And Now, Because We Know How Much You Love Vice President Choo Choo’s Antics…

We bring the latest in our series, “Joe the Nut Fluffer Biden Does the Presidential Staff…” (If you know what we mean and we think that you do).

Vice President Joe Biden today assured a group of campaign donors in Wisconsin that Republican criticism of President Obama’s leadership style doesn’t match up with what he’s witnessed firsthand.

“I’ve watched him make decisions that would make another man or woman’s hair curl,” Biden told the crowd of 150 inside the Italian Community Center in Milwaukee, according to a pool reporter on scene.

Why, just watching him choose between Wagyu Beef and lobster one day practically made half a dozen of Biden’s hair plugs pop out!

Biden, who has said he’s the last man in the room with Obama before a tough call, often attests that his boss has a “backbone like a ramrod.”

That’s not his “backbone”, dear old demented Unca Choo-Choo, and would you please take it out of your mouth already? It’s making it very hard to understand what you’re saying.

“I think I can say … no president, and I would argue in the 20th century and including now the 21st century, has had as many serious problems which are cases of first-instance laid on his table,” Biden said. “Franklin Roosevelt faced more dire consequences, but in a bizarre way it was more straightforward.”

Yeah sure. That whole Japan, Pearl Harbor, two front war, D-Day, you know… Not a B.F.D. Giving the order to take out bin Fish Sticks, however, now that’s some tough decision-making, right there!

The vice president claimed that the complexity of the 2008 financial crisis presented challenges in a way the Great Depression of 80 years ago did not.
Biden also discussed the decision by Obama to authorize a covert raid into Pakistan to kill or capture Osama bin Laden, noting that nearly the entire national security team — including Biden — advised against the raid. Obama Panetta made the call anyway.

Fixed it for you. Or maybe somebody whispered to the presidential ramrod that being known as “the stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure that let bin Laden get away” wasn’t going to help his chances in ’12.

Not only is Obumbles, according to Choo-Choo, the Greatest Commander of All Times, he’s also the toughest, most ram-roddiest of all leaders in the history of, why not go all the way, ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY!1!!!11!!!!

Thank you Joey, for providing us with an endless supply of comedy gold in these troubled times. At least you’ve got that going for you.



  1. 1
    LC Draco growls and barks:


    And BTW….I am still waiting for a list of the ‘HARD’ decisions Obama has made in his term. And when I say a ‘hard’ decision, I mean one that only the Prez can make and one that will either make or break his term.

  2. 2
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    Gaffe-O-Matic never fails to provide humour, usually of the dark farcical variety. :em05:

  3. 3
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Vice President and career politician Joe Biden spoke candidly at a Democratic fundraising event Thursday night in Chicago, saying he’s glad he’s never had “a real job”—because people with real jobs “have to produce.”

    Byron York of the Washington Examiner reports:

    Vice President Joe Biden offered a frank assessment of his career in remarks at a Democratic fundraiser in Chicago Thursday night. According to a White House pool report, Biden, surrounded by the city’s movers and shakers, praised former Mayor Richard M. Daley and then said: “I never had an interest in being a mayor ’cause that’s a real job. You have to produce. That’s why I was able to be a senator for 36 years.”

    Biden was elected to the Senate in November 1972, when he was 29 years old. When he took office in January 1973, he had turned 30, the minimum age set in the Constitution for membership in the Senate. Biden served in the Senate from that time until January 2009, when he became vice president.

  4. 4
    LC Jackboot IC/A growls and barks:

    Panetta made the call anyway.

    Something that will never see the light of day, until the historians start their work. The SCOAMF took what 36 hours and over 20 meetings to give the green light for the op. His ‘decision’ was shoved down his throat. IMHO the credit for finally nailing that goat-molesting cocksucker goes to W.

    This is like ‘Beetle’ Smith taking credit for all of Operation Overlord simply because he promulgated the ‘go’ order down the chain-of-command.

    There’s a lot of competition here, but I think Chooter is the biggest embarrassment of the lot. Of course, Zer0 is going to keep him on the ticket because he really needs the guy to pull this sort of stuff.

  5. 5
    Southern Libertarian growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I

    That’s not his “backbone”, dear old demented Unca Choo-Choo, and would you please take it out of your mouth already? It’s making it very hard to understand what you’re saying


    We bring the latest in our series, “Joe the Nut Fluffer Biden Does the Presidential Staff…” (If you know what we mean and we think that you do).

