Moochelle Antoinette “Spitting Mad” That Somebody Told The Truth About Her

(H/t Jammie Wearing Fool).

First lady MICHELLE OBAMA fuming as PAULA DEEN dishes on her unhealthy eating habits despite new book “American Grown” PR blitz!

MICHELLE OBAMA is now furious with Southern cooking queen PAULA DEEN for crowing that the first lady, a healthy-eat­ing advocate who’s waging a war against childhood obesity, pigs out on fatten­ing foods.

Hey! She’s waging a war on childhood obesity! Once you reach Moochelle’s age, it’s perfectly OK to stuff your pie hole 24/7 with a metric ton of lard every day!

While plugging her new book, “Paula Deen’s Southern Cooking Bible,” the feisty TV chef took a pot shot at Michelle for gorging herself on greasy french fries, fatty hot chicken wings and sug­ary deep-fried Snickers bars!

“Michelle’s spitting mad,” a source told The ENQUIRER.

As a matter of fact she spat out two whole slices of cheesecake, a stick of deep-fried butter and half a side of bacon, that’s how mad she was.

“She thinks Paula is trying to smear her and her family just as the 2012 presidential election race swings into gear.”

Consulting the Liberal to English dictionary…

“Smear”: Telling the truth about a liberal.

Paula added: “She probably ate more than any other guest I ever had on the show! She kept eating even dur­ing commercials. Know what (the Obamas’) favorite foods are? Hot wings. Y’know – those kinds of foods that aren’t necessarily top-of-the-list healthy foods.”

“Michelle now deeply regrets ever being on Paula’s show,” added the source. “There are a lot of digs she would have been able to brush off, but portray­ing her as a high-calorie gorger during her crusade for healthy eating is crossing the line.”

She was so upset that she had to console herself with three boxes of Belgian stuffed chocolates washed down with an extra cream latte.

Eat your veggies, America!

Thatisall.

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FrankOK
Member

Awww – the poor mistreated Wookie …

lc purple raider
Member

Oh. My. G-d.

Every other picture of the First Klingon shows her stuffing her face. Her backside is as big as the Rocky Mountains.

She’s a one woman food shortage.

Southern Libertarian
Member
Southern Libertarian

She was so upset that she had to console herself with three boxes of Belgian stuffed chocolates washed down with an extra cream latte.

Darn you sir, now I’m hungry.

LC Gunsniper
Member
LC Gunsniper

“There are a lot of digs she would have been able to brush off, but portray­ing her as a high-calorie gorger during her crusade for healthy eating is crossing the line.”

Yeah. After all, it’s perfectly normal to wash down a large plate of Swiss fudge cookies with a glass of gravy.

jdog43
Member
jdog43

Golly Miss Mouchelle, You inspired me to order my own copy of Paula’s cookbook. :em01:

Just Another Random Nut, GLOR
Member

Both women are making far more drama about it than is necessary. Typical, I suppose. The fact is that most people don’t eat and don’t need to eat like professional athletes. That is HARD to do for any length of time, and you have to love what you’re doing and believe in it to make it work for you. The key to healthy eating is balance. Aristotle (I think?) had this one right – moderation in all things is the key to happiness. Including, on occasion, moderation. There’s no reason to abstain forever from everything you enjoy, and if you try, it makes you more likely to lose all control at some point.

Amusing, but not a real issue. Let’s talk real issues.

Just Another Random Nut, GLOR
Member

Now … about that apple crisp I was planning on making tonight ….

Igor, Imperial Booby
Member
Igor, Imperial Booby

Random, I’ll be right over with some Cool Whip (the FATTENING kind)! Yum!

If the First Wookie can’t stand the heat, get her overstuffed butt the heck out of the kitchen.

Attaaaaaaaack Waaaaaatch! :em05:

LC SecondMouse
Member

The first lady is just one more member of the “Do as I say, not as I do” crowd.

Double standard, thy name is Liberal.

Shaitana
Member

Haha! Now my best friend and I are going to have to buy Paula’s book. Darn you First Sasqwatch!

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
Member

Just Another Random Nut says:

Both women are making far more drama about it than is necessary. Typical, I suppose

And it’s a weight and eating issue! Good lord! You expect women NOT to go apeshit over that? They wouldn’t be women if they didn’t!!!

Just Another Random Nut says:

Amusing, but not a real issue. Let’s talk real issues.

Yep.

Just Another Random Nut, GLOR
Member

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch @ #:

And it’s a weight and eating issue! Good lord! You expect women NOT to go apeshit over that? They wouldn’t be women if they didn’t!!!

Heh. I am one and I never saw the benefit of freaking about it, but I guess a lot of women do. I suspect Paula Deen is projecting just a tad there, and Michelle Obama may or may not be a hypocrite.

LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
Member

Between the exceptional drought in Texas and Oklahoma (two of the major wheat producing states), government subsidies for ethanol (diverting food corn production to ethanol production), and the First Clydesdale eating every damn thing in sight, no wonder the price of food is going up.
Oh, and you losers who “win” the dinner with Ear Leader and spouse: be sure to keep your hands out of an area three feet from Moochelle, otherwise you may pull back a stump. Treat any place within her reach as restricted air space.

Just Another Random Nut, GLOR
Member

Igor, Imperial Booby @ #:

Random, I’ll be right over with some Cool Whip (the FATTENING kind)! Yum!

I’m all about vanilla ice cream with apple crisp, but yeah. 🙂

I need to find some local people who can help me deal with the consequences of my baking habit.

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
Member

Just Another Random Nut @ #:

I will admit having struggled with weight, especially when I was doing musical theater and having had immense pressure to keep skinny – to the point of bulimia. So I do understand this insane sensitivity to it. Michelle Obama is slimmer than a lot of women in this country, and physically I think she actually looks good. She’s a human being, so yeah – she’ll probably eat bad shit on occasion. Who doesn’t? It’s really a non-issue. And frankly, making a big deal out of it draws more attention to this bullshit. Paula Deen is no pixie either.

Just Another Random Nut, GLOR
Member

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch @ #:

I completely agree with you (and I have also struggled with weight, but not to the point of throwing a hissy like these women are). It’s not normal to NEVER eat anything bad. Like I said, it’s being blown out of proportion.

Imperial Grammar Hun, G.L.O.R
Member

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch says:

Paula Deen is no pixie either.

That’s true, but there’s a big difference in the women (no pun intended). Deen isn’t in our faces every other day, preaching to us what we serfs should be eating. MO, on the other hand, travels the world, stuffing her face with food most of us could only DREAM about, let alone afford…all the while lecturing the peons.

Americans don’t like being lectured as it is…they like it even less when the person lecturing is a hypocrite.

LC Light29ID - The Imperial Asshole
Member

A fucking book about the garden that she visits only when the cameras are rolling and the rest of time it’s maintained by the Parks Service???

Are WE paying for this pile of horse shit???

We thought the Clintons were trailer park trash but these fuckers wouldn’t be allowed past the gate because it would drive the value of the trailers into the dirt.

LC Light29ID - The Imperial Asshole
Member

btw I can’t stand any of the fuckers on Foodnetwork anymore. When Sara Moulton and Ming Tsai left it went to shit.

America’s Test Kitchen , Cooks Country and Cooks Illustrated are great. I subscribe to all three. You learn how to cook real food and not fancy shit with tons of ingredients or any “light or healthy” school cafeteria vomit.

LC Light29ID - The Imperial Asshole
Member

wtf Sire? I’m in moderation? Didn’t you get the contestants for the Imperial Dungeon Game Room that I sent you???

Just Another Random Nut, GLOR
Member

LC Light29ID @ #:

I just use allrecipes.com and lighten it up if needed; easy substitutions are easy.

Bones
Member
Bones

I’ve always found that if you fry it, preferably in bacon grease, it tastes great. You ain’t getting outa this life alive, so enjoy it while you’re here. Pity that my wife now does most of the cooking and won’t buy me bigger clothes! :em03:

Graumagus
Member

Cue “Paula Deen is a southern RACIST!” screed in 5…4…3..2..

LC FORGER - Monster Hunter
Member

Just speculating here, but judging from the way Paula was heapin’ praise and kisses upon Jimmuh’s ass when he was on one of her specials, I’d have to say she’s a lib, and being a good Southern cook, she prolly took FKOTUS M’Chelle S’Squatch’s Hypocritical Hoovering of every scrap as a compliment and was bragging about it.

I just wonder if they had to use non-magnetic cookware to keep the gravitational field of The Massive Singularity of Ass from sliding pots and pans across the counter???

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
Member

LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. @ #:

I agree that Americans hate hypocrites, but we need to be reminded that promoting healthy eating does not mean completely shunning other types of food. You can be an advocate of a healthier diet without surviving on celery. I don’t see the big deal here, other than the First Sasquatch pitching a fit about it. She should have just let it die.

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.
Admin

Bones says:

I’ve always found that if you fry it, preferably in bacon grease, it tastes great.

The History Channel recently had a special about Suthren culture. In one segment they were talking about the Dixie penchant for frying damn near anything. Trace Adkins had one of the best lines. To paraprase “You take your flower, add some pepper and spices, then you take your dead thing and roll it in the flower..”

Gawd I do loves me some southern cookin’,

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
Member

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. @ #26:

Anything can be fried or barbecued … except soup. And with the soup, BBcue/fired stuff soup should go in the soup.
As for the Queen of Spades, may she harvest her lettuce and deep fry it – in canola oil.

irish19
Member
irish19

LC Light29ID @ #:
Try “The Cooking Channel”. It’s got reruns of the original Iron Chef from Japan and The Two Fat Ladies-among others.
I miss Sara Moulton too.

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
Member

Emperor Misha I @ #:
My bigger problem was with the White House’s constant pressuring of restaurants, food manufacturers, stores, etc. and wasting taxpayer money on “healthier” programs in schools that benefit Zero’s union buds.

Every First Lady has a cause, so I won’t begrudge her that, especially since she’s actually in decent shape for someone who apparently sucks down food.

Personally, I don’t want to hear sermons from ANY shitbag in government! It’s not their place to tell me how to live.

I think if she just left it alone, and didn’t have screeching hissy fits about someone claiming she was a hog, this would have all gone away. *shrug*

BTW – did you see that email I sent you yesterday???????? OMG! ANGRY!!!!

LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.
Member

pRezidential daily dingaling: “If we don’t work harder now than we did in 2008, you’ll be on your own!”
Whooaaahhh,,, outstanding,,, funny that,,it’s what the constipate wall streeters fear most,, but that’s ALL I EVER WANTED!

(Kicks TV plug out’a the wall)

LC Gladiator
Member
LC Gladiator

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooochelle Obammy

bruce
Member
bruce

if you took the first Sasquatches face and pushed it into cookie dough you could make gorilla cookies.

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
Member

bruce says:

if you took the first Sasquatches face and pushed it into cookie dough you could make gorilla cookies.

if you did that I’m pretty sure those would be some BITTER cookies