Glowbull Wormening Does it Again! (UPDATED)

Plus, Paul “Enron Advisor” Krugman proves, once more, that he’s a blathering idiot with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Unless providing people with an IQ above that of boiled leeks with an endless source of hysterical laughter counts which, we suppose, it might.

Actually, we’re not entirely fair here. When he claims that Glowbull Wormening caused rising food prices (and therefore directly caused the Egyptian Clusterfuck also known as “Iran, the Sequel”), he’s actually half right. But not in the way that he thinks he is.

So what’s behind the price spike?

…

But the evidence tells a different, much more ominous story. While several factors have contributed to soaring food prices, what really stands out is the extent to which severe weather events have disrupted agricultural production. And these severe weather events are exactly the kind of thing we’d expect to see as rising concentrations of greenhouse gases change our climate — which means that the current food price surge may be just the beginning.

Because, as every follower of the Cult of the Hockey Stick knows, we never had severe weather events in the past, which is why food prices have been rock solid since the days of the woolly mammoth.

Until we started driving SUVs, that is.

Do adverse weather events have an influence on prices? Of course they do. Among other things. They cause increased scarcity, and increased scarcity causes price increases. That’s basic. That the Moonfaced Marmoset Krugman is able to grasp it should tell you just what level of “basic” we’re talking here.

Are they caused by Glowbull Wormening? Everything is, haven’t you heard? Right down to your coffee-maker taking too long to get done in the morning. OK, we’ll dispense with the claims of imbeciles and stick with sentient lifeforms. The jury is out for lack of conclusive evidence.

So where is the dumbest “expert” at the New York Retirement Home for Talentless, Under-endowed-in-the-cerebral-department Twats “half right”, we hear you ask?

In his claim that Glowbull Wormening, or more accurately, the ignorant cult of Glowbull Wormening is to blame for it, that’s where.

That Neo-Luddite assembly of Lack-witted Lamebrains and the even dumber politicians on both sides of the aisle can count among their accomplishments such “successes” as:

1) Ethanol fuels which, in an effort to “counter” an unconfirmed “threat” with methods that have not yet been proven to have an effect (other than to give Cornpone Gingrich an opportunity to suck Iowan Voter Cock, which made his boyfriend Blarney Fwank insanely jealous, we might add), have cut the supply of food down significantly. While consuming vast amounts of fossil fuels in order to produce an inefficient, over-priced “alternative fuel” that, as a bonus, will destroy your car’s engine as well.

But the farmers get a lot of your money in subsidies to produce this wasteful, useless product and they get their longing bungholes impaled on a regular basis by DC politicians, which is a welcome change from their normal, bland diet of “animal husbandry”, so it’s all good. All the while NOT saving a single drop or ounce of fossil fuels, which was the whole, bird-brained idea to begin with.

But the actual issue here vis-a-vis food prices is that while they’re wasting valuable farmland to please their sugar daddies in DC, food is not being produced on those acres. Which leads to increased scarcity, which leads to… You’re smart, you can take it from here. It has to do with prices on the goods they’re not producing anymore. That last bit was for the benefit of Cluck-cluck-man of the NYT. We hate to see numbskulls suffer. Well no. We don’t. But we’re trying to work with the New Civility™ here.

The thing is, while Newt Gingrich is poking the prostates of love-sick, lonely Iowan farmers, the rest of the world is taking it up the Khyber Pass as well.

All thanks to the Cult of Glowbull Wormening.

2) Energy production. Like it or not, producing stuff takes energy and that energy has to come from somewhere. But, thanks to the Cult of Glowbull Wormening, any attempts to actually make any energy in a viable, cost-efficient manner that doesn’t involve spending trillions of your tax dollars on hunting unicorns and trying to tickle coulombs out of their keisters are being blocked because it might produce plant food which, according to the Algore and his Amateur Academicians™, is suddenly the single most scary threat to The World As We Know It™.

Trees and other plants couldn’t be reached for comment because they had other, more intellectual pursuits taking up their time.

Coal isn’t dug at a time when the weather demonstrably caused a shortage due to the catastrophic events in Australia, oil can’t be drilled for because the Ogabe Regime won’t respect the Law of the Land and nuclear energy which, by the way, doesn’t produce scary plant food, is RIGHT out because, well, it’s icky. Because, Jane Fonda. China Syndrome!

It’s not the first time national security and policy has been determined by celluloid clusterfucks whose only encounter with academia was when they were fired from janitorial positions at their local community college for refusing to stop drinking from the urinals. See: Brockovich, Erin, or “how a cunt so dumb she couldn’t land a job as a pole dancer because the intelligence of the pole intimidated her became a millionaire and celebrity.” But it is one of the classics.

You’re pretty low on the ladder of intellectual evolution when you, as a nation, are behind the french.

All of this and more of course leads to increased scarcity of energy which, in turn, are you still with us, Cluckman?, leads to increased prices of said energy. Which, given that energy is needed to both produce and transport foodstuffs, leads to…

Would somebody please go kick that moron Cluckface in the nuts because our Imperial Foot is getting tired?

All thanks to the Cult of Glowball Wormening™.

So, you see, Cluckman was half right.

Now, if you could get liberals to see how he was right, but your chances of successfully breeding fruit flies until they’re intelligent enough to launch a Mars Mission are much higher, so you might want to spend your efforts elsewhere.

Thatisall.

UPDATE: LC Erbo points out the influence of The Ben Bernank, quite possibly the single most retarded Chairman of the Federal Reserve in our nation’s history (and in a field that includes Greenspan, that’s quite an accomplishment), and another leftover of the glory days of the “pragmatist conservatives” that brought us the electoral and financial successes of 2000-2006.

Run Jeb, run! Or Mitt Romney. If for nothing else then because Allahpundit will be too busy whacking his pud to annoy us with his stupidity. Get a fucking room already!