Since we already have a Weekend Open Thread, I just thought it incumbent on me to update the Loyal Citizenry on the state of the Empire and the reason for my apparent absence.
I am neither dead nor incapacitated (so don’t be opening the champagne from the Imperial Dungeon yet, that shit is expensive and I WILL be charging for it by the ounce), it’s just that the annual Viking invasion is taking place, so I’m having to deal with entertaining my rowdy Imperial Family which, come to think of it, perhaps “incapacitated” isn’t the wrong word after all.
But we’re all having the time of our lives, so no worries there. It’s just that typing is damn hard when you’re six sheets to the wind on a lee shore and the bloody frenchies are peppering you with badly aimed, of course, grape shot. Or words to that effect. It’s possible that we got our metaphors mixed up here.
Then again: One of the benefits of being an Emperor is that you don’t have to worry about such plebeian matters. If you say something is a perfectly correct (if somewhat misspelled) metaphor, it is.
We’ll leave it to the Imperial Staff from here on out, with the promise (threat?) that we’ll be back worse than ever once our familial obligations have been dealt with. Not to mention the massive hangovers.
For now, three huzzahs to the Imperial family who is still very much alive and kicking and long may we reign. And drink. And cuss. And cause general havoc with the more than ample assistance of the most efficient network of rebellious Loyal Citizens of America that Was that this nation ever knew.
Though we know not where the fight may take us, we know that our cause is a righteous one and that we shall, must succeed, for good will always vanquish evil. And though we may perish in the fight along the way, we shall do so with a smile on our face, a song in our heart and knowing that we will never be counted among “the good men who did nothing to stop evil.”
We aim to misbehave, and misbehave we shall until our pledge and oath to our nation has been fulfilled and Americans of all creeds and colors can once again breathe free in the land of the free, the home of the brave, the shining city upon on a hill lit by the brightest beacon that mankind ever saw.
We will not waver, we will not falter, we will not budge. The line has been drawn and we fear not death, we only fear dishonor, and dishonor is not fate, it is a choice.
Fight to win, fight to live, but if die you must, at least die well.