I Am Getting Seriously Pissed Here

Which would explain, in case anybody still cares enough to be wondering, why the everloving fuck His Imperial Majesty hasn’t exactly been prolific in his postings as of late.

Thank G-d my underpaid, overworked staff still find it within themselves to put something up here or this place would be as dead as Hillary Clinton’s crotch.

So why am I getting pissed? I’m glad you asked, or didn’t as the case might be, I’m going to vent anyway.

You know about the transmission that was blown that Sam Pack Ford on I-35 sold me, fucking lemon factory, assuring me that nothing was wrong with that vehicle, right? Well, that was 3,000 miles ago and anybody telling me that a mechanic, an actual mechanic as much as doing a test drive in a car with a blown torque converter without noticing is a normal thing, well… Go fuck yourself and go back to school.

That’s been fixed. I’m fine with that. My tranny is a race car now and, apart from my being pissed off at being blown off by Sam Pack and their sales director who promised me that he’d call back and never did, I’m cool. I just won’t do business with those pricks anymore and that means, right now, that they lost $6,500 worth of insurance paid body work right away. I don’t know how their business model works, but they might want to look into a different one because, no matter which way I look at it, I can’t see a win for them in there.

What I’m not thrilled about, what’s pissing me off big time, is the other repairs that I’ve had done which, at this point, have been an utter waste of time and money, neither of which I have in great abundance.

I HAD a car with a tranny that needed rebuilding and an overhaul. What I have now is a car that spews anti-freeze all over creation and a compressor that is lucky to push out air that is 85 degrees “cold.”

And this is about $3,000 worth of “repairs” later. The tranny I’m cool with, it works like a champ now, but I’m getting a little bit miffed about the rest of it.

Spending every fucking weekend of mine at the shop isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, and I’ve been doing just that for a month and a half now. So if I haven’t been able to post anything, that’s why. I have to sleep sometime.

First, we hang all the lawyers. Second, I suggest that we rape, mutilate and burn all the mechanics.

Fuck. Them. All. (Present company excluded).

And may their families be fucked to the seventh generation.

Thatisall.

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LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut

WISKEY TANGO FOXTROT? A couple of douche bags that probably shouldn’t be working on a lawn mower and your gonna take me out with em? What year was the car? cause the anti freeze leak is probably the upper intake plenum, made of plastic, and probably in Mexico rotts out on those causing massive coolant leaks. Be merciful upon us… Read more »

LC Roguetek
LC Roguetek

ok, so, speaking as a mechanic who’s going to be in your area soon, you’ll pardon me if I rescind my offer to service your vehicle.

LC LOBO
LC LOBO

Yeah, thanks for that . I’ll not lay finger to your car myself.

LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut

Emperor Misha I says:

but I hope that you know what I mean.

SURE DO, just thought I’d bust your balls a bit

LC Darth Scoundrel
LC Darth Scoundrel

A good mechanic is certainly a treasure, too many of these automotive techs these days are just glorified parts replacers who don’t know how to troubleshoot anything that doesn’t have a trouble code associated with it. Look at their confuzzled faces when you bring them something old enough to not have an OBD II port to plug in to…

LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondent
LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondent

A good mechanic is certainly a treasure, too many of these automotive techs these days are just glorified parts replacers who don’t know how to troubleshoot anything that doesn’t have a trouble code associated with it. Look at their confuzzled faces when you bring them something old enough to not have an OBD II port to plug in to… Ain’t… Read more »

Elephant Man
Elephant Man

All this car trouble talk makes me nostalgic for the very first vehicle I ever owned. A 74 Camaro with a straight 6 engine and lots of room to work under the hood.. An engine that was so easy to work on that a chimpanzee could repair it. Even a “mechanically challenged” person like myself rarely had to get help… Read more »

Draven32
Draven32

Yeah i was gonna say the same thing.. odds are, that shop employs six or seven “ASE-certified technicians” :em08: and one mechanic. To a man most technicians are mystified by transmission problems because to the (to borrow Tam’s term) magic elf box can’t tell them what is wrong with one.

Darth Venomous
Darth Venomous

As for a good man in the area, I’d not only pay for the parts and the barbecue, I’d happily throw in booze and my first born too. It’s getting to be damn hard to find an honest man these days and you just cannot appreciate one too much if you do. Sire, there is (or at least, there used… Read more »

LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut

LC Darth Scoundrel @ #:8

Can I get an Amen from the bobbleheads?

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

First, we hang all the lawyers. Second, I suggest that we rape, mutilate and burn all the mechanics.

Fuck. Them. All. (Present company excluded).

And may their families be fucked to the seventh generation.

Thatisall.

Careful boss. I said something similar (about the TechWeenie) and was excoriated for it.

Sir Fresh Sign
Sir Fresh Sign

i’m certain we here in San Francisco can spare a few “tranny’s” there are plenty to go around.. and they are a protected class…

Elephant Man
Elephant Man

LC Gladiator @ #:

I think he already did get excoriated (see comments 2 and 3) but in a subtle and good natured way.

He is The Emperor, y’know….. 😀

LC Gladiator
LC Gladiator

Elephant Man growls and barks:
July 30, 2011 at 3:42 pm

LC Gladiator @ #:

I think he already did get excoriated (see comments 2 and 3) but in a subtle and good natured way.

He is The Emperor, y’know….. 😀

you know EM, i might just go into HELL for Misha.as opposed to DJ who I would GLADLY send to Hell

Terrapod
Terrapod

Misha – as a self trained mechanic out of necessity (poor college student back in the day) the best thing to do with this kind of thing is take a deep breath and take a good look at the beast yourself with a manual for minor guidance. Leaking coolant in volume is usually easy to trace to the source. Ford… Read more »

LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard

I have a heapin’ helpin’ of crow I need to figure out how to chow down on

Here you go, yer Majestyness. :em01:

Terrapod
Terrapod

All’s well that ends well, unitl someone f*cks up again. I think that was the line from Candide?!!! :em03:

Sire, sometimes you just have to sit back on the porch, pour a glass of good smooth bourbon (not that vodka shit), get a BB gun, say “Aahhh Fuck It All” and start using the neighborhood kids for target practice.

It’sa great stress reliever (until the cops show up then it’s a different story).

:em01:

LC Roguetek
LC Roguetek

Apology accepted, Sire. Thank you.

St. Bernard
St. Bernard

Sire, sometimes you just have to sit back on the porch, pour a glass of good smooth bourbon (not that vodka shit), get a BB gun, say “Aahhh Fuck It All” and start using the neighborhood kids for target practice. I prefer to sit on a hotel balcony off of Sunset Blvd. with a pitcher of Vodka & tonic and… Read more »

readerjp
readerjp

This is such a GUY topic.

crow I need to figure out how to chow down on, Yeah, but it was cheap crow, Sire,,,the best kind. Not a cent. Excellent, the heirs would become ill tempered crusing about in a sauna. Not to mention the empress and of course, the emperor…. Then again, I somehow suspect, due to your famous genteel bedside manner…..it may have been… Read more »

LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.
LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.
Lady M-ITT™-Imperial Sniper G.L.O.R
Lady M-ITT™-Imperial Sniper G.L.O.R

We all have to go off the deep end when things seem grimmest Sire. Sometimes that’s what it takes to help keep things in true perspective. When we convince ourselves things are at their worst…something always happens to prove they are just a bit better than first realized. Trust me…I’ve had to go off the deep end so many times… Read more »

HoundOfDoom
HoundOfDoom

Dude, you are just not good @ buying used cars. Swallow whatever you have to next time and buy a new one. Warranties are good to have for someone w/your luck.

LC Darth Scoundrel
LC Darth Scoundrel

HoundOfDoom says: Dude, you are just not good @ buying used cars. Swallow whatever you have to next time and buy a new one. Warranties are good to have for someone w/your luck. Which reminds me, I need to go burn off a set of tires on the ‘stang because my gas n’ go warranty buys tires for two years…at… Read more »

LC Panzermann
LC Panzermann

Emperor Misha I says: Please understand, I come from a country where a Corolla is a status symbol and where any aspirations to ever own a mean piece of road machinery is just a pipe dream. It’s personal. This is my slice of the American Dream and I love it. You won’t believe how much that resonates with me. Coming… Read more »

emily_nelson
emily_nelson

I don’t know if you want to come to central Plano but, the ever awesome (and overworked) SDN takes the family truck to City Garage. I’d recommend buying a Nissan. They seem to run real well. Our truck is over 10 years old and still drives excellently.

Excuse this female type question: What the heck is an Interceptor?

I’m no fan of Wikipedia, but this gives a general explination. Enhanced suspension, different, more powerful engines available…one I rode in once, as a guest, was a fire breathing monster…others more sedate but none of them have a problem getting on a freeway. And sometimes it’s nice to have a push bar….a good rig all round, lots of room for… Read more »

LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut

emily_nelson says: What the heck is an Interceptor? A Police Interceptor…think The Blues Brothers. Elwood ” it’s got a cop motor,a 440 cubic inch plant, it’s got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks, it’s a model made before catalytic converters so it’ll run good on regular gas, So what do you say, is t the new Bluesmobile or what? Jake,… Read more »

LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.
LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.

Orwin,, check the brake rotors,, I think they’re a bigger diameter too.
The “Interceptor” package is a lot like the towing-package with a speed-centric setting in the chip, but no tow hitch.

LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut

LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech @ #:
38

Nope…all crown vics use the same diamater rotor, no difference between Misha’s ride and your grandma’s grocery getter

Different years use different diameters, ’95-97 11.45″, ’98-02 12.44″ , and ’03-11 12.01″

Sorry, Work for NAPA..I’m a parts geek, with a computer catalog in front of me

LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.
LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech, Imperial Photographer, K.o.E.

Yup, the rotors on my ’96 are among them,, thass why I figured other years might be too..
And,, never apologize for updating my info’. Thanks!