Death to Superfluous, Stupid Buttons

By which we mean those irritating “follow me on this”, “like this on that” and “recommend this on the other” cutesy little Failbook, Spoogele, Twatter and Bob knows what else buttons that seem to be infesting every single website His Imperial Majesty reads as of late.

They eff up the templates, choke up the browsers and delay load times to the point where we’ll be in a new ice age before His Majesty gets to finally read the content he was looking for as opposed to the pathetic blegs for attention that those wastes of electron buttons represent and no, us having to hunt around for plug-ins, switching browsers because one of them likes site A but not site B’s buttons every five minutes and generally speaking cursing up a storm does not make it more likely that we’ll come back.

Not that anybody should care, really.

Oh, and bonus point: Any reference to “Follow me on Twitter” on your site deducts an automatic 50 Respect and Maturity points as A) We don’t “follow” anybody who wasn’t nailed to a cross 2,000 years ago and B) Twitter is nothing but blogging for people with ADHD who can’t fucking spell to save their lives. (If u’ve evr rote anythg like this, u might b a #Twatter).

Thatisall.

19 comments

  1. 1
    Darth Venomous growls and barks:

    (If u’ve evr rote anythg like this, u might b a #Twatter).

    Need to fix that “er” key, Sire.

  2. 2
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    Personally, I’d like a “DISLIKE” button and perhaps a “FUCK YOU” button on facebook. I’m not holding my breath.

  3. 3
    LC Jackboot IC/A growls and barks:

    A) We don’t “follow” anybody who wasn’t nailed to a cross 2,000 years ago

    Absolutely, besides I can’t imagine having such a crush on anyone (other than the above) to the point where I need to know what they had for lunch for criminy sakes.

    “Follow Me” indeed…..follow this……mheh..
    LC Jackboot IC/A recently posted..Our most precious bloodMy Profile

  4. 4
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    I’m not a twit….
    I don’t do twitter.
    I am not on facebook….
    I got a life.

  5. 5
    LC ShadowFox growls and barks:

    Hear hear!

  6. 6
    Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan growls and barks:

    I’m on facebook. It’s an easy way to keep in contact with family and friends. Instant photos ond updates about their kids when I get the chance to check at 3 AM.

    Though I can see why people hate it, I’m with most folks here. I don’t care what you had for breakfast or what game you’re playing. I don’t need you to tell me when you go to bed. Give me a funny story about a dog or a picture of your kids graduation.

  7. 7
    LC TerribleTroy growls and barks:

    A few months back my most trusted, respected friend suggested Facebook. I can’t do it. Something about facebook sets off my spidey sense. Certainly I can see some positive aspects, but really people….for the most part I don’t give a fuck. Guess thats my antisocial tendancies. Never even considered twitter . What pisses me off the most are the ads…flash ads, popup ads, background ads….they always goober up my lightweight lil netbook and my semi smurt phone.

  8. 8
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    Something about facebook sets off my spidey sense.

    Dead on target, Troy.
    I cannot explain it, but something deep in my gut told me to get the hell off, so deleting all my info months ago, signing out and off. Perhaps just paranoid, but those wanting to know my views or rat me out to God knows who……..farmville did nothing for me……
    I prefer a lower profile. I don’t even taxt, perhaps due to difficulty seeing the letters….. :em05:
    I prefer the sound of a voice, and what intonations and dialog can tell me.
    I would imagine all of us are on some kind of list just being Rotties……. :em01:

  9. 9
    Cannon Fodder growls and barks:

    Don’t rag on failbook, the guys at failblog.org might get upset about it …. :em05:

    I actually get a kick out of the failbook section! But, I agree with you about the stupid follow me buttons. It is a ridiculous cry for attention.

  10. 10

    Twitter presents the difficult challenge of being witty in 140 characters or less.

    Some do very well with that…Fred Thompson comes to mind, most do not.

    But I have found that it is actually where most stories seem to be reported first anymore…you know…when you just can’t get the bad news fast enough.
    Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere recently posted..After-Action Report: Fast FiveMy Profile

  11. 11
    ICD growls and barks:

    An add add-on for Firefox called “Ghostery” will get rid of many of those superfluous buttons, as long as you block them using the add-on.

  12. 12
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    Not there and never will be. I don’t want followers. A few people I know are on it because after the wireless bill is paid, they’re broke. But the Kirov Renshaws are mildly amusing. I don’t click buttons because every time I did I got something other than what was being offered. Redirection should only be allowed for defunct sites and pages. My beef with Facebook is their dominance of commentary content on media sites that require registration for the use of. Pass. In the famous last drunken words of a departed CBS News exec; “We don’t tell the truth. We give them what we want them to have.”

