There’s a Bad Wind on the Rise

Now that Irene has officially made landfall, it’s time for our calm, collected and utterly unemotional Hurricane Response Team to send a public announcement to the northeastern provinces of the Empire:

*** WEATHER ALERT FOR THE NORTHEAST FOLLOWS *** TO LCS OF THE NORTHEAST, GET THE FLYING EVERLOVING FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!! *** TRANSMISSION ENDS ***

They’re nothing if not succinct and to the point.

No, a Cat 1 is not just a tiny little fart with nothing to worry about, in spite of what you may have convinced yourselves. Particularly not when it hits an area with little to no experience of what to expect. Yes, we know that you’ve heard numerous examples of people on the east coast of Florida and the Gulf Coast to the south hanging in there and toughing it out while living to tell the tale. Most of the time. Sometimes they earn a Darwin Award or two as well.

But they know what to expect since they’ve likely been through a couple of them before. They know the structural integrity of their surroundings, the expected reach of tidal surges etc. and they still manage to get it wrong on occasion.

You don’t have that experience, so kindly do us all a favor and stay safe instead. There is nothing “cowardly” about jumping out of the way when a freight train is coming down the tracks that you’re standing on.

Err on the side of caution and, above all, stay safe. Please.

Hang in there.

Thatisall.

26 comments

  1. 1
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    Yer Majestyness, I think your warning to our LCs is not necessary. If they were too stupid to get the hell out of the way of a hurricane, then they were probably stupid enough to vote for Obama, and therefore probably not intelligent enough to be a reader/commenter of this blog.

  2. 2
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I’m in NH and it has just started raining. I’ve already laid in supplies of beer, pizza, and lottery tickets. I’m all set for the Big Wind of 2011. :em07:

    However, I don’t know if any of us will be ready for the Great BlowHards of 2012. :em08:

    No I’m not taking this storm seriously. I’ve seen worse, usually when Algore is shooting his mouth off.

    My take on this:
    It’s the end of the world as we know it…

  3. 3
    Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan growls and barks:

    There is an old proverb that says “During a storm you seek shelter under a tree and not the clouds”

  4. 4
    LC Draco growls and barks:

    I am just waiting til it hits New York!!

  5. 5
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Draco @ #:
    Well, the town does need an enema after all. :em01:

  6. 6
    LC Trooper THX1138, Imperial Gadget Geek growls and barks:

    the wife, apprentice, and i are battened down in the capital region of ny, with water, a gas stove, lighters, lights, and all manner of supplies at the ready. expecting something like el nino + santa anas in one day.

  7. 7
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    I’m so concerned and frightened about this world ending storm that here, on the Outer Banks of the Binjo Ditch known as the Potomac that I took the following necessary precautions.

    1. I turned off that maroon known as Shepard Smith.
    2. Took a shower
    3. Took a nap
    4. Fed the fucking kat
    5. And finally my most important preparation for this End of Days…I made the most delicious Buffalo Wings for dinner.

  8. 8
    LC R6 growls and barks:

    Fox news reporter to East Coast resident: “What will you do?”

    East Coast resident: “All we can do now is pray.”

    Fox news reporter: “Well, you could get in your car and LEAVE!”

    East Coast resident: “Oh. Well there is that.”

    Darwinism at its best.

    :em05:

  9. 9
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I just looked outside. It’s stopped raining. Looks like Irene’s promises, much like Obama’s, don’t amount to a fart in the wind. :em07:

  10. 10
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    LC Light29ID @ #:
    I did my laundry, read a book, ate some authentic Chinese food made by my authentic Chinese wife and surfed nicedoggie.net
    :em01:

  11. 11
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    Dedication to duty.

    Courtesy of Ace of Spades HQ.

  12. 12

    NOW I believe this storm is gonna be a bad one.

    Geraldo is standing outside and his hair is wet…….

    IT’S THE APOCALYPSE!!!!!

    :em07:

  13. 13
    Lady H growls and barks:

    I’m telling ya, based on years of experience, if Jim Cantore of TWC is there, it will likely be Doom for you. (Last seen in Battery Park, NYC, btw.)

    RR, you had better stay safe. Your unsavory links have lots of fans around the world, I think. (And they’re afraid to admit it, but they LOVE them!) :em05:

  14. 14
    The Lone Haranguer growls and barks:

    Don’t worry, everything is under control now. The Obasm has taken charge! :em02:

    The best part isn’t the banal article itself, but the comments, like this one:

    Thank Alla that we have a truly fearless leader who is not afraid to stand in the face of Hurricanepalooza, give a speech, and make the godless storm move away from his voting base. I wish that I could bear his child.

    :em05:

  15. 15
    LC Darth Scoundrel growls and barks:

    Last I heard 2 dead and 1 missing in NC due to Irene: one was hit by a tree branch and a little girl was killed in a car wreck brought on by the signal lights being out (these f’n idiots think if there is no light they have the right-of-way…both ways). The missing guy either jumped or fell into a river, they haven’t found him one way or the other so they don’t know if he’s dead or missing. There was also a guy that had a heart attack while he was nailing up some plywood and another who ran off the road and hit a tree, but they don’t know if those two can be attributed to the storm or not.
    Other than that, down power lines and flooding are the worst things we have between the I-95 corridor and the coast. Here in Raleigh we got lots of needed rain and a bit of un-needed wind, the power went out a couple of times but the longest it was out was about an hour or so, the rest were just blinks.
    Thoughts and prayers to you NE Rotties who are in the storm’s path. If you don’t need to be out and about don’t be. (With that being said, I went to a friends house to help him put suspension on his ’72 ‘stang all day during the hurricane, but like I said all we got was a lot of rain.)

