Oh Just Git, You Filthy Carpet-Bagging Sumbitch!

Mittens ObamneyCare is currently trying to win the hearts and minds of Southerners in Mississippi and, as we all know, nothing is more likely to endear you to a Southerner than some obviously fake, condescending carpet-baggery:

In Mississippi, Romney did try out some Southern charm, telling his audience he was “an unofficial Southerner.”

“I am learning to say y’all and I like grits, and things,” he joked. “Strange things are happening to me.”

Aw bless his heart if that ain’t just darlin’! Lookithat: Silver Spoons has managed to pinpoint exactly what the South is all about. It’s all grits and y’all. Heck, I wonder why he didn’t throw in a few references to inbreeding, cowboys and kids eating paint chips as well. Maybe he’s just trying to ramp up his Southern authenticity gently so it doesn’t look all fake.

Still got tar, feathers and rails handy out there in Mississippi? You might need ‘em. Show him something truly Southern.

Insufferable, arrogant, useless fucking twat.

Thatisall.

36 comments

  1. 1
    LC SmokeyBehr growls and barks:

    He’s still a carpetbagging Yankee. And Obama is still a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure…

  2. 2
    redc1c4 growls and barks:

    speaking from beautiful Southern California (which *IS* below the Mason-Dixion Line, thankyouverymuch), Mittens needs to be drenched with molasses, then sprinkled with seed corn and left staked out next to a fire ant hill near a hog wallow…

    that way he can decide which fate he wants to beg for… fuck that useless fuck.

    i’ll vote for him on the twelfth of fucking never, and not a day sooner.

  3. 3
    single stack growls and barks:

    It’s always grits, never grit. Unless you’re talking about sandpaper.

  4. 4
    Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan growls and barks:

    Note, as I type this I’m choking down bile……

    I’m pulling for Mittens at this point. It seems I must choose between him and Santorum and living in Pennsylvania I can’t get behind Rick if there is ANY other alternative. The way I see it record wise there really is little difference between the two and history shows that Mittens will suck up to the people who put him in office. Santorum will lie to your face right before stabbing you in the back. Add to that I don’t see Mitt going off on a religious tirade thinking it is his personal mission to save my soul. (No thanks RIck, I’ll talk to G*D on my own, if I don’t need the Pope to intercede on my behalf I certainly don’t need you.)

    Yep Mittens is a useless, plastic piece of filth…. but I’ve given up on the hope of believing in my President. If he’s the best I can hope for right now then so be it.

    Now if you’ll excuse me I feel dirty, time to hit the shower.

  5. 5
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    The worst impression of “southern” since the Hildebeest.

  6. 6
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    single stack says:

    It’s always grits, never grit. Unless you’re talking about sandpaper.

    Damn straight. And damn typo-inducing keyboard too. Thanks for the correction :em01:
    Emperor Misha I recently posted..Oh Just Git, You Filthy Carpet-Bagging Sumbitch!My Profile

  7. 7
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    Speaking of correction, Sire,
    WHERE’S THE EDIT KEY?!?!

    I really, really miss it…

  8. 8
    LC Draco growls and barks:

    LOL….Foxnews just nailed one. They said NEVER say ‘cheesy grits’ in the South…they are ‘CHEESE grits’!!!

    :em07:
    LC Draco recently posted..Help Support ARMi 501(c)(3)My Profile

  9. 9

    ‘Don’t care if he knows just what to do with a mudbug, Even if he wins,, I’m still gonna’ boil Mit’z (figuratively) in his own rue for the carnage that ensued after he disarmed the citizens of Mass..

  10. 10
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    … bless his fucking pointed little head, you mean …

  11. 11
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    LC SmokeyBehr says:

    He’s still a carpetbagging Yankee. And Obama is still a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure…

    :em01: :em01: :em01:

  12. 12

    seems he shares the stereotype of Southerners that the media does……

    maybe that’s why they’re not slamming him for this stupid statement

  13. 13
    L.C. Mope growls and barks:

    fake, condescending carpet-baggery

    You must mean fake, condescending douche-baggery.

