Christ, Do We REALLY Have to Give History Lessons Now?

It would appear so.

Listen, His Majesty is perfectly fine with having to fight back and prove that every liberal talking point out there is a flat out lie. It’s what we expect from them and, besides, proving them wrong is so damn easy. Not to mention enjoyable. Particularly when their heads start exploding.

But it does get a little tiresome when we have to take valuable time away from liberal-bashing to defend conservatives against attacks from their own side (at least as far as party label goes. Whether they’re really on the same side politically is very much up for debate), as is the case with MittensCoulterObamneyCareRINOstablishmentHotGas’s attacks on Newt Gingrich.

Listen, you MittensBots, there are plenty of things to legitimately attack Mr. Gingrich on, if you’re having trouble coming up with some due to your sub-nematode intellects and failing memories, we’ll be happy to help you out with our personal list that we’ve been gathering over the years, so could you please cut out the B.S. attacks based entirely on flatulence from the Community-Based Reality?

Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts. That ought to be enough, unless you MittensClones really want to give us yet another way to illustrate how you resemble the DNCMedia more and more in your increasingly pathetic and desperate attempts to push your Silky Pony across the finish line.

Cases in point: Gingrich was a horrible, ethically challenged crook back in the nineties. Rating? Pants on Fire. Here’s the real scoop, based on actual historical facts, as opposed to the partisan bleating and hysteria from the DNCMedia at the time who, apparently, are now considered Infallible Speakers of Truth™ by “pragmatic conservatives” rooting for Mittens ObamneyCare: Mr. Gingrich, being somebody to not take shit from anybody, more about that in example number 2 below, had no problem making enemies. Still doesn’t. Mainly because he has made it his mission in life to piss in the Establishment’s cereal. And of course his many enemies on the left but, then again, anybody who doesn’t worship Karl Marx is bound to get that. If the left doesn’t hate you, then you’re not a conservative in any shape, form or fashion.

Enter Gingrich, who just, we’re back in the last half of the nineties here, spearheaded wresting control of Congress from the NSDWP for the first time in decades. The liberal fascists were not happy about that. Then enter the original source of the ethics case that the MittBots are using now to attack him, an alcoholic ex-actor who used to play Cooter on Dukes of Hazard who was upset that Gingrich had taken his Congressional seat away from him. Yes, that’s the kind of person that Mittens McCoulterCareHotGas are basing their entire “case” on. A “case” that came down to Gingrich teaching a course paid for by a tax-exempt organization, a course that, according to the unimpeachable testimony of Cooter of Dukes of Hazard fame and glory, was partisan and therefore couldn’t be subsidized by a tax-exempt organization.

The liberal fascists in Congress as well as their wholly owned subsidiaries in the DNCMedia ran like the wind with it. Unexpectedly. Yes, that was sarcasm. Of course, all of the RINOcracy wimps whom Gingrich had offended in the past by exposing them as Establishment Play Along to Get Along stooges of the DNC didn’t exactly have a problem with their nemesis getting caught in the crossfire, so they ran with it too. Much like the TWANLOC RINOs of today who are trying to get that dead horse up for a second lap. After years of trying to fight his ship from both sides, Gingrich finally had enough of the bull, who needs having to fight your allegedly own party as well as your enemies?, threw his hands up and left. Can’t blame him. And if any of you are seeing some similarities to the more recent situation of a certain lady from Alaska who is being called a “quitter” for having had enough of being stabbed in the back, then you are paying attention.

You’re waiting for the punch line, aren’t you? Well here it is: The IRS couldn’t just stop their investigation into this alleged case of tax fraud, of course, so they went on to digging up every detail they could find, turning every stone over, and if you’ve ever found yourself under the IRS’s microscope, then you know the kind of diligence they can show when they smell a chance of putting somebody on the hook for extra payments into the DC slush fund. If only the GOP would show the same kind of diligence in vetting the candidates they try to foist on us every election, but we digress.

The conclusion of the Clinton IRS after having done all they could to find some wrongdoing? There WAS no wrongdoing, none whatsoever. No, they didn’t say “we don’t have enough of a case”, they openly stated that there wasn’t a case to begin with. Nothing, none, zip, nada. The years of shrieking from the Witch Hunter Generals of the DNC, the DNCMedia and the RINOcracy were all based on, wait for it, absolutely nothing.

Except for the testimony of an alkie Democrat with a B-actor past, that is.

Obviously, this exoneration was not reported in the DNCMedia at all. They had their scalp, and so did the RINOcracy, so who gives a shit? Other than people interested in facts, that is.

