More Unicorn Farts From President Food Stamp

Now that we feel a bit better (nothing like an F-5 hyperbole-laced full-on frustration rant to get your blood pressure down again) we note (via Cold Fury) that President No Gas has yet another pie in the sky alternative to fuel that we’re sure will soon see multi-billion dollar subsidies (as long as the recipients donated heavily to the NSDWP, of course) that will then disappear into thin air.


President Obama admitted today that he does not have a “silver bullet” solution for skyrocketing gas prices,

But the rest of us, at least those of us with a functional brain, do: It’s called “November 2012.”

but he proposed alternative energy sources such as “a plant-like substance, algae” as a way of cutting dependence on oil by 17 percent.

“We’re making new investments in the development of gasoline, diesel, and jet fuel that’s actually made from a plant-like substance, algae — you’ve got a bunch of algae out here,” Obama said at the University of Miami today.

And we’ve got an even bigger “bunch” of oil and gas out there just waiting to be drilled, and only waiting because you’re holding up progress, you ghetto trash scumbag. The difference between your algae and the oil and gas already there? The latter are actually proven sources of fuel available right fucking now, as opposed to your Magic Bean Fuel™ which may or may not become commercially viable in the next umpty-nine decades.

“Never worry, comrades! The wonderful world of Utopia of Next Tuesday™ (thanks, People’s Cube) is just around the corner!”

Oh yes. Whatever. Just one more five year plan and all will be well as True Socialism™ finally arrives! In the meantime, paycheck to paycheck-living people of America, you’re on your fucking own. Just suck it up and smile, knowing that Ear Leader Chocolate Jesus has a Plan™.

Oh, and as an aside: Nobody in the mainstream Marxist media is making any noise about President Five-Year-Old’s numerous fantasy fuel schemes, yet we’re all supposed to roll our eyes and laugh at Newt “Moon Base” Gingrich? Really? At least Newt is talking about technology that currently fucking exists!

“We’re not going to transition out of oil anytime soon,” Obama added, before touting the record high domestic gas production right now and the agreement with Mexico to drill in the Gulf of Mexico, while still calling for expanded investment in alternative energy.

So let’s see if we got that right: We’re financing, with U.S. taxpayer funds, assistance to Mexico so they can drill for the resources that our own companies aren’t allowed to drill for? So we can then buy the oil from them that we helped pay for already? And that ignorant fuckweasel cuntmuffin buttskate is bragging about that?

We submit that it is no longer a question of whether his racist “typical white person” grandma accidentally dropped him on his head when he was still small enough to be flushed out the toilet with his sibling turds. We only regret that she didn’t drop him hard enough. Like, say, from 50 stories up. Onto concrete. Preferably a highway. With heavy, mostly 18-wheeler traffic. And perhaps a steam roller or two thrown in for good measure.

Jumping Jehosaphat on a nuclear-powered Pogo stick is this nation ever farked!



  1. 1
    sleeper growls and barks:

    Algae. Al G. Same old global warming green energy BS.

    How about we just render Al and go the old whale oil route. After he dies of natural causes, of course.

  2. 2
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I work in the energy sector, at least until I get layed off. (Original company bought by bigger company)
    The energy sector has something called Demand/Response which tries to shift available power around. The problem is, eventually you run out of energy you can shift and need to build new power plants.

    The Algae fuel? That does have a lot of potential, but at the moment it’s still in the lab. I’ve heard that the oil companies are investing in this, so they do see something in it. However, it’ll be years before it’s ready for commercial use.

    Obama wants to cause a quick drop in oil prices? It’s easy.

    Announce that he’s reversing his decision on the Keystone pipeline
    Fire Ken Salazar and open up offshore oil drilling again.
    Reign in the EPA.
    Expedite the approval of new nuclear and coal fired power plants. (Three nukes were just approved.
    Resign from office.

    Not one of these suggestions will happen. Obama is dedicated to the destruction of the United States and detests everything it stands for.

  3. 3
    Bones growls and barks:

    Did you forget about his wonderful act down in Brazil immediately after he shut down drilling in the Gulf because where they were going to drill it was “too deep and dangerous”? He loaned brazil’s national oil company a shit-ton of money so they could drill even deeper with the same technology that he refuses to allow us to use, and then bragged that we looked forward to and would buy the oil from them. Oh wait, Soros had an almost 1 Billion dollar investment with them. HMMM, who might have an “interest” in Mexico’s oil company…..