  16. 16
    Radical Redneck growls and barks:

    Been up all night at work. So far this storm seems like quite the dud although the high tides won’t be in until 0800 EDT. Lots of rain but the wind hasn’t been noteworthy at all :em01:

  17. 17
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    The Lone Haranguer @ #:

    Yes I saw that as well, but not the comments. I wrote my thoughts and posted them last night. Then I read a book.
    The only reasons I can think of for Obonehead to leave his vacation early are:

    1) The Secret Service told him he was leaving.
    2) His golf date canceled due to the rain.
    :em07:

  18. 18
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    And as an aside, The rain is finally picking up in NH :em06:

  19. 19
    LC FX Phillips growls and barks:

    It has not been quite the biblical event it was portended to be by the local Philadelphia news and the grandstanding public officials trying to look competent. :em02: .

    It must be a big event though as they dragged playboy weatherman John Bolaris out of bed to report on it this morning.

    That being said there is much flooding (urban and stream) and downed trees and wires. Doesn’t look much different than an autumn Nor’easter. Of course we have the advantage of having a sand bar between us and the hurricane…it’s called New Jersey.

    The thing made landfall at Little Egg Harbor NJ and was headed due north according to the local FOX station. That would be a direct hit on NYC. I hope to God it doesn’t for many reasons but mostly so we don’t have to watch that preening megalomaniac Nanny Bloomberg pretending to be in charge

    I mean there are still snow covered streets in outer boroughs for God’s sake.

  20. 20
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Seen on twitter:

    Bloomberg urges New Yorkers to beware the power of Hurricane Irene – Los Angeles Times

    To which New Yorkers respond:
    Citizens urge Bloomberg beware the power of New Yorkers.
    :em07:

    FYI
    Rain and wind picking up a bit in southern NH

  21. 21
    LC Trooper THX1138, Imperial Gadget Geek growls and barks:

    i have to say, we’re not terribly impressed so far.

  22. 22
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    *grumble*
    Large branch down in the back yard. Part of it is wedged in the fence. I’ll need to do some cutting, and that fence will need to be replaced.

    Another expense I can do without.
    :em08:

    A little water in the cellar, but it’s just saying hello as it passes through to flood the neighbors cellar.
    :em05:

  23. 23
    MasterGuns Imperial Swampmaster growls and barks:

    The talk show hosts and everyone can joke all they want about Irene the giant rain storm.

    It came ashore in Eastern NC and hung around for 14 hours………we had the wind and the rain.

    She was only a little Cat1/Cat2 wannabee but she slapped us hard.

    I lost all of my apple trees, all of my pear trees, my cherry tree, both pecan trees, and 17 assorted other trees.

    I lost the roof from the yotes pen and the roof from my shed.

    I am posting this from New Bern Public Library since all I have at the house is dialup and my phone line is on the ground.

    We may have power back in a few days.

    Do not joke about Irene………some of us got really slammed………Pamlico County probably hardest……Craven County also got hammered.

    But we’re in flyover country so we don’t count………at least in the news.

    BTW…….Morehead City/Atlantic Beach fishing piers are either all gone or badly damaged.

    Remember, a few years ago, a little girl named Isabel cut Hatteras Island in half.

    Just saying gang………

    Semper Fi

  24. 24
    LibraryGryffon growls and barks:

    Living in Southeastern CT, we are very lucky to be in the western half of Groton, covered by the local utility co. They had virtually all of us back on line within 36/48 hours of losing power, The other half of the town, with CL&P is still waiting for them to come and supervise the removal of trees which tangled with lines on the way down. And then they might get around to getting power up by the weekend. Maybe. School opening has been put off till next week in the hopes that we’ll have all our buildings on line by then.

    CL&P has the nerve to tell us that they are prioritizing town centers/business districts first after hospitals, and before general residential. But Litchfield county has more line workers than the East half of the state, and right now none of their towns are reporting more than 10% outages. We still have two towns with 100% without power. And all they can say is “We’ll get to eastern Connecticut eventually”. My parents have had no power, meaning no water either since they have a well, since Saturday night, and as of noon today no one had even come to look at the tree which has blocked their road along with taking down all power, cable, and phone lines. I should add that this is a dead end road. Thankfully they can get out over a dirt access drive through private property at the other end, but most emergency vehicles don’t know about it, and wouldn’t be able to find the other end anyway.

    Needless to say CL&P aren’t making any friends, and I foresee a lot of local utility companies starting up in the next few years.

  25. 25
    LibraryGryffon growls and barks:

    Update: the tree blocking my parents is gone! They aren’t holding out any hopes for power until the weekend at the very earliest. We are very thankful we didn’t get the rain this time.

    I also heard that one of the reasons clean up took so long to get going was that they needed pictures of everything to convince the feds that we really had had a disaster. After the heavy rains and flooding last spring, when several bridges were washed away, the state apparently lost out on disaster aid, because we didn’t have “proof” of how bad it was, having actually started fixing problems as soon as we could rather than waiting for Uncle Sam to come wandering by. I suppose Vermont won’t have too much trouble as a lot of their flood damage was captured on camera as it happened. Or will the feds demand official government photos, rather than just what us poor shmucks on the receiving end can provide?

  26. 26
    GhengisKhat growls and barks:

    MasterGuns Imperial Swampmaster @ #:

    Very sorry about your trees! That’s just painful ))<;