Great Moments in Premature Explodulation

Seems the Domodedovo attack wasn’t the first such attempt, only the first one turned out… poorly for the wannabe explodulator (h/t LC Intellectual Conservative).

The “Black Widow” bomber, who may belong to the group that attacked Moscow’s Domodedovo airport on Monday, planned to set off her suicide belt near Red Square, potentially killing hundreds of people, the newspaper reported.

And this is where the story takes a… fucking HILARIOUS turn:

Instead, security sources believe that a text message wishing the woman a happy new year from her mobile phone provider set off the explosives hours before the planned attack, The Daily Telegraph said.

“There, all set. The cursed infidels will rue the day, RUE THE DAY, I tell you! Wait, is that my phone rin…”

*BOOM!*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAH!

Listen, dear LCs, the next time we get one of those automated “to our valued customers” greetings, we promise, PROMISE we won’t get pissed off!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHA!

“Death by courtesy call…”

Thatisall.

16 comments

  1. 1
    mousseman growls and barks:

    Telemarketers could have uses beyond our wildest dreams. :em01:

  2. 2
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    :em01: I shouldn’t :em99: laugh, I really know I shouldn’t laugh :em99: aw…fuck it!!! :em01: :em01: :em01:

  3. 3
    Grammar Czar growls and barks:

    They aren’t called ‘splodeyDOPES for nuthin, ya know.

  4. 4
    LC Random Numbers growls and barks:

    Proof that SPAM KILLS!!! :em01:

  5. 5
    LC Alric growls and barks:

    Heh, more like spam saved lives, in this case! :em01:

  6. 6
    LC PrimEviL growls and barks:

    LOLs, now that is funny, right there. :em01: :em01:

  7. 7

    “We love spam, wonderful spam…”

  8. 8
    LC PrimEviL growls and barks:

    This is hysterical, because Taliban don’t have answering machines.

  9. 9
    Library Czar growls and barks:

    Spam, spam spam spam

  10. 10

    “This party you are trying to reach is,,,,mist,,, at this time,, please try again later,,”

    They couldn’t agree on the gender,, m-heh,,

  11. 11

    I’m honored by the hat tip ..

    ALLAH FUBAR!! :em01:

  12. 12

    So, does the stupid hajmo cunt think that if she blows up all the C-4 in her cavernous smelly cunt, she’ll actually get some REAL men to FUCK her in the afterlife? LOL. Listen, you stupid shaheed bitch: I fucked all the best. None of them will fuck you if you were all the rest. Your cunt is rotten and your Allah’s ass is tighter. We’d rather all fuck him. BTW, there is NO aferlife. Stupid bitch. Allahu FUBAR in your nasty unwashed haji ass!

  13. 13

    Response to Princess Natasha, Resident Bohemian Bum @:

    Don’t hold back, tell us how you TRULY feel :em02:

  14. 14

    Nat needs some prowling time,, ‘got too much unsprung,, it’s gotta find a way out,,, :em95:

  15. 15
    Darth Venomous growls and barks:

    Would they give a Darwin Award™ for that? :em01:

  16. 16
    LC LittleRott84 Imperial DJ growls and barks:

    Now that reminds me of the skit Jeff Dunham did with Achmed, the Dead Terrorist. :em01: :em99: