It’s May Day Comrades

Posted by LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. on May 1, 2012

And here’s how I plan to celebrate, just to be sure I do it in a proper right wing death beast fashion that honors the wishes and sensibilities of our leftie friends.

I’m scheduled for a 12 hour shift. I’m going to show up an hour early and leave an hour late. Did I mention that I’m salaried.

I will pull over every car with an Obummer bumper sticker and issue them a citation for DWTC, Driving While Terminally Cluefucked.

I will pull over every Prius, Volt and Smartcar I see and berate the drivers for being pretension dumbfucks. I will leave my patrol car in neutral with a box of lead ammo (in honor of the envirofreaks) on the gas pedal at an even 4000 RPMs or so while I do it. If the driver is over 50 and has a pony tail, an earring, or any type of peace symbol in view, I will beat them about the head, neck, chest and breast area with their own spleen (or maybe their, duodenum, it depends on my mood).

On every call I go to, the first words out of my mouth will be “Where da hoodies and grills at? I gots me some profilin ta do.”

Just for Moochelle Antoinette, I will eat the greasiest cheeseburger I can find, sans the bun, with a side of fries smothered in cheese, and a chocolate shake for dessert. I will only eat half of it and throw the rest out. Then I will order seconds and eat all of it. I will buy a six pack of Pepsi Throwback (made with real sugar), drink it all, and throw the plastic bottles in the garbage can. I will make sure that there is a recycling bin in reach when I do so, and if possible in sight of a treehumper.

I will print every email that I get and throw it away. The emails with the obnoxious “consider the environment before printing this email”signature line I will print twice, make 10 copies, and throw them all in the trash can. Again, with a recycling bin in reach.

I will visit my bank. Just to say “Hello, thanks for being capitalists!”

I will leave my car running all day, even when I’m at my desk.

I will buy 100 watt incandescent light bulbs, and while I’m in that aisle I will berate anyone who even looks at a mercury filled “hazmat in waiting” bulb.

If I should happen across any Occutards, I will give them a “brief” lesson on what an oppressor really is.

“Excessive force” will be an objective minimum standard.

I will replace our toilet paper with copies of “Das Kapital” and “Dreams of My Father”. I will then by my entire department lunch from that roadside taco stand with the questionable Health Department certificate.

For the feminazi’s I will eat a delicious meal prepared by my wife, who I will insist cook it while barefoot. I will then enjoy a beer and ceegar while she does the dishes and cleans the kitchen.

For the fag, trannie, carpet muncher, what ever community, I will have heterosexual, objectifying, misogynist, sex. Lot’s of it. And I will do it well, exceptionally well.

I’m sure I will think of more as the day goes on. Any of y’all have any ideas?

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Delftsman3 growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 05:06

Well, I see you still have “the magnificent ass” :em05:
Delftsman3 recently posted..Quote of the Day

single stack growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 06:10

Your wife will be the judge of that. :em01:

Mark12A growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 06:19

Need a ride-along?

I can operate the siren as we drive slowly in front of occutards with bullhorns.

Plus, any arrestees we put in the back seat…we can leave them handcuffed there with the heater running and the windows rolled up while we interview witnesses…

JakeTheSnake growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 06:32

Great ideas!! Since it’ll be near 90 today around Nashville, I believe I’ll enjoy a pleasant 62 here in the house.

LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 07:21

For the feminazi’s I will eat a delicious meal prepared by my wife, who I will insist cook it while barefoot

The only way you could do this better is if your wife was about 8 months pregnant. Then you could take a photo of the occasion and fax it to the NAG. This would make their day! :em05:

LC Jackboot IC/A growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 07:36

I will have heterosexual, objectifying, misogynist, sex. Lot’s of it. And I will do it well, exceptionally well.

That’s not what the one-legged, one-eyed, midget hooker I saw last week said.
LC Jackboot IC/A recently posted..Our most precious blood

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 08:17

single stack says:

Your wife will be the judge of that

Who says she’s gonna be there? :em05:
I keed, I keed. She’s always invited.
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..It’s May Day Comrades

May 1, 2012 at 08:20

LC Jackboot IC/A says:

That’s not what the one-legged, one-eyed, midget hooker I saw last week said.

I thought I had buried her. :em03:
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..It’s May Day Comrades

L.C. Mope growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 08:21

Hasn’t Helen Thomas been thru enough?

Don’t forget to thank the guy with the Allen West bumper sticker doing 120mph for the Glowbull Worming for me. It’s been damn cold in these parts lately.

Radical Redneck growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 08:26

Target…
Rich…
Environment… :em01:

All I can think of is the epic scene of “Dawn of the Dead” where the whole family goes out to drink and shoot zombies! “no no don’t lead ‘em so much!” :em05:

LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 08:36

Sir Crunchie of the alleged magnificent ass, interesting list of items. Pretty well covers the owsies’ complaints. You might also try having as many lights on today as possible. Go to the store and see if you can find something in styrofoam (maybe pick up the biggest, thickest, juiciest steak you can find for dinner). Be sure to fire up the charcoal grill to cook it. If you invest, you might also consider buying a share or two in an oil company.

That’s all I can think of right now.
LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. recently posted..Today is Pearl Harbor Day

dasbow growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 08:41

Make sure to leave the ‘turtle choker’ on the six pack.

LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 09:48

Well Crunch, you seem to have the beses covered. As for me, I got jury duty today……I get kicked off, first, they won’t let you in carrying a rope, confiscated my pocketknife and told me Crime and Punishment was not necessarily an appropriate read…..

bloodyspartan growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 09:53

Don’t forget the shrooms on the Burger

May 1, 2012 at 09:56

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. @ #:
I dug her up part of my new found MOOSeLIMP faith

MarineVet1995 growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 10:16

Not eating a cheeseburger… gonna fire up the grill and barbecue some of the poor, defenseless bambi my son shot… with an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL (did I spell that right?) gun!

BigDogg growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 10:19

Dammmmmn, Crunch … I haven’t laughed this hard in a while. Thanks for all of the excellent ideas! :em05:

NR Pax growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 10:26

Any of y’all have any ideas?

1. I am going to go to work.
2. I am going to do a good job and earn my money.
3. I am going to refuse to apologize for being who I am.

I think that covers their hot buttons, since I’m a straight white male.

LC Roguetek growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 10:28

ha, pikers. I started may day early, by shooting at possums with a .308 assault rifle, from my front door, in my underpants, at around midnight. alcohol was not involved.

oddly, the neighbors have yet to complain.

Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 11:26

Have fun, good Sir, and don’t forget to profile :em01:

Pull over a few carsful of Mexicans, just for giggles! Ask ‘em, “Where were you born??” :em05:

Lady H growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 13:18

Are you allowed to take photographs???!!!!! :em05:

May 1, 2012 at 13:26

Radical Redneck @ #:

I’m sending this post over to Jenn’s place just especially for her trolls!!!

LC Proud Infidel growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 13:32

Igor, Imperial Booby says:

Have fun, good Sir, and don’t forget to profile
Pull over a few carsful of Mexicans, just for giggles! Ask ‘em, “Where were you born??”

Properly said, it’s “WHERE were ya BORN, Boy?”

As for me, I’ve got night shift at the paper mill. If y’all don’t wanna recycle, it’s OK by me, we’ll make more!

rickn8or growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 13:48

Tell the CCW permit holder you stopped “The next time see you, I’m gonna buy you a drink!”

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 14:27

I’ve been fighting on FB all morning about the occupy street puppets and their non-rallies today. One of my opposing friends criticized me for being overly negative about the puppets and their string masters and asked me say something positive about conservatives…..so this is what I posted in response:

….to put it briefly, I believe that the true 99% of Americans aren’t the ones who occupy parks and smash storefronts and attempt to blow up bridges etc….they are hard working people who pay their taxes, work for various companies or are self-employed, raise their kids the best they can, and pay their bills. They have the opportunity to make their lives comfortable and that of their kids as well….and if they are lucky, they will retire rich and independant of a nanny state government. THAT is my dream, I don’t want a mansion or a limo or any of that. I want to retire free of worry and debt and am well on my way to doing that. I graduated from college in 1978, have worked my ass off ever since and bought my first house at the ripe old age of 33. My wife and I pay off our debts and loans, we don’t expect to be forgiven of them and we have enough common sense to NOT take out loans that we cannot repay. In short, I don’t expect ANYONE to give any of that to me, I wouldn’t want it that way anyway….it has something to do with character and responsibility, both of which seem to be in very short supply these days.

I am the 99%, not those spoiled irresponsible under educated puppets who are smashing store fronts and such….they are the 1% and they in no way represent me and I am insulted that they think they do.

that was about 9:00 this morning, it is now 12:30 and I haven’t been responded to….do I count that as a win?

maxxdog growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 15:36

“For the fag, trannie, carpet muncher, what ever community, I will have heterosexual, objectifying, misogynist, sex. Lot’s of it. And I will do it well, exceptionally well.”

I’m betting Bangie Stick hasn’t been advised of this intent. :em05:
maxxdog recently posted..We’ve Moved!

Bitter Clinger growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 18:53

NR Pax says:

1. I am going to go to work.
2. I am going to do a good job and earn my money.
3. I am going to refuse to apologize for being who I am.
I think that covers their hot buttons, since I’m a straight white male.

Ya forgot to add “Pay my taxes in order to support worthless scumsucking shitbag losers” :em01:

May 1, 2012 at 18:58

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery says:

Hell, even when they do respond they just show their own ignorance and illiteracy. Win, win.
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..It’s May Day Comrades

May 1, 2012 at 19:00

maxxdog says:

I’m betting Bangie Stick hasn’t been advised of this intent.

Oh, she knows, she knows. :em01:
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..It’s May Day Comrades

May 1, 2012 at 19:18

Lady H says:

Are you allowed to take photographs???!!!!!

Dash cams, with audio!!! :em01:
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..It’s May Day Comrades

May 1, 2012 at 19:58

May 1, 2012 at 20:14

Whoa!! Kayinsane trolls over there?! Heather, why ain’t you tried to drag her ass over here? Think of the warm reception she would receive, the joy in the Empire, the LOVE Heather, the love we could show her.
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..It’s May Day Comrades

May 1, 2012 at 20:15

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. @ #:

Kate is too chicken to comment over there….but Jenn has got some other pretty persistent trolls over there. “Darwin” carries one of the biggest Clue Bats ™ I have ever seen.

readerjp growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 20:23

And here’s how the celebration went in NY:

Cops make arrests, investigate suspicious packages in citywide OWS May Day protests

Cops arrested at least 30 people today as thousands of Occupy Wall Street protesters fanned out across the city for a series of May Day demonstrations.

The NYPD was also investing a series of suspicious items mailed to multiple office building and city landmarks that are believed to be linked to the protests.

Elsewhere in Manhattan — before a planned demonstration near Wall Street — small cadres of protesters gathered outside several large corporate landmarks including the Time-Life building Sixth Avenue and outside the McGraw-Hill building as part of the Occupy Wall Street coordinated action. Major US banks including Wells Fargo, JP Morgan Chase, Bank of America and Goldman Sachs also were targeted by demonstrators.

May 1, 2012 at 20:29

Ignore the double “there”— I’m too lazy to proofread.

LC SmokeyBehr growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 21:02

I’m sitting here at work (late shift) watching Oakland PD getting ready to give some Modnadnock brand Wooden Shampoos to the Oaktown Occutards via the magic of the Interwebtubes. One dumbass already “rode the lightning” for pulling the usual stupid crap this afternoon. I can’t wait for all the wailing and gnashing of teeth by the filthy hippies when OPD decides that they’ve had enough of their BS, and adds a little aerosol Tabasco to the mix.

When I went to grab some dinner (driving my 15 MPG SUV), I saw our local Occutards getting ready to do their thing in the local park. Even with the windows rolled up, I could smell their stink. Maybe I need an extra air freshener…

Tallulah growls and barks:

May 1, 2012 at 23:50

Hi, Rottweilers –

I saw the NYC Bomb Squad had blocked off 15th Street tonight at about 6:00 pm, which borders the Con Edison headquarters. Lights flashing, police barricades, and everything.