  14. 14
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    LC SmokeyBehr says:

    He’s still a carpetbagging Yankee. And Obama is still a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure…

    Preach it!

    Oh, and it gets better. I just didn’t bother to extract this from that article:

    The re-jiggered lines in Romney’s speech come a day after a campaign aide acknowledged the candidate was “working to establish a stronger connection with lower-income voters, with voters who are struggling.”

    See, Mittens-bots, not to mention Mittens McFakeFuck hisself?

    THAT’S THE EVERLOVIN’ FUCKIN’ PROBLEM WITH THAT ROADKILLED PIECE OF SHIT.

    If you’re worth voting for, you don’t NEED to “re-jigger” or “establish stronger connections”, you just have to be your own damn self.

    That constant re-tailoring, re-making and re-shaping your every damn word is EXACTLY why nobody with an ounce of brains, not even my grits-eating, y’all-saying, NASCAR-loving nephew Cletus, is going to buy word ONE of what you’re saying because we KNOW that you’ll speak through whichever side of your mouth your handlers have told you to speak.

    An honest, honorable man wouldn’t even think about pretending to be something he’s not. An honest, honorable man will be who he is and if that isn’t what people are looking for, then he’d rather go down in defeat than ever consider playing a damn fool to make folks think that he’s somebody else.

    The only thing that we DO know about you, Mittens ObamneyCare, “Let’s Not Say Anything Bad About Ogabe”, “Ogabe Is Really Not To Blame For High Energy Prices”, “I Was For A Government Mandate Before I Was Against It”, is that you’d gleefully crawl through Helen Thomas’ fly-infested, crusty, oozing labia if it meant you could claw your way to the presidency, and we’ve already got one of those. Kind of pointless to try to pick one clone over the other, if you ask us.

    Honor, duty, integrity, G-d, country, honesty.

    Google it, you slimy northern pansy prick. It actually means something in some parts of the country. Even more than grits and y’all too.

    Now kindly go overdose on a couple of cases of Dom Perignon, you pissant, prancing sack of pig shit.
    Emperor Misha I recently posted..Oh Just Git, You Filthy Carpet-Bagging Sumbitch!My Profile

  15. 15

    FrankOK says:

    … bless his fucking pointed little head, you mean …

    I always heard it “Bless his heart,” as the preface to a “but…” when you were about to insult someone for being stupider’n a possum.

    I don’t want Romneyavitch OR Sanitarium as teh potus, but what I don’t want most of all is any more of the Gay Chupacabra. Whatever we do, we’ve GOT to get back Congress to an undefeatable level. We’ve got to get a sufficiency that we can impeach the Judges that it put in the SCOTUS as compromised goods. We’ve got to get some true Constitutionally intelligent sorts that will go through all the bullshit foist upon us and delete it.
    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician recently posted..High crime rates are a good thing?My Profile

  16. 16

    Emperor Misha I says:

    That constant re-tailoring, re-making and re-shaping your every damn word is EXACTLY why nobody with an ounce of brains, not even my grits-eating, y’all-saying, NASCAR-loving nephew Cletus, is going to buy word ONE of what you’re saying because we KNOW that you’ll speak through whichever side of your mouth your handlers have told you to speak.

    An honest, honorable man wouldn’t even think about pretending to be something he’s not. An honest, honorable man will be who he is and if that isn’t what people are looking for, then he’d rather go down in defeat than ever consider playing a damn fool to make folks think that he’s somebody else.