  13. 13
    LC MaxMomFL growls and barks:

    Yes, I have “followers”…ducking…let me ‘splain. I am a “mom-blogger”. Who reads mom-blogs? Other mom-bloggers. We “link” with tools like Linky Followers, etc. in order to form similarly interested communities. I am part of ‘autism mom’, ‘home and garden’, ‘entrepreneurial’ and other communities. We have “blog hop parties”, “blog fests”, “blog gatherings” and other cutely-worded 21st century internet versions of coffee klatches or Tupperware parties. Moms then have their blogs fed into their readers of choice and get their ‘home schooler’ tips or their ‘coupon savings’ tips or whatever all on one list.

    Currently, I’m on Blogger and they have their own “follow me” button, but it’s only for Blogger blogs and that sucks. I will soon be taking off my Blogger training wheels and host my own blog. Until then I will keep building my mom-blogger following on the other available tools in order to fulfill my ultimate cunning plans to domina to-be-announced.

    That being said, I loath Faceboink. One of my besties insisted I give it a try and I did and…I loathe Faceboink. I deleted the everlovin’ f*&$ out of that ridiculous, time wasting account. Virtual farms? WTF???

    I never tried Twitter. I can’t even bring myself to “join” something so inanely titled and conceptually vacuous. I am no one’s “twit”. TYVM.

    I do recognize that when my obscene profit phase is fully implemented I will have to relent and get a Faceboink “Page”. This is the business end of Faceboink….”Buttboink”? However, that will just have to be accepted as a cost of doing business. I can’t be the millionaire-mom next door by shunning available resources just because I feel a little dirty.
    LC MaxMomFL recently posted..It’s a Blog Hop Party, Lets LinkMy Profile

  14. 14
    Secondmouse growls and barks:

    Here’s a little thought experiment for folks who might be trying to get a handle on how far our nation has fallen while preoccupied with social media, Kim Kardashian’s beachwear and Angry Birds logos on everything from candy bars to house shoes.

    Try, if you will, to imagine how Abraham Lincoln’s Facebook page would have looked. Can you see some of his cabinet members clicking ‘like’ on a repost of the Gettysburg Address? Mobile phone photos from that fateful night at Ford Theater posted in his timeline the next morning? Or, if that is too difficult, consider Thomas Jefferson as a Twitter tweeter: “Luv teh drapes in the Blu Rm!!11! #awesum2Bprez

    Somehow, I can’t quite picture what our Constitution might look like if the contents were hashed out over Twitter, 140 characters at a time.

    Exactly. Not progress.

  15. 15
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    Now this is a button in the making…..may seem OT, but Lovelock, bails on global warming.

  16. 16
    maxxdog growls and barks:

    Follow me all you want but be forewarned. I loves beans. Soups,baked, burritoes, whatever.
    Fartbook baby.
    maxxdog recently posted..We’ve Moved!My Profile

  17. 17
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    LC TerribleTroy @ #:
    The worst is that new technique pioneered by “Vibrant”, with random words double-unerelined in green scatered throughout the text, so that you get a popup for some totally unrelated ad if your cursor veers even close to the word. To all website owners – look dumbfucks, I go to your site because I hope to read a cogent thought, not in order to be hypnotized by ads for dumb products, This is the sort of foolishness that tends to discredit free enterprise and stifles communication.
    Much like the story about the Tower of Babel, an entire edifice can and will be undone and reduced to incoherence.

    Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere @ #:
    Twitter is for twits. How many words can you write with 140 characters? With only 140 characters, you cannot be a wit – at most only a half-wit.

    Another horrid thing about these Social(-ist) sites is their tendency to invite-spam others who happen to be in the address books of the suckers who sign on. For this Linkedin seems to be the worst. Linked in as in fenced in, it is for successful cattle and sheep, it is where you go to bleat while awaiting your appointment at the abbatoir. Some months ago one of my (ex-) friends informed me via bot that he had joined LI and invited me to join him. Never having heard of this site, whihc promised to be social media for grown-ups, I went on by. To get even a peek behind the curtain I had dto register, was admitted, and was suitably disappointed. Subsequently they began sending me emails informing me of every other idiot across the galaxy who was gullible enough to register, and then their career “achievements”. It was worse than wandering into an amway convention. :em06: Or maybe a Herpes Convention. I was never able to find a button or place to delist myself, so I just used the bozo blocker to linkedout any and all of their emails.

    Social media? I’m much happier with Anti-social media. :em07:

  18. 18
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    We don’t “follow” anybody who wasn’t nailed to a cross 2,000 years ago

    I think we know your meaning, but under Tiberius that was a disturbingly common practice. Say what you will about Constantine, at least he put a stop to it.

  19. 19
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    LC HJ Caveman82952:

    I would imagine all of us are on some kind of list just being Rotties…….

    A list of potential leaders! :em01: