EUropean EUnuch Fail

And no, for once we’re not talking about their imploding economies built entirely upon unicorn farts and assorted other idiocy, we’re talking about the EU’s fixation with wasting millions on performing “studies” to justify regulating the everloving heck out of everything.

We thought they’d reached the pinnacle of pinheadedness ages ago when they made an official decree regarding the permissible curvature of cucumbers (no, we’re sadly NOT making that up), but little did we know:

EU officials concluded that, following a three-year investigation, there was no evidence to prove the previously undisputed fact [that water can prevent dehydration].

Producers of bottled water are now forbidden by law from making the claim and will face a two-year jail sentence if they defy the edict, which comes into force in the UK next month.

We’re not quite sure what’s more incandescently imbecilic here. That they’re making the claim that there is no evidence to prove that water can keep you from dehydrating or that they, over a period of three years of “study” (heavily subsidized by hapless EU taxpayers), were unable to find such evidence.

NHS health guidelines state clearly that drinking water helps avoid dehydration, and that Britons should drink at least 1.2 litres per day.

We guess that’s it for the NHS then. Off to gaol for two years with the whole lot of them. The claim has been banned by law, after all.


A meeting of 21 scientists in Parma, Italy, concluded that reduced water content in the body was a symptom of dehydration and not something that drinking water could subsequently control.

That’s it! The consensus is clear! The debate is settled! REHYDRATION DENIALIST NAZI RACIST GENOCIDAL MANIAC FLAT EARTHERS!



  1. 1
    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:


    And DJ and others like him can’t wait for us to become just like their beloved socialist Europe. It’s coming,and there won’t be anywhere left on earth that we’ll be able to move to.

  2. 2
    Hvy Gunner 0331 growls and barks:

    You’re kidding… Right? Please tell me you’re kidding. Tell me that this is out of “The Onion” or something, right? I mean, this is a joke, yes?

  3. 3
    single stack growls and barks:

    If reduced water content in the body isn’t alleviated by putting water in the body, just what does alleviate dehydration? :em03:

  4. 4
    tweell growls and barks:

    Ah, but you don’t have to drink the water, you can ingest it in other ways, the EU says. Well… I remember something about using enemas for rehydration purposes. That would be an extreme emergency measure here, but probably much more common there.

  5. 5
    MikeG growls and barks:

    Next they’ll tell you that kisses don’t make boo boos better.

  6. 6
    FabioC. growls and barks:

    I located what seems to be the original EFSA communication on the issue: (the full report is in PDF format)

    In its opinion the Panel notes that dehydration was identified as the disease by the applicant and that
    the risk factor was proposed as “water loss in tissues” or “reduced water content in tissues”. The
    Panel considered that the proposed risk factors are measures of water depletion and thus are measures
    of the disease (dehydration).

    For reduction of disease risk claims, the beneficial physiological effect (which the Regulation requires
    to be shown for the claim to be permitted) is the reduction (or beneficial alteration) of a risk factor for
    the development of a human disease (not reduction of the risk of disease). However, undersupply with
    water would not be considered as a risk factor for dehydration (the disease) in this context as the
    beneficial alteration of the factor (increased consumption of water) is not a beneficial physiological
    effect as required by the Regulation.

    It should be noted that the NDA Panel has positively evaluated a general function claim on water and
    maintenance of normal physical and mental performance.
    (bold mine)

    So, EFSA rejected one specific claim by one specific entity. Then the EU fucked things up further and the Telegraph reported the EFSA decision with quite a spin.

  7. 7
    Secondmouse growls and barks:

    Wha-huh? Wait……..but………..well………….ah………..oh, never mind.

  8. 8
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    And we bailed out these drooling fucktards from Bellevue twice in less than a century (three if you count the Cold War, four if you work for the Federal Reserve) for WHAT exactly?

    These dumb fucks are more concerned with the cigarette burning in the ashtray than with the six alarm fire (and the fire department i.e. America isn’t coming this time) engulfing the building known as the European Union. Is European History even taught anymore to these tits on a boar hog? Right now it’s just anarchists and other assorted leeches of society that are currently tossing rocks and Molotov Cocktails. When the whole charade comes crashing down (which it will) worrying about whether or not water can prevent dehydration is going to be the least of their fucking worries.

    Keeping their heads attached to their bodies at the neck will be.

  9. 9
    Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan growls and barks:

    Told the wife that since it now seems that water does not prevent dehydration, it must be sex…… and I was feeling a little parched. She told me that only works in Europe.

    Knew I shoulda married a dumb girl.

  10. 10
    Lady H growls and barks:

    Some of y’all that like Socialist/Commie “utopias”? Good for you, there are looking like many for you, varying in degrees.

    So take advantage of it, buy a one way ticket out of here and LEAVE THE REST OF US ALONE!

    Don’t tread on me.

  11. 11
    LC Draco growls and barks:

    Actually….drinking pickle juice and then Powerade cut 50% by water (the body can only take about 10% glucose and most athletic drinks run about 15-20%) will help you maintain hydration and electrolytes.

    POWER TO THE PICKLES!!!! :em01:

  12. 12
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    single stack @ #:
    BEER!!!!!eleventy! :em01:

  13. 13

    1st Toad – “Hey buddy, you look dehydrated, y’thirsty?”
    2nd Toad- “Yeahman, the ol’ lady got squashed in the road before she could restock the ‘fridge”
    1st Toad- “No prob, bro’,, here, sit in some ‘a this..”

  14. 14
    LC Proud Infidel growls and barks:

    It sounds like those pseudointellectual idiots could totally fuck a wet dream up with no effort! I’ve seeen some limp-dicked milquetoast types before, and these ‘lil shitballs are in the top 5!

    WATER, HELL, BEEERR! :em07: It looks like the EU has gone past the FUBAR stage!

  15. 15
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    Not that we really needed any more proof that the EUnuchistan government has no more than 3 live brain cells amongst all of them.

  16. 16
    irish19 growls and barks:

    Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan @ #:
    LOL! Good try, though.

  17. 17
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    irish19 says:

    Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan @ #:
    LOL! Good try, though.

    :em05: :em05: