Is Iran Going to Close the Strait of Hormuz?

Bitch, PLEASE!

Don’t throw us into that briar patch!

First of all, the Iranian “Navy” couldn’t block a sink drain if it wanted to, mainly because it would cease to exist within the first 48 hours of getting the 5th Fleet’s undivided attention.

Second of all, if there is one thing that could get the “international community” on board with a real blockade of that abysmal pisslamic shit hole of a nation, it would be them suddenly deciding to put a choke hold on the world’s oil supplies. Forget about negotiating about “sanctions” and start thinking “taking over every single one of their ports” instead.

Third, it’s not like the Mad Mullahs don’t depend on the sea lanes being open themselves. Best of luck exporting your goods on camel back through the mountains, you tumblefucked turban-brains.

Fourth, if they think that their bluster won’t be answered by limp dick Ogabe, they ought to think again. He’s got an election coming up, and nothing would please him more than to put on his Rambo suit again and send our troops into battle to boost his ratings.

They really are terminally twitbrained, aren’t they?



  1. 1
    og growls and barks:

    “They really are terminally twitbrained, aren’t they?”

    Islam tends not to attract deep thinkers.

  2. 2
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I must disagree with your statement that Iran couldn’t block a drain, never mind the straits. They could block the straits of Hormel very easily. We sink enough of their silly little boghammers and eventually they will pile so high that the wreckage will form a barrier reef…of sorts.

  3. 3
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    og @ #:
    Islam tends not to attract deep thinkers.

    I fixed your comment for you.

  4. 4
    Orion growls and barks:

    I take a back seat to no one in my admiration for the US Navy, but you greatly underestimate the Iranian Navy’s capabilities. They have a lot of fast attack craft that can fire a lot of ASM’s – cheap, stupid little boats that we could sink by the dozen. And they have many dozens. They have mines. They have diesel submarines – very quiet and very difficult to detect in the littoral seas where they’d be operating. One of those suckers sitting on the bottom and waiting can put a dent in your whole day.

    They have shore artillery and shore based ASM’s by the hundred.

    Yes, they would be defeated. No question. At what cost? I would guess if we weren’t very, very careful, we’d lose a couple destroyers, several frigates, and unfortunately, a carrier. Especially if someone wanted to order the 5th to make a show of force crossing of the Straits. You know, someone way up at the top. Who has a history of making dumb decisions.


  5. 5
    0007 growls and barks:

    All they have to do is sink one of our carriers in the channel there and game over.

  6. 6
    LC Proud Infidel growls and barks:

    FUCKIN’ A, what would be wrong with hauling out some tactical nukes and using them? Just turn a few parts of that pisslamic fleabag hellhole into glow-in-the-dark sheets of glass and then we’ll see just how they want to act!!

  7. 7
    LC Darth Scoundrel growls and barks:

    A carrier is harder to put down than you think. We learned a lot about damage control courtesy of the Japanese way back yonder in the early 40s. Yeah, it will go down, but it won’t go down easy.
    And they tried that whole “blocking the straights” thing in 88. Didn’t work too well for them. Of course we had a guy in the Oval Office that had a sack full back then, too.

  8. 8
    Secondmouse growls and barks:

    Ahmadinnerjacket and the rest of the pedophiles on the Guardian Council know that it would take us less than one short winter day to turn Iran into 600,000 square miles of warm glass. Pretty good idea, actually. Cut down on the dust storms in the area and the glow would be an aid to navigation in the region for generations…hmmm.

    This is all being done for regional effect. Iran is working on their street cred, standing up to the bad ol’ Great Satan. They won’t go too far, or they risk damaging the illusion of power they are working so hard to create if they give us an excuse to transform a portion of their military manhood into pink mist.

    Their success at bullying the region is our failure, and now with our capitulation in Iraq and our spineless civilian leadership, will only grow worse.

    Might be good if the 5th experienced an ‘accidental engagement’ that annihilated something Iranian, just to keep those bastards guessing.

  9. 9
    LC Jackboot IC/A growls and barks:

    Orion says:

    very quiet and very difficult to detect in the littoral seas where they’d be operating.

    Don’t be discounting the focus of our counter-submarine abilities. The Virginia class attack boats are designed from the keel up to easily operate in littoral waters against the SSK diesel-electrics and the newer variants. Also, our ASW capabilities have been focused on this as well. The Navy has known for quite awhile that future conflicts might very well take place against countries with shallow water navies. While purportedly a fiction novel, Tom Clancy’s “SSN” (not the damn game) gives a LOT of insight into our capabilities for this type of conflict. The other factor that is a HUGE disadvantage for the Iranians, is their lack of an air force designed to operate in a naval support role. Our airpower capabilities would make for a wholesale slaughter of their small gunboats. The US is the world leader in stand-off weapons capabilities and we wouldn’t have to risk capital ships operating in confined waters. We could easily sit in the IO and nail those fuckers all day long. Not saying it would be a cakewalk, but definitely quite a bit less tough than you perhaps imagine.

    Just sayin….

  10. 10
    LC BOATS growls and barks:

    I don’t believe the Navy of my day (65-69) would have had much of a problem clearing the area long before approach. Even back then our navel air power was incredible. I was in an attack squadron attached to the ( Connie boat ) in 68 so I know of what I say. Flight deck duty.

  11. 11
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Orion @ #:

    Jackboot, that darling old squid, already addressed the sub issue better than I ever could and, too, the fact that there’s nothing that says we even have to get close enough for them to hit us in order for us to annihilate them.

    But… I hadn’t thought of this thing that you brought up:

    Especially if someone wanted to order the 5th to make a show of force crossing of the Straits. You know, someone way up at the top. Who has a history of making dumb decisions.

    I just made the error of leaving the Idiot Factor out of my analysis, because you’re obviously right. That’s exactly the kind of bravado-fueled bullshit order that Ogabe’s under-educated, narcissist arse might issue.

    One can only hope that the dear Navy would make a textbook example of “fucking up orders”, then.

  12. 12
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    LC Jackboot IC/A @ #10:
    I’m not an expert on submarine warfare, and I don’t play a skipper on t.v. However, being well-versed in mechanical and electrical engineering, and having read a lot and also having several “silent service” people I know, their noisy, inefficient, slow WWII-era subs are sitting ducks. Let me point out a few problems with taking up a diesel boat against a modern Navy, like the one we still have.
    1) MADs -whether you are moving or sitting still, an ASW helo will make a few passes, nail your position, then nail YOU with a depth torp. So, you can’t sit there or move either. If you sit there, we’re MAD about you. If you move, we can hear you from 300 miles away. The’ve gotta surface sometime to recharge their batteries, y’know, and those diesels broadcast noise like a rock band. Game over.

    2) All those little bitty ships out there with MANPADs or better? Remember, WE own the skies. If it moves, we shoot it until it stops moving or disappears. Remember all those lasers the Navy and Army have been playing with lately? Makes a dandy anti-ship defense. I won’t go into details.

    3) as you said, Jackboot, we can sit there all day and night long and play whack-a-Persian with our lighter stuff, while we Tomahawk the crap outta their shore facilities, and there’s not d**n-all they can do. Like you said, that’s why we have standoff weapons. And littoral ships, now.

    Shoot, just for grins and giggles break out the Missouri (currently in Pearl Harbor), and have some fun with BIG guns! Yeah, we’ll lose a few soldiers/sailors/airmen, but it will be cheap in the long run. Wish I was an RPV pilot right about now…


  13. 13
    LC hilljohnny growls and barks:

    the best way to respond would be to take off the restrictions and taxes that are choking U.S. production and approve the Canada- U.S. pipeline.

  14. 14
    Orion growls and barks:

    @All! 😀

    Too true – We’ve spent a lot of time practicing against littoral threats because they are insanely difficult. Particularly if they’re not moving, on the bottom of the ocean. ASW aircraft are vulnerable to SAM, AAA, and fighters. Hard to get a good MAD pass when you’re executing evasive maneuvers.

    The Navy could annihilate the Iranian defenses if they were given the clearance and the free-hand to do so. And if the Iranians don’t have any surprises of their own. ALWAYS factor in that the bad guys get lucky every now and again too, and sometimes have a very good plan for their own back yard. And a MUCH shorter logistical tail.

    Sanctions would remove any incentive for the Iranians NOT to block the strait – they’re not cutting off their lifeline, it’s already been cut. The same sort of thing helped push Japan to attack Pearl Harbor, if you’ll recall.

