Rough Sex is Bad for You

Thanks to LC Gregory:

REFUGIO, Texas — Investigators say a man has died while in the act of raping an elderly South Texas woman.

The Refugio County Sheriff’s Office identifies the man as 53-year-old Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez.

Roll over, Johnny Cash. “A Boy Named Isabel????” Still, it’d be a bitch getting the rhymes to work with that name.

…the 5-feet-7-inches tall, 230-to-250 pound man sneaked into the woman’s house and raped her at knifepoint. During the attack, he said he wasn’t feeling well, rolled over and died.

Did we mention that he was raping a 77-year-old grandma?

Obviously, we would have much preferred if grandma had stopped the attack by unloading a full cylinder of .357 Mag in his face, but we’ll take what we can get.

Thatisall.

20 comments

  1. 1
    LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Provider growls and barks:

    Well, my daddy left Mexico when I was three
    And he didn’t leave much for mi mama and me.
    Just this old sombrero and an old tortilla shell.

    Now I don’t blame him cuz he jumped the river
    And he weren’t much of a tasteful giver
    And he went along and named me “Isabel.”

    Now I got teased most of my life
    Had an old wetback try and make me his wife
    Seems my life was a living hell.

    Some chiquita would chuckle and I’d say “see ya”
    Some Paco would laugh and I’d bend a tortilla
    I tell ya, life ain’t easy for a boy named Isabel.

  2. 2
    Cortillaen growls and barks:

    Instant karma wins again!

    Seriously, though, that whole pump-him-full-of-lead response, Misha? Nowhere near enough for rapists. I have a very specific “rehabilitation” process in mind for rapists and their enablers. It requires a sand-blaster, vinegar, sharp blade (preferably of machete-ish size), intense heat source, and a water pump, among other things. Restraints, naturally, are a must, and a medical attendant to prevent early “departure” is advised. While this particular “rehabilitation” has been in mind for a number of years, it was recently codified and put in writing in the second page of comments here (the story there provides a bit of context, as well), in case anyone is curious. Granted, I was certainly angry when it was written, but I stand by it and likely always will. Rapists hold a special place in my heart, right next to mass-murdering scum, and are one of the very few classes of people, and I use that term exceedingly loosely, regarding whom I doubt I will ever be rid of most distinctly un-Christian pleasure at the thought of them burning in Hell for eternity. Some failings I may just have to live with.

  3. 3
    LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Provider growls and barks:

    :em95: :em95: :em95: :em95:

    FOIST!!!!!11!!ELEVEN!!!!

  4. 4
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    This certainly constitutes a case of summoned by Your Lord to discuss what you be doin.
    This is not going to end well for Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez. :em95: Certainly not well, and if Authority be believed neither will it end. :em95: It will be condign justice if Sr. Gutierrez spends eternity getting what he was giving at his moment of passing on. :em01:

  5. 5
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Response to LC LucysDaddy–Imperial Tire Provider @:

    Genius! Pure, bloody genius!

    I’m in awe here, seriously! *Applause!* :em04:

  6. 6
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Cortillaen says:

    Seriously, though, that whole pump-him-full-of-lead response, Misha? Nowhere near enough for rapists.

    Oh I couldn’t agree more! It was purely in the spirit of what’s the correct response when somebody busts down your door and tries to rape you. As in, “what do I do, right now?”

    Moving on to your scenario: “We have the rapist in custody and under control, now what do we do?” I am very much in tune with you and I have a very, VERY vivid imagination when it comes to do then. I like your general approach very much too.

    My favorite, to be more specific, in those cases has always been the “tool shed” scenario: You find an old wooden shed that you don’t care all that much about. You then proceed to lock his Weiner into a vise that’s been bolted down and padlocked. After that, you carefully place a very rusty, very dull knife next to the vise, walk out and set fire to the shed.

    Bleed to death or burn to death.

    I like to leave the scum with a choice, in case they haven’t already figured out that what’s about to happen is absolutely and completely a result of their own actions.

    But I’m evil that way.

  7. 7
    LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Provider growls and barks:

    Thank you…thank you!!!

    Weird Al, eat your fucking heart out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. 8
    lc purple raider growls and barks:

    Response to LC LucysDaddy–Imperial Tire Provider @:

    Damn, I’m in awe! :em93:

  9. 9
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    Response to Emperor Misha I @:

    Don’t forget to start with a flash/bang grenade to the nutsack!

    Like this guy!

  10. 10
    LC Proud Infidel growls and barks:

    Response to Elephant Man @:
    I bet from here on, he’ll be known as “stubby” .
    :em69:

    As for rapists, they’re ALL better off dead, the same for child molesters!

  11. 11
    LC Draco growls and barks:

    This story just plays itself!!!

  12. 12
    Southern Libertarian growls and barks:

    Karma is a bitch.

  13. 13
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I says:

    My favorite, to be more specific, in those cases has always been the “tool shed” scenario: You find an old wooden shed that you don’t care all that much about. You then proceed to lock his Weiner into a vise that’s been bolted down and padlocked. After that, you carefully place a very rusty, very dull knife next to the vise, walk out and set fire to the shed.

    Better a spoon.

  14. 14
    LC fxpcpa growls and barks:

    The most sublime and magnanimous Emperor Misha I says:

    I like to leave the scum with a choice, in case they haven’t already figured out that what’s about to happen is absolutely and completely a result of their own actions.

    Choice… it what makes America great!!! :em04:

  15. 15
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    One of my sisters was raped thirty-five years ago. You do not know what I would like to do……..something to do with pliers, toothpicks, a blowtorch and a scapel…….or better yet, let the women handle it. I’m sure they could come up with something………….

  16. 16
    LC Roguetek growls and barks:

    I’m all in favor of being exceptionally cruel to rapists, but given the number of bogus accusations of rape, let’s make extremely sure first. Anyone here remember the duke lacrosse players?

  17. 17
    lc purple raider growls and barks:

    Response to LC Roguetek @:

    By all means, let the accused prove his guilt or innocence.

    I think they mean after twelve people find the asswipe guilty.

    My personal favorite would be scalpel, blowtorch, tar, and a guerney with straps.

  18. 18
    seagoon growls and barks:

    Stump hanging. I’ve mentioned it here before, and it is still my fave- here’s the explanation (set the wayback machine to 2005, Sherman)

    Back in the sticks where I grew up we had a punishment for rapists- stump hanging. First, wait until winter, then pay a visit to the man. Do it late at night, bring your friends, and shotguns- makes for less arguments about his schedule being filled this week.

    Then, you remove his trousers and march him into the woods for a few klicks. When you get far enough away from people who might be disturbed by the sounds, you politely ask him to fell a tree at about waist height. (again, the shotguns keep things civil)

    When he’s done, sit him on the stump, feet just above the ground, and nail his balls to the wood with 3? staples.

    Say goodnight, and leave. If he’s brave and strong enough, he might be able to make it to help before bleeding/freezing to death- but he’s NEVER going to rape again.

    Ahh, when we were young….

  19. 19
    T growls and barks:

    Seagoon – Are we relatives? I’m kinda partial to blowtorches – you know, the old gasoline kind. And plenty of “get acquainted” time.

    But then fire ants is good too…

  20. 20
    LC Proud Infidel growls and barks:

    Blowtorch, SHIT, how ’bout a road flare, then everyone would call him “‘Ol Crispy” afterward!