Why Romney in ’12 is Just Like Handing Ogabe Four More Years

Needless to say, we’ll still vote for him, but that’s just because we at least reserve the right to refuse pulling the trigger of the gun pointed at our head.

But it won’t matter whether we do or not, as John Hawkins so perfectly points out in “7 Reasons Why Mitt Romney’s Electability Is A Myth.

It’s also 7 reasons why Mittens, among all of the candidates in the GOP clown show, hasn’t been savaged by the OgabeMedia with weird allegations while every single other contender has been carpet bombed with innuendo, hype and straight out lies where the first two wouldn’t work.


Because believe you us: The moment Mittens ObamneyCare gets the nomination (heaven forbid), the OgabeMedia will unleash every single item in their 30,000 page oppo research file on him and add made up shit to fill in the gaps.

Just ask president McCain, the Mavericky GOP Sweetheart of the Media. Until he actually got the nomination.

Face it, MittBots, your guy is unelectable, and John’s article sums the reasons up perfectly. All of his 7 points are right on the money, although His Imperial Majesty honestly doesn’t give a flying intercourse with a disease-ridden bat that he’s a Mormon, but it probably will mean something to somebody.

But the single most important one of them, the one that we’ve been thinking about ourself and that has been staring all of us in the face ever since the whole show started, is that nobody even bloody LIKES the slimy, lying, two-faced, flip-flopping, weaselly son of a bitch.

Think about it: In spite of him having run for president without interruption since 2007, in spite of him having, by far, the most well-funded, well-organized campaign in the entire field and, most importantly, in spite of him having been given a free ride, a total hands-off treatment by the same OgabeMedia who will happily accept as gospel truth every single unsubstantiated utterance or rumor against any other candidate, he still hasn’t been able to break past 20% in the polls.

If that’s not enough for you, then think about the fact that the actual base, the ones who actually get candidates elected, have been scrambling from one candidate to another, ANY candidate, just to find one that isn’t Mittens ObamneyCare Romney. In the name of Shaitan’s thong we’re now down to, wait for it, Newt Gingrich or Ron Paul in a desperate attempt to keep Mittens away from the brass ring.

Seriously? If that doesn’t tell you how desperate the party base is to find somebody, anybody who is not Mittens ObamneyCare, then we doubt that anything will. Seriously, if Hillary Clinton were to change party affiliations and run in the GOP primaries, we’d give her good odds on grabbing the nomination if Mittens is the alternative. Fuck, we’d have to consider it ourself!

Does that matter? Of course it does. You may sniff your bromides about how the base can’t go anywhere else and how it’s the independents that decide the election anyway, but you’d be fooling yourselves.

Are the independents manning the GOP phone banks, walking the streets and banging on doors, donating as much as they can to the GOP candidate, slapping up signs in their front yards? Are they the ones spending hours trying to convince everybody around them that they really, really need to vote for their candidate? Are they the ones spending countless utterly unpaid hours venting in letters to the editor and exposing stuff on blogs that the OgabeMedia won’t touch because it might hurt their Black Jesus? Are they the ones offering lifts to get voters to the booths on election day?

No, they’re not.

Because if they were, they wouldn’t be “independents”, now would they?

It’s the base that does all of that, and that, more than anything else, is what gets the “I can’t make my mind up, let’s see who wears the better tie” independents to vote for one particular candidate. They go for the best show, the best soundbites and the most impressive effort, that’s all they go for (just see what happened in 2008), and without the gaffers, without the stage crew, there’ll be no bloody show at all.

Do you seriously believe that the very same base who wouldn’t piss on “most electable” ObamneyCare Mittens’ hair if it was on fire are going to put on a good show if he’s the candidate in November of next year?

There’s a reason that the OgabeMedia have been holding back their fire, and it is not that they think that Mittens is the most dangerous candidate their Ogabessiah might face.

And, on that note, the NRO (now officially known as the “National Romney Online”) can go fuck themselves. We’re just happy that Buckley didn’t have to see what his peach fuzz, beltway cock-slurping successors did to it. Maybe when they get older and their testicles and voices drop, they’ll grow a brain.



  1. 1
    Orion growls and barks:

    This election is as rigged as the last, and as rigged as all the ones in the future.

    The State Media will help ‘elect’ only those deemed suitable. It’s somewhat pointless to discuss who we’d LIKE to elect because even if due to some colossal screw-up by the Politicians and an actual candidate ended up on the ballot, enough votes would be lost, mis-filed, ‘disqualified’ (e.g. all the VA military ballots in the last election) or ‘discovered’ as needed to ‘elect’ the chosen one. They even rig the primaries to ensure that their candidate gets on the ballot (e.g. Indiana in 2008) or that his competition doesn’t (Strangely, Virginia again).

    See Christine Gregoir in WA and others in recent elections across the country.

    I’ll still vote, and enjoy at least making them go to the effort to throw my ballot out.


  2. 2
    jdog43 growls and barks:

    Romney is boring. Another Dole and McCain Ho hum.

  3. 3
    LC/IB PrimEviL growls and barks:

    The further this crap goes, the more dismay I feel for the fate of the Nation. It has become abundantly
    clear that neither party will host an upright candidate. Bipartisanship has devolved into two doors that
    lead to the same loading chute to the abattoir. Cattle tend to be contrary and fractious, so just give
    them the illusion of having a choice, then they will enter of their own accord.

  4. 4
    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

    And in a side note, Ben Nelson (D-INO) announced today that he’s retiring. That’s cause he knows he doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of winning reelection after selling us down river. “Cornhusker kickback” anyone? Funny how our guys would rather retire than take their chances at the ballot box (Hagel did the same thing). Wusses.

  5. 5

    Loved the article, Sire, but what were you really trying to say? :em05: I’m just getting so fucking sick of having to “lesser of two evils” instead of good or excellent.

  6. 6
    irish19 growls and barks:

    I’ll vote for Mittens if he’s the candidate. Then I’ll head off to my friendly neighborhood gun store for more ammo.

  7. 7
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    irish19 says:

    I’ll vote for Mittens if he’s the candidate. Then I’ll head off to my friendly neighborhood gun store for more ammo.

    I’ll head off to the local sushi place to gorge myself on wasabi and sake to wash the taste out of my mouth and to numb my brain to what I’ve just done.

    But I’ll do it.

    Because it has to be done.

    It doesn’t matter in the big picture that Mittens is a cowardly weather vane, it really doesn’t matter WHO the fuck the GOP nominee is in this election, what matters is that this is the last chance we have for shooting down OgabeCare before it goes into effect.

    And once it goes into effect, it’s not ever going to go away. Future elections will be based on trying to make that disaster less disastrous, but it will never, ever be repealed. If you doubt it, see Medicare, Social Security, Medicaid et al.

    And once government controls your health care, the race is over. From then on, it’s just a matter of waiting for the whole rotten system to collapse in violence and anarchy.

    Again, don’t just take my word for it EVEN THOUGH I’VE FUCKING WELL LIVED IT AND OUGHT TO KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. Look across the Pond.

    Now, you won’t get any argument out of me regarding Mittens being the least likely crusader against OgabeCare, seeing as how he invented and implemented in in Taxachussetts (with predictable results), but that’s not the point.

    He’s not going to be the one to spearhead the effort, he won’t be going to Congress asking them to get rid of it but, unlike Ogabe, he most likely won’t veto it when Congress who, in case anybody is forgetting, are also up for election next year, do it FOR him. He has, in his cowardice, actually got that going for him. He’s not going to be the one to yell “stop” when the majority of Americans tell him to bloody well sign the legislation.

    Ogabe, on the other hand, will certainly hit the veto button as many times as he needs to because he, like I, knows just exactly that once it’s fully implemented, it’s not going away ever again. And in a second term he won’t even have to worry about re-election, which wouldn’t stop him anyway or he would have never tried to push it through in the first place.

    This is the last shot. By 2016 it won’t matter a flying fuck who we run, because it will be too late.

    The patient will be dead.

  8. 8
    themandownthehall growls and barks:

    Misha, you know I don’t like Romney either. All you have to do is look at my comments on this very site where I’ve said that there is no way I’ll vote for him. Well, that’s out. Obama must go. So I will vote for him if I have to. However, fisking this article is too easy. All 7 points can be dissected and destroyed and I will do that here:

    1. Romney has held steady in the mid 20’s. The issue is not that it’s anyone but Romney. The issue is everyone has their preferred candidate. Hell, right now, it’s anyone but Ron Paul and I can remember the “not Perry” sentiments. Yes, I know Romney is not the first choice of 75% of the electorate. Neither is Ron Paul, Rick Perry, Newt and so on. The only one who could jump in and be the first choice of more than 25% is Palin. Polls leading up to the caucus will be all over the place. But the winner won’t get more that 35% of the vote and the winner in Iowa or New Hampshire is not the winner of the nomination anymore. Remember, McCain didn’t score a win until South Carolina. He mentions excitement. Excitement is not a candidate centered emotion. Few make people excited. Even Palin would get groans by a lot of people. No, excitement is an environment centered emotion. Does anyone remember all the excitement of Bush when he was against Gore? Me neither. It was more of a “damn, that Gore is crazier than we thought” choice. In 2008, it wasn’t nearly as much “Obama excitement” as it was “God, please get George Bush and his look alike McCain out of here”, Even with Reagan, it was more a “Please let’s just get that stupid peanut farming asshole out of here”. It’s rarely the candidate’s excitement factor. It’s usually how things are going at the time of the election. The economy, stupid isn’t just a saying, it’s the truth.

    2. Ok, he’s saying that losing to Ted Kennedy in a state that Ted Kennedy owned and had never lost an election in means he’s a loser? Really? That’s as dumb an argument as I have ever heard. Kennedy won in 1988 with a 65-34 margin. He won in 1982 61-38. He won in 1976 69-29. He won in 1970 62-37. He won in 1964 74-25. He won in 2000 73-13-12. He won his final Senate seat in 2006 by a 69-31 margin. He beat Romney 58-41. The closest election Kennedy faced and not at a time when people were tiring of Kennedy. Romney won the governor race in 2002. After governing as a moderate, he was turned out for not being liberal enough. Polls showed him with mixed results before he decided not to run in 2006. His opponent would have been Deval Patrick. A solidly liberal black man in a state full of guilty white liberals. Not even Reagan could have won that one. In the 2008 presidential run, he could have beaten McCain if Huckabee would have dropped out instead of draining the anti-McCain vote from Romney. Huckster, being part of the idiot wing of the party, stayed in to do just that.

    3. Obama won North Carolina, Virginia and Florida last time. He WON’T this time. He’s trailing in all 3 and also in Indiana and Ohio. With the economy in the tank Obama will not be close enough for Acorn to fraud those states. Lots of whites who voted for Obama in 2008 won’t this time. I know several of them who have already stated that the republican will get their vote. Those usually solid red states that Obama won, will be red again. Bush, not Obama, was the target of their vote last time. This time, Obama is Bush.

    4. He’s not “lapping the field” because in the run up to the primaries, NO ONE laps the field. Yes, he’ll receive an anal probe of epic proportions if he’s the nominee, but what republican doesn’t? As far as experience goes, Obama proves that people will vote for the candidate they hate the least regardless of experience. In 2012, if things keep going like they are, experience in politics will be a hinderance, not a help.

    5. Bain Capital will be tricky but it can be overcome. I can’t believe the author references OWS to make his point here. Come on, NO ONE out side of the hard core lefties gives a crap what the OWS people think. The OWS message appeals to less than 25% of people and they will vote democrat, green or socialist anyway. Bain received government funding, that will be an issue Romney has to address. It’s not good and yes it will be used against him. But trying to make the case that Ted Kennedy won because he ran those commercials doesn’t hold water when you look at the results I published above. It didn’t stop Romney from being governor. It won’t stop him from the presidency either. Obama can try to push that, and he will, but for every Bain commercial, there will be a Solyndra commercial to follow it.

    6. Mormonism: As the author said, Mormons are by and large great people. But if they think that the mainstream press and hollywood (lowercase on purpose) will be able to use their talents to paint Mormons as crazy, all Romney has to do is pull out Jeremiah Wright and put him on TV yelling GD America. They’ll take the strange Mormon over the American hating pseudo-muslim black liberation theologist currently in the presidency. As for evangelicals, they aren’t called the idiot wing of the party for nothing. If they can’t come around because of Mormonism, then they are entirely too stupid to be allowed to vote. Believe it or not, they by and large stayed home in 2004 and it didn’t stop Bush.

    7. Flip Flopper: That is the biggest problem Romney will face. Bush killed Kerry on it, but Obama has flip flopped on a number of his big promises. People may not like Romney’s flip flopping, but I’ll bet by the election they will hate Obama more. They don’t know what Romney will do, but one thing is for sure, the know what Obama will do and that’s more than enough for people to take a chance on Romney.

    The bottom line of this election is simple. If whoever wins the nomination (Romney included) can make this election a referendum on Obama, they will win.

  9. 9
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    themandownthehall @ #:

    [Full disclosure first: If I’ve already answered something or there’s something that themandownthehall hasn’t addressed that I said in the previous comment, it’s my fault. I added everything after “But I’ll do it” in an edit after my initial post while he was typing.]

    Now to my reply: All good points, themandownthehall, to be sure, and I’m glad that we completely agree that it really doesn’t matter how odious the GOP candidate is, we will still vote for him as Ogabe HAS to go.

    And my issue here isn’t whether or not I’ll vote for Mittens if he becomes the nominee, because I will. No doubt about it. It’s whether it will make a difference, because I remain convinced that he’ll lose.

    You’re right that the “excitement factor” isn’t all that there is to it, but I maintain that it’s important. Not to you and I, we know what’s at stake, but you and I won’t win an election on our own. My concern isn’t that anybody will vote for Ogabe because Mittens is a flip-flopping big government fuckup, it’s that they won’t bother to vote at all. Or vote third party, which is just as bad. That happened to a large extent in 2008 where the GOP chose to run a candidate who was as endearing and exciting as congealed oatmeal and the other side had an unknown who gave great speech.

    Yes, you’re right that it was also “anybody but Bush” back then and that it will be “anybody but Ogabe” next year and that will help us, no doubt about it, but just being different from the other guy wasn’t all that dragged idiot Fiddy2ers out to vote for Obam-bam. Like it or not, he pulled off some amazing Nuremberg Rallies, he managed successfully to never ever be specific about anything, letting the voters instead pretend that he was whatever they wanted him to be and he was, as we both know, helped immensely in this by the OgabeMedia, which is something that our candidate in 2012, no matter who he is, won’t have.

    We have to make up for that shortcoming with excitement and enthusiasm, because that’s what runs the phone banks and door-to-door activism, and Mittens just won’t be able to get that. Nobody cares enough about him for that. I mean, dammit, even people like you and I have to have a gun to our heads just to go vote for him.

    And we’re talking about political junkies who know what’s at stake if we DON’T vote for him. I wish it weren’t so, but in the big scheme of things, our votes don’t amount to all that much. We have to get the couch potatoes out there to vote. Our candidate has to convince them that it’s worth their time, that he’s sufficiently different from the incumbent to warrant them taking half an hour off to go vote.

    Heck, I’m as busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest trying to get everybody who already agrees with me to vote for Mittens anyway. How am I going to fare with undecideds or, for that matter, how am I going to have time to even bother?

    “No matter who we nominate, the press is going to savage them.”

    Again, you’re right. We could run Jesus Christ himself and that would still be true. But we need somebody who will have an effective counter to those inevitable attacks. What does Mittens have? Solyndra, Jeremy Wright? Sure, but will he do it? I doubt it and, at any rate, the OgabeMedia still have enough influence over the great unwashed that most of them won’t know what the fuck everybody’s talking about.

    We have ONE enormously effective issue that a candidate could hammer on, and that’s OgabeCare. 2/3 of the American population were against it and that was when it was at its most popular, before it was “deemed” passed so we could find out what was in it. It’s a fucking sledgehammer in the face of Ogabe in an election.

    And Mittens is the only candidate who can’t wield it, because he invented, designed and implemented the damn thing and, to this day, refuses to admit it was a mistake.

    He is the weakest candidate we could possibly run against that Marxist monster Ogabe, and that is my point.

    But I’ll vote for him anyways. I just don’t have much faith in the outcome.