Oh Ferchrissakes!

It’s bad enough that the Food Nazis are sending out inspectors to confiscate little children’s food and humiliating them in front of their peers, now we have the bastard nanny statist meddling swine fucking around with our military too (h/t Jeff G.):

The nutrition education program alerts soldiers that “red” foods like bacon and apple pie should only be eaten rarely, with a warning: “limit intake.” Foods labeled green, however, such as mustard greens, are deemed “premium fuel for the soldier athlete,” “fresh and flavorful” and “nutrient dense.” Soldiers are advised to eat these frequently.

Because nothing helps and feeds a battle-rattle humping trooper more than a heaping helping of rabbit food!

[LTC] Cable represents the U.S. Army Soldier Fueling Initiative, which is remaking dining facilities at Initial Military Training sites across the country. She currently serves as a dietitian and the Chief of the Human Dimensions Division within the Initial Military Training Center of Excellence.

During the panel discussion she advised using the “red, amber, green” system in public schools too.

“My eyes got opened very quickly that it really is a community,” she said, about her visit to Fort Jackson, S.C. seven years ago to observe its dining facilities. “We talk about a village that raises a child.

No, we don’t. Only commie cunts and their retarded followers talk about such nonsense.

How the fuck did that mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging imbecile ever get her commission? That’s what we want to know. We weren’t aware that they were available from vending machines these days.

Well a community develops a brand new soldier, too. And that’s what we found there.”

“When I got there our dining facilities were typical dining facility type styles, you know, the fried foods, salad bars existed,” Cable continued.

FRIED FOODS, EEEEEEK! Quick, somebody throw some Holy Evian at it!

If you walk into a basic training cafeteria today you will find far fewer fried foods and soda machines have been replaced with “hydration stations,” she explained.

What. The. Fuck. OVER??? “Hydration stations?” Seriously. Tell us that we’re reading something out of The Onion!

“In the military we all kind of know red means, ‘uh oh, there’s problems,’” Cable said. “Amber, middle of the road, we’re doing okay. And green is good to go, all is right. We took that same concept and we applied it to our menus.”

Because, obviously, the same troops who are perfectly qualified to handle, operate and deal out destruction with some of the most advanced technology known to man are just too damn dumb to figure out what food they “ought to” eat without sticking brightly colored labels on it.

Honestly, if we were still in the service and happened to find that flapping cuntmuffin parading her condescending claptrap at our post, we’d be in the brig quicker than you can say “tofu” for pounding a superior officer into an oozing heap of bloody, red meat.

“I had some folks say to me, ‘Well, why on earth did you even include the red ones to begin with?’ Two reasons – one, we’ve got soldiers who have racehorse metabolisms that they needed every calorie I could get into them.

We even have a name for those “soldiers with racehorse metabolisms”. We call them “soldiers”, as opposed to “pencil-pushing, desk jockeying, REMF pogue shitbirds who ought by right to be jettisoned from the back of a cargo plane over Indian Country without the benefit of a parachute.”

You see, they don’t have “racehorse metabolisms”, they just happen to do what you’re obviously unfamiliar with, you parade ground vaudeville “officer” fuckhead, and it’s called “physical labor.” That tends to burn calories. A lot. A lot more, too, than can be easily replenished by a tossed salad with edamame and bean sprouts.

On the breakfast menu oven-fried bacon, sausage gravy, butter, sugary cereal and egg, sausage and cheese sandwiches earn a red label. Assorted low-fat yogurt, oven-fried Canadian bacon, broccoli quiche and cholesterol-free scrambled eggs are deemed “high performance” foods.

“Broccoli quiche?” Things may have changed, we’re sure they have, but in our day even knowing what “broccoli quiche” was, much less having a plate of it in front of you in the mess hall, would earn you a week of finding yourself frequently upside down in a latrine.

What this nation really needs is a full-scale, no-holds-barred, balls to the wall mutiny.

And rope. Lots and lots of rope.

Thatisall.

newest oldest most voted
Notify of
The Irish Dragoness
The Irish Dragoness

Yea, soldiers aren’t capable of making good choices for themselves so we need to color-code food for them….GIVE ME A BREAK! It’s insulting to treat them like elementary students who have color-coded tags on their food and in their clothes (so they can learn match).

LC hilljohnny
LC hilljohnny

it’s been a few years (ok decades) but i seem to recall condition red meant you’re ready to fire, condition amber was a full pitcher of beer and green was the lime jello cubes you could use to play raquetball. 😉

LC Spare Parts
LC Spare Parts

If this doesn’t bring on a military Coup, nothing will. DoD dieticians sent by Moochelle need a few of the infamous Viet Nam era chocolate nut rolls shoved up their posteriors.

