Mary

Caveman sent the following yesterday, and I post it for him with a sad and heavy heart.

 

A depth of gratitude owed…to all of you

   I seek the words, yet so inadequate, expressing what we feel…..
   Mary and I attended Mass this evening, both of us confessing our sins, myself receiving communion.
   Tomorrow Mary, before friends and the eyes of God, will be welcomed into the Catholic Church.
   For this Friday proved a cruel culmination of fears, doubts and forsaken hopes.
   I have long suspected it might come to this, those cold equations spoke all too well.
   Now, unfortunately it has.
   Mary wishes to receive extreme unction.
   We had a talk Friday at Stanford….with three doctors.
   Mary’s cancer has now overtaken roughly half of her bone marrow, an extremely virulent leukemia.
   There is one drug that can be administered, until it no longer works, for the cancer will mutate around it in time.  One woman lasted a year, most last a couple of months, all of them suffered horribly from nausea and related difficulties.   In the end, the cancer always wins.
   Mary and I have shared and spoken of things no couple should ever have to address.  But address them we did.
   We have held each other while we wept, she not wanting to leave her precious friends here in Dos Palos, she loves Dos Palos so much….she does not want a funeral, does not want a printed obit, told me she would like Trish to have us all raise a cup for her at the Elephant.
    I will honor her wishes…….
    She has rarely spoken of her own fears, only the pain her passing would cause others, her mother in particular.
Given these circumstances, her choice of concerns speaks volumes about her character and love.
    She does not want to leave me, or Erin……..she worries about me and my atrocious eating habits, saying I need a Keeper.
    Through shimmering vision I told her it’s OK for her to return Home.  We’ll be OK, just stop by and see us once in a while.   We will know…I know I will.  And yes, I will plant the daisys next spring.
    I sensed her father in the hospital Friday………he knows too.
    Now she cannot work in her gardens any longer….lamenting she probably will not see her daffodils bloom this winter.
   Or the new kitten turn into a cat.
   We have been told to see what she wants to see and whom she wishes to see while she feels well enonugh, for she will soon be too weak.  I have to get my hands on a wheelchair.
    She is being taken to the beach Monday, a place called Bean Hollow, for in the mighty ocean she finds God and a spiritual rejuvenation.  For as I told her…..”Sets boundaries and limits, cleanses and regulates, the true holy water of our planet….what we call the ocean…”
    She is asking a Mass be said for her…..
    It has long been suspected.
    It has now been confirmed.
    Mary is terminal….no going back, barring a miracle.
    It is estimated this cancer will take her life in between two to four months.
    Taking her face in my hands when the diagnosis was first rendered…”I will never abandon you..”
    And now, from the alpha to the omega of our time together…..I will take care of her, tend to her needs, up to and including being there when she is called Home.  Seek out the light, call out to Jesus, He waits.
    For that is what love is all about………
    It is what I am all about………..
    It is what a man does……
    And I will step forward once again……
    I love her so much…The Other Half…..
    And now I have to let her go, to return Home…to give her back to God……

              Thank You all…..

                                  Kent
Irish Dragoness has requested the following on her Caring Bridge site.
Some of you have seen my posts concerning our friends Mary and Kent. Mary is now terminal and has been given three months to live. Please join us in praying a novena to St. Peregrine, for her. We will be starting the novena tomorrow. EWTN has a novena on their website. Those of you who do not wish to pray the novena, please join us for nine days of prayer. You are the branches on the prayer tree and this couple needs your prayers, perhaps that is part of the reason why God has so many people visiting our site. We cannot keep prayers solely for ourselves.
She posted this yesterday so that makes today the start of the novena. It will end on Monday October 9. For those of you who wish to join us the text of the St. Peregrine prayer is below.
O great St. Peregrine, you have been called “The Mighty,” “The Wonder-Worker,” because of the numerous miracles which you have obtained from God for those who have had recourse to you. For so many years you bore in your own flesh this cancerous disease that destroys the very fibre of our being, and who had recourse to the source of all grace when the power of man could do no more. You were favoured with the vision of Jesus coming down from His Cross to heal your affliction. Ask of God and Our Lady, the cure of the sick whom we entrust to you.
(Pause here and silently recall the names of the sick for whom you are praying)
Aided in this way by your powerful intercession, we shall sing to God, now and for all eternity, a song of gratitude for His great goodness and mercy.
Amen.

To my dear fiends Kent and Mary, please know that we love you and we will be here for you, now, until the end, and after.
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LC Thresher
LC Thresher

Kent, I hope that this doesn’t sound trite, because I mean every damned word of it: If I could take Mary’s cancer into my own body, to give you two more time together, I would do it in a heartbeat.

I’m so heartbroken that this end has come.

You’ve got my prayers, for whatever they’re worth.

LC HJ Caveman82952
LC HJ Caveman82952

Crunchie? Mary is a rottie in the truest sense of the word……. We just spoke again, of God, of heaven,,,and the rainbow bridge….. Having a smoke in my front yard, enjoying the morning quiet here… My first thought, as I froze……………… I’m not good enough….. I have to write her epitaph………………… I’m almost afraid…….can I do this thing? She stood… Read more »

LC HJ Caveman82952
LC HJ Caveman82952

It is not trite, Thresher, I had asked the same thing. Many times, let her live God, take me instead.

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch

Tears.

You are both in my heart.

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

Kent,

I dont have words to express what I feel for you both. For once, I am speechless. I am so sorry it has come to this. I pray the LORD gives you BOTH the strength to endure this.

Orion
Orion

:((
There is nothing I can say, but I am very sorry. This is awful.

Orion

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery

Kent, There are times when words don’t count for much, and I’m sure that this is one of those times. I’ve had them myself, when my father died in 2005 and when my mother in law died 6 months later and when my best friend died in 2000, had it too when I was diagnosed with cancer…..you appreciate the sentiment… Read more »

LC Light29ID - The Imperial Asshole
LC Light29ID - The Imperial Asshole

“And when she goes to heaven
To Saint Peter she will tell:
Another Marine reporting, sir;
I’ve served my time in hell!”

Mary is a Warrior, may God grant her the honor to lead others in His House

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher

Very saddened that this happened.
May your Faith comfort and strengthen you.

LC HJ Caveman82952
LC HJ Caveman82952

Jaybear……………, I will continue to love, to care and share……just yesterday the city manager, a personal friend, came to my home and dropped a nice certificate of appreciation from the City of Dos Palos, for our community service. He told me we are in your corner. He has a lot of clout here, a good guy. It takes a lot… Read more »

LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard

Kent, my heart goes out to you and to Mary. I pray God give both of you the strength that you will need in the time remaining to Mary. Love her all the more, cherish her even more. You two have the love that too many couples do not anymore. That makes it all the more painful for you two,… Read more »

LC Darth Scoundrel
LC Darth Scoundrel

My heart is breaking for you Kent. I lost my Laura a little over a year ago to lung cancer. She knew she was dying, I did not. Or rather, I did know, but I did not know how soon, and I did not ask. She knew, but she did not tell. She did not want me to treat her… Read more »

Patrick
Patrick

My prayers are with her. 🙁

LC Draco
LC Draco

Words can not convey my sadness, but also my respect.

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.

Kent, Mary, I’m having a very hard time seeing through the tears to type this. The only positive thing is that The Lord will take Mary’s soul unto Himself in Heaven, and she will be there waiting when you join her. She will be whole, and in perfect health with you for eternity. Know that you are both loved by… Read more »

Kent & Mary I truly feel that our purpose in this world is to learn to love. One had better pay attention for the the test is sure to follow. Through this venue of the A.I.R.E. I have only “glimpsed through a glass darkly” the lessons my fellow LC’s have been given for study. I pray I have the wherewithal… Read more »

FrankOK
FrankOK

Faith in God and His Son is the only power that can possibly provide the strength and inner peace both of you need in order to deal with the future.

My prayers offered.

Emperor Misha I
Emperor Misha I

Kent, I lack the words here, honestly I do. All I can say is what I kept telling myself over and over again when first my grandmother and then my aunt passed: This human form is not our natural state. We belong somewhere else, and when we pass is when we have graduated and are found worthy to enter into… Read more »

BigDogg - Imperial Thread Killer (ITK)
BigDogg - Imperial Thread Killer (ITK)

Kent, Tears running down my face and mere words of condolence seem so insufficient … I am so sorry for you both. I know that you are a man of faith, and though I’m not sure of the specific verse at the moment, I know that the Bible says that we who believe “do not grieve like those who have… Read more »

LC HJ Caveman82952
LC HJ Caveman82952

We were given a blessing today…. The Catholic church walking distance, yet I availed myself all too infrequently. Today, just now, in the presence of Mary’s two dearest friends, she was baptized, confirmed and received communion, as did I. But the best of all, and the keyboard is getting kinda’ blurry. I married her once again, reaffirming our vows…..Father Van… Read more »

dasbow
dasbow

Kent, I think you don’t have to fear writing your beloved Mary’s eulogy. Your words here have been so powerful and beautiful that I find myself looking through a veil of tears for a woman I have never met, but somehow feel that I still know. I have no doubt that you will find the right words to say, and… Read more »

LC Aquila
LC Aquila

I have read your words through this struggle with your beloved. You and she are a shining inspiration of courage, love, compassion and strength for all the rest of us. My prayer have been and will continue to be with you both. I understand the visits death makes to our lives, the inevitability of our going Home. It is almost… Read more »

Hvy Gunner 0331
Hvy Gunner 0331

Caveman, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you, but please accept my prayers for both you and your Lady. Misha took the words out of my mouth a few comments above: May God grant you the strength to endure this trial, but take heart, oh Christian, that Mary lives in the light of Grace through Faith, and I… Read more »

LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut

Cave…

Although we have never met, I still consider you and Mary a dear friend, May the Lord comfort both of you until your last moment with her, and always know she will be waiting by The Lords side until you are reunited.

Shaitana
Shaitana

I wish there was something I could do. There isn’t.
I wish there was something I could say. There isn’t.

God’s blessings and love to both of you. Prayers and love sent your way, though we have never met.

Love Victoria

LC ShadowFox
LC ShadowFox

Lord, bless and keep your servant Mary and be with her as she comes into your kingdom. May you also be close and give strength to those whom Mary leaves behind. Guide and preserve them till they are all together with you.

irish19
irish19

The dust is kicking up here something fierce right now. For what it’s worth, know that you are both in my prayers. I can’t really add anything to what has already been said.

tweell
tweell

The peace of our Lord be with you. All of you.

lc purple raider
lc purple raider

Caveman: Keep her warm, keep her comfortable, and do anything she asks of you. I know you will do so, but it’s the only advice I can give. I have no soothing words now. I will continue to pray for a miracle, God does work in mysterious ways. Not one person should go through a thing like this. I am… Read more »

LC Xystus
LC Xystus

26.

I wish there was something I could say. There isn’t.

My first impulse is to rant about my & my family’s experiences–as if that would help. The truth is, I haven’t been there. If there are good words, I can’t find them now & must remain a mute spectator. 🙁

Bambina
Bambina

My prayers are with you and Mary. The truly good and beautiful die far too young, because God needs them with him.

Bones
Bones

I cannot read anymore. My prayers for you and Mary. Though we never met and probably never will in this life, we will in the next. May G_D comfort and keep you and Mary.

LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondent
LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondent

Prayers and thoughts Cave.

I lack any words that can ever come close to being of any help, so I will simply pray for Mary and You.

LC Roguetek
LC Roguetek

Caveman – there, but for the grace of God, go I. If there is every anything I can do for you to help you in any way, please, let me know. Even if it’s as trivial as dropping in for a visit.

again, anything.

LC PrimEviL
LC PrimEviL

Kent,

Sorry to hear it has come to this.

Find peace in the sure knowledge that you have made the right decision.

It takes great courage to let go with grace.

I understand where you are at.

Been there with Mother.

LC Gregory
LC Gregory

I’m sorry, Kent. I’m so sorry.

Prayers up for you guys.

:*(

Greg

emily_nelson
emily_nelson

I’m so sorry to hear this. May God comfort you among the others in Zion.

LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.
LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.

Too busted up to emote.
News is horrible and encouraging all at once.

LC SmokeyBehr
LC SmokeyBehr

Cavey: If you ever want to get completely shitfaced after this is over, let me know, and I’ll be either your bartender or driver. I lost my future father-in-law to cancer last year at Memorial Day, and I’ve lost several other dear friends to various forms of cancer over the last few years. Sometimes the best thing to do is… Read more »

LC HJ Caveman82952
LC HJ Caveman82952

Thanks, Smokey, but I don’t drink. However…………. On highway eighty-four , we drove through stands of redwoods, past Alices Restaurant, yeah, that one, on to Bean Hollow and San Gregorio beaches. Thirty miles therabouts south of San Francisco. I did stand facing the ocean for about half an hour, silent and observant, thinking and watching , Mary next to me……sitting… Read more »

Delftsman3
Delftsman3

Everything I can think of to say just seems too hollow. No one else can feel the same pain you do right now, or in the days to come,and it’s wrong to even think we can; but I hope that you may find some tiny bit of solace knowing that everyone who has ever had the slightest bit of contact… Read more »

LC Aggie Sith, a goddess, only different, G.G.O.R.
LC Aggie Sith, a goddess, only different, G.G.O.R.

Dearest Mary and Kent,

My love and prayers go out to you on angel’s wings. We all grieve, and I for one feel a hole in my heart for a woman I never had the great fortune to meet.

But I will be happy, for this world is indeed a better place for having Mary in it.

Princess Natasha, Imperial Koch-monger
Princess Natasha, Imperial Koch-monger

Caveman, I have never met you or Mary in person, but this is breaking my heart. You both are inspiring and wonderful, and I am glad I know you two, even if only from posts on a blog. My prayers and thoughts to you. Mary is an amazing lady.

Virago
Virago

Caveman, This thread has kept me together for the last two days. Please don’t misunderstand because I do grieve for what you and MAry are going through. Cancer sucks. I pray for you and Mary. On October 1st my husband of 29 years and 11 month’s passed. He was a great husband and father and I am still In shock… Read more »

Lady M-ITT™-Imperial Sniper G.L.O.R
Lady M-ITT™-Imperial Sniper G.L.O.R

Kent, words fail at a time like this. All I can offer is my pain on your’s and Mary’s behalf. I pray that the Lord covers you both in his peace and mercy. To allow you to spend your final days together in love and calm, knowing that when your job is done here on earth, she will be waiting… Read more »

harleycowboy
harleycowboy

If only words could heal. Prayers have been sent on your behalf.

LC Aggie Sith, a goddess, only different, G.G.O.R.
LC Aggie Sith, a goddess, only different, G.G.O.R.

Dear Virago, I am so sorry for your recent and sudden loss. I know in my heart and mind you will see your hubby again, and I pray that comforts you as you grieve.

LC HJ Caveman82952
LC HJ Caveman82952

Dear Virago….; To smile through the tears. God? I want this one back when my time comes..His name is Phil. Not was, is. How my heart ached for you. Your guy, your friend, taken all too soon. A man, having served his country, paying a dear price. As is his wife. I too, know the all too brief, merciful amnesia… Read more »

Just Another Random Nut, GLOR
Just Another Random Nut, GLOR

Oh wow. Prayers go out to you and yours – what a horrible situation. There’s only one quote that strikes me here, from John Donne’s “Meditation 17”: No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the… Read more »

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.

Caveman and Cavechick, Only now do I feel the resolve to come here … and yet I must confess I am near at a los for words. I know how long you struggled. But is obvious that He is determined that this must be. Please ask Mary to pray for us after she arrives, since we will need the prayers,… Read more »

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.

Et to Virago?

I am so sorry, and offer you my deepest sympathy. I give your husband a final salute from a distance. Please tell him to watvch for me, because when I eventually do my PCS, I will want to meet him for a chat, and to exchange toasts of the Celestial brew.

LC HJ Caveman82952
LC HJ Caveman82952

The Rotties have been so wonderful to the two of us…….reminding Mary she is one, certainly has the spirit and shares our ideals. She wept reading the comments, meaning the world to her… As I told her…you do matter….. And she loves target shooting. Unfortunately I will get her .357 back, keep it until the day I die. Her brother… Read more »