Weiner Roast

In case you’re dying to know, we’re laughing our Imperial Gluteus Maximus off over stud-muffin liberal DemCong Anthony “The Bulge” Weiner having been caught twittering pictures of his limp Junior Weiner to a kid he was apparently obsessing over. Among other kids. He seems to have a certain fondness for underage chicks which, in all fairness, is par for the course for CongressCritters. After all, they’re more likely to believe that “8 inches” equals the distance between your eyes than actual grown women.

If you want a timeline, there’s a good one here. Saves us the trouble of summarizing what everybody has already said, not to mention the three hundred hat tips we’d have to issue.

Actually, the really fun thing here is that he apparently doesn’t know the difference between a private and a public tweet. But hey, who hasn’t ever found his or herself typing in something supremely embarrassing in the wrong chat window?

Of course, those of us who’ve ever done that didn’t immediately, or at least we should hope not, claim that we’d been “hacked” as an excuse, an excuse that, at this point, is about as tired as “the dog ate my homework.”

This extremely clever Rethugnican Hacker Operative apparently, if we’re to believe Weiner-Wiener’s story, was brilliant enough to post the embarrassing pic at a time when anybody who might have been paying attention was extremely likely to be utterly shitfaced in preparation for the long weekend and then, faced with dork-face Weiner’s 733+ H4x0r 5K|77z, had to relinquish control of the hacked account within minutes of having “hacked” into it.

Oh and then Wiener-Weiner, a CongressCritter with top secret clearance who had, allegedly, just had his online accounts hacked into, responded within in a mere 72 hours by… Hiring a lawyer to “explore his legal options?”

At this point, the cover-up is so ridiculously inept that we have to assume that the lawyer he’s “exploring options” with now is board certified in family law, because we have a feeling that his wife is talking to one of those right about now.

Did anybody ever explain to you, Weiner-Twat, that it’s not the fuck up that gets you, it’s the cover up?

Obviously not but hey, it’s all good. We all get to enjoy your flaming crash landing.

Once the Make Cover Media is forced to admit that there’s a story here, that is. If you’d been a Republican, effigies of you would already be burning in every newsroom in the nation.

You finally get to “spend more time with your family”, stud-muffin.

Every other weekend plus alternating holidays, that is.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thatisall.

P.S.: His Imperial Majesty saw the offending picture and, seriously, Tony “Salami”, you’re supposed to stick the tennis socks in your underoos before you take the picture. Just saying, is all.

41 comments

  1. 1

    Theres some VICIOUS commentary on it when you do a google search for WIENERGATE and then choose the ‘realtime’ option once you do your search .. some of the most vicious tweets that appear there are not suprisingly, from women :em01:

    This has to go down in history as one of the most spectacular self destructs in political history.

    KKKayinsane is strangely quiet on the issue.

  2. 2

    And from The Peoples Cube .. Humor

  3. 3
    LC Old Dog growls and barks:

    Victims call the Cops!

    Perpetrators call Lawyers! Guess who Weiner called? :em01: :em95: :em99:

  4. 4
    LC Gregory growls and barks:

    When I first read about this yesterday, I assumed it WAS a hack or something. Now, from more reading, well, this is just The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

    He’s going to have to resign from Congress over this, just like Barney Fag resigned back in the 80s when his live-in boyfriend was running a gay prostitution service out of the basement … or when Gerry Studds was caught coming onto an underage male page… oh, crap. Given his district, Cong. Oscar Meyer is gonna be with us a long, long time, I’m afraid. :em41:

  5. 5
    LC Jackboot IC/A growls and barks:

    You can’t believe my delight when this broke. Weiner-Dink is the most annoying, despicable lying, piece of shit imaginable. Every time I see him on FNC I want to send a .40 S&W SJHP through my beloved HD screen. Just on his personality alone, I can see him doing this. He’s a poster-boy for arrogance, and being a flaming liberal, he’s always the smartest guy in the room.

    This is just fucking, DEEELICIOUS.

    BUUUUWAAAAAAAHAAAHHHAAAAAAAA !

  6. 6
    nealinnevada growls and barks:

    Could this be the WeinerDude or is a case of a Weiner in a Weiner?

  7. 7
    Teufelhunden_JD growls and barks:

    Allyn,

    Since you’re always pressing other people for evidence when they make unsubstantiated assertions, care to back that one up? Because right now, the evidence (twitter stream immediately before and after are unhacked messages, girl previously called him her boyfriend, one of a very few non-DC insiders followed by Weiner, not following up with law enforcement, hacker sent only one message, hacker hacked verified yfrog account to post image, then sent link via twitter) seems to point to another congress critter caught with his pants down, a monthly occurrence in DC. I’m just wondering if you’re party to some information that we aren’t, or if you’ve entirely stopped using evidentiary support for your denial.

  8. 8
    hitnrun growls and barks:

    @DJ: A hack job. You can say that again.

    Oh, you meant the Twitter account, not the media head-turning. :em01:

    Oh well, at least you’re not blaming Breitbart, like Kos and whatshername from Salon. I wonder how long it will take them to reconcile their conspiracy theories with the fact that the putative “victim” refuses to make formal complaint to the myriad law enforcement agencies there to protect him.

    I’m sure it has nothing to do with the likelihood that said agencies might investigate for as long as 15 minutes before amassing enough evidence to charge him with making false statements to law enforcement.

  9. 9
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    DJ Allyn, ITW says:

    It is a hack job. A real good reason NOT to have a Twitter account.

    But hey don’t let a good hacking go to waste.

    That settles it then. If DJ says its not Weiners Weiner, it must not be. After all, Im SURE DJ has seen it.

  10. 10
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Teufelhunden_JD says:

    DJ. I’m just wondering if you’re party to some information that we aren’t, or if you’ve entirely stopped using evidentiary support for your denial.

    Im telling you , DJ has SEEN it

    .ROFLMAO

  11. 11
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Response to DJ Allyn, ITW @:

    FINALLY!! It has been revealed that DJ Allyn ITW stands for DJ Allyn ,Internet Tech WEINER

    Undisputed proof from the resident dick. /

    LOLOLOL

  12. 12
    LC Darth Scoundrel growls and barks:

    DJ Allyn, ITW says:

    It is a hack job. A real good reason NOT to have a Twitter account.
    But hey don’t let a good hacking go to waste.

    You know what happens when you stick your head in the sand?
    Your ass sticks up in the air.
    Good luck with that.

  13. 13
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    I can’t even go there. Something is blocking the ability to roast. Need a Rottie intervention.

  14. 14
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    I’m not blaming anyone. Yet. But it certainly won’t take long to find out who, when, and where. You can’t do anything online that doesn’t leave a fingerprint, or at least proves that it was a hack job. They may not catch the actual perpetrator, but they can easily prove where it didn’t come from.

    So, why isn’t Teeny Weenie screaming for the Feds to step in and investigate?

    Kinda odd don’t you think?

  15. 15
    hitnrun growls and barks:

    You can’t do anything online that doesn’t leave a fingerprint, or at least proves that it was a hack job.

    On that we agree. But to find something like that, first it has to be looked for by the relevant authorities. Those are the same authorities who could – in some crazy, crazy hypothetical universe – establish with the ease of Albert Pujols taking batting practice that the beleaguered victim was actually the perpetrator. And the same authorities who would immediately file charges upon making such a discovery.

    Call me crazy, but I don’t think said authorities are going to be called upon by Mr. Weiner for justice any time soon.

    Weiner might be able to buy off or charm some impressionable young Pro-Change hipsters at Facebook or Twitter to “confirm” a hack – no doubt he’s sniffing out that possibility now – but there’s no duping the FBI. Maybe if he was a Kennedy, but the story’s big enough now that I would doubt it even then.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    irish19 growls and barks:

    The thread on this over at American Spectator is very much fun.

  18. 18
    LC TerribleTroy growls and barks:

    This is shamelessly stolen from some anon commenter at another site….

    “I did not have TEXT with that women!”

  19. 19
    Radical Redneck growls and barks:

    Response to LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist @:

    KKKayinsane is strangely quiet on the issue.

    You knew that wouldn’t last :em69:

  20. 20
    Light29ID growls and barks:

    Response to Radical Redneck @:

    The dumb bitch is pissing off cops now. She’s going to piss a couple of them off at the wrong time and she’s going to get a mouth full of asphalt.

    btw I left her a little love from us :evil:

  21. 21
    lc purple raider growls and barks:

    The hacker of Weiners account was…

    Wait. For. It.

    Weiner.

  22. 22
    Alan K. Henderson growls and barks:

    Am I the only one here who winces at the phrase “Weiner hacker?”

  23. 23

    We all knew THIS was coming didnt we? :em02:

  24. 24
    Jerry growls and barks:

    Ace has been all over his since the beginning and has asked the BIG question over and over again: IF someone violated YOU, what’s the FIRST thing you would do? Huh, DJ? Wouldn’t you call the authorities? Wouldn’t he call the FBI? He didn’t because they would actually begin asking questions and would solve this in 37 seconds. Please, Stop defending this worthless POS. He’s “consulting with his attorney” instead. Anyone who defends this POS is FUBAR. Go over to Ace’s place and check out the Weiner threads over the last 3 or 4 days.

  25. 25
    Radical Redneck growls and barks:

    OT: check this out. Code Pinko scum at Jefferson Memorial ignore Park Police’s multiple warnings necessitating a righteous beatdown. Get lots of popcorn!

    Years ago we were taunting pro-abortion, anti-Pope pukes in Boston. They were aggressive and nasty and smelled bad like every other leftist. Cops came in to haul them away using generous, and delicious force. :em58:

    We got a large gaggle of us chanting “use your gun” to the cops. It’s a tragedy they didn’t listen :-(

    I’d kill to have video of that. Good, good times! :em03:

  26. 26
    L.C. Mope growls and barks:

    Remember when Whoopie decided what Roman Polanski did to that 14 year old girl wasn’t rape-rape?

    Well, that ain’t no Weiner-weiner!

  27. 27
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    Alan K. Henderson says:

    Am I the only one here who winces at the phrase “Weiner hacker?”

    It do bring back the whole “Bobbit’ thing…..

  28. 28
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    My theory: There have been persistent rumors for years that Wiener is gay.

    So, his coyness and his almost-eagerness to let this story stagger on is just cover.

    There have also been persistent rumors that his Muslim wife, Huma, has been Hillary’s lesbian lover. So, the two of them got “married” last year, and it’s cover for her, and Hillary, too.

    I bet you dollars to donuts theirs is what used to be called a lavender marriage :em02: , like Oprah’s completely unbelievable “relationship” with Stedman Graham, or whatever his name is.

    And Weinergate? he’s tickled pink, if you’ll pardon the expression. Makes him look like a man instead of a mama’s boy.

    Factor that in, and it all becomes clear as day.

  29. 29

    DJ Allyn, ITW says:

    While it is still very likely that his Twitter account was hacked — it was demonstrated live on Rachel Maddow’s show last night how easily it can be done —

    Ok, if it’s no big deal….then why are the propagandist media running around in such tight circles defending this little weiner? Do you really think maddow would go these kinds of lengths to defend any Republican in the same circumstance? My bet would be that she would arrogantly smirk (her SOP) while making insipid jokes all show long (again, her SOP).

    DJ Allyn, ITW says:

    But if you are just someone who has never made a big stink about homosexuals, or “family values” or some other moral issue and you get caught in a compromising position, then that’s just your business, not mine. I don’t care.

    Rules are rules man, standards are standards man….I don’t believe in disclaimers when it comes to personal behavior on behalf of public representatives. Guilty or not guilty, which will it be.

  30. 30
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    DJ Allyn, ITW says:

    If you get caught doing something stupid, own up to it and move on. Don’t piss on me and tell me it is raining. I don’t like being lied to — even about things that aren’t my business. To me, that is more damning than the original act.

    My point exactly. I don’t really give a flying fuck that Tony Salami likes sexting young girls, that’s between him and his family and, supposedly, his constituents. Sure he’s a horny toad, but he can straighten that shit out with his friends and family himself. He hasn’t betrayed me with what he’s doing and I’m not planning on being his bestest buddy anyway.

    What I DO care about is that he’s a lying fuck, and lying fucks need to be as far from government as possible.

    It was the exact same problem I had with Billy Blowjob. I couldn’t care less about his family issues, that’s for Hillary to take care of, but I DO care about a sitting president lying his arse off, committing obstruction of justice as well as committing AND suborning perjury. If he can treat his own BLOOD like that, then imagine what he’d be willing to do to the country in general.

    Insert usual: “If that’s your standard for government officials, then you might as well fire the whole lot of them.”

    To which my answer is: Good idea. Works for me. String a few of them up as well, pour encourager les autres.

  31. 31
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    DJ Allyn, ITW says:

    The “propagandist” media that I watched last night was doing no such thing.

    I’ll agree, I already mentioned it as a matter of fact, that I was floored by C fucking N-N being just about the only channel willing to actually carry the story. But that was only until Wolf “Cleanup in Aisle 12″ Blitzer did his damage control interview the next day and pretty much coached Weeny-Wiener through every single question and answer.

    Granted, it was hard to understand most of what Wolfie said since he was gobbling Wiener’s junk the whole time.

  32. 32

    DJ Allyn, ITW says:

    The “propagandist” media that I watched last night was doing no such thing. For the most part each was pointing out the ridiculous response that Wiener was giving.

    hope you’re not talking about Wolf “blinky” Blitzer and that crew……they were doing backflips talking about how this is such a non-story. Paul Begala’s forehead vein was sticking out more than usual while he defended the weiner with more than his usual over-caffeinated zeal.

    DJ Allyn, ITW says:

    What the heck is that supposed to mean? Just because these are elected officials don’t make them “super heroes”. They put their pants on just like the rest of us.

    and that excludes themselves from following rules and guidelines? how “democrat” of you.

    Emperor Misha I says:

    It was the exact same problem I had with Billy Blowjob. I couldn’t care less about his family issues, that’s for Hillary to take care of, but I DO care about a sitting president lying his arse off, committing obstruction of justice as well as committing AND suborning perjury. If he can treat his own BLOOD like that, then imagine what he’d be willing to do to the country in general.

    so you contradict yourself in that single paragraph man, not caring about his personal behavior but then giving a shit about what he does to his family…. his philandering hurt his family as much as his lying. And I agree with you and that’s the problem I have with assholes like weiner, and yes Gingrich…..if they are willing to roll over their loved ones then what’s to stop them from rolling over on the country.

    DJ Allyn, ITW says:

    It is exactly the reason why the Party of the “Family Values” gets more flak when one of its’ members gets caught fucking around. The Democratic Party doesn’t claim that territory.

    no it’s because democrats only care about winning, rules and law don’t count…..they are immoral

  33. 33
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery says:

    so you contradict yourself in that single paragraph man, not caring about his personal behavior but then giving a shit about what he does to his family…. his philandering hurt his family as much as his lying.

    You’re right about that. I DO care about people’s behavior personally. I should have been more clear. I find his behavior to his family repugnant and would never, ever want to associate myself personally with him. What I didn’t care about was punishing him for getting a blowjob. That’s for G-d and his family to do, not me. Or, to put it another way: I didn’t want him kicked out of office for being unfaithful, that’s none of the gummint’s business. I wanted him kicked out of office for the numerous actual laws he DID break in trying to cover up his own reprehensible behavior.

  34. 34
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    How do you know that the Feds aren’t looking into it?

    You’re misunderstanding my question. I’m not concerned whether or not the feddies are indeed investigating, I want to know why someone wouldn’t make their first priority contacting authorities if they thought someone committed a felonious hacking of their Twitter account, especially a sitting congressman. Weenie did just the opposite and has been offering lame explanations since.

  35. 35
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    Oh look! Weenie does know how to call the authorities…

    on those pesky pressies looking for interviews. :em99:

  36. 36
    LC TerribleTroy growls and barks:

    Gauging the tone of this thread at this point, I get the feeling that some believe that we shouldn’t have a expectation of EXCEPTIONAL behavior and judgement in regards to our elected representatives. Because I’m sorry but I do.

    I do question the ability of a individual to make good judgments when that individual is married and sent a sexually oriented message to a coed half his age. The higher the rank, the greater my expectation. Keep in mind that when these fuckers vote, they impact US ALL. If this was my local councilman, I would want his ass fired. For no other reason than if they are willing to throw their family under the bus, then my needs probably don’t even hit the radar in their world. And I am forced to assume that my needs would see the underside of a bus at the drop of a hat.

    We have a supposedly mature, intelligent man, relatively high profile and he is DUMB enough to engage in this behavior to begin with…..OH YEAH… thats the guy I want representing me! NOT! As (obviously) he is TOO FUCKING STUPID. I mean really, sending a picture of your skivvie clad junk to a coed half your age?? How fucking JUVENILE can you get? And then to have the nerve to play this denial game, like we’re all idiots, just reinforces the fact that this guy is a dishonorable fuck and should not be making decisions for anyone.

    Being the RWE that I am, I believe that if a elected official gets caught, lying, criminal behavior, etc. That the individual has committed a act of treason (betrayed us all) and the penalty for treason is death (fuck country club prison time).

    We don’t ask these assholes to do these jobs, these assholes come to us and ask us to give them OUR VOICE, while telling us what great, smart, people they are. We believe them and send them out, AND THEY GET RICH. I just don’t think holding these people to higher standards than say….Carlos the Rag Man is unreasonable.

  37. 37

    Emperor Misha I says:

    You’re right about that. I DO care about people’s behavior personally. I should have been more clear. I find his behavior to his family repugnant and would never, ever want to associate myself personally with him. What I didn’t care about was punishing him for getting a blowjob. That’s for G-d and his family to do, not me. Or, to put it another way: I didn’t want him kicked out of office for being unfaithful, that’s none of the gummint’s business. I wanted him kicked out of office for the numerous actual laws he DID break in trying to cover up his own reprehensible behavior.

    Oh crap, that’s what I get for debating here while at school…..didn’t pay attention to whose post I was cutting and pasting from. Thought I was still debating Deej.….

    Does that mean that I lose my weekly ration of Poutine MRE’s????

  38. 38
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    Response to LC TerribleTroy #42@:

    Amen and hallelujah!

  39. 39
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    DJ Allyn, ITW says:

    And Gladiator? You are a child.

    Poor Leftwing loon. It must suck being wrong all the time.

  40. 40
    Grammar Czar growls and barks:

    LC Gunsniper says:

    I want to know why someone wouldn’t make their first priority contacting authorities if they thought someone committed a felonious hacking of their Twitter account, especially a sitting congressman.

    