LC Gunsniper
LC Gunsniper

Foods labeled green, however, such as mustard greens, are deemed “premium fuel for the soldier athlete,” “fresh and flavorful” and “nutrient dense.”

:em05:

On exactly what planet is this true? All this idiotic rehash of failed nutrition programs past is encourage soldiers to eat at an AAFES cafeteria and go offpost for meals.

Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan
Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan

I wonder how much of the ONE pan of broccoli quiche that is made for breakfasts gets thrown out each morning? I like a salad as much as anyone, it’s a great side dish, goes great with my steak. That being said if you take the main course out of my meal and then expect me to be pleasant…… you’re… Read more »

dasbow
dasbow

She currently serves as a dietitian and the Chief of the Human Dimensions Division within the Initial Military Training Center of Excellence.

Does that mean she’s eligible for the Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence?

http://simpsonswiki.net/wiki/The_Field_of_Excellence

LC HJ Caveman82952
LC HJ Caveman82952

:em05: Yeah…I can remember these freaks giving lectures on the dangers of smoking to combat vets…..

LC Light29ID - The Imperial Asshole
LC Light29ID - The Imperial Asshole

She currently serves as a dietitian and the Chief of the Human Dimensions Division within the Initial Military Training Center of Excellence. Is this division a sub-sector of the Ministry of Love or Peace or Plenty? On the breakfast menu oven-fried bacon, sausage gravy, butter, sugary cereal and egg, sausage and cheese sandwiches earn a red label. Otherwise known as… Read more »

The Irish Dragon
The Irish Dragon

All the little fucking worms who spent the last ten years hiding in B-billets and any other non-combat area they could find, all while trumpeting their “service” back home, are coming back out now, and this shitbird is one of them. Those who fought, bled, and killed for their country are being shown the door, and this is just one… Read more »

LC Old Dog
LC Old Dog

Shit on a Stick! Someone make this scrunt Google “Farmers Breakfast”! There is a reason for the meal, it is for people who are getting ready to work there ass off for the next 10 to 12 hours! You know kinda like Soldiers in the field. Oh Wait, this REMF has no idea what “in the field” means!!

mousseman
mousseman

Holy crap. Is this the Tofu and Veggie Corps striking back? Or is it they have a budget for some tomato salad advisor, but not for something needed gear? One of the few things I will pass on in the US military cuisine is SoS and that MRE with macaroni and cheese because they’re just plain awful. Even with Chili… Read more »

LC Xystus
LC Xystus

Mitä helvettiä?

Was in der fickenden Hölle?!

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

This is insane. When you fight and possibly die for your country you should have the right to a can of pop rather than water in the mess hall. With over 10 years in the real military. I had to really make real decisions rather than the pencil pusher lecturer in chief who has a GOD complex, who never even… Read more »

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

One thought more …. let’s demand that Obama and all his appointed goons serve in the military for a minimum of 6 months before they can resume any duties in Washington. Let’s put them on the ground in Afganistan and see how well they fare with green beans and grapes. And lets not forget to cut their combat pay while… Read more »

LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard

OT, but Olympia Snowe (RINO, Maine) has announced she won’t run for reelection. She says she decided not to run because of the polarization of politics in the Senate. Apparently, she has got enough mail from real Republicans telling her that bending over and spreading cheek for the Democrats is not acceptable behavior any more. If her seat (Senate seat,… Read more »

LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse

Great. The cancer that is the liberal nanny state mindset has now metastasized to the armed forces, and made it all the way to the rank of Lt. Col. What’s next, fuschia BDUs? A scoped Taser rifle? Troops running drills shouting “Kill! Kill! Kill! Eat Your Arugula!”? I guess we can’t have those readiness and efficiency ratings at traditional levels… Read more »

mousseman
mousseman

Secondmouse @ #:

I can already imagine a Marine DI yell “One, two, three, four, we’re in for an aragula tour”.

And for the fuchsia BDUs…well, make no mistake, they exist. :em07:

mousseman
mousseman

LC Xystus @ #:

They try this stuff everywhere. Trust me. Maybe US soldiers will put up with SoS, but nobody in Western Europe will. We have more style when it comes to military cuisine.

LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard

And, just what is wrong with Shit on a Shingle? I like it. That and liver and onions or biscuits and gravy. Sounds like a bunch of pussies around here. :em05:

rickl
rickl

I wonder what she would think of salt pork and hardtack?

Mark12A
Mark12A

Rickl–I don’t think she would think much of it is someone shoved it up her ass. They’re trying to turn soldiers into pussies. And my favorite breakfast was a stack of pancakes with a fried egg on top with a shit load of bacon. Washed down with about a gallon of paint remover from the coffee dispenser. I’m 61 years… Read more »

Mao's Dog
Mao's Dog

I can’t believe the hating on the broccoli quiche!! Man I love this dish!

1) Lots of cheese!! yum!
2) LOTS of egg proteins and the cholesterol that is a pre-cursor to building testosterone levels!
3) Broccoli! One of the few veggies I eat!

Of course if they knew this it would be a “red” food i guess!

rickn8or
rickn8or

Well, she certainly spouts all the ooshy-gooshy feel-good buzzwords. Which have absolutely no foundation in reality.

I have this vision that were she to visit any military mess halls, she would be told to “put on an apron and start making sammitches, or get your ass outta my mess hall!”

Perhaps I’m dreaming too much.

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery

Shit on a Shingle, broccoli quiche, liver and onions …….

What’s all that stuff? that ain’t food……THIS is good eatin’

readerjp
readerjp

You think that’s bad? Take a look at this: Debasing Our Military, One Politically Correct Moment After Another By Arnold Ahlert At Camp Zama in Japan, the Army ordered combat veterans to wear fake breasts and “empathy bellies,” aka “pregnancy simulators” so they can get a better understanding of how pregnant soldiers feel during physical training. The Pregnancy Postpartum Physical… Read more »

FrankOK
FrankOK

Who exactly is this whining bitch?

Azygos
Azygos

I can tell ya if you took our SOS away there would be a revolt.

Tallulah
Tallulah

God. Damn. NATO. Just picked this up at Ace of Spades: from Maet’s overnight thread. NATO Agrees to Prosecutions for Koran Burnings 2. After the shameful incident by the US soldiers stationed in Bagram, senior NATO and American officials expressed their deep apologies to the Muslim nation of Afghanistan and assured that such incidents will not happen again. 3. NATO… Read more »

Tallulah
Tallulah

#2 and #3 above are taken from the NATO communique: the last two paragraphs are Maetenloch’s reply.

simonwise
simonwise

Those food Nazis better add lots more of Saltpeter to the chow at Parris Island:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2107338/Gay-marines-follow-wake-lesbian-home-coming-kiss.html :em05:

NR Pax
NR Pax

Ah, the saltpeter rumor. God love whoever came up with an explanation that distracted you from realizing that the reason an erection was impossible is because you were too damn tired in body and soul to care.

sleeper
sleeper

What’s next, algae?

LC Draco
LC Draco

I found this – >> LTC Sonya Cable, MBA, RD, LDN – HERE Another reason this makes no sense is for the following reasons: 1. Unlike REMFs who push a desk all day, combat soldiers, on average, do PT every day. (Sometimes THREE times a day, like I used to do), 2. That being the case, we require higher caloric… Read more »

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery says:

Shit on a Shingle, broccoli quiche, liver and onions …….
What’s all that stuff? that ain’t food……THIS is good eatin’

Dammit, now I have to wipe a quart of drool off my keyboard.

LC Dread Pirate Geoarrge
LC Dread Pirate Geoarrge

I’m a chubby civilian and I’ve lost 13 pounds in the past month and a half on a pseudo-Atkins diet (47 more to go) I’m just saying: The conventional wisdom on fat and carbohydrates is largely wrong. Not only are the Health Nazis wrong to be fussing to this level of detail on people’s diets, even putting that issue aside,… Read more »

Draven32
Draven32

She’s talking about BASIC TRAINEES at FORT JACKSON… where i went to basic a lifetime ago… where the ‘average’ soldiers has to eat and eat and eat (3000 calories a day plus) in order to not lose weight when they are supposed to be gaining muscle…

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.

Feed that cow a meal or two of cold Ham-n-mothers. As for the arrugula – that food is named for the sound I make when contemplating eating it. I bet the military doesn’t serve arrugula or thatd other stuff to hte international refugees they coddle when they’re not being used as props for Hillary, our walking SoS. But it gets… Read more »

LibraryGryffon
LibraryGryffon

I cut down on grains years ago, because I found out I was allergic to wheat (as in “where’s my inhaler?”) not to mention other GI issues. I decided it was time to lose the baby fat (the youngest just turned 14) last summer, and cut out a lot of grain products. In January I discovered Mark’s Daily Apple, and… Read more »

LibraryGryffon
LibraryGryffon

LibraryGryffon @ #:
I should add that I do eat a lot of vegetables, but that’s in addition to lots of meat and eggs, not instead of. And not as much dairy, but when you start eating the good stuff, the Kraft cheddar starts tasting nasty. Now some good goat milk brie…..