Now that Irene has officially made landfall, it’s time for our calm, collected and utterly unemotional Hurricane Response Team to send a public announcement to the northeastern provinces of the Empire:

*** WEATHER ALERT FOR THE NORTHEAST FOLLOWS *** TO LCS OF THE NORTHEAST, GET THE FLYING EVERLOVING FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!! *** TRANSMISSION ENDS ***

They’re nothing if not succinct and to the point.

No, a Cat 1 is not just a tiny little fart with nothing to worry about, in spite of what you may have convinced yourselves. Particularly not when it hits an area with little to no experience of what to expect. Yes, we know that you’ve heard numerous examples of people on the east coast of Florida and the Gulf Coast to the south hanging in there and toughing it out while living to tell the tale. Most of the time. Sometimes they earn a Darwin Award or two as well.

But they know what to expect since they’ve likely been through a couple of them before. They know the structural integrity of their surroundings, the expected reach of tidal surges etc. and they still manage to get it wrong on occasion.

You don’t have that experience, so kindly do us all a favor and stay safe instead. There is nothing “cowardly” about jumping out of the way when a freight train is coming down the tracks that you’re standing on.

Err on the side of caution and, above all, stay safe. Please.

Hang in there.

Thatisall.

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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
Guest
August 27, 2011 15:01

Yer Majestyness, I think your warning to our LCs is not necessary. If they were too stupid to get the hell out of the way of a hurricane, then they were probably stupid enough to vote for Obama, and therefore probably not intelligent enough to be a reader/commenter of this blog.

angrywebmaster
Member
August 27, 2011 15:35

I’m in NH and it has just started raining. I’ve already laid in supplies of beer, pizza, and lottery tickets. I’m all set for the Big Wind of 2011. However, I don’t know if any of us will be ready for the Great BlowHards of 2012. No I’m not taking this storm seriously. I’ve seen worse, usually when Algore is… Read more »

Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan
Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan
Guest
August 27, 2011 15:48

There is an old proverb that says “During a storm you seek shelter under a tree and not the clouds”

LC Draco
Guest
August 27, 2011 16:32

I am just waiting til it hits New York!!

angrywebmaster
Member
August 27, 2011 16:52

LC Draco @ #:
Well, the town does need an enema after all. :em01:

LC Trooper THX1138, Imperial Gadget Geek
LC Trooper THX1138, Imperial Gadget Geek
Guest
August 27, 2011 17:12

the wife, apprentice, and i are battened down in the capital region of ny, with water, a gas stove, lighters, lights, and all manner of supplies at the ready. expecting something like el nino + santa anas in one day.

LC Light29ID
LC Light29ID
Guest
August 27, 2011 17:28

I’m so concerned and frightened about this world ending storm that here, on the Outer Banks of the Binjo Ditch known as the Potomac that I took the following necessary precautions. 1. I turned off that maroon known as Shepard Smith. 2. Took a shower 3. Took a nap 4. Fed the fucking kat 5. And finally my most important… Read more »

LC R6
LC R6
Guest
August 27, 2011 18:02

Fox news reporter to East Coast resident: “What will you do?”

East Coast resident: “All we can do now is pray.”

Fox news reporter: “Well, you could get in your car and LEAVE!”

East Coast resident: “Oh. Well there is that.”

Darwinism at its best.

:em05:

angrywebmaster
Member
August 27, 2011 19:05

I just looked outside. It’s stopped raining. Looks like Irene’s promises, much like Obama’s, don’t amount to a fart in the wind. :em07:

angrywebmaster
Member
August 27, 2011 19:06

LC Light29ID @ #:
I did my laundry, read a book, ate some authentic Chinese food made by my authentic Chinese wife and surfed nicedoggie.net
:em01:

LC Gunsniper
LC Gunsniper
Member
August 27, 2011 20:21

Dedication to duty.

Courtesy of Ace of Spades HQ.

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
Guest
August 27, 2011 21:42

NOW I believe this storm is gonna be a bad one.

Geraldo is standing outside and his hair is wet…….

IT’S THE APOCALYPSE!!!!!