NOTHING about it on the news. Like they say, “Nothing to see here. Move along.”

I didn’t notice the Occutards having any success with their Commie Day celebrations, even though New York 1 “News” pimped for them as hard as they could (also rebranding the Communist International day as a bland, nonthreatening “day in honor of labor.”) :em04:

LC Xystus growls and barks:

May 2, 2012 at 01:58

Crunch, I didn’t realize ya were an officer! Thought ya were strictly an instructor. Reminds me of my bro, who’s a county mountie but has begun to teach shooting on the side.

LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology growls and barks:

May 2, 2012 at 02:41

Did I miss May Day again?

Perhaps I’ll intentionally cook my next steak all the way to medium-rare…

May 2, 2012 at 07:58

Lady H @ #:

Jenn has got some other pretty persistent trolls over there.

You better believe it. She gets trolled at least 25 times a day with the same weak, paste eating missives such as:

Lester Liberalmann:
What a parrot. The ‘misery’ is what the average Americans are experiencing because of the the corporate control of our Democracy. If you are not concerned, you are nothing but a corporate lapdog and an oligarch.

The Occupy Protestors are the patriots that the Tea Party losers could only dream of being.

the OWS protestors surely have more teeth in their mouths than all you Tea Party fucks. When corporate America comes for your house, your jobs and takes away your health care, I’m betting you’ll roll over gladly instead of waking up.

Stoooooooooooooooooooooooopid is nuclear and more tenacious than Montezuma’s revenge ON TOP OF a 3 day Schlitz and catfish bender!

May 2, 2012 at 09:01

Q: Why do moonbats stink?
A: So blind people can also hate them!

Hvy Gunner 0331 growls and barks:

May 2, 2012 at 09:24

Let’s see…

Spent the morning attending classes at the local community college (one class away from an AA!) Enjoyed the refreshingly conservative air (not a fucktard in sight!)

As part of my preparation to infiltrate the leftist educational system, I do admit to being more “furry” than usual (yeah, I have a pony-tail… I also have a CCW and a Colt Gold Cup M1911A1); don’t think “hippie”, think “American barbarian”… One of my hobbies is to throw on 50 pounds of armor and smack the hell out of my buddies with a sword, so it fits. And I am NEVER seen without my “Iraq Veteran” hat on, just so that the kids don’t get confused and ask me to start hugging trees. Having spent a majority of my life looking like a tree, I ask the prettier young ladies if I can get some retroactive hugs.

There was some attempt at a “General Strike” here in Spokane, but it was roundly ignored, most folks watching breathlessly for the strikers to leave their jobs, so they could take ‘em… (Yeah, it’s that bad.)

So, for May Day I took the ’52 M-37 for a spin, drank a few toasts to SEAL Team 6 and Neptunus Lex (Jamison, for courage!) cleaned the M-1, and chuckled over the fact that I was on the winning side of the cold war.

Semper Fi. Out.

May 2, 2012 at 10:43

OT, and I apologize for that, but this was too good not to share …

Saw an obvious good ol’ boy pickup with what appeared to be a homemade bumper sticker that read
“Ghett O out of the White House“

May 2, 2012 at 12:00

Hvy Gunner 0331 says:

you have an M37? that is just cool right there. My Dad and uncle used to have an old Dodge personnel carrier when I was a kid. They had it on a horse ranch in the Rockies that I used to work at every summer…..I never got to drive it, rode in it to town a lot but never got to drive it….

Good luck in the education field, I’ve been in public education for 8 years now and what will surprise you the most is how many conservatives are public school teachers, the number is growing.

