And the Earth Opened Up and Swallowed Them

Except it didn’t, unfortunately.

Upon hearing the news of the earthquake up near DC we immediately had two thoughts. “We pray that no actual human beings were harmed as a result and may G-d help those who were” and “pity that Congress wasn’t in session and it wasn’t a giant hole opening in the ground under them and sucking them straight into Hell where they belong.”

In that order.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t their satanic master calling them home, so all we’re left with is extending our prayers to those who suffered injury as a result of the quake.

Which is important enough.

It just means that there was no silver lining, ‘s all.

Thatisall.

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lc purple raider
lc purple raider
August 24, 2011 00:02

Like I told Treacher. as an experienced earthquake rider, head to your doorway of choice, and have a triple Scotch afterward.

If there were any injuries, Prayers sent.

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
August 24, 2011 00:15

I’ll go with the option B for the thoughts there, Sire. :em03:

Sir Fresh Sign
Sir Fresh Sign
August 24, 2011 00:40

5.8 is nothing to a Bay Arean

FrankOK
FrankOK
August 24, 2011 00:46

I’m afraid I’d have great difficulty offering any prayers for Washington, DC – nothing’s there but prostitutes and politicians – that dividing line is quite slim to non-existant, anyway. OK – I’ll say a prayer for the whores. I’m really not that unfeeling … and for whatever good people might be there. I was hoping for a joint session being… Read more »

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
August 24, 2011 01:36

FrankOK @ # 4: Truth. :em03:

LC Fei Long
LC Fei Long
August 24, 2011 01:49

It is possible the Pentagon was built close to the capital of our nation as insurance:em03:

Elephant Man
Elephant Man
August 24, 2011 02:08

In California you have the San Andreas fault causing earthquakes.

In Washington D.C. you have the Bush’s fault causing earthquakes.

😆

SoCalOilMan, K.o.E.
SoCalOilMan, K.o.E.
August 24, 2011 04:44

When I heard about it hours after it happened (working night shift again) and heard it was a whopping 5.8, my first thought was “too bad it wasn’t a real quake and the whole place slid into the sea”. A couple of lines borrowed from Bob Parks site: ?”I survived the quake of 2011 and all I got was laughed… Read more »

ICD
ICD
August 24, 2011 06:52

I work and live on the outskirts of D.C.; the quake was a whole lot of nothing. The beer got a little shaken, but we just switched to hard liquor.


Glad you made an exception for the whores, we appreciate it.

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
August 24, 2011 07:28

FrankOK @ #: I’m afraid I’d have great difficulty offering any prayers for Washington, DC – nothing’s there but prostitutes and politicians – that dividing line is quite slim to non-existant, anyway. I beg to differ! There’s a huge military community here, and we at the DoD appreciate any good thoughts and prayers, and we don’t appreciate being compared to… Read more »

Bones
Bones
August 24, 2011 07:39

It’s just G_D getting the ground all loosened up so that the little gulley-washer coming up that way can really wash all the fecal matter strewn about down the chesapeake bay. Glad it ain’t coming this way anymore. :em05:

FrankOK
FrankOK
August 24, 2011 09:22

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch @ #:
Now dammit Miss Nikki – I didn’t say all and I did make exception for the whores and whatever good people are there, meaning our military – I’m not totally heartless, you know.

FrankOK
FrankOK
August 24, 2011 09:25

Bones says:

It’s just G_D getting the ground all loosened up so that the little gulley-washer coming up that way can really wash all the fecal matter strewn about down the chesapeake bay. Glad it ain’t coming this way anymore.

Agreed – the crabs and oysters have to eat too.
:em05:

Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
August 24, 2011 11:01

For Pete’s sake. A 5.8 is nothin’. As was mentioned on an earlier thread, when the New Madrid breaks loose, so will all hell. Heard this am that only “essential personnel” were reporting for work in D.C. If it can run on just “essential personnel,” then what are the rest of them for? To hear the talking heads, you’d think… Read more »

Lady H
Lady H
August 24, 2011 11:03

Felt it down here in South Carolina.

It was my first and unfortunately I thought it was kinda cool. :em05:

Virago
Virago
August 24, 2011 11:57

My 1st thought – 5.8 is nothing, I live on the San Andreas. Then I realized that unlike the west, where we actually retrofit for earthquakes, the east I would imagine does not. My second thought, it was a shame it wasn’t a 10.5 under Congress, but then they are out and about for break in August. It is a… Read more »

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator
August 24, 2011 12:59

PERRY/RUBIO 2012

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
August 24, 2011 13:15

I read one somewhere bitching the epicenter was 87 miles off and 4.1 short. The answer to that was “Ever heard of a ranging shot”. :em05:

August 24, 2011 15:57

Guys…it was the Founding Fathers rolling over in their graves…..

LC Random Numbers
LC Random Numbers
August 24, 2011 16:21

One wag at the Examiner commented that it was Obama’s ego crashing down. I pointed out that there are two problems with that theory. 1. If Obama’s ego were to crash, it would take out the entire eastern seaboard and rumblings would be felt in Sydney. The massive disaster would dwarf the dinosaur killer. But we don’t have to worry… Read more »

Draven32
Draven32
August 24, 2011 19:39

I’d like to point out that the epicenter was in rural Virginia about 20 miles where I lived as a teenager. Anyone in DC probably thought it was just The Anointed One’s two 1.1 million dollar buses rolling by.

LC Random Numbers
LC Random Numbers
August 24, 2011 20:26

Draven32 says:

I’d like to point out that the epicenter was in rural Virginia about 20 miles where I lived as a teenager. Anyone in DC probably thought it was just The Anointed One’s two 1.1 million dollar Canadian buses rolling by.

FIFY

Draven32
Draven32
August 24, 2011 22:34

well, manufactured in Canada, but finished and outfitted (at reportedly half the cost of each one) in TN

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
August 24, 2011 22:54

I have it on good authority that…… :em03:

this guy is responsible for the whole thing