Rough Sex is Bad for You

Thanks to LC Gregory:

REFUGIO, Texas — Investigators say a man has died while in the act of raping an elderly South Texas woman.

The Refugio County Sheriff’s Office identifies the man as 53-year-old Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez.

Roll over, Johnny Cash. “A Boy Named Isabel????” Still, it’d be a bitch getting the rhymes to work with that name.

…the 5-feet-7-inches tall, 230-to-250 pound man sneaked into the woman’s house and raped her at knifepoint. During the attack, he said he wasn’t feeling well, rolled over and died.

Did we mention that he was raping a 77-year-old grandma?

Obviously, we would have much preferred if grandma had stopped the attack by unloading a full cylinder of .357 Mag in his face, but we’ll take what we can get.

Thatisall.

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LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Warranty Expert
LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Warranty Expert

Well, my daddy left Mexico when I was three And he didn’t leave much for mi mama and me. Just this old sombrero and an old tortilla shell. Now I don’t blame him cuz he jumped the river And he weren’t much of a tasteful giver And he went along and named me “Isabel.” Now I got teased most of… Read more »

Cortillaen
Cortillaen

Instant karma wins again! Seriously, though, that whole pump-him-full-of-lead response, Misha? Nowhere near enough for rapists. I have a very specific “rehabilitation” process in mind for rapists and their enablers. It requires a sand-blaster, vinegar, sharp blade (preferably of machete-ish size), intense heat source, and a water pump, among other things. Restraints, naturally, are a must, and a medical attendant… Read more »

LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Warranty Expert
LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Warranty Expert

:em95: :em95: :em95: :em95:

FOIST!!!!!11!!ELEVEN!!!!

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.

This certainly constitutes a case of summoned by Your Lord to discuss what you be doin. This is not going to end well for Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez. Certainly not well, and if Authority be believed neither will it end. It will be condign justice if Sr. Gutierrez spends eternity getting what he was giving at his moment of passing on.

LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Warranty Expert
LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Warranty Expert

Thank you…thank you!!!

Weird Al, eat your fucking heart out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lc purple raider
lc purple raider

Response to LC LucysDaddy–Imperial Tire Provider @:

Damn, I’m in awe! :em93:

Elephant Man
Elephant Man

Response to Emperor Misha I @:

Don’t forget to start with a flash/bang grenade to the nutsack!

Like this guy!

LC Proud Infidel
LC Proud Infidel

Response to Elephant Man @:
I bet from here on, he’ll be known as “stubby” .
:em69:

As for rapists, they’re ALL better off dead, the same for child molesters!

LC Draco
LC Draco

This story just plays itself!!!

Southern Libertarian
Southern Libertarian

Karma is a bitch.

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher

Emperor Misha I says: My favorite, to be more specific, in those cases has always been the “tool shed” scenario: You find an old wooden shed that you don’t care all that much about. You then proceed to lock his Weiner into a vise that’s been bolted down and padlocked. After that, you carefully place a very rusty, very dull… Read more »

LC FX Phillips
LC FX Phillips

The most sublime and magnanimous Emperor Misha I says:

I like to leave the scum with a choice, in case they haven’t already figured out that what’s about to happen is absolutely and completely a result of their own actions.

Choice… it what makes America great!!! :em04:

LC HJ Caveman82952
LC HJ Caveman82952

One of my sisters was raped thirty-five years ago. You do not know what I would like to do……..something to do with pliers, toothpicks, a blowtorch and a scapel…….or better yet, let the women handle it. I’m sure they could come up with something………….

LC Roguetek
LC Roguetek

I’m all in favor of being exceptionally cruel to rapists, but given the number of bogus accusations of rape, let’s make extremely sure first. Anyone here remember the duke lacrosse players?

lc purple raider
lc purple raider

Response to LC Roguetek @:

By all means, let the accused prove his guilt or innocence.

I think they mean after twelve people find the asswipe guilty.

My personal favorite would be scalpel, blowtorch, tar, and a guerney with straps.

seagoon
seagoon

Stump hanging. I’ve mentioned it here before, and it is still my fave- here’s the explanation (set the wayback machine to 2005, Sherman) Back in the sticks where I grew up we had a punishment for rapists- stump hanging. First, wait until winter, then pay a visit to the man. Do it late at night, bring your friends, and shotguns-… Read more »

T
T

Seagoon – Are we relatives? I’m kinda partial to blowtorches – you know, the old gasoline kind. And plenty of “get acquainted” time.

But then fire ants is good too…

LC Proud Infidel
LC Proud Infidel

Blowtorch, SHIT, how ’bout a road flare, then everyone would call him “‘Ol Crispy” afterward!