OgabeMedia Gleefully Anticipating Cage Match Between GOP Contenders

Hoping for some Hope for their Messiah.

We can’t entirely dismiss them as being utterly cerebrally deficient, of course, considering that our main concern at this point is that the Tea Party candidates will go after each other like nuts, leaving Mittens “I’m Really Not Substantially Different From Ogabe Except For the Occasional Soundbite” Romney free to pick up the pieces, but it’s still funny watching the OgabeMedia grasping for any straw they can find while the try desperately to tread water next to their sinking Titanic.

INDIANOLA, Iowa — Gov. Rick Perry is privately being coached to come across as more presidential — cautious in his comments, deliberate in defending his Texas record — while building on his fast start by trying to consolidate support across the Republican spectrum, from the Tea Party and evangelicals to the party establishment.

Of course, no sources for their claims about this “private coaching to become more like Mittens” are provided, but this is the Pravda on the Hudson, after all.

Former Gov. Mitt Romney of Massachusetts is steeling for a long and combative fight for the Republican nomination, dropping his front-runner’s strategy and preparing to confront Mr. Perry on immigration,

Which is a very good point. As a Texan, we’re not all that thrilled with Perry’s “tread softly” approach to the invasion from the south, but we’d like to see what monumental, rock-ribbed conservative achievements Mittens will bring forward to prove that he’s any better on that score. It would surely be refreshing to see him have any actual achievements that differ in any way from Il Douche. He might not want to open himself up to that particular “so what did YOU do?”

his quarter-century in government

During which Perry accomplished more that can be called conservative than Mittens the Establishment RINO ever did. Please, do go on the attack on that one, Mittens. Tell us all about the miserable failure that is Massachusetts Care and then give us all a song and a dance about how “that was the best you could do in a blue state”, then watch Rick eat your lunch on your immigration attacks by asking you just what you expected him to achieve in a border state. Please. We beg you.

and his claims of creating jobs in Texas.

All of which are demonstrably true. Granted, we know that this is in doubt at the Pravda on the Hudson, but that’s understandable seeing as how you only have ENRON advisor Cluckman as a source, but if you look at the actual facts… Who are we kidding? The New York Slimes and facts??? Hah.

Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota is working to shatter the notion that the race is becoming a two-person contest, scaling back her campaign appearances to study Mr. Perry’s spending record in Texas in an effort to raise skepticism about his candidacy among Tea Party supporters.

Spending record? Have you been reading too much Soros Matters again? We’d like to remind you that we still have a balanced budget here in Texas, no thanks to Il Douche’s “recovery summer.”

At the same time, there remains a debate within the party about whether the candidates are moving too far right in pursuit of their most ideologically committed voters, and about how to balance principles against the assumption that winning the White House requires the ability to appeal to centrist voters. In recent weeks, former Gov. Jon M. Huntsman Jr. of Utah has been making the case for moderation, attracting new attention.

From the readers of the New York Slimes, perhaps, but we all know how they’re going to vote, don’t we? If Il Douche were to show up at a press conference with the bodies of two toddlers, one in each hand, munching on their brains, they’d still vote for him. Somehow, we don’t really think that trying to attract that particular demographic is something that anybody should bother with.

But, once again, you’re doing us a favor by letting us know who you’d find “acceptable” as the GOP nominee, since that tells us exactly who not to vote for. Just ask President McCain how well your pre-general election endorsement worked out for him. Then kindly tell us again who this “Huntsman” is, because outside of you and the three voters voting dutifully for him in every poll, we’re not quite sure that anybody else knows who he is.

Outside of his immediate family, but we can’t confirm that either.

“Republicans have to nominate someone better than the person they want to defeat,” said Mike Huckabee, a former Arkansas governor and 2008 presidential candidate.

And wildly successful at that too, as we recall. Tweedle-de-dum, tweedle-de-dee, Mike the half-a-bee.

As to nominating someone better than Il Douche… Well, unless Shaitan manages to forge a certificate of live birth from Hawaii, that shouldn’t be too hard.

Really, though… The New York Slimes is still pimping Jon “Who The Fuck Is HE?” Huntsman? Seriously? His supporters, indeed people who have even heard about him, is a group even smaller than that useless fish rag’s subscribers, and that’s saying something.

As to ourself. Perry isn’t our Golden Boy, but he’s good enough. He hasn’t failed us in Texas, he has never failed to listen to the people who brung him to the dance, even when he had to publicly admit to having made a mistake as a result, he’s not afraid to be in your face when it’s necessary, he’s not afraid of a fight, as a matter of fact he seems to enjoy it.

We’d prefer somebody like Gary Johnson, though, but he’s a nobody. He has zero name recognition, and it doesn’t matter three farts how much we like him, nobody is going to vote for him in the primaries if they don’t even know who he is. We like Herman Cain too. Yes, he’s woefully inexperienced on foreign policy, but he has a willingness to learn, a distinct distaste for issuing sweeping generalizations on shit he knows he doesn’t know squat about and he’s not afraid to admit to saying something stupid either. All of which are good qualities. But he’s an unknown too. He’ll never survive the primaries, not because people don’t like him, but because they’ll look at his name on the ballot and ask themselves “who the heck is HE?” Michelle Bachmann? If she makes a strong showing, we’re behind her four square. We like her a lot more than Perry, and when we say “if she makes a strong showing” it’s not because we like to end up being the one to back the winner, but because the WORST thing that can happen is that this turns into a seven side cage match which leaves Mittens OgabeCare Romney the winner by default.

In the general election, our motto is “anybody but Il Douche”, and that includes Mittens.

In the primaries, which is the FIRST battle and the most important one as we really don’t see anybody or, indeed, anything losing to Il Douche, who is currently polling slightly below Salmonella, our motto is “anybody but Mittens.”

Two different elections. But we’re dead serious about Mittens. If the Hildebeest were to mount a primary challenge against Ogabe and win it and she were facing Mittens in the general, we’d be having to think long and hard to not vote for her.

We don’t need, we can’t AFFORD another “I’ll go along with socialism, only I’ll destroy this republic slower” candidate like Mittens. If we’re destined for collapse, at least let it be a Democrat Socialist at the helm when the shit hits the fan.

Thatisall.

9 comments

  1. 1
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    First, would you PLEASE stop comparing that fine periodical known for it’s journalistic standards and honesty with the New York Times?
    :em05:

    Second, it’s not just the commies that want Mittens. The RINO’s can’t wait bury their horns in Mittens backside.

    http://angry.net/blog2/?p=4726
    :em08:

  2. 2
    Grammar Czar growls and barks:

    Tell us all about the miserable failure that is Massachusetts Care

    FIFY. You’re welcome. 8-)

  3. 3
    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing growls and barks:

    Just like when it was McShitstain as the republican nominee, if Huntsman, Romney, or any of the “Old Gaurd ”
    party favorites get the nod just because “It’s their turn” then this cat is done.

    I just can’t vote for the lesser of two evils, it really doesn’t make sense, they are both EVIL.

    I for one, will just wait around for the 4th box to be opened.

  4. 4
    SoCalOilMan, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    I’m waiting until Wednesday night to start getting behind anyone. I don’t know Perry well enough to make a decision yet. I’ve read the good and bad about him here from all you Texans, but I’d like to see him perform. Of course with so many candidates, it’s going to be hard for anyone to get more that sound bites out, but I figure most of the heat is going to be on Perry this time so we can hear his rebuttals.

    With MSLSD and Politico as the sponsors I expect the questions most likely be slanted and leading and/or irrelevant and stupid. So it may be a wasted evening.

    I have likes and dislikes about all the candidates except Huntsman (who is this Huntsman guy the LSM keeps saying should be in the lead?). I’m hoping this debate thins the crowd down so the next go round with have time to cover issues in more detail.

    Mitten v Obambi = Mittens….Mittens v Hillary = ??? I’d almost vote for Hillary and let the Dems really own the ensuing disaster, showing the world the even a “moderate” Demorat can’t get a handle the economy.

    I am finally started to get worked up about the election. I posted on my personal blog for the first time in 6 months.
    SoCalOilMan, K.o.E. recently posted..Dear Mr. PresidentMy Profile

  5. 5
  6. 6
    SoCalOilMan, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    Radical Redneck @ #:

    “I think the floors are a little cleaner.”

    :em05:
    SoCalOilMan, K.o.E. recently posted..Dear Mr. PresidentMy Profile

  7. 7
    LC Nixcell growls and barks:

    Sounds like they want nothing more than to take Perry and emasculate him on the great political operating table. Screw ‘em. This Texan wants his politicians loud and plain spoken! :em01:
    LC Nixcell recently posted..ChangesMy Profile

  8. 8
    The Lone Haranguer growls and barks:

    We like Herman Cain too. Yes, he’s woefully inexperienced on foreign policy, but he has a willingness to learn, a distinct distaste for issuing sweeping generalizations on shit he knows he doesn’t know squat about and he’s not afraid to admit to saying something stupid either. All of which are good qualities. But he’s an unknown too. He’ll never survive the primaries, not because people don’t like him, but because they’ll look at his name on the ballot and ask themselves “who the heck is HE?”

    In addition, Obasm has poisoned the well, so to speak, for any future black candidate.

  9. 9
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    The Lone Haranguer @ #:
    I disagree. Obama has poisoned the well for any future Liberal Black candidates. Also white, Asian, martian, etc.