TV Host Nobody Watches Will Now Be Able to Sit at Home and Not Be Watched [UPDATED]

Via The Angry Webmaster:

Current TV said Friday afternoon that it had terminated the contract of its lead anchor Keith Olbermann, scarcely one year after he was hired to reboot the fledgling channel in his progressive political image.

How better to boot a douchenozzle nobody watches than by announcing it on a day when nobody listens to the news?

In a letter to viewers, the channel said Friday, “We created Current to give voice to those Americans who refuse to rely on corporate-controlled media and are seeking an authentic progressive outlet. We are more committed to those goals today than ever before. Current was also founded on the values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty to our viewers. Unfortunately these values are no longer reflected in our relationship with Keith Olbermann and we have ended it.”

He’s not enough of a ProgNazi for your ProgNazi network? What does it take anyway? Armbands? Jackboots? Incoherent babbling about the Final Solution?

Not content with slapping the Most Ignored Mug on TV™ by booting him off on a Friday, Current TV decided to add insult to injury:

Mr. Olbermann will not be given an opportunity to sign off. Starting Friday night, the former New York governor Eliot Spitzer will replace him at 8 p.m., according to the letter to viewers. His program will be titled “Viewpoint with Eliot Spitzer.”

They’re replacing the ranting, spittle-flecked Olberdouche with Eliot Whore Monger Spitzer?

The Imperial News Network was unable to reach Olberdouche for comment as he wouldn’t come out of his bathtub.


UPDATE: Olberdouche responds to the Douche TV statement:

It goes almost without saying that the claims against me implied in Current’s statement are untrue and will be proved so in the legal actions I will be filing against them presently. […] In due course, the truth of the ethics of Mr. Gore and Mr. Hyatt will come out.

Oh our Imperial Stars! DOUCHE FIGHT!™

Go get the popcorn, somebody, we’ll furnish the beer.


  1. 1
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    They really need to back and watch “Triumph of the Will” again and take copious notes.

  2. 2
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    “Hello, I’m Keith Olbermann. Welcome to Walmart you right-wing racist homophobes!”

  3. 3
    bruce growls and barks:

    who is this guy and what channel is that.does any one watch it?

  4. 4
  5. 5
    BrendaK growls and barks:

    Well, now. I can’t believe Current TV would deliberately leave themselves open to a lawsuit, so I figure they must have added a special ‘Assholery’ clause to his contract.

    Which, with Olberhack, is never a bad idea.

  6. 6
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    Olberclown: The Terrell Owens of the broadcast booth.

  7. 7
    LC Jackboot IC/A growls and barks:

    Grrrrr….just got home, read some articles but didn’t refresh my RSS feed for the site. So I sees this article about Keefe and banged out a quick post. Published and when I refreshed the feed, BINGO this pops up.

    Dammit Boss we gotta stop this shit, it isn’t the first time it’s happened ya’ know?

    The question that really stands out is what the hell were these dopes thinking signing him on to a 5-year $50 MILLION contract? The turd spent a year on the air there so by my calculation he scored $10-million. Anybody wanna guess where those bucks were coming from? Hint: His surname starts with “S” and he had a lot of fun, selling out people to the Nazis, back in the day.

  8. 8
    LC CiSSnarl5.7 Chariot Builder growls and barks:

    Al Gore….Olberdouche…..

    SLAP FIIIIIIGHT……!!!111!!

    A couple of Lil Fool Bitches if there ever were. ….

  9. 9
    The Watcher growls and barks:

    ‘Gentlemen, step off ten paces, turn, and squeeze your Summer’s Eve.’

    Knowing Olbermann, he’d probably use something vinegar-based – it’d match his sour disposition.

  10. 10
    Secondmouse growls and barks:

    Somebody probably got to reading the fine print crayon on their income statement and realized his salary was almost all of their total expenses, and this is hard to spread over a viewer base comprised entirely of staff family members and Olbermann’s two homosexual groupies.

    bankruptcy can’t be far behind.

  11. 11
    Dragineez growls and barks:

    Just heard about this and thought I’d pop over to the Rott to see the reaction. I’ve not been disappointed. Although I do find it strange that Al Gore could make such a wise decision.

  12. 12
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    bruce says:

    who is this guy and what channel is that.does any one watch it?

    Apparently, in an unprecedented move, Current TV surveyed their entire viewer base and neither one of them liked Olbermann.

  13. 13
    LC FX Phillips growls and barks:

    In perhaps one of the more obtuse bouts of being self unaware we get this flaming heap of asininity.

    In a letter to viewers, the channel said Friday, “We created Current to give voice to those Americans who refuse to rely on corporate-controlled media

    All this while being organized as a corporation.

    This is why liberalism fails as an ideology. They can’t even adhere to their first commandment. Thou shall not be a hypocrite.

  14. 14
    LC Jackboot IC/A growls and barks:

    LC FX Phillips says:

    This is why liberalism fails as an ideology.

    Why of course they can do that with a straight face. They honestly think that their corporation is better than others as whatever they construct is done for purely altruistic ‘need’, as all endeavors of the left must by definition be. They believe that men are angels and should govern as such. They fail exactly because of this as it ignores the human-nature and imperfections of men.

  15. 15
    BigDogg growls and barks:

    Olberdouche vs. the Goracle … this is epic … crazed, delusional egomaniac vs. crazed, delusional egomaniac. This is like locking two paranoid schizophrenics in a dark cell and piping in whisper sounds.

  16. 16
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    Front row seat…so I can cheer them both on!

  17. 17
    LC Timberwolf - Keeper of the Imperial Malinois growls and barks:

    Ohh, this just chaps my ass. NO, not the 29th firing of KO (When is it an official KO of KO and we can drag him outta the ring… Forever?)

    What gets me is that this obnoxiously racist and misogynistic ASSHOLE had a fuckin’ CONTRACT for 5 years at FIFTY MILLION BUCKS???

    In the best years of my lifelong business, I never made 100,000 bucks, not by myself. And not to brag, but I thought I was pretty fuckin’ GOOD at what I did… :em03:

    Now, it turns out that I coulda talked SHIT, called anyone everything but a white man, flipped on issues and alliances as long as I preached a solid line of defamation, and basically acted like the asshole I really was? DAMN, I shoulda stayed the same as I was being a drunk 22 year old for one wild summer! 10 million a year, hell yeah! Can you dig it??? :em04:

    Nah. I believe that I and most all of you on here have a sense of Honesty, Honor, Integrity, and Valor that precludes such dementia. I’d rather live under a bridge in a ’74 Pinto, broke as hell, than make 10 million dollars in a year being someone’s PUNK!

    Hey, Olby? George Soros and his little-dicked pals are tired of reaming you for sport. Go lay in the bar ditch, bitch!

    I’d advise curing that ass pain, but when the demons from Hell take you for their pleasure there will be no relief in that short respite.

    Various and certain conservative and libertarian ladies are laughing at your impending…. No, civilized people leave such things to raw imaginations. Sleep well.