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

May 2, 2012 at 12:58

Belated report on Mayday activity.
Added some money to the bank account. Check.
Took target practice at the range. Check.
Went shopping – made a significant investment at the liquor shop. Check
Went shopping again – bought additional ammunition. Check.
At both the liquor store and gun shop made a point of informing proprietors I was shopping deliberately to defy the OWS-tard bas-tards.
Finally a grocery stop – pork chops, and some wild-caught swordfish steaks. Check.
All assigned tasks completed, ended the day with an extra long, extra hot shower, with plenty of hippie repellent.
FIJFI

May 2, 2012 at 15:53

Hvy Gunner 0331 @ #42:
As a fellow Spokanite, and having been to the Falls and EWU, I can say that the level of moonbattery is not as severe as, say, Seattle. Where water on the brain is so common. Not too many Occutards here, but there are a few.
Where do you shoot? Mebbe you and I could get together in our copious free time and throw a little lead around… :em01:

The Irish Dragoness growls and barks:

May 2, 2012 at 18:11

I went grocery shopping at the local commissary. Also, funny that Crunchie should make a comment about his wife cooking dinner for him while barefoot. I did cook dinner for my husband last night and I was barefoot. However, most people who know me well will tell you that is nothing new, as I don’t like shoes. I only wear them when running or at the range.

May 2, 2012 at 18:57

Anybody see this in the media?
Anywhere?
Could have been my friend Josh, or Crunchie, or mile, or Barry….
Infuriates me.
God rest their souls…
My friend Lynn, who presided over Marys memorial in my back yard, sent me this.
Memorial Day is coming……
Subject: Prayer Request

We are asking everyone to say a prayer for “Darkhorse” 3rd Battalion 5th Marines and their families

They are fighting it out in Afghanistan & they have lost 9 marines in 4 days.
IT WOULD BE NICE TO SEE the message spread if more could pass it on.
Nothing in the media about these guys because no one seems to care:

Justin Allen, 23, Brett Linley, 29, Matthew Weikert, 29,

Justus Bartett, 27, Dave Santos, 21, Chase Stanley, 21
Jesse Reed, 26, Matthew Johnson, 21, Zachary Fisher, 24, Brandon King, 23,
Christopher Goeke, 23, Sheldon Tate, 27.

All are Marines that gave their lives for YOU this week.

Please Honor THEM by forwarding this.
I just did.

Semper Fi

May 2, 2012 at 19:02

One...is too many….

May 2, 2012 at 19:29

I forgot to state that I am five months pregnant and that I did the dishes afterwards

May 2, 2012 at 19:31

You are what…and you did?

May 2, 2012 at 19:44

The Irish Dragoness says:

Damn, ya beat me to it. Way to piss of the NAGs milady. :em01:
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..LoompaLand? There’s no such place…

LC BU1 IMotBP growls and barks:

May 2, 2012 at 20:07

LC HJ Caveman82952 @ #:

Posted it on Facebook, Cave. I’m asking my friends to copy it to their status, hoping for it to get the maximum exposure.

Dusted off my own humble little ClueBat ™

And in a Christian way.

Lady M-ITT™-Imperial Sniper G.L.O.R growls and barks:

May 2, 2012 at 20:35

:em01:

May 3, 2012 at 07:55

Shit! Another liberal conceived! :em06:

May 3, 2012 at 16:32

Jaybear!

you have an M37? that is just cool right there. My Dad and uncle used to have an old Dodge personnel carrier when I was a kid. They had it on a horse ranch in the Rockies that I used to work at every summer…..I never got to drive it, rode in it to town a lot but never got to drive it….

Good luck in the education field, I’ve been in public education for 8 years now and what will surprise you the most is how many conservatives are public school teachers, the number is growing.

Actually this is my third M-37. Eventually I want something with tracks… As far as the growing conservatism, perhaps I shall finally be in the right place at the right time!

Hvy Gunner 0331 @ #42:
As a fellow Spokanite, and having been to the Falls and EWU, I can say that the level of moonbattery is not as severe as, say, Seattle. Where water on the brain is so common. Not too many Occutards here, but there are a few.
Where do you shoot? Mebbe you and I could get together in our copious free time and throw a little lead around…

Igor, contact me offline at hvygunner AT gmail DOT com and let us conspire! (Edited your addy heavy guns, spambots be a sniffin. – crunch)

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