In Other News, Governor Asterisk Announces Utterly Predictable Trial Balloon for Third Party Candidacy

Not his own, mind you. Not yet.

We’ve had this sneaky suspicion ever since Obama’s ambassador to China gave up his cushy sinecure to run an utterly doomed from the outset, long shot campaign to get the Republican nomination.

We couldn’t quite put our finger on it, all that we knew was that something was off and, based on our occupational hazard-induced refusal to let go of the dog that didn’t bark because everything, in our experience, has to make sense even if we can’t see it at the moment, we instinctively knew that there was something we didn’t yet know. “Give it time”, as we always tell ourself in those situations, “it will come to you.”

After all, why would somebody like him give up a nice, comfortable chair in order to run against his own employer (and surely somebody with an inside line to the current occupant of 1600 Penn Ave, since ambassadorial positions aren’t handed out by randomly picking names from the telephone directory), particularly when even the dumbest of the dumb knew that his was a doomed quest from the outset? Yes, we repeat ourself, but it bears repeating.

Like a pebble in our boot, it kept annoying us. So you, at least if you have an annoying tendency like us to refuse to let go of stuff that doesn’t make sense, start throwing up scenarios under which all of the pieces would fit together. Most of those are wrong and easily shot down, but slowly something starts taking form and congealing in your noggin. At least that’s how the Imperial “mind” works, for better or worse.

Let’s say that you had a president who knew that his own policies would be wildly unpopular and likely to doom his re-election chances. Let’s further say that he realizes that his only hope of simultaneously doing what he wanted to do and surviving his re-election was to split the opposition, just enough so that they couldn’t muster a coalition of votes stronger than his own. It doesn’t really take all that much. Let’s further say that he has somebody who isn’t obviously tied to himself (which would only serve to split his own coalition) who could run as a credible alternative to said president’s obvious enemy coalition. But said individual has a problem: Running third party or independent requires some sort of name recognition in order to be more than just a joke.

What better way for such an individual to accomplish the goals of A) being seen as an alternative to the current president and the “official opposition candidate” AND B) get name recognition than to enter the primaries of the opposition party, all at the same time? Your stalking horse establishes his Not You™ bona fides, ensuring that he won’t be bleeding away votes from your base AND, with the aid of a complicit media, gets all the name recognition in the world.

Click, click, click… All of the pieces of the puzzle falling into place. Which still doesn’t mean that it isn’t all bullshit, it’s a trap that is all too easy to fall into, but at least it offers up a scenario where things start making sense and, on top of that, allows you to get some damn sleep instead of endlessly trying to eff the ineffable into the wee hours of the night.

And now we hear Huntsman starting to talk about “third parties” after having stayed under the radar for a bit since his dropout from the primaries.

Click.

Thatisall.

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LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology
LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology

Find a way to tie this into Coulter’s shilling for the Romster and you’ve got yourself a theory!

Cannon Fodder
Cannon Fodder

I was actually surprised to hear Coulter shilling for Mittens.

LC Mike in Chi
LC Mike in Chi

One thing is certain, when the dem sharks and mediots start ripping the Romulan to shreds, Huntsman will be there to lead the confused masses independent voters into a sure bet of Hopey Changitude.™ Rahmbo here in Daleyville is counting on the Occutards putting that Cloward/Piven/Alinskey spice of civil disorder and rebellion during the G8. This will result in a… Read more »

Bones
Bones

Emporer, you’re close and still not quite gnawing on the right bone. This ‘tard is nothing more than a yellow-bellied (take that however you want) piece of oxen exrement. He still owes hundreds of thousands from his earlier idiotoic run. No one in their right mind is going to give him money to pay off those debts from campaining as… Read more »

Mark12A
Mark12A

Maybe this shitheel will pull voters away from Obama. No conservative will vote for him.

