I Am Getting Seriously Pissed Here

Which would explain, in case anybody still cares enough to be wondering, why the everloving fuck His Imperial Majesty hasn’t exactly been prolific in his postings as of late.

Thank G-d my underpaid, overworked staff still find it within themselves to put something up here or this place would be as dead as Hillary Clinton’s crotch.

So why am I getting pissed? I’m glad you asked, or didn’t as the case might be, I’m going to vent anyway.

You know about the transmission that was blown that Sam Pack Ford on I-35 sold me, fucking lemon factory, assuring me that nothing was wrong with that vehicle, right? Well, that was 3,000 miles ago and anybody telling me that a mechanic, an actual mechanic as much as doing a test drive in a car with a blown torque converter without noticing is a normal thing, well… Go fuck yourself and go back to school.

That’s been fixed. I’m fine with that. My tranny is a race car now and, apart from my being pissed off at being blown off by Sam Pack and their sales director who promised me that he’d call back and never did, I’m cool. I just won’t do business with those pricks anymore and that means, right now, that they lost $6,500 worth of insurance paid body work right away. I don’t know how their business model works, but they might want to look into a different one because, no matter which way I look at it, I can’t see a win for them in there.

What I’m not thrilled about, what’s pissing me off big time, is the other repairs that I’ve had done which, at this point, have been an utter waste of time and money, neither of which I have in great abundance.

I HAD a car with a tranny that needed rebuilding and an overhaul. What I have now is a car that spews anti-freeze all over creation and a compressor that is lucky to push out air that is 85 degrees “cold.”

And this is about $3,000 worth of “repairs” later. The tranny I’m cool with, it works like a champ now, but I’m getting a little bit miffed about the rest of it.

Spending every fucking weekend of mine at the shop isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, and I’ve been doing just that for a month and a half now. So if I haven’t been able to post anything, that’s why. I have to sleep sometime.

First, we hang all the lawyers. Second, I suggest that we rape, mutilate and burn all the mechanics.

Fuck. Them. All. (Present company excluded).

And may their families be fucked to the seventh generation.

Thatisall.

39 comments

  1. 1
    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing growls and barks:

    WISKEY TANGO FOXTROT?
    A couple of douche bags that probably shouldn’t be working on a lawn mower and your gonna take me out with em?

    What year was the car? cause the anti freeze leak is probably the upper intake plenum, made of plastic, and probably in Mexico rotts out on those causing massive coolant leaks.

    Be merciful upon us good ones, man I wish we lived closer, I would take care of this for parts and some good barbeque

  2. 2
    LC Roguetek growls and barks:

    ok, so, speaking as a mechanic who’s going to be in your area soon, you’ll pardon me if I rescind my offer to service your vehicle.

  3. 3
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    Yeah, thanks for that . I’ll not lay finger to your car myself.

  4. 4
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    My apologies. Present company obviously excluded, but my bad for not pointing that out.

    You’re right, I’m wrong on that one. It’s just that I’ve been bent over one too many barrels as of late and my infamous temper got the better of me. That is of course no excuse for my not being specific in my cursing, but I hope that you know what I mean. I have been known to wish hell upon lawyers too, but I’m sure that LC Blackiswhite knows that I’m not talking about him even though he is one.

  5. 5
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    As for a good man in the area, I’d not only pay for the parts and the barbecue, I’d happily throw in booze and my first born too. It’s getting to be damn hard to find an honest man these days and you just cannot appreciate one too much if you do.

  6. 6
    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I says:

    but I hope that you know what I mean.

    SURE DO, just thought I’d bust your balls a bit

  7. 7
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing says:

    SURE DO, just thought I’d bust your balls a bit

    Fair enough, my friend, and point well deserved and taken 🙂

    Great. Now my fucking balls are hurting too – lol.

  8. 8
    LC Darth Scoundrel growls and barks:

    A good mechanic is certainly a treasure, too many of these automotive techs these days are just glorified parts replacers who don’t know how to troubleshoot anything that doesn’t have a trouble code associated with it. Look at their confuzzled faces when you bring them something old enough to not have an OBD II port to plug in to…

  9. 9
    LC CiSSnarl5.7 Chariot Builder growls and barks:

    A good mechanic is certainly a treasure, too many of these automotive techs these days are just glorified parts replacers who don’t know how to troubleshoot anything that doesn’t have a trouble code associated with it. Look at their confuzzled faces when you bring them something old enough to not have an OBD II port to plug in to…

    Ain’t that a fact.

  10. 10
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    All this car trouble talk makes me nostalgic for the very first vehicle I ever owned.

    A 74 Camaro with a straight 6 engine and lots of room to work under the hood..

    An engine that was so easy to work on that a chimpanzee could repair it.

    Even a “mechanically challenged” person like myself rarely had to get help from a professional.

    Nowadays, I’m at the mercy of “automotive technicians”. 😀

  11. 11
    Draven32 growls and barks:

    Yeah i was gonna say the same thing.. odds are, that shop employs six or seven “ASE-certified technicians” :em08: and one mechanic. To a man most technicians are mystified by transmission problems because to the (to borrow Tam’s term) magic elf box can’t tell them what is wrong with one.

  12. 12
    Darth Venomous growls and barks:

    As for a good man in the area, I’d not only pay for the parts and the barbecue, I’d happily throw in booze and my first born too. It’s getting to be damn hard to find an honest man these days and you just cannot appreciate one too much if you do.

    Sire, there is (or at least, there used to be) a shop over in Plano, about a mile east of 75 on Plano Pkwy right around Jupiter Rd, that I’d almost trust with my life if it came to that. You might give them a shot.

  13. 13
    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing growls and barks:

    LC Darth Scoundrel @ #:8

    Can I get an Amen from the bobbleheads?

  14. 14
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    First, we hang all the lawyers. Second, I suggest that we rape, mutilate and burn all the mechanics.

    Fuck. Them. All. (Present company excluded).

    And may their families be fucked to the seventh generation.

    Thatisall.

    Careful boss. I said something similar (about the TechWeenie) and was excoriated for it.

  15. 15
    Sir Fresh Sign growls and barks:

    i’m certain we here in San Francisco can spare a few “tranny’s” there are plenty to go around.. and they are a protected class…

  16. 16
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    LC Gladiator @ #:

    I think he already did get excoriated (see comments 2 and 3) but in a subtle and good natured way.

    He is The Emperor, y’know….. 😀

  17. 17
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Elephant Man growls and barks:
    July 30, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    LC Gladiator @ #:

    I think he already did get excoriated (see comments 2 and 3) but in a subtle and good natured way.

    He is The Emperor, y’know….. 😀

    you know EM, i might just go into HELL for Misha.as opposed to DJ who I would GLADLY send to Hell

  18. 18
    Terrapod growls and barks:

    Misha – as a self trained mechanic out of necessity (poor college student back in the day) the best thing to do with this kind of thing is take a deep breath and take a good look at the beast yourself with a manual for minor guidance.

    Leaking coolant in volume is usually easy to trace to the source. Ford uses carbon steel crossover pipes in places where they should have used stainless or heavy rubber, don’t know why but this has usually been the cause for cars I have had to repair, failed pump seals are close second followed by worn/pinholed hoses. A rusted through freeze plug also comes to mind. Less likely a damaged radiator.

    These are sometimes difficult but not impossible to fix yourself. If you were not six frigging states away from me you could borrow one of the “extra” cars I keep around for backup. All my rides are well used (2001 or older) and you have to have a backup when you go this route.

    If the A/C was working and now does not, just add more freon or whatever the beast takes and see if that temporarily fixes the issue. Likely a leaking seal at the pump or one of the connections in the lines. As pressure drops too low, the sensor on the expansion chamber will not turn on the compressor and you get zero cooling.

    And yes, finding a good mechanic that knows his stuff is the holy grail. Good luck my friend.

  19. 19
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Elephant Man says:

    I think he already did get excoriated (see comments 2 and 3) but in a subtle and good natured way.

    I sure did, and well-deserved too. Nobody here ever holds back and that’s a Good Thing™. Every once in a while you need your willie slapped when you go off the deep end.

    As to the car, well don’t I feel stupid now? Turned out, after they’d rousted everybody out of bed to get my car done, that it wasn’t antifreeze at all, it was some leftover dye from the compressor job that had splashed all over the frame. No leaks anywhere and, I suppose to avoid having to see my grumpy face again – lol, they took the liberty to go over everything that possibly could leak with a fine-toothed comb since they had her opened anyway.

    The A/C? Well, they said there wasn’t nothing wrong that they could find so all they’d done was to flush the freon and re-charge it but whatever it was that they didn’t do sure seemed to work as it’s blowing 40 degree air now like a blizzard. It wasn’t yesterday, I can tell you that much for sure.

    I don’t know. What I do know is that everything’s numbah one, no charge, and that I have a heapin’ helpin’ of crow I need to figure out how to chow down on, having ungraciously and unfairly let go of both broadsides for no apparent reason at all.

    That’ll learn me…

    At least until I forget again, knowing me.

  20. 20
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    I have a heapin’ helpin’ of crow I need to figure out how to chow down on

    Here you go, yer Majestyness. :em01:

  21. 21
    Terrapod growls and barks:

    All’s well that ends well, unitl someone f*cks up again. I think that was the line from Candide?!!! :em03:

  22. 22
    LC Light29ID growls and barks:

    Sire, sometimes you just have to sit back on the porch, pour a glass of good smooth bourbon (not that vodka shit), get a BB gun, say “Aahhh Fuck It All” and start using the neighborhood kids for target practice.

    It’sa great stress reliever (until the cops show up then it’s a different story).

    :em01:

  23. 23
    LC Roguetek growls and barks:

    Apology accepted, Sire. Thank you.

  24. 24
    St. Bernard growls and barks:

    Sire, sometimes you just have to sit back on the porch, pour a glass of good smooth bourbon (not that vodka shit), get a BB gun, say “Aahhh Fuck It All” and start using the neighborhood kids for target practice.

    I prefer to sit on a hotel balcony off of Sunset Blvd. with a pitcher of Vodka & tonic and a paint gun and wait for the lowriders to cruise by.

    But that’s just me.

  25. 25
    readerjp growls and barks:

    This is such a GUY topic.

  26. 26
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    crow I need to figure out how to chow down on,

    Yeah, but it was cheap crow, Sire,,,the best kind. Not a cent. Excellent, the heirs would become ill tempered crusing about in a sauna. Not to mention the empress and of course, the emperor….
    Then again, I somehow suspect, due to your famous genteel bedside manner…..it may have been determined it was best to rectify the problem, whatever it took. Now be nice, Sire………….as much as it may pain you………. :em05: :em01: Glad you got your rig back, rigs are personal.

  27. 27
  28. 28

    We all have to go off the deep end when things seem grimmest Sire. Sometimes that’s what it takes to help keep things in true perspective. When we convince ourselves things are at their worst…something always happens to prove they are just a bit better than first realized.

    Trust me…I’ve had to go off the deep end so many times lately I’ve taken to wearing scuba gear on a regular basis. :em08:

  29. 29
    HoundOfDoom growls and barks:

    Dude, you are just not good @ buying used cars. Swallow whatever you have to next time and buy a new one. Warranties are good to have for someone w/your luck.

  30. 30
    LC Darth Scoundrel growls and barks:

    HoundOfDoom says:

    Dude, you are just not good @ buying used cars. Swallow whatever you have to next time and buy a new one. Warranties are good to have for someone w/your luck.

    Which reminds me, I need to go burn off a set of tires on the ‘stang because my gas n’ go warranty buys tires for two years…at about a grand a pop for all 4 ( 19″ Pirelli P-zeros)

  31. 31
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    HoundOfDoom says:

    Dude, you are just not good @ buying used cars. Swallow whatever you have to next time and buy a new one. Warranties are good to have for someone w/your luck.

    I tend to agree with you there but, and this is a big but, just where in the hell do you find a factory new Interceptor, especially now that they’ve stopped making them? Because I just ain’t squeezing myself into one of those anemic civilian rice cookers again ever. First P71 I ever owned stole my heart. For the first time in my life I had a car that I was actually comfortable in with plenty of space, a car worthy of being called a “car” with a lot of power and a shitload of steel surrounding me, a roaring, gas-guzzling V8 and, well… For the first time in my life, when I got into that first P71, I owned a car that I was actually proud to sit behind the wheel of, rather than just a piece of transportation.

    Please understand, I come from a country where a Corolla is a status symbol and where any aspirations to ever own a mean piece of road machinery is just a pipe dream. It’s personal. This is my slice of the American Dream and I love it.

    Of course, in the end, if I were to find myself in the shit again and in dire need of any sort of wheels, I’d gratefully drive anything that Providence would send in my direction but, then again, if I were in that situation a new car wouldn’t be in the cards anyway.

    And now, after interminable corrections to fix whatever the previous owners did to her, she’s just the way I want her and, now that she’s going to be babied by somebody who loves her, she’ll last a long, long time. No, she’s no longer the awesome deal that she was when I drove her off the lot, but she’s still an OK deal and, most importantly, more car than I’d ever thought I’d be able to call my own.

    I guess the thing is that she’s more than just a “car” to me. She and I have a history now.

    Sounds sappy, but I’m sure that gearheads will understand.

  32. 32
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    And thanks, Ogrrre, for the crow recipe. The most disturbing bit is that it sounds rather delicious, if you ask me.

    And thanks too, Roguetek, for understanding and bearing with me for being an insufferable prick. I’ll try to stick with precision guided munitions rather than indiscriminate carpet bombings in the future.

  33. 33
    LC Panzermann growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I says:

    Please understand, I come from a country where a Corolla is a status symbol and where any aspirations to ever own a mean piece of road machinery is just a pipe dream. It’s personal. This is my slice of the American Dream and I love it.

    You won’t believe how much that resonates with me. Coming from a place where owning a car was the sign that you made it to the middle class. Where even the young baker or hair dresser could own a small affordable car and drive them to their heart’s delight on the best roads in the world.

    Now we don’t make affordable cars anymore, thanks to the unions and stupid auto bosses. And we’re close to not being able to afford the fuel for them thanks to the eco talibans and their insistent taxes. We currently pay about EUR 1.65 per liter of unleaded, that’s roughly USD 8.80 per gallon… :em08:

  34. 34
    emily_nelson growls and barks:

    I don’t know if you want to come to central Plano but, the ever awesome (and overworked) SDN takes the family truck to City Garage. I’d recommend buying a Nissan. They seem to run real well. Our truck is over 10 years old and still drives excellently.

    Excuse this female type question: What the heck is an Interceptor?

  35. 35
  36. 36
    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing growls and barks:

    emily_nelson says:

    What the heck is an Interceptor?

    A Police Interceptor…think The Blues Brothers.

    Elwood ” it’s got a cop motor,a 440 cubic inch plant, it’s got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks, it’s a model made before catalytic converters so it’ll run good on regular gas, So what do you say, is t the new Bluesmobile or what?

    Jake, ” fix the cigarette lighter”

    :em05:

  37. 37

    Orwin,, check the brake rotors,, I think they’re a bigger diameter too.
    The “Interceptor” package is a lot like the towing-package with a speed-centric setting in the chip, but no tow hitch.

  38. 38
    Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing growls and barks:

    LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech @ #:
    38

    Nope…all crown vics use the same diamater rotor, no difference between Misha’s ride and your grandma’s grocery getter

    Different years use different diameters, ’95-97 11.45″, ’98-02 12.44″ , and ’03-11 12.01″

    Sorry, Work for NAPA..I’m a parts geek, with a computer catalog in front of me

  39. 39

    Yup, the rotors on my ’96 are among them,, thass why I figured other years might be too..
    And,, never apologize for updating my info’. Thanks!