Obviously, you don’t have to take the word of the Clinton IRS for this, even though it’s hard to think of anybody with more motive for coming up with a guilty verdict for a conservative, so why don’t you go read the testimony of somebody who was there? Seriously, go read it all. It fills in all of the dirty details of the witch hunt and you’ll walk away a more knowledgeable individual.

OK, that’s Mittens McObamaClone’s first attack. Now he’s rolling out the “Reagan hated Newt and Newt didn’t think much of Reagan either” attack which, we have to admit, is kind of funny coming from a candidate who spent his entire political career in the mid-nineties emphatically emphasizing, over and over again, how he was most definitely NOT a Reagan Conservative. But, then again, he had a campaign to run and, as he said when he talked to the gardening company hiring illegals to work for him: “I can’t have illegals! I’m running for president, for Pete’s sake!”

Again: This is utter and complete bullshit. This time, we can’t just summarize the salient points, you’re going to have to read it yourself but, again, the testimony that you’ll hopefully find the time to read comes not from a Mittens operative, but from somebody who was actually there during the Reagan years. On the inside. With the Gipper. Watching a relative nobody named Gingrich immediately enter the Reagan Revolution’s A Team.

Which is pretty impressive, considering that he was barely dry behind the ears as a Congressman in a Congress filled with old veteran GOP players who had been in Congress for decades when he was a freshman. Attack dog and member of the starting lineup for Ronald Reagan’s team? Not bad, if you ask us, particularly when you compare it to a spineless, perfectly coiffed fuck from Massachusetts who spent those years distancing himself from the Gipper any way he could to get a sinecure job as a career politician. Oh, and who lost, by the way. Repeatedly. Because not even liberal Taxachusettsians are dumb enough to not spot a phony when they see one. You have to be a member of the Hot Gas staff to be that retarded.

We find it particularly amusing, having read the article that you should, nay MUST read if you want the actual facts as opposed to the talking points from the Mittens campaign and the DNCMedia (but we repeat ourself), that one of the salient points in their attack on Gingrich’s “non-Reagan-ness” is one line of the Gipper’s memoirs mentioning how Newt’s opposition to taxes could hurt our arms race with the Soviet Union. Why is that funny? It’s funny because Newt, as a young attack dog, was pissing the RINOcracy off something fierce by refusing to let the Establishment take the necessity of U.S. superiority, militarily, out of the party platform. Pissed Bob Dole (you may have heard of that loser) clean off. Of course, he was already pissed off at Newt for sabotaging his (Dole’s) attempts to keep tax increases as a possibility in the GOP platform.

If you ask us, he pissed all of the right people off. And apparently the Gipper agreed, since he kept him on his team of attack dogs.

Now compare all of this to Mittens ObamneyCare, whose sole accomplishments for conservatism are… Sorry, could you help an Imperial Brother out here, because we got nuttin’.

No, Gingrich is NOT the candidate that we were wanting. Did he show questionable morals in his marriages? Did he fuck up on Pelosi’s couch? Did his “right-wing social engineering” comment piss us clean off? Yes, yes and yes, and those are only a few of the legitimate points you can bring up against him. We will defend NONE of them because, in order to do so, we would have to twist ourself into the same Gordian knots of intellectual dishonesty that the Hot Gas ObamneyBots currently find themselves in, trying to paint Mittens as a Paragon of Conservatism™ when he has done not a single thing in his entire useless existence to prove it. He’s an opportunist career politician who will say anything to get elected (and who, by the way, sucks at it since he tends to lose every race he runs in), a store front mannequin with about as much integrity as Billy Jeff Blow Job, and we may have to apologize to Billy Jeff for that comparison, so don’t piss down our Imperial Back and tell us that it’s raining. He’s a one-man disaster zone, the Epitome of Phony, a clown who makes used car salesmen look like saints and a back-stabbing traitor to boot.

At least Gingrich has a two decades long history of actually accomplishing something for conservatism. Yes, he’s fucked up in his statements numerous times, but he’s never been afraid to admit that he did so. He’s also never been afraid to enter a fight, go against the grain and piss off the ones that needed to be pissed off.

But, bottom line: If you don’t like him, and there are plenty of good reasons to not like him, we respect that. We’re probably in agreement on about 99% of the cases.

But could we stick to the damn facts here, please?

To put it another way, a rule of thumb that has served us well over the years: If you ever, EVER find yourself on the same side as the DNCMedia’s talking points, you need to really, really start wondering if you forgot to take your brain out of the night stand drawer this morning when you woke up.



  1. 1
    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology growls and barks:

    Does His Imperialness have any theories as to why Coulter is evidently shilling for Romney?

  2. 2
    LC Jackboot IC/A growls and barks:

    Boss- You been reading my notes? Either that or we have another example of parallel thinking.

    There is NO level that the Obamney zombies won’t stoop to get their boy into the finals.

    I’m an increasingly sickened by the fucking attacks from both of them using free market capitalism as the evil, nasty, foe of all. This from alleged conservatives? rLLy? We all know politics are down and dirty, shit-flinging but using a bedrock conservative belief (in free-market capitalism) is over the top. Clue: If you’re using the same demagoguery as the OWS crowd AND Ogabelini, you might not be quite that conservative.

    I’m backing Newt, warts and all right through the general, unless the L-rd himself throws his hat in, and I suspect he has indirectly.

    I must admit I am beyond sick at this seemingly endless circular-firing-squad circus of this primary season. I’m getting hammered by a independent-left-leaning co-worker as how the republicans are handing it to Teh Zero™ with this internecine warfare. I just don’t see how this all will be interpreted by the Fiddy-Two’rs, but I’m damned worried. They are still there and entirely capable of suckling Zero’s balls once again.

    Our beloved republic cannot stand another 4-years of these socialists running wild. Give the bastard the election and he’ll be running the show entirely by executive decision fiat, or hell, even congress could turn over the reigns of power to him. I can foresee that some on the left might see this as an opportunity to carry on their evil designs without worrying about pissing off the electorate.

  3. 3
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology @ #:

    Does His Imperialness have any theories as to why Coulter is evidently shilling for Romney?

    I am wondering the same thing. First Gov. Christy who also has deep RINO tendencies and no Mittens. When did she climb into the fridge?

    Or has she been replaced by an evil Peggy Noonan like pod person?

  4. 4
    LC&IB Vulcanrider, MSgt, USAF, Ret growls and barks:

    And what about Drudge? Almost all of his links today were anti-Newt. And most of them covered the exact point that set the Emperor off… :em03:

  5. 5
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology says:

    Does His Imperialness have any theories as to why Coulter is evidently shilling for Romney?

    Not a one. I’m as mystified as the rest of y’all on that one. The only theory I’ve heard of, and it wasn’t even mine, is that she’s still pissed off that Newt failed to get Billy Jeff impeached and that she sees it as somehow his fault. Although that doesn’t explain why she’s rooting for a fuck who didn’t even try to get that result.

    I’m scratching my head on that one myself. There is no way it makes sense.

    LC&IB Vulcanrider, MSgt, USAF, Ret says:

    And what about Drudge? Almost all of his links today were anti-Newt. And most of them covered the exact point that set the Emperor off…

    Very true. Mattie McRomneyDrudge is as bad as the worst of them, but at least in his case we know that it’s because he’s got a man crush on one of Mittens’ advisors, and obviously poor Matt just can’t quit him. There’s a gaping, yearning desire in Matt’s sphincter that just cannot be filled by anybody except for Mr. Rhoades.

  6. 6
    Library Czar growls and barks:

    Does His Imperialness have any theories as to why Coulter is evidently shilling Fluffing for Romney?

    Fixed it for ya.

  7. 7
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    Oh brother.

    Now the Mittens Posse and the RINOs are trotting out Bob Dole to extol the evils of that loose cannon, Newt Gingrich.

    This is getting friggin’ ridiculous. 🙄

    Give me a break. Bob Dole is a RINO to end all RINOS.

  8. 8
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    Here’s the link:

    Dole assails Gingrich in Plea to Conservatives

  9. 9
    LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An growls and barks:

    An explanation of Ann Coulter’s turn to the dark side may be what I have heard [with some confirmation during an interview on Sean Hannity last July] that she is now …. involved … with Bill Maher. She has, I believe, referred to Liberalism as a disease. It would seem that she has been exposed and infected.

    As far as Dole, attacking Gingrich; you are known in part by the quality [or lack thereof] of your enemies.

    LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An

  10. 10
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    It’s obvious – if Newt does manage to become prez, too many of Coulter’s buds will be sent down the road, leaving her to scramble for new material. She and her kind simply don’t care what gets into the White House as long as they can sell books.

    I don’t care for the little weasel myself but many of the RINOs are building pressure in their heads – I WANT them to explode!

    Exploding heads – love the thought, Misha.

  11. 11
    LC TerribleTroy growls and barks:

    . Now I have to deal with blatant lies and manipulation from our supposed “own”? Fuck it……just fuck it! Buy more ammo and get ready. Cause the shit really needs to hit the fan. There is a reason we targeted certain “journalists” and “priests” in central america…..BECAUSE IT WORKED! The fucking Socialists and their collaborators need to go, they aren’t going to stop until the risk outweighs the return.

  12. 12
    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing growls and barks:

    LC TerribleTroy says:

    Buy more ammo and get ready

    What the fuck you think us (flat ground, corn and soybean fields) Hilljacks been doin?

    I all ready said I am writing in Fred Thompson, and sittin back, keeping my powder dry and my bang sticks true, waiting for the fun to begin.

    I am done with all of these Clownshoes :em08:

  13. 13
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    Once again the Republication Establishment, with the help of the Obongo propaganda machine (congrats Herr Goebbels your lessons have been well learned by our enemies) are forming the circular firing squad with conservatives in the middle.

  14. 14
    readerjp growls and barks:

    I CAN’T buy guns and ammo; it’s illegal where I live to even own a gun.

    I agree with you, Emperor, but what about Newt’s working for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac?

  15. 15
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    readerjp says:

    I agree with you, Emperor, but what about Newt’s working for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac?

    Not happy about it, not happy at all and that is one example of the perfectly legitimate attacks on him. I will say, though, that what he exactly did for them other than take their money isn’t all that clear to me yet. I know that it wasn’t “lobbying” because it doesn’t even come close to meeting the definition of that, but whether he was just trying to skim a few bucks off a scam or actually trying to right them from the inside I don’t know, and I’m not going to come down firmly on either since I don’t know.

    I’ve consulted for arseholes myself in the past, so I know that consulting doesn’t necessarily mean “support”. You’re hired to do a job, not necessarily to produce the answer that the guys who contract with you want. If you’re an honest guy, you’ll tell them the truth no matter what, if you’re not… I don’t know which side he falls on and I’m not going to speculate.

    But it doesn’t look good on the surface of it, which is why it’s a very legitimate question to ask.

    On the other hand, we don’t have a Perfect Candidate in this race, so we have to ask ourselves this: Which one is the least horrible and, on top of that, does the least horrible one have anything that we just cannot, in good conscience, live with, even if it means one of his opponents winning?

    The last bit is important too. There ARE things that you should never compromise on because it will hurt you more than it will benefit you as you have to learn to live with it. So the question is: Is Newt’s alleged impropriety with Fannie Mae enough of an issue to me that I can’t live with myself if I ascribe it to “everybody fucks up sometimes?” It’s hard to answer since I don’t know the true extent of his screwup but, faced with the MittBot alternative who has proven to me that he’s against me on one of my “die on a hill” issues, I have to side with him on that one. Not because I like it, because I don’t, but because I simply don’t know enough of the actual facts to know if he really, truly went across the line there.

  16. 16
    LC TerribleTroy growls and barks:

    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing says:

    What the fuck you think us (flat ground, corn and soybean fields) Hilljacks been doin?

    How the fuck would I have any clue as to what the fuck you’ve been or not been doing? It was friendly advice and nothing more. I will also remind you that I happen to be a flat ground, corn & soybean field resident. My apologies if I misread your tone. I am not a morning person, If I didn’t misread your tone, them I respectfully suggest you save it for the enemy. I got no beef with you.

  17. 17
    Mark12A growls and barks:

    I live in northern Alabama, and have a backhoe and a .308 rifle, and know how to use them both. One hopes our county sheriff will get on board with the oathkeeper’s thing, but I’ve got clear fields of fire.

    As far as Newt and Fannie Mae go, if they offered me money to do a legaland ethical job I’d do the job and take the money. That’s pretty much capitalism in it’s rawest form.

    As far as Mitt’s taxes go, if he paid the legal amount, then perhaps the dems should STFU. I mean the rates are established by law, and interest income is taxed at 15%. If you get income from muni’s then your tax rate may be zero. I think it would be dumb to propose to tax investment income as ordinary income, so that’s what congress will probably propose next…unless they’re getting most of their income from investments. Enhanced by a little insider trading, of course, and taking bribes. I mean political contributions and speaker’s honoraria.

    I ramble. Need coffee.

  18. 18
    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing growls and barks:

    LC TerribleTroy says:

    My apologies if I misread your tone. I am not a morning person, If I didn’t misread your tone, them I respectfully suggest you save it for the enemy. I got no beef with you.

    Yeah, you did misread my tone, but no need to say you are sorry, I should have made myself clear