1IDVET
1IDVET

That’s all we need. Another useless candidate that helps Obama get reelected. :em08:

LC Xealot
LC Xealot

At this point I don’t see how Obama and the Semen-Sucking-Socialists can possibly lose. They have the Media in for them, they have the Education system in for them. The Ivory Tower. The Feel-Goods. The Money. And we have a pile of idiots running against him, seemingly the worst candidates the Republican party could possible shit out of its collective… Read more »

bruce
bruce

want to tell me when i try to sign in you will not accept my password?

bruce
bruce

i have no use for any republican ass hole because they have not defunded any of bongo’s policies like bongo care or impeached holder,salazar and every other commie that purple lips surounds his ugly ass with.they cave into what ever bongo wants and they stand mute while bongo and salazar drive the price of gas to $4 dollars a gallon.why… Read more »

AyUaxe
AyUaxe

bruce @ #:

Because you’re entering it wrong? Sorry, couldn’t resist. An apology to management would be nice. We are a heavily armed and therefore very polite bunch around here.

bruce
bruce

no i am not entering it wrong you keep saying wrong password but i have not changed it in 10 years. it is the same one i just used at word press.

AyUaxe
AyUaxe

Huntsman is nothing compared to Laup Nor for fragmentation. The latter pulls from conservative, libertarian, and “independent” electorates, a majority of whom would probably vote against <0, if only a reasonable, consistent Constitutional conservative ran against him. I don't doubt that there is some ugly, venal strategizing being done by <0's backers, but I doubt Huntsman has much to do… Read more »

bruce
bruce

i bet i am more heavely armed than any one you know pluss i have more than 10,000 rounds of ammo and i reload weekly.i shoot off my front porch every day because i live in the forests of central main and yes i vote against snowbrain and collie but it is those mass.libtards along the coast that keep these… Read more »

LC Xealot
LC Xealot

bruce says: i bet i am more heavely armed than any one you know pluss i have more than 10,000 rounds of ammo and i reload weekly.i shoot off my front porch every day because i live in the forests of central main and yes i vote against snowbrain and collie but it is those mass.libtards along the coast that… Read more »

LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse

Misha, your theory reads right out of the NSDWP Encyclopedia of Dirty Tricks, Volume 46, page 834. I would not be surprised to learn that you are right, even if the individual being groomed as the literal ‘straw man’ is someone else. Actually, as far as crap this group has pulled in recent memory, this would seem to them to… Read more »

Mark12A
Mark12A

Screw it. I’m remembering that poem or whatever about “…when they came for the protestants, I kept quiet…”. I started off as “the loyal opposition”; now, the only thing I am loyal to is the American Constitution. How I read it, that is.

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

WOO HOO…….. off topic but Fukin ORGASMIC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrhd2WPd64E

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.

I don’t believe Huntsman could divert more votes than his immediate family. But that is a just diversion and a parlor trick. Like the other exercises, it is intended to create the illusion that the King of Clubs will “win”, while reliable cartoon characters, dead voters and illegal aliens carry the day at the polls. All he needs is the… Read more »

LC MuscleDaddy
LC MuscleDaddy

This isn’t even new… anyone remember Ross Perot?

…then again, why bother coming up w/something new, when Charlie Brown will keep running at that same football over & over…

– MD

Jack O' Spades
Jack O' Spades

I don’t buy that the third party thing will split any anti-Obama vote. I am an independent and thoroughly disgusted by the choices on the Gutless Old Pretenders’ menu, but I’m voting for the Republican candidate, no matter which milquetoast, thumb-sucking charlatan gets the nomination. I think most independents understand the stakes this time around. We aren’t dealing with old… Read more »

Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere
Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere

Who?

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher

LC Xealot says: bruce says: i bet i am more heavely armed than any one you know pluss i have more than 10,000 rounds of ammo and i reload weekly.i shoot off my front porch every day because i live in the forests of central main and yes i vote against snowbrain and collie but it is those mass.libtards along… Read more »

LC Xystus
LC Xystus

AyUaxe: <0's success or lack thereof will more likely turn on DNC cadres getting the dependent, deceased, and multi-registered masses out to campaign and vote early and often. LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.: while reliable cartoon characters, dead voters and illegal aliens carry the day at the polls. Too bad for Narziss von Nulle he won’t be able to get cartoon… Read more »

LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An
LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An

#16 Secondmouse Looks like I am going to do a lot more reading about the Weimar Republic. May I direct part of your reading to the Spartacist Uprising, and the means of resolution? #19 LC Gladiator Due to events, I am not able to add to the first weekend box office. It has already taken the weekend as #1. From… Read more »