The Preznit Who Put the “Dog” Back in “Hot Dog”

So, just as we predicted, the Enemy Media and the Ogabe Junta, being unable to campaign on jobs, energy prices and the economy, decided to start harping on Mittens’ “dog on the roof”. Heck, we’ve harped a-plenty about that one ourself, we still refuse to consider it kosher to strap a dog crate to the roof with the dog still inside and go “Old McDonald Had a Farm” down the highway for hours on end. But it’s hardly an election issue when we’re faced with the brokest nation in history and the worst economy since the Great Depression.

But, still, the Enemy Media and Axelturf just couldn’t resist. Again, just as we predicted. Did we predict something about Mormonism suddenly becoming a huge issue in the Enemy Media too? Why yes, yes we did. And look what’s happening. It’s almost as if we know something. But we digress…

But Barry Soetoro and his lapdogs in the media started it, so when we learned that Barry, in his Bill Ayer’s book, “Dreams from My Father”, was bragging about this:

“With Lolo, I learned how to eat small green chill peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy). Like many Indonesians, Lolo followed a brand of Islam that could make room for the remnants of more ancient animist and Hindu faiths. He explained that a man took on the powers of whatever he ate: One day soon, he promised, he would bring home a piece of tiger meat for us to share.”

…we just couldn’t help it as a big, shit-eating grin spread on our face.

You want to talk about dogs and the proper treatment thereof, Barry Shih-Tzu-Kebab? Well then, consider it Game On! And we’re late to the party, already actual human beings are flooding the zone with jokes about Barry “A Puppy a Day Keeps the Doctor Away” Soetoro and his culinary adventures, just search Twitter for the hashtags #ObamaDogRecipes and #ObamaEatsDogs (no, you don’t have to get a retarded Twitter account to do that, thank G-d) or, for that matter, check just about any blog run by an intelligent human being and you will be laughing your arse off.

From the always outstanding LC & IB S.Weasel we get, for instance, this masterpiece:

…a work of art we’d like to call “Breakfast at Obama’s”, and check out her comments for more hilarity.

Or, of course, the inevitable:

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Small note: Hitler’s actual dog’s name was Blondi, not Fluffy. Historical accuracy and all that.

Not that we’re suggesting that Obama doesn’t like dogs. He loves them! In a nice curry with rice on the side.

We’ve heard that, for the lean times we’re in, he heartily recommends Ramen Poodles.

We’ve also heard that he only ever visited a KFC once. He was deeply disappointed when he learned that the name of it isn’t “Kentucky Fried Chihuahuas”.

Obama, the president who thinks of a dog shelter as a fast-food drive-thru.

Please do go on in the comments if you feel like it, the jokes just write themselves on this one.

Of course, none of this is terribly relevant, which the RINO Gentry GOP is quick to point out as per fucking usual whenever something hurtful is being said about ProgNazis, but that’s hardly the point here. The point is to take our sworn, mortal enemies’ weapons and turn them right around, then unload them in their liberal fascist faces.

And it’s already working. The Enemy Media, all primed to talk endlessly about Mittens and his dog, all of a sudden have discovered that talking about dogs is really very silly and not all that relevant when there are Bigger Issues to be discussed.

Not sure where that sudden change of heart came from, but we are certain that it has absolutely nothing to do with that old oxymoron, “journalistic integrity.”

Did we say that we’re not sure? We didn’t fool anybody, did we? Of course we’re sure, and so are you.

Now, the other issue, Mittens’ Mormonism which the Enemy Media is playing for all that it’s worth… Of course, they’re not actually criticizing Mormonism, they don’t want anybody to notice that they’re the real bigots and that 99% of the conservative vote could really care less. Instead they frame their stories as “concern” from, of course, anonymous sources that Mormonism (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but seriously, they are kind of weird, aren’t they? Not that there’s anything wrong with that either) might become an issue.

That’s the way they always play it because, that way, they can unleash their inner bigot in all of its fury and spread all of the false, defamatory claims that their shriveled little hearts desire without actually being held to account for their actions. “We’re not saying it, we’re just reporting concerns from ‘sources’!”

The liberal fascist have learned quite a bit from their ideological predecessors in the NSDAP. If they’d been in charge back then, Der Stürmer wouldn’t have been full of hateful lies and caricatures of Jews. Well, that’s to say, it would have been, but it would always be disguised as “concerned reporting” about “trends in the population” suggesting that people thought the Jews were [insert traditional Der Stürmer blood libel filth here].

So how do we counter the liberal fascist Mormon blood libels that are as sure to follow as night follows day? Quite simple. They want to play the religion game? Fine. As far as we know, young Barry Soetoro was, provably, a muslim as a kid.

Wrong way to play it: “Obama was a muslim as a kid and might still be.”

Right way to play it: “Sources (or interviews, trends, whatever you can use that doesn’t require anything that can be verified or debunked) suggest that young Obama’s enrollment as a muslim in and Indonesian madrassah might become a problem for him in the general election as more and more people worry about where his sympathies might lie, fueled by speculation that the rise of muslim fundamentalism in the Middle East might be connected to it.”

See how that works? WE didn’t say anything, we were just “reporting” and, in the process, making sure that it’s not that we believe any of it, we’re just concerned that it might become a real issue. And good fucking luck trying to find out who those sources are or where we got our “data” from. A True Journalist™ would never, ever reveal his sources, after all.

His Imperial Majesty keeps harping on it, and we’re not about to stop: The only way to combat socialist swine and their methods is to employ them yourself. They have no counter for it or they would be doing something else. And we do know a thing or two about their methods. They taught us quite well. We bet they wish right now that they had flunked us out of the class.

Thatisall.

13 comments

  1. 1
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    The point is to take our sworn, mortal enemies’ weapons and turn them right around, then unload them in their liberal fascist faces.

    That is indeed the point.

    Right way to play it: “Sources (or interviews, trends, whatever you can use that doesn’t require anything that can be verified or debunked) suggest that young Obama’s enrollment as a muslim in and Indonesian madrassah might become a problem for him in the general election as more and more people worry about where his sympathies might lie, fueled by speculation that the rise of muslim fundamentalism in the Middle East might be connected to it.”

    See how that works?

    And there’s a good example!

  2. 2
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Small note: Hitler’s actual dog’s name was Blondi, not Fluffy. Historical accuracy and all that.

    Fluffy was Eva Braun’s cat and as fare as I’ve been able to tell, Obama didn’t eat cats. :em03:

    On the flip side, thanks to John Hawkins, new campaign buttons have been created for Obama and Mittens. I posted copies, as a public service of course. :em05:

  3. 3

    So, does this mean the Bo get’s his own Secret Service detail for when Ogabe’s stomach starts to growl.
    LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..The First ShotMy Profile

  4. 4
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    What’s great are the one liners that are appearing on the Net. For instance:

    Why are there no more Blue Dog Democrats? Obama ate them. :em05:

  5. 5
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. says:

    So, does this mean the Bo get’s his own Secret Service detail for when Ogabe’s stomach starts to growl.
    LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..The First Shot

    :em05: :em05:

  6. 6
    SDN growls and barks:

    angrywebmaster @ #:

    Of course Obama doesn’t eat pussy; Mooch keeps that for herself…. :em06:

  7. 7
    SDN growls and barks:

    No wonder Obama lets Mooch get rid of fast food; he found that “Go Greyhound” wasn’t a chain slogan… :em05:

  8. 8
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    angrywebmaster @ #:

    (

    snip) … as fare as I’ve been able to tell, Obama didn’t eat cats

    But it is rumored that his Chief of DHS eats pussycat.

  9. 9
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. @ #:

    But it is rumored that his Chief of DHS eats pussy cat.

    So she has a side job as a lawn muncher mower? :em07:

  10. 10
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    I say that Odumbo, The Smartest President Evah™, got C’s and D’s in school and college. Prove me wrong, Dumbocrats…

  11. 11

    He might’a done better, Igor, if he had spent his time doing what students should do, rather than omitting the homework in favor of the “social work”,,, ‘same problem he’s got today.

  12. 12
    FabioC. growls and barks:

    “Sources report an unusual traffic of Washington DC dog cacther’s vans towards the White House in the early hours of the morning”.
    FabioC. recently posted..Sui Versamenti di IdrocarburiMy Profile


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