  4. 4
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    Soros for sure has his hand up Obama’s ass, making his mouth move in synchronization to the words appearing on The First Teleprompter.

    Why the fuck doesn’t the house of representin’ impeach this asshole? Sure, the senate would never convict, but we’d get his treasonous activities out in the open.

  5. 5
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    Golly gee Elmer, I’m fucking astounded that The Kenyan Klingon Fucker didn’t think this one up. It’s shovel ready and the technology exists right now:

    Minister praises plan to heat swimming pool from fires of crematorium

    The money shot:

    He added that he would “die a happier man” if he knew heat from his cremation was warming the waters of a local pool.

    And we all Soylent Green was a movie…

    More ammo…more weapons…more PT…more training

  6. 6
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    And we all thought Soylent Green was a movie…

    Beuller, can we please have the EDIT button back for us knuckle draggers????

  7. 7
  8. 8
    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing growls and barks:

    I don’t know what you guys are complaining about, I heat my home, produce my own electricity and fuel my cars and truck with hopes and dreams.


    Sorry I am just so sick of all this bullshit, lying, bussiness killing utopia fucking talk. making smartass comments keeps me from snapping some stupid Obamadroid supporters fucking neck. And even in my little slice of Heaven we have these blind followers who knows SCFOAMF can do no wrong, no matter what, he could probably come here , fuck their wife, kick a baby and shoot their dog, and somehow it will be the Republicans fault of Bush or maybe Buchanan.

  9. 9
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I just saw a cartoon by Michael Ramirez that explains just how Electric cars really work.
    I posted it to my site a little while ago.

  10. 10
    Bones growls and barks:

    Solution to energy problem: LFTR’s (Liqued Floride Thorium Reactors), using excess heat from cycle to produce electricity and then to produce gas/diesel from coal (Fisher-Trope cycle). LFTR’s are old technology (from the 60s) and F-T cycle was what kept the germans fighting long after we shut off all access to oil for them. It works when allowed to, therefore fire all EPA workers, revoke every rule they ever thought up,and let the State’s handle it like it always should have been. (OK, go ahead and unload on me for killing a useless organ of guberment, waah, dirty air, arsenic in our childrens drinking water, rivers catching fire, etc.) :em08:

  11. 11
    LC Xealot growls and barks:

    Deej, I get your argument about government — I really do. You see government as protecting the Common property, protecting us against usurious behavior from corporations, protecting minorities and “underprivileged” from harm and, of course, providing a safety net to help people.

    No one here argues with your intentions. You are principled liberal, maybe even a Centrist in some ways.

    However — we disagree with the effectiveness of these actions. I don’t argue that people are not poor — of course we have poor people. I don’t argue that corporations can and do defraud. Obviously there are those that do. I don’t argue that some people don’t get a fair shake because of prejudice. And lastly, I know that it sucks, sometimes, without that safety net to protect me from my own bad decisions.

    The problem is: IT DOESN’T WORK

    If you cushion peoples’ falls, they soon become accustomed to the cushion. They take more risks than they ought to, or would have if they knew the risks. This is strongly apparent in things like the bank bailouts. As painful as it may have been… we should have LET the banks fail. Otherwise, we privatize profit while handing the taxpayer the risk. The same principle applies to individuals. When you fail, you should not get a government bailout. Otherwise we give you all the benefits of your poor decisions and stick the taxpayers with the bill. We encourage bad behavior.

    At one time, in America, there were Jim Crow laws and racial prejudice. Today prejudice is much more strongly correlated with culture. It just so happens that culture has racial components to it, here.

    An example is Black ghetto thugs. The prejudice against them is justified; thugs tend to be more violent and criminal. It just so happens that more black folk buy into this culture. There’s nothing wrong with being Black. There’s something wrong with behind a ghetto thug, however. It is unfortunate, because some perfectly good Black folk might get lumped in with them.

    BUT. It is the government which has at least partially created this problem. Entitlement spending as part of the Great Society had the side effect of hurting the poorest folk the most. Sure, it handed them money with which to buy food, lower cost housing, some form of medical coverage… but this took away their incentive to work. 50 years later Black folk might actually be worse off as a whole than before that period… and that is TERRIBLE to think of considering how bad Jim Crow laws were for them.

    Government tried to help, but only made it worse. Why do we then look to affirmative action for the solution?

    Prior to 1950, the Government had a program which encouraged people to kill wolves (who were thought to be a menace). People were paid bounties by the government for wolf pelts, to prove their kills. The wolves were nearly hunted into extinction in the Lower 48 states. Now, the government spends millions reintroducing wolf populations and monitoring their recovery.

    Government tried to help, but only drove a species near to extinction. Why do we trust government to protect wildlife it had once tried to exterminate?

    The housing crisis was caused by lax lending standards, because Banks wanted to make a profit in the short term, then sell off the loans to offload the risk. Who backed these toxic assets? Fannie and Freddie, along with various government organizations. The government wanted to make homes more affordable for low-income people, but it was the rich who reaped massive profits flipping and developing large properties. Then when the bill came due, the government got to foot the bill — that is to say, the taxpayer.

    Government tried to make housing more affordable… well, in a twisted sort of way they succeeded, but only by ruining the 29% of American homeowners who are now underwater, not to mention wrecking low-income people who now lost these homes.

    The problem is simple, Deej. The government isn’t omnipotent. I don’t say that Government necessarily intended for these things to happen (though, I don’t rule out that possibility either). I argue that government failed to understand the law of unintended consequences. Central planning doesn’t have all the information, all the facts, to make decisions like these by fiat. Legislating poverty away, precisely what Lyndon Johnson had in mind, changed nothing. The number of poor remains relatively similar to the numbers of 1960. Although it did have the effect of leaving some of the minorities in that poor pool. Previous American experience had immigrant minorities move into the country poor and broke (Irish, Italians, Chinese, etc…)… but then adapt to the ways of America, and within a few generations, be as wealthy as any other. Sometimes this is still possible, Cubans seem to have adapted well as a people. But most others have not. Government told them that they don’t have to.

    So for every problem Government eliminates, it creates a new one, maybe several new ones. It doesn’t have the information necessary to rule by fiat — no one does, with the exception of God, if you believe in such things.

    Individuals in the Free Market don’t have this information either, but it doesn’t NEED it in the same manner. The difference is, if your business has sufficiently negative side effects, it will FAIL if left to its own devices. BP is an example of this, when that oil spill hit, BP got slammed with government fines and the cleanup bill… but it was also sued by affected businesses, individuals and in addition to that, I saw people going out of their way to deliberately avoid buying BP gasoline. The company survived — but I hope it learned something from that stupidity. When Ford Pintos had a manufacturing defect that increased the risk of explosion in the event of an accident…. it was on the newspapers right away. Pintos stopped selling. Ford had to correct the problem, pay out money, and endure years of shitty sales.


    Because we have options. If I don’t want to buy BP gasoline, I can buy Shell gasoline, or Chevron, or some rinky-dink shit gas station down the road. If I don’t want to buy a Ford, I can buy a Honda, or a Kia, or whatever. If I don’t want Government… too fucking bad. There are no alternatives.

    Thus the Free Market, spoken of collectively, has far more information at its beckon call. It isn’t some mystical invisible hand (even it Adam Smith described it as such). It is simply the collective needs and desires of a population left mostly to its own devices.

    For awhile, Congress had a single-digit approval rating. And who votes for politicians based on “the best one?” Very few. We tend to vote the “least terrible.”

    Government leaves us with no choice. Government leaves us in the hands of people who make mandates, rather than providing choices. And they are no better than you or I at predicting the future outcomes of their actions. It’s like a bulldozer driven by committee, because no one knows how to drive it properly. Sometimes, maybe they get something right by accident. But more often, they are going to cause more harm than good.

    We still need the bulldozer, from time to time, in certain things. There are simply no Free Market alternatives to things like the Military and the Judiciary. But where a Free Market alternative exists, we should err on the side of that.

  12. 12
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    LC Light29ID says:

    And we all thought Soylent Green was a movie…
    Beuller, can we please have the EDIT button back for us knuckle draggers????

    Christ, AGAIN with the edit button…


  13. 13
    0007 growls and barks:

    Not wanting to put PAID to that lying nitwh, but the US Navy just bought some of that “organic” turbine fuel and it turns out to cost FOUR times as much as the same thing in a petrolium based product. And they STILL had to mix it 50/50 with petrol to get it to work.
    So if the scum-sucking commie gets his way, we can all look forward to $16.00/gallon gas.
    When it gets to that, I’m thinkin’ the better use for it will be in filling empty bottlles and stuffing a rag in the neck…

  14. 14
    The Watcher growls and barks:

    And if they start using algae for fuel, what will we eat once they’ve outlawed livestock and we’re burning corn-squeezins in our gas tanks?

  15. 15
    The Watcher growls and barks:

    Additionally, if we start using algae-based fuels, I wonder if we’re going to have to Shock our fuel tanks like we have to Shock our swimming pools.

  16. 16
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    While I have no problem with nuclear power, I would hold off on building fission plants. Fusion power plants may be right around the corner, we will know later this year. If the latest test, now ongoing, works out fusion plants will give higher output in less space and be simpler and faster to build.

  17. 17
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Fusion power has been around the corner for about 50 years. We can’t count on it. Fission plants being built today are very different than the ones we were building 30 years ago.

    In fact, the plants in Japan that were taken out by the quake and tsunami were due for retirement and replacement with newer and generally far superior designs.

  18. 18
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    I’ll run that shit when obama has air force one running on one hundred percent bio with no backup.

  19. 19
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:


    I could produce more biofuel with a plate of deviled eggs and a six pack of Genny Cream Ale.

  20. 20
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    Pussy! :em04: A bowlful of Chili con Carne y Frijoles will produce more noxious and explosive gasses than your wimpy deviled eggs. Add some Tecate or Dos Equis Amber and you have Rotty heaven and Watermelon hell. Never had Genny Cream Ale. Sounds good though. :em01:

  21. 21
    LC CiSSnarl5.7 Chariot Builder growls and barks:

    First of all, we are already producing four times the amount of oil right now than we have been for the eight years prior. To be fair, that production is something that Bush got going,


    I keep hearing the mantra about “it’s a global commodity, there’s nothing we can do”…and if you look at it, it’s a red herring that relies on people not understanding “it’s a global commodity” meme.

    4 X increase in the amount of oil is being produced…and sold on the world markets, how much is that exactly?
    5, 10 15, Million Barrels ?

    Wanna bet that if the EPA quit strangling the end product production of this resource, prices HERE would fall??
    What if that oil was earmarked for US consumption only?

    sORRY, BUT SIMPLY PUT…I really don’t give a rats ass what gas cost in the warrens of the EU, or In China or any other place on the globe, this is a huge problem here, solve that problem here…sometimes you just cannot keep being the nice guy on the world stage, and we’ve reached that point.

    Fact: There is NO more refining capacity here in America, non planned, none being built, nada zip zilch.

    Outcome: Pain at the pump.

    There also has been an 11% DECREASE in the approval of new permits for domestic drilling. The current admin is taking credit for that 4% increase, as it were their own, what they are NOT saying however is that the production increases planned under Bush have not and will not reach the full capacity of what was proposed. They stopped it cold, this so called “production increase”, in nothing more than another red herring tossed out by this admin.

    What happens if we went along the lines of…. take that 4Xs production and tell the rest of the freaking world to go pound sand, Build the refineries we need right here, divert that 4X production into those refineries and start making product destined only for the US Market?

    Don’t tell me it can’t be done, it can, if only the boondoggle in DC would get the hell out of the way, the EPA and environmental lobby is killing this country with this crap. I want clean air and clean water just like any tree hugging hippy does, but there has got to be a little common sense used here too. This whole “move to a green economy” notion is great, but I think we can safely’s not working for us, it simply isn’t.

    It’s nothing but a few sessions of the legislature and some papers, make it a god damn executive order if need be since the Big O seems so fond of those….Allow for another 4X increase in production with the stipulations said increases are reserved for use directly into the US Market ONLY, it doesn’t get sold on world markets, it doesn’t get sent to China or wherever.

    In a Big world picture…. our 4X increases in production means just what we got…nothing. Nothing but soaring gas and energy prices here at home in an economy that cannot afford it, so remove that production from the world markets, and keep it here….it will drive prices here down and more than likely ….barely register as a blip on the rest of the worlds oil markets. The economy will strengthen, people won’t be getting raped at the pump, and it’s pretty much a win-win all around, unless of course you are an enviro-nazi, then I see bouts of hysteria and night sweats in your future…

  22. 22
    LC Xealot growls and barks:

    It’s simple: This is about “them” and “us.” The politically wealthy don’t want the middle class getting uppity. We should be broke and on food stamps like everyone else. And why should we be allowed to drive cars? It’s all about the political class wanting to make sure they can feel superior by relegating everyone else to the stone age.

    No energy for you! No cars. No electricity. No running water. Stay in your flea-bitten cesspit and grovel in your mud huts while Beltway Politicians live a life of luxury, with a harem of girls (or men — whatever floats their boats), fancy cars, wines and other bullshit.

    This story is as old as time. The only thing that surprises me is a good many middle class folks voting for their own enslavement. Now that’s just dumb.