    I’ve got a lot of friends in the Navy – I may be Army, but I can bet that given Iran’s forces I could bring down a Carrier+ if they attempted to force the straits without positively annihilating anything and everything that might be threatening within about 100 miles of those waters. Aegis and the SM2/SM3 combo is a powerful system, but it can be swamped, particularly in narrow waters where you can truck in a ECM and a few hundred Silkworms and other ASM’s, launch them and leave. Ask our Gulf War pilots how easy it is to find a mobile IRBM launcher, much less a mobile ASM launcher. Mines are easy to place from speedboats, or submarines, or pre-planting on the sea floor, and a nightmare to detect. And if you’re moving slow behind your minesweepers, you’re extending your vulnerability to everything else.

    A simultaneous attack by Hundreds of fast moving small boats, hovercraft, armed drones, shore launched artillery and missiles and dozens of diesel subs plus mines and aircraft would be a very challenging tactical problem, especially with a coordinated strike on regional bases. They don’t CARE what they lose. If they lost every Soldier, Sailor, and Airman they had but could get solid video of burning US bases and even ONE sinking US ship, with a captured pilot or three, they would be seen as the victors. Hell, if they even DAMAGED a carrier, they’d call it a ‘win’. USS Stark or USS Samuel B Roberts, anyone?

    Their air assets would last about as long as the Iraqi Air Force.

    And don’t think we wouldn’t see a reprise of the Tanker War. All they need to do is cause enough instability in the route to cause oil prices to skyrocket and watch our shaky economies collapse (Thank you, again, Democrats). Which might force the USN to try that risky passage of the straits after an ’embattled President’ looking to burnish his tough-guy cred before an election orders them to enforce the freedom of the seas.

    The only advice I’d have to the 5th Fleet is: “Don’t get cocky!” Yes, they can win. But they need to win without loss – ANY loss would cause our current leadership to run like a scalded rabbit. Like the Defeatocrats always do.

    Maybe we’ll get lucky and the Israelis will execute the decapitation strike on the Iranian government I thought about…We’d be in an excellent position to help.


  15. 15
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    These ass reaming goat fuckers don’t think like the Russians did during the Cold War. They weren’t suicidal. Arminifuckerdude wants a war so he can throw missiles at Israel, fuck up the world with oil shortages and hasten the arrival of the 12th Goat Fucking Imam.

    Remember these bastards sent children running through the Iraqi minefields to clear them for the Republican Guard during the Iran-Iraq war. The channel for tankers is only four miles wide and we all saw what an Exocet will do to a ship during the Falklands. Don’t underestimate the insanity of these loony tunes. Hitler didn’t give a shit about his own people in the end and neither do they.

    And with the First Kenyon Klingon Fucker in charge they’ll be sitting around for three months with their thumbs up their asses trying to figure out what to do.

  16. 16
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    LC Light29ID says:

    These ass reaming goat fuckers don’t think like the Russians did during the Cold War. They weren’t suicidal. Arminifuckerdude wants a war so he can throw missiles at Israel, fuck up the world with oil shortages and hasten the arrival of the 12th Goat Fucking Imam.

    Exactly. That’s been my line of thinking too ever since Day One.

    Listen, let’s not fool ourselves: Ahmadinnerjacket and the Mad Mullahs want a conflict, no matter what, so it is going to happen, no matter what. There is no “let’s just wait and see and then nothing is going to happen” option.

    Our choices at this point are limited to whether the conflict is going to be at a time and place of our choosing or theirs.

    I vote for the former. If we’re going to have a fight, and we are, then we might as well pick the time and place and get inside their OODA loop.

  17. 17
    LC Xystus growls and barks:


    ANY loss would cause our current leadership to run like a scalded rabbit. Like the Defeatocrats always do.

    Then the ‘Crats can more easily be defeated. If Sir Robbin’ bravely runs away, he presumably leaves his hopes sunk somewhere near the Gulf.

  18. 18
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    I don’t think Obama would be dumb enough to order a carrier group to transit the Straight of Hormuz for the simple fact that if the Iranians did get lucky, he’d be forced into a full blown war with Iran.

    If he dithered or backed down, his reelection chances would shrink to zero and his ego wouldn’t allow that.

    He would most likely order some “expendable” frigates or destroyers for the Iranians to take potshots at if they were so inclined and if one or two were damaged or sunk, the losses would be “acceptable” and in his mind not require an overwhelming response.

    He’d most likely tell the Navy to take “appropriate” measures to keep the strait open and keep his hands off.

    That way, if something went wrong, he could blame it on the Navy and if the Iranians backed down or got smacked around, he could take full credit.

    Remember, in Obama’s mind, reelection is paramount and will override all his other inclinations.

    However, if he manages to get reelected, then all bets are off.

    Side note: To any frigate or destroyer sailors that are reading this, I’m not saying you or your ships are expendable or your loss would be acceptable, hence the sarcasm tags. I know you guys and gals comprise The Real Navy. 😀

  19. 19
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    If they do close the Straits of Hormuz, they will face no repercussions from President Pussy. The Dumbasscrats and the Europussies should be thankful that I am not CINC US. I should like very much to tell the Iranian UN ambassador that if even on missile or gun is fired at a non-Iranian flagged ship, even by “accident”, that the only think Amadinnerjacket will be president of will be a glass parking lot. And, just to make sure they know I’m not kidding or bluffing, I’d send a Spirit to drop a load of ordnance on the city of Qom.

  20. 20
    LC Proud Infidel growls and barks:

    Just think about how GOOD America had it when we were the World’s #1 oil producer and exporter, we have the resources to do it again, but the pols are too concerned about sucking up to the greenpiss potheads.

    All we have to do is tap the resources we already have, say FUCK THE EPA commies, then let the petrochemical companies expand their current refineries, and build a few more. Next thing we know, we could give Venezuela and the M.E. the bird, and tell them we’ll buy their shit at whatever price WE want to!
    I remember my Senior year in High School, 1986, when we had a POTUS with class, integrity, and a pair of balls, he told everyone we were going to “open the valve”, and I remember seing regular gas going for around 65 cents a gallon that summer.

    How ’bout this campaign slogan:

    Because America runs better on American oil. :em01:

  21. 21
    bruce growls and barks:

    the jews are going to nuke iran.

  22. 22
    the botnet growls and barks:

    Pumping more oil here is NOT going to lower our prices at the pump by one copper penny, no matter how romantic it sounds to you about not relying on foreign oil.

    Interesting the way in some people’s minds the law of supply and demand doesn’t pertain to petroleum. Seems to me that more oil (aka: “supply”) will lower the price.

    I don’t have the greatest memory, but I can tell you that back in July 2008 when teh Evil Boooooosh deep-sixed the executive order banning offshore drilling, in two days the price for a barrel of oil dropped from $145 to $134. And this was just at the mere hint that the supply would increase.

    Now imagine if we did something to actually increase supply, or make the real production of petroleum endproducts cheaper…

    But of course, since supply and demand doesn’t pertain to petroleum, everything I just said is complete and utter bullshit, right?

  23. 23
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    There is also more oil that is easier to get at in Saudi Arabia and Russia

    Maybe that’s why the U.S. is third and not first in oil production. As an aside, the U.S. was second in 2009 and 2001

    Now for the FIRST time, oil and refined gas leads the top of our exports

    That statement is a bit misleading.

    It should read “Now for the first time in at least 21 years oil and refined gas leads the top of our exports.” which would indicate that the U.S. has led the world in production and export in the past.

    Just answering your question to Proud Infidel when you dismissively asked “When exactly was that?” when he stated “Just think about how GOOD America had it when we were the World’s #1 oil producer and exporter”.

  24. 24
    LC TerribleTroy growls and barks:

    If the speculators control the prices, and the mere mention of drilling in the past has had a immediate impact on the speculators translating to a immediate decrease in barrel price, explain to me again why opening more of our resources wont have any impact on prices?

  25. 25
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    The cost per barrel hasn’t really gone up in adjusted dollars for decades. It is still around $10 per barrel, which accounted for roughly one-third the price of a barrel until the speculation went wild and vastly inflated the price.

    You have a point.

    While the oil companies have always made an effort to manipulate the price of their product, The problem has spiraled out of control ever since investment banks like Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs, Barclays, and J.P. Morgan got into the oil business when Congress deregulated the futures market in 2000.

    It isn’t going to happen because the money to be made is not in the delivery of the product, it is in the control of the product. Otherwise gas would be back down to $2.00 a gallon again including all of the taxes.

    Investment banks control a surprising amount of pipelines, refineries and storage facilities that they operate through subsidiaries. They’d be happy to sit on the oil and gas or export it until they can release it domestically at what they deem, a “suitable price”.