It’s bad enough that the Food Nazis are sending out inspectors to confiscate little children’s food and humiliating them in front of their peers, now we have the bastard nanny statist meddling swine fucking around with our military too (h/t Jeff G.):
The nutrition education program alerts soldiers that “red” foods like bacon and apple pie should only be eaten rarely, with a warning: “limit intake.” Foods labeled green, however, such as mustard greens, are deemed “premium fuel for the soldier athlete,” “fresh and flavorful” and “nutrient dense.” Soldiers are advised to eat these frequently.
Because nothing helps and feeds a battle-rattle humping trooper more than a heaping helping of rabbit food!
[LTC] Cable represents the U.S. Army Soldier Fueling Initiative, which is remaking dining facilities at Initial Military Training sites across the country. She currently serves as a dietitian and the Chief of the Human Dimensions Division within the Initial Military Training Center of Excellence.
During the panel discussion she advised using the “red, amber, green” system in public schools too.
“My eyes got opened very quickly that it really is a community,” she said, about her visit to Fort Jackson, S.C. seven years ago to observe its dining facilities. “We talk about a village that raises a child.
No, we don’t. Only commie cunts and their retarded followers talk about such nonsense.
How the fuck did that mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging imbecile ever get her commission? That’s what we want to know. We weren’t aware that they were available from vending machines these days.
Well a community develops a brand new soldier, too. And that’s what we found there.”
“When I got there our dining facilities were typical dining facility type styles, you know, the fried foods, salad bars existed,” Cable continued.
FRIED FOODS, EEEEEEK! Quick, somebody throw some Holy Evian at it!
If you walk into a basic training cafeteria today you will find far fewer fried foods and soda machines have been replaced with “hydration stations,” she explained.
What. The. Fuck. OVER??? “Hydration stations?” Seriously. Tell us that we’re reading something out of The Onion!
“In the military we all kind of know red means, ‘uh oh, there’s problems,’” Cable said. “Amber, middle of the road, we’re doing okay. And green is good to go, all is right. We took that same concept and we applied it to our menus.”
Because, obviously, the same troops who are perfectly qualified to handle, operate and deal out destruction with some of the most advanced technology known to man are just too damn dumb to figure out what food they “ought to” eat without sticking brightly colored labels on it.
Honestly, if we were still in the service and happened to find that flapping cuntmuffin parading her condescending claptrap at our post, we’d be in the brig quicker than you can say “tofu” for pounding a superior officer into an oozing heap of bloody, red meat.
“I had some folks say to me, ‘Well, why on earth did you even include the red ones to begin with?’ Two reasons – one, we’ve got soldiers who have racehorse metabolisms that they needed every calorie I could get into them.
We even have a name for those “soldiers with racehorse metabolisms”. We call them “soldiers”, as opposed to “pencil-pushing, desk jockeying, REMF pogue shitbirds who ought by right to be jettisoned from the back of a cargo plane over Indian Country without the benefit of a parachute.”
You see, they don’t have “racehorse metabolisms”, they just happen to do what you’re obviously unfamiliar with, you parade ground vaudeville “officer” fuckhead, and it’s called “physical labor.” That tends to burn calories. A lot. A lot more, too, than can be easily replenished by a tossed salad with edamame and bean sprouts.
On the breakfast menu oven-fried bacon, sausage gravy, butter, sugary cereal and egg, sausage and cheese sandwiches earn a red label. Assorted low-fat yogurt, oven-fried Canadian bacon, broccoli quiche and cholesterol-free scrambled eggs are deemed “high performance” foods.
“Broccoli quiche?” Things may have changed, we’re sure they have, but in our day even knowing what “broccoli quiche” was, much less having a plate of it in front of you in the mess hall, would earn you a week of finding yourself frequently upside down in a latrine.
What this nation really needs is a full-scale, no-holds-barred, balls to the wall mutiny.
And rope. Lots and lots of rope.