Obama 2012: If you LIKE your dog, you can EAT your dog! (And I have some pretty fabulous recipes too!)
A survey conducted for the Imperial News Agency revealed that news of Obama’s alleged dog-eating habits have an increasing number of voters feeling, as one respondent put it, “disgusted and nauseated.” The general feeling among the survey’s respondents was that about 96% felt that it was simply un-American to even consider eating man’s best friend, much less talking about it in your memoirs.
Similarly, the survey revealed that more and more voters are concerned about allegations about the president’s allegiance, based on his attendance as a young man in a muslim madrassah, the muslim faith being associated with almost every single terrorist attack on the American homeland. Some say that maybe this compromises his decisions in international matters, and some groups even express concerns that there might be a link between his early formative years and the recent surge among fundamentalist islamist supporters in the middle east.
Obviously, all of the above is nothing but the Imperial News Agency reporting the facts. We are a completely unbiased, objective news reporting service and anybody who might suggest otherwise is a dirty, filthy, crazy bastard deluding himself about “vast conspiracies” and the like.
(Are you beginning to see, my fellow American conservatives, how this game is SUPPOSED to be played (minus the last paragraph which is too obvious)? Amateurs. If you want to beat the enemy, you have to think like the enemy)