:em07:

Lady H
Guest
August 27, 2011 21:50

I’m telling ya, based on years of experience, if Jim Cantore of TWC is there, it will likely be Doom for you. (Last seen in Battery Park, NYC, btw.)

RR, you had better stay safe. Your unsavory links have lots of fans around the world, I think. (And they’re afraid to admit it, but they LOVE them!) :em05:

The Lone Haranguer
The Lone Haranguer
Guest
August 27, 2011 22:57

Don’t worry, everything is under control now. The Obasm has taken charge! The best part isn’t the banal article itself, but the comments, like this one: Thank Alla that we have a truly fearless leader who is not afraid to stand in the face of Hurricanepalooza, give a speech, and make the godless storm move away from his voting base.… Read more »

GGE
GGE
Guest
August 28, 2011 01:36

Last I heard 2 dead and 1 missing in NC due to Irene: one was hit by a tree branch and a little girl was killed in a car wreck brought on by the signal lights being out (these f’n idiots think if there is no light they have the right-of-way…both ways). The missing guy either jumped or fell into… Read more »

Radical Redneck
Radical Redneck
Guest
August 28, 2011 04:42

Been up all night at work. So far this storm seems like quite the dud although the high tides won’t be in until 0800 EDT. Lots of rain but the wind hasn’t been noteworthy at all :em01:

angrywebmaster
Member
August 28, 2011 05:14

The Lone Haranguer @ #: Yes I saw that as well, but not the comments. I wrote my thoughts and posted them last night. Then I read a book. The only reasons I can think of for Obonehead to leave his vacation early are: 1) The Secret Service told him he was leaving. 2) His golf date canceled due to… Read more »

angrywebmaster
Member
August 28, 2011 05:16

And as an aside, The rain is finally picking up in NH :em06:

LC FX Phillips
LC FX Phillips
Guest
August 28, 2011 06:29

It has not been quite the biblical event it was portended to be by the local Philadelphia news and the grandstanding public officials trying to look competent. . It must be a big event though as they dragged playboy weatherman John Bolaris out of bed to report on it this morning. That being said there is much flooding (urban and… Read more »

angrywebmaster
Member
August 28, 2011 06:38

Seen on twitter:

Bloomberg urges New Yorkers to beware the power of Hurricane Irene – Los Angeles Times

To which New Yorkers respond:
Citizens urge Bloomberg beware the power of New Yorkers.
:em07:

FYI
Rain and wind picking up a bit in southern NH

LC Trooper THX1138, Imperial Gadget Geek
LC Trooper THX1138, Imperial Gadget Geek
Guest
August 28, 2011 10:49

i have to say, we’re not terribly impressed so far.

angrywebmaster
Member
August 28, 2011 11:30

*grumble*
Large branch down in the back yard. Part of it is wedged in the fence. I’ll need to do some cutting, and that fence will need to be replaced.

Another expense I can do without.
:em08:

A little water in the cellar, but it’s just saying hello as it passes through to flood the neighbors cellar.
:em05:

MasterGuns Imperial Swampmaster
MasterGuns Imperial Swampmaster
Guest
August 30, 2011 16:15

The talk show hosts and everyone can joke all they want about Irene the giant rain storm. It came ashore in Eastern NC and hung around for 14 hours………we had the wind and the rain. She was only a little Cat1/Cat2 wannabee but she slapped us hard. I lost all of my apple trees, all of my pear trees, my… Read more »

LibraryGryffon
Guest
August 31, 2011 16:28

Living in Southeastern CT, we are very lucky to be in the western half of Groton, covered by the local utility co. They had virtually all of us back on line within 36/48 hours of losing power, The other half of the town, with CL&P is still waiting for them to come and supervise the removal of trees which tangled… Read more »

LibraryGryffon
Guest
August 31, 2011 17:30

Update: the tree blocking my parents is gone! They aren’t holding out any hopes for power until the weekend at the very earliest. We are very thankful we didn’t get the rain this time. I also heard that one of the reasons clean up took so long to get going was that they needed pictures of everything to convince the… Read more »

GhengisKhat
GhengisKhat
Guest
September 1, 2011 16:50

MasterGuns Imperial Swampmaster @ #:

Very sorry about your trees! That’s just painful ))<;