This is When We Dance

And a warm thank you to LC Light29ID for trying to cheer us up in the Game 7 thread, even if it took us a while to find it.

We appear to have found an exception to the “no good deed goes unpunished” rule, because this particular good deed will.

No charges will be filed against the “Good Samaritan” who shot and killed a robber two weeks ago in the parking lot of a Cub Foods store in Minneapolis.

That word today from the Hennepin County Attorney’s Office.

But the sister of the dead robber faces two counts of Aggravated First Degree Robbery.

Hooray! Although it’s a great pity that the skank wasn’t plugged as well, but she was wise enough, regrettably, to not give the Good Samaritan a legal excuse to put her out of our misery.

According to the criminal complaint, on Thursday, October 20th, a 53-year-old woman was robbed just before 10:00 p.m. outside the Cub Foods on 26th Avenue and struck in the head by a gun held by the robber, 23-year-old Darren Evanovich.

That’s what’s usually called “pistol-whipped”, but obviously that was too inflammatory for ABC. Wouldn’t want to hurt any violent criminals’ feelings, would we?

Minneapolis Police say their investigation showed that at least two other people were with him and one of them was Marberry.

Marberry being the crack ho, skank-ass sister, to stay in the vernacular.

After Evanovich took the woman’s purse, all three ran off in a northwest direction, police say.

That’s when a man who witnessed the robbery chased Evanovich.

Obviously the gentleman didn’t take kindly to scum whacking ladies over the head and making off with their possessions, and we do mean “gentleman” in every possible way.

According to witnesses, the man drove up to the spot where he saw Evanovich going through the victim’s purse and asked him if he wanted to give the purse back.

See? Gentleman to the core. His Imperial Majesty would have been much less polite but, then again, His Majesty was brought up to not waste time on showing manners toward vermin.

Witnesses say that’s when it started to turn ugly–Evanovich pointed his gun at the “Good Samaritan,” and moved towards him.

Obviously mistaking impeccable manners for weakness, something that scumbag goblin Evanovich would not live to regret.

The man in the vehicle pulled out his handgun and shot Evanovich.

And the crowd. went. WILD! Yippee-ki-yay, mother… Er, sorry. We got a little carried away there.

Authorities say after they reviewed the circumstances, they determined that the man “acted in self-defense.”

Let’s review. Mustn’t jump to conclusions here. Goblin draws weapon on Good Samaritan, points it at him and Good Samaritan whacks his worthless arse. Yep, we’d say that counts as self-defense. Also, common sense. Not to mention good reaction times. Not easy to win a gunfight when the other guy already has the drop on you. Even when the other guy is a crack-addled, subhuman bucket of slime.

Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman said today in a press release, “While this man is to be commended for helping his fellow citizen in need, a note of caution is appropriate. We prefer that armed citizens do not chase after criminals. Too much can go wrong with deadly consequences.”

You’d rather leave that to unarmed citizens? No, we get your meaning, really we do. One should exercise extreme caution when there is a chance that human beings might be injured. Thankfully, in this case, no humans were.

Police say Marberry was found by Evanovich’s body after he was shot and police arrived.

Unfortunately, she was found with her vital signs still intact.

What we don’t understand is this:

No charges have been filed against her for her role in the October 20th robbery and shooting.

She was with the robber at the time of the crime, she was seen running off with him, but she’s not charged with anything? What, exactly, are the laws in Minnesota on this kind of thing? Because here in Texas she’d be charged as an accomplice in a crime with a lethal outcome, but maybe that word, accomplice, has too many syllables for Minnesota legislators.

Oh well. She’ll weed herself out of the gene pool soon enough. Meanwhile, we’ll celebrate the timely demise of another goblin and the fact that the good guy who dispatched him off to hell won’t be charged with anything.

Even though we firmly believe that he should at least be reimbursed for the ammunition.

Thatisall.

16 comments

  1. 1

    Sports may offer an escape from reality, however temporarily, but reality must eventually resume.

    Hunting is a sport. :em07:

  2. 2
    NR Pax growls and barks:

    I thought I saw a smiling Baby Jesus earlier…

  3. 3
    LC Proud Infidel growls and barks:

    Nice shooting by the Samaritan, somebody oughtta at least buy him a shot and a beer!

  4. 4

    Here’s what I find interesting – the use of language in this story.

    According to the criminal complaint, on Thursday, October 20th, a 53-year-old woman was robbed just before 10:00 p.m. outside the Cub Foods on 26th Avenue and struck in the head by a gun held by the robber, 23-year-old Darren Evanovich.

    I find this instructive. The one thing I do remember from journalism school is that you should avoid the use of passive voice in a story. I use this rule when I edit papers from my staff here at work as well. Passive voice is weak, and active voice should be used whenever possible.

    I have noted the media’s and the gunbanners’ penchant for blaming the gun – not the person wielding it – for murder, rape, robbery, etc. No matter what the misdeed, it’s the gun’s fault. We must ban the gun. We must implement more gun control. And more often than not, the media resorts to these very subtle techniques to avoid blaming the criminal, while making the gun the primary culprit.

    Note the woman wasn’t pistol whipped by the robber, she wasn’t even struck by him. She was struck by the gun held by the robber! It’s bad enough the writer doesn’t even attempt to tighten the language in this paragraph, but he goes out of his way to make the language extra clunky by making the gun held by the robber responsible for the crime. I would have written it like this:

    According to the criminal complaint, 23-year old Darren Evanovich pistol-whipped a 53-year-old woman during a robbery attempt just before 10:00 p.m. on Thursday, October 20th, outside the Cub Foods on 26th Avenue .

    I don’t know if it’s intentional, or just piss poor writing, but I’ve seen this type of stuff before, and I tend to think this is a subtle technique to place the blame on the inanimate object.

  5. 5
    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch @ #:
    Nickster,

    While you are mostly correct, there are times when passive voice is more acceptable. For example: the car driven by an unknown person struck and killed the older man. (active, but emphasis is on the car). The older man was struck and killed by a car driven by an unknown person. (passive, but emphasis is where it belongs…on the older man).

  6. 6

    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. @ #:

    I’m not saying you don’t ever use the passive, but in a story like this, what I see is a deliberate use of clunkier language to place the emphasis on the gun, instead of the criminal.

  7. 7
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch @ #:

    Damn Nikki, do you want us to diagram the sentence too?

  8. 8
  9. 9
    LC Draco growls and barks:

    As a side note, from reading the article, if I was Evanovich, I would have my gun already pulled, but out of sight. Putting the gun in your gun hand, and placing it in your lap, keeps it out of sight. (Until needed…or IF needed!) Most people aren’t trained or think about it, tho!! And shooting from a vehicle is a special skill most people can’t practice or are trained to do.

    :em01:

  10. 10

    LC Draco @ # 9: Well said, and that’s why there are schools for that sort of thing, run by people who’ve been there, and hopefully controlled entrance to those good people that may need it against bad people.

  11. 11
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    LC,

    Most people aren’t trained or think about it, tho!! And shooting from a vehicle is a special skill most people can’t practice or are trained to do.

    That’s the #1 reason all my pistols have Crimson Trace. Not a substitute for proper aiming techniques, but sometimes ya gotta go off-center, and this is a real nice indicator of where the bullet needs to go or is going to end up… :em01:

  12. 12
    MikeG growls and barks:

    Just FYI for ya, Pups. A few years back, Minnesota adopted a “shall issue” policy regarding permits to carry a pistol. No longer would we need to prove a reason as to why we need to carry. The State needs to prove why we should not. (felony conviction, mental illness, etc) Obviously there are many more of us now armed in public.

    This is thanks in large part to State Legislator Tony Cornish, who sponsored the bill.

    Oh. And all that crap you hear about policement not approving of a citizen’s right to be armed? Mr Cornish is the Chief of Police in my town.

    Atta Boy Tony!

  13. 13
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    Any pups heading to Tulsa next week?

  14. 14
    GamerFromJump growls and barks:

    OT: Condoleezza Rice is on Letterman tonight. That lady’s got the gun show happening — she could probably punch Dave’s head off his neck.

  15. 15
    LC Draco growls and barks:

    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician says:

    LC Draco @ # 9: Well said, and that’s why there are schools for that sort of thing, run by people who’ve been there, and hopefully controlled entrance to those good people that may need it against bad people.
    LC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops Technician recently posted..So blatant, especially the “Caveman” knows it

    For some of us…it was the school of hard knocks. That’s why we wore cross-chest holsters in Iraq vs. hip holsters. Ever try to draw a pistol with a seat belt on? I can’t even go to a store and sit in the car without releasing my seat belt and putting my hand on my gun. PTSD? ..yeah…got it…..hyper-awareness…yeah, I got it. I see a gun in the hand of someone I don’t know, things get interesting. 2004 was a blur, as was 2010….but I feel naked without my HK or Kimber, my SOG belt knife and my cell phone.

    It’s the world we live in now.

  16. 16
    LC Roguetek growls and barks:

    LC Spare Parts @ #:

    depends. What’s in tulsa?