horns on his helmet? Yeah, I know a guy who looks just like him… Same overall attitude too…
So take the guns, you liberal sheep…
…It won’t ensure your safety.
Not. One. Fucking. Bit…
(Okay, sarcasm off, and I’ll use the 3rd box option same as the rest of you, but tell me it wasn’t at least a little fun to contemplate…)
I must say I’m a little proud that this dolt chose to lump Pennsylvania in with Florida, Arizona, Utah and Texas….. Kind of makes me think we’re on the right track. Now if we can just find a way to change the course of the Delaware River and put Philly on the Jersey side we’d be all set. Hell they would retroactively move the Mason-Dixon line to PA’s northern boarder!
Hvy Gunner 0331 says:
Right you are. I do so love my crusader sword. Lovingly recreated down to the last detail, sharp as a razor, not a “display” weapon, and made of the kind of steel that the ones who originally designed it could only dream of. Old meets new, and it feels perfect in my hands. If only my forebears could have had those.
Not that I’m daft enough to prefer it over my firearms, but those retards thinking that grabbing the guns will ensure their safety had better think again. Those of us who joined the brotherhood of the warrior learned to kill with just about anything, including our bare hands.
And, more importantly, because there are a lot of martial arts mall ninjas around who have amazing skills in that area too, we learned how to switch off remorse and hesitation when we needed to. It is known by many names, some call it The Machine, but it is the single most important factor. It doesn’t matter if you’re a ninth level black belt, if you haven’t been introduced to The Machine, your admittedly impressive skills won’t do you a bit of good when push comes to shove, because they’ll all shut down.
A firearm is just a tool like so many others. It makes your task easier, but no matter how many of them you own, if you have not learned how to embrace The Machine, they won’t do you a damn bit of good. And if you have, they won’t really be necessary.
The flaccid, pacifist leftist weenies don’t understand that, just as they don’t understand religion, honor, duty, sacrifice or anything else of the sort.
And I, for one, pray most fervently that they’ll never have to find out just how disastrously wrong they are, for that will be a calamity for all of us. Nobody will gain from that, we will all be diminished in some way if that resource is tapped into.
May Almighty G-d, or whichever deity you worship or don’t worship, I respect them all though I follow only one, grant us that November comes and passes and that this great nation will never have to reach that point.
Emperor Misha I recently posted..Chubby’s At It Again.
This guy is a total douche bubble. 5.56 chemo is right.
Darth Misha:
N’amen!
*sniffle* One of the better bits of writing from Doc Russia. I so miss the man’s wit.
As for Cerabino? Bah. There are so many places in the U.S. that are disarmed to the level he seems to prefer. And since he’s a writer, he can just email his tangents from there.
I’m thinking 5.56 chemo would be a touch weak in this instance.
7.62.
LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician recently posted..And the other “Really?”
I’ve got a nice Leuterit sword, which is sharp enough at the point to shave with, and strong enough (they tell me) to cut through something flaccid and useless, like Chubby’s neck. It hangs on my wall, and with a little practice I’d be pretty dangerous to stand close to if you had evil intent. Also, Chubby, I’ve got a crossbow and a shitload of bolts for it. It’s strong enough to put steel all the way through you and your retarded twin (although I can’t tell you apart) and then stick into a tree on the back side.
The firearms don’t make us dangerous. They taught me a thousand years ago that the mind was the most important weapon in your arsenal, and that wars are fought in the will. You liberal, fascist assholes who believe you can stand us up against a wall or put us in cattle cars should probably remember that. Three hundred Spartans stood against an army of a million Persians and piled up a mountain of dead before they made the crossing, and there was not a firearm among them…just cold steel, courage, and iron determination. Those have not gone by the wayside.
I’m thinking that a novel bit of radiation therapy would cure this particular journalistic cancer that Crunchie has so thoroughly fisked. A few doses of high-speed depleted uranium should do the trick nicely.
With all due respect to technical superiority, range and accuracy, and in keeping with my personal tendency of not overspending on weapons and ammo to effectively achieve desired results… THIS 300 year old piece that’s still in it’s original duty station at the Castillo de San Marco should represent Florida just fine.
40 pounds of howdy!
She put’s the OH! in O-LA!
Well, seeing as how we’re all talking about our firearms supplements, perhaps I should post pics of my thrusting axe at some point… For those of you who might wonder, it is my opinion that the Vikings got it somewhat wrong (Oh yeah, I may catch a bit of flame for this) what they SHOULD have done is flip their axe head upside down, so instead of the pointy bit facing down as in a bearded axe, the pointy bit would be forward past the haft, to be used for thrusting, while still preserving all the wonderful hackiness that the axe-men among us love so very much.
Mine has a 16×8″ head, and a 36″ steel (schedule 60 hydraulic pipe) haft with a mushroom head pommel that balances it perfectly. Pretty much whatever I hit with it ain’t gonna be getting back up again.
I just love the way the left talks violence towards their political enemies, then eitehr becomes indignant or wimpers off if the favor is returned.
A message for ya’ Frank….”Hey Fats, just look at my new rifle, .308 as fast as I can pull the trigger…just think of all the libs…… and so little ammo. Damn shame, truly it is…..
“Sigh” blew the spelling on this one, excitement and all you know……
Humans have been killing other humans since Cain smote Abel. Firearms are just the most efficient means at our disposal. Before the firearm there was steel (well all the other metals as well) before that was stone and wood, and before that was the bare hand.
The other weapons are still al widely available, in greater numbers and ranging in quality from “piss poor” to “holy damn that gives me a hard on.” Thinking the removal of firearms will remove violence is like thinking removing the porn stars will keep Bill Clinton faithful.
So, go ahead and make all the snide remarks ya want chubb. After all, the psychobabblers love to say that sarcasm is the sign of a weak mind.
Emperor Misha I says:
I’m a 4th degree and I agree wholeheatedly. You can throw blank kicks all day long and fly through the air with the greatest of ease blah blah blah. But if you can’t actually bring yourself to hit someone it won’t matter. The will to kill must be present if you truly wish to live through a deadly confrontation.
LC Crunchie,
I wonder if the Chubster even knows the difference between a rifle and a gun?
Also, if Florida is going to get on the bandwagon and belatedly select a State Gun, might I volunteer a suggestion.
It appears that Ma Deuce has not yet been claimed, nor the Thompson Sub Machine Gun. Either would be a fine choice. And would make Chubster’s head just explode.
Just for the benefit of knowledge, a firearms license is considered a valid ID document for many uses even in Italy, which is not exactly a gun-friendly country.
Not many people know that, but it’s true.
FabioC. recently posted..Questo e Quello
I went to the column in question and found many of the comments actually skewered Chubby. Maybe he should take his yankee ass back to New York or where ever he’s from.
I thought Floridah was in the vanguard when it comes to pain pills.
Off topic…… but this is great….