    I really should stop reading this blog while eating. I hope your happy with yourself sir, you just ruined corn dog day for me with those visuals. :em06:

  6. 6
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    SL, I just happen to have a 55 gal. drum of brain bleach for sale. But you had better hurry and make a bid on it now before the price goes way up. Supply and demand, don’t you know? And with BC and Radical Redneck hanging around and thinking shit up in their thoroughly demented minds, demand will probably skyrocket soon. :em05:

  7. 7
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    I tells ya, it was sheer genius that Odumbo chose Choo-Choo for his Veep – helluva life insurance policy…
    :em05: :em05:

  8. 8
    Cactus Jack growls and barks:

    Holy crap. I wonder if Barry’s leg ever gets tired of having that little lap dog humping on it?

  9. 9
    LC Timberwolf - Keeper of the Imperial Malinois growls and barks:

    OK, OK.

    I hope (hopey-changey) that all of the insults and defamations toward our mentally challenged (RETARD!!!) current VP are done! Puh-leeze! (Trying to maintain a straight face.) 😉

    Y’all buncha uneducated illiterate redneck coal and oil lovers had better respect your superiors! Joe Biden knows how ta accept hair plugs, which is a much more valuable experience than plugging a tire or even capping an oil well! Too bad he can’t plug his mouth! (Aw, shit! I mentioned coal and oil and tires all at once. He HATES that!) 😉

    Oh, yeah! King Jugears, I mean, B. Hussein Obama? He has more balls than ANY of you doomed freedom loving idiots!

    They even say “Titleist” on them, he is so special! That means he is ENTITLED to EVERYTHING! Yeah, suckers! Try to refute THAT string of statist logic! (Plugs ears with fingers) “Lalalalala…. hehe… Obamessiah!”

    On another note:


    “Now, bow down and kiss my ring, Leonidas,” said Xerxes (Obama). “I will give you dominion over all that is 100 or more leagues from this point and make ALL serve you! Name the boundaries you desire, just WORSHIP ME!”

    “Fuck you, Obama, I mean Xerxes! Golf is a faggy game! Most Greeks ain’t THAT queer! We REAL men engage in sports that involve horsepower or marksmanship! And we, among all Greeks, are SPARTANS! We also prefer spears and swords for OUR gaming! And I prefer my sparring partners to be Free Men! Hell, our WOMEN would kick your scrawny ass! Just like your fat assed wookie wife does! Who the fuck needs to eat more broccoli? You moron, we invented Kataifi, Baklava and Amygdalopita, eat it all by the plateful, AFTER a very large dinner, and we stay ripped like Arnie! Wanna know why? ‘Cuz we train for BATTLE!

    “What did YOU train for? Oh, being a “community organizer”??? You silly and pathetic worthless (Expletives deleted, but some of the most derogatory terms that could be used toward a wannabe “male”) Ha, HA!”

    “Oh, yeah, asshole! We worship a REAL God, not some narcissistic asshole with undeserved delusions of grandeur!” (OK, I know the French were not around back then, so to speak, but work with me here!)

    At that bit of densely processed yet perceived intolerable insolence, Obama/Xerxes coughed and choked, lowering his head just enough to miss the spear that clipped his Jugear, shearing off a bit of his heavily ringed extrusion, but sparing him to run in fear…

    Moral: Warriors, no matter their age, will win the field against an overwhelming army of overconfident and incompetent array of assholes.

    (This is fiction, given that placing Obama into the time of the Battle of Thermopylae is patently ridiculous…)

    But History has an uncanny way of repeating itself with a slight twist each time… 😀

  10. 10

    Igor, Imperial Booby @ # 7: Precisely. Only, I don’t think even Biden could have fucked up the country nearly as badly.

  11. 11
    Southern Libertarian growls and barks:

    LC Ogrrre @ #6:

    Let me see if i understand this, BC and RR gross me out( Sometimes the Emperor too, he has his moments) and you just happen to be on hand with a large supply of brain bleach? Coincidence? I think not. :em05:

  12. 12
    readerjp growls and barks:

    Vice President Joe Biden, long known for making embarrassing verbal gaffes, echoed the cynical criticism many people levy against career politicians, stating he had stayed in the Senate for 36 years because he didn’t want to get “a real job.”

    Biden was speaking to a Democratic fundraiser in Chicago Thursday night, when he turned to praise the work of Richard M. Daley, the city’s former mayor of over 20 years.

    “I never had an interest in being a mayor, ’cause that’s a real job. You have to produce,” Biden said, according to a White House pool report. “That’s why I was able to be a senator for 36 years.”

    I think the jokes tell themselves.

  13. 13
    irish19 growls and barks:

    Igor, Imperial Booby @ #:
    Exactly right. That’s why Hillary was a no-go for the job.