    Preach it, SIRE!!!!!!!!!
    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician recently posted..High crime rates are a good thing?My Profile

  17. 17
    LC Jackboot IC/A growls and barks:

    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician says:

    get a sufficiency that we can impeach the Judges

    Now there is one of the critical things we must do. Our judiciary is the only remaining balance to an out of control congress and executive branch. Almost unobserved by the public in general, is that the left has been packing the bench for decades. The fact that should Ozero get re-elected, he’ll have a chance to finally tilt SCOTUS into a solid leftist bench, with a very good chance of two retirements in the next few years. With that accomplished there would be nothing to stop them from pushing through any and all egregious law making. Hell, the left can completely count on a leftist lower bench right now, the SCOTUS would be the finishing touch of a judiciary coup. The only non-violent remedy we have right now is to impeach the treasonous bastards, but personally I can think of a better solution pour les outres. Could be a real time saver yanno.
    LC Jackboot IC/A recently posted..Our most precious bloodMy Profile

  18. 18

    I tried a grit for the first time in basic training. I didn’t like it.

    Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan @ #:
    You and I are SO in synch on that!!!!
    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..Cough Drops… they’re a right, right?My Profile

  19. 19
    Southern Libertarian growls and barks:

    Mittens

    “I am learning to say y’all and I like grits, and things,” he joked. “Strange things are happening to me.”

    And strange things are happening to me too Mittens, like to urge to slap the shit out of you. Perhaps I should head on up to ole Massachussets and show off my phoney baloney yankee accent. I doubt you would appreciate that very much. Heck I do a hella good Brittish accent too…in my mind but I don’t think I would be welcomed with open arms if I took a trip to London and starting making fun of thier accents by dong a piss poor imitatiion of it.

  20. 20
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    Anne Romney’s here today and I’m looking forward to nice weather tomorrow so I can go to the polls and vote for NotRomney.

  21. 21

    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch says:

    I tried a grit for the first time in basic training. I didn’t like it.

    dated a girl from Florida while in college….she made really good grits and eggs for breakfast…… :em01:

  22. 22
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    “I am learning to say y’all and I like grits, and things,” he joked. “Strange things are happening to me.”

    Oh yeah. Next thing you know Mittens will be sporting a NASCAR cap, swigging down PBR and declaring how some of his best friends live in trailer parks.

    His idea of studying southern culture was watching a couple of episodes of “Justified” while traveling on his private jet.

  23. 23
    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

    I think I would rather have Ogabe calling us in flyover country bitter, and clinging to our guns and religion, than “faux” southerners like Shrillery and Mittens. At least we knew the depth of O’s contempt for us.

  24. 24
    Southern Libertarian growls and barks:

    LC Gunsniper says:

    Oh yeah. Next thing you know Mittens will be sporting a NASCAR cap, swigging down PBR and declaring how some of his best friends live in trailer parks.

    :em05:
    That’s funny. I don’t think Mittens will be able to pull off a NASCAR cap and if he ever tried a PBR he would probably get sick. Still that’s a funny image I just got in my head of Mittens trying to fit the NASCAR cap over his hairmet.
    Mittens living in a trailer park wearing some overalls…now that is a mental image that made me laught so hard that my soda went up my nose.

  25. 25
    Southern Libertarian growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I

    Heck, I wonder why he didn’t throw in a few references to inbreeding, cowboys and kids eating paint chips as well. Maybe he’s just trying to ramp up his Southern authenticity gently so it doesn’t look all fake.

    Sir, with all due respect… you forgot about being a regular on Cops getting arrested in a wifebeater talking about “b**** better not touch my cigarettes”. :em05:

    P.S. Who is good with photoshop around here? I have gotta see the following.
    1. Mittens in a wifebeater getting arrested.
    and
    2. Mittens in overalls, carrying a pitchfork, drinking PBR while standing in front of a trailer park home.

    If you or anyone else can do that you will be my bestest friend forever. :em01:

  26. 26
    Southern Libertarian growls and barks:

    “That Mittens sure do gotta purdy mouth.” ( Cue the dueling banjos)

    Yeah, we gotta find a way to photoshop him into Deliverance too… damn I really do need some professional help don’t I? :em05:

  27. 27
    LC Wicked Fenrir growls and barks:

    Okay, if I try PBR, I get sick. How about some Shiner Bock?

    Sonya Sotomayer. Elena Kagan. It’s the only thing that gets my blood pressure below the boiling point when I think of that Yankee cocksucker … oh, wait. He’s below the Mason-Dixon line? A thousand pardons. That Damnyankee cocksucker.

  28. 28
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    Gollee, Mr. Romney. You use yore mouth purtier than a $20 whore. (Thank you, Slim Pickins)

  29. 29
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    Even (oil baron’s daughter) Molly Ivins, lefty darling, was moved to write a column titled “Yankee Bigots” for the toffee-noses at the New York Slimes back in the Eighties.

    They of course published it, sniggering.

  30. 30
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    As for the rest, as my Uncle Clyde (with a genius-level IQ, thank you very much) drawled, “There’s nothing they think about us that’s half as bad as what we think about them.” And he added, “If I’d-a known it was gonna turn out like this, I’d-a picked my own damned cotton.”

    Uncle Buck allowed as how the black folks are, you know, more prejudiced than the white folks. Heaven forbid that anyone should mention it.

    Re Mitt: Let’s remember what Milton Friedman said about politicians [paraphrasing]: “Throw the bums out? It’s not about throwing the bums out, finding the ‘right man’! You’re not going to find the right man — they’re politicians. What we have to do is make it easy for the Wrong Man to do the Right Things!

    A-men.

  31. 31
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician @ #:
    I worked with a fellow some years ago whose favorite simile (your “possum” comment reminded me of it) was “Dumber than a two day old possum with a skull fracture”.

    Now – that’s one fucked up possum.
    FrankOK recently posted..After a 70 year hiatus, …My Profile

  32. 32
    SoCalOilMan, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    I hope y’all don’t get too offended when “y’all” slips into my speechifyin’. I was born a Californian, from Californian parents, but at age 10 I spent a summer with relatives from Oklahoma and bizzare but seemingly natural words like “y’all” and “crick” (creek) got into my vocabulary. Their use is like “either” or “Ither”, it’s just what feels right at the time. Ya know, there is no real thought about it. Dude.

    Also, I’ll take a Stetson (straw or fur) over a baseball cap, I could care less about NASCAR, and the PAC-10 will dominate the SEC again.

  33. 33
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    SoCalOilMan, K.o.E. says:

    Also, I’ll take a Stetson (straw or fur) over a baseball cap, I could care less about NASCAR, and the PAC-10 will dominate the SEC again.

    Only with an Obama Stimulus Program cash and government-brokered talent redistribution. The PAC-10 can’t help it, though…they come from devastatingly liberal states.

    The South will rise again.

  34. 34
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    :em05: :em05:

    LC Ogrrre says:

    Gollee, Mr. Romney. You use yore mouth purtier than a $20 whore. (Thank you, Slim Pickins)

    :em05: :em05:
    FrankOK recently posted..After a 70 year hiatus, …My Profile

  35. 35
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    Well, I guess his farcical drawl and temporary love of cheesy grits didn’t work for him. Third place bitch, you just got served. Newt is now the just in it to fuck over Mittens with a 2×4 wrapped in razor wire (fine by me, video please). A couple of months ago I was praying that this would go all the way to the convention and Palin would come in and blow the whole fucking convention up like a row boat in Tokyo harbor circa 1945.

    I’m think I might get a positive answer.

  36. 36

    “I am learning to say y’all and I like grits, and things,” he joked. “Strange things are happening to me.”

    Saying Ya’ll and liking grits don’t make you Southern Mittens. That just makes you sound like a freaking bigot.

    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician says:

    I always heard it “Bless his heart,” as the preface to a “but…” when you were about to insult someone for being stupider’n a possum.

    Well the really cutting insult would be “Bless his li’ll pea picken heart”. Which translates to “The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.”

    :em05: