We give you Al Gore, high priest of the Cult of Wormening. And you can keep him. Please.

It’s not that we’re particularly surprised that he recently blamed record snowfalls and unprecedented cold spells on, wait for it, global warming. Him and his cult seems to trip over words and shove their feet in their yaps on an alarmingly regular basis but, then again, what would you expect from an idiot whose only noted scholarly achievement was flunking out of seminary? No, it’s the “explanation” that the big, flabby sack of adipose tissue gave for it.

He said, and we’re not making this up, that the reason for the heavy snowfall was the warmening of the atmosphere causing additional water vapor that then fell as snow.

Yes. Water vapor turns to snow because of warmening. Make a note, children. If you want to make popsicles, you just pick your favorite juice, pour it in a suitable container and heat the everloving fuck out of it. For quicker results use a blowtorch. It will freeze instantly. Hey, the Algore said so, and if one or both of your parents are fiddy2ers, there is no way in hell they’re going to gainsay their cult leader.

Note to the Algore and his retarded followers: If water vapor condenses under warm conditions, then it turns into, this will really blow your minds two remaining, rotting synapses, rain!

Yep. You heard it here first. Now go play in traffic, because your mere presence is causing IQs to drop for miles around.

Thatisall.

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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.
Guest
February 7, 2011 07:56

Rain,, who’da thunkit.

I’d figure he has a staffer who’s job is to make sure he comes in out of it.

LC Jackboot IC/A
Admin
February 7, 2011 08:10

Ohhh Kkkk- Got it !

Another group of Klueless Klowns said it was because the Arctic was so warm it pushed the cold air farther south. I suppose if that’s the case we Eeeevil Kkkkapitalists should be selling SPF 50 and beach chairs to polar bears.

LC Anniee451
LC Anniee451
Guest
February 7, 2011 08:21

I “knew” globull warming would lead to more snow but now more rain?

FUCK I gotta get a better umbrella.

LC Anniee451
LC Anniee451
Guest
February 7, 2011 08:22

By the way, the ’70s “global ice ace” seems more andmore likely I know it means warming but GD that ice age seems likely!!!!

Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Guest
February 7, 2011 09:04

In a similar vein, a few years back, some college students down in Cancun (that would be Mexico, for those of you educated in publik skuuls), circulated a petition to ban Dihydrogen Monoxide. They were amazed at the number of signatures. In response, some computer geek out of Villanova University came up with this site: Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division It’s… Read more »

Princess Natasha, Imperial Koch-monger
Princess Natasha, Imperial Koch-monger
Guest
February 7, 2011 10:07

What was ManBearPig’s major in college? I bet it wasn’t engineering. Fucking dumbass. Maybe he should enroll in Thermodynamics and Introduction to Heat Transfer classes just so he has a clue… However, I do not want to subject female engineering students to this retarded fat fuck’s leering and groping.

Tallulah
Tallulah
Guest
February 7, 2011 14:16

Gore isn’t stupid, he’s venal. A huckster and con artist. He no more believes the crap he’s peddling than he believes in Jesus Christ. How do I know? Look at his mansions and his huge carbon-dioxide “footprint” (fartprint?). BTW, clever of the Leftwads to rename carbon dioxide as “carbon.” That’s their chief skill: inverse naming. Ministry of Truth, People’s Democratic… Read more »

rumcrook
Guest
February 7, 2011 14:19

ive recently bought a wood burning stove for my workshop I run my business out of, and it burns coal too! coal is dirt cheap. I bought enough to heat the shop day and night for a month for 40 bucks im going to make a bumper sticker that says something like “I burn coal for heat, so my carbon… Read more »

LC MuscleDaddy
Guest
February 7, 2011 15:06

What bothers me is the blatant and unapologetic lack/denial of simple logic in this – consider: We are expected to stop driving, smoking, producing, barbequeing and otherwise dismantle/destroy our economy in order to ‘fix’ Global Warming. But IF… 1) Global warming causes heat 2) Global warming causes cold 3) Global warming causes draught 4) Global warming causes floods 5) Global… Read more »

LC MuscleDaddy
Guest
February 7, 2011 15:06

couple of extra 5s & 6s in there – but you ge tthe idea – MD

hitnrun
hitnrun
Guest
February 7, 2011 15:10

It’s not so much that increased snowfall could not, in theory, be attributed to Global Warming. It’s that decreased snowfall would also be contributed to Global Warming (as one Brit put it, “our children will not know what snow looks like.”), as would hotter summers, cooler summers, drier springs and wetter. Larger, more powerful hurricanes are evidence of global warming,… Read more »

LC R6
LC R6
Guest
February 7, 2011 18:10

I would ask how you would account for the snow, but I’m afraid I would get the Intelligent Design explanation.

Here, let me say this in monosyllabic fashion (that means small words) so that your festering “mind” can grasp it:

cold

air

plus

water

makes

snow.

You truly are a simpleton.

LC PrimEviL
LC PrimEviL
Guest
February 7, 2011 18:56

Response to LC MuscleDaddy @: I blame self-esteem training in schools. Personally, I blame Mexicans. Eating all those beans. Ban beans! A major source of anthropogenic methane! One other thing puzzles me. Perhaps the Mighty Algore can explain how when more water is evaporating from the oceans, and falling as snow, they claim the global sea level is rising; or… Read more »

Library Czar
Library Czar
Guest
February 7, 2011 19:39

Well since we are talking about idiots and hypocrites check out these two

Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Guest
February 7, 2011 20:20

Response to Library Czar @:
Luckily for their butts, we are Americans first, and we look after our own, regardless.

Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Guest
February 7, 2011 20:24

Response to R6 @:
Not sure there is one…you could use the word wet, maybe.

Sir Fresh Sign
Sir Fresh Sign
Member
February 7, 2011 20:38
LC LittleRott84 Imperial DJ
LC LittleRott84 Imperial DJ
Guest
February 7, 2011 23:43

Response to LC MuscleDaddy @:
My grandpa told me about it. It surprised him as much as the locals, and pretty much everyone resorted to wearing military surplus jackets because that’s all they could find.

LC Xealot
Guest
February 8, 2011 10:49

In addition to the Emperor’s astute points, I’d also like to add that Gore is not a scientist. He leans on “experts” for any sort of backup to his political hot air. Of course, I’m sure Gore would never be so biased as to interpret the data given to him in the manner that suits his political ideals, nor would… Read more »

Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Guest
February 8, 2011 11:13

Response to LC Xealot @:
Not only is he not a scientist, if memory serves, he also FAILED what science course(s) he took. I may have just a humanities degree (English, two of ’em), * :em96: misha*, but even *I* didn’t fail science. :em93:

LC Xystus
Guest
February 9, 2011 03:27

Quoth the ITW:

Gore is just the modern-day version of the delusional medicine man telling us we need to sacrifice ourselves

That’s been clear (though maybe not to him) for some time.