Another Job Opening in al-Qlusterfuckda

That is, if you’re interested. It appears that there’s been another layoff among the leadership of Whack-a-Mole Inc, pisslamic Division.

Al-Qaida’s second-in-command, Atiyah Abd al-Rahman,

Known to his friends, both of them, as “Noodles.”

has been killed in Pakistan, delivering another big blow to a terrorist group that the U.S. believes to be on the verge of defeat, U.S. officials said Saturday.
The Libyan national had been the network’s operational leader before rising to al-Qaida’s No. 2 spot after the U.S. killed al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden during a raid on his Pakistan compound in May.

Field promotions suck, we tell you.

Bin Laden’s longtime deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri, is running the group but is considered a divisive figure who lacks the founder’s charisma and ability to galvanize al-Qaida’s disparate franchises.

He also seems to lack executive skills in “employee retention.”

“Zawahiri needed Atiyah’s experience and connections to help manage al-Qaida,” the official said.

Maybe try a Ouija Board?

Well done, troops! Keep it up!



  1. 1
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    I nominate ALGORE to the vacant position

  2. 2
    The Lone Haranguer growls and barks:

    :em01: May he rest in pieces.

  3. 3
    Bones growls and barks:

    I will happily voleenter for the post. Before Ya’ll start barking and snarling at me, just hear me out. First, get a list of all outstanding resources (people, money, equip., etc). Have one “cell” send suicide bombers to take out another cell due to “idiologcial impurity”. Wash, rinse, repeat. After several dozens rounds of this, call the CIA with appropriate co-ordinates, wash, rinse, repeat. Finally, ensure that all their money goes to an unnamed bank in Caymans. Then invite all the rotties over for the biggest pork bar-b-que of the century. Still working out a few of the details, but its a basic plan in the works. :em01:

  4. 4

    One vote for algore,, check.
    My choice for a candidate, after intensive study of numerical/economical backgrounds will go toooooo
    Barny Buttbreath Fwanks!
    And,,, give ‘im a little time to work his particular magic before closin’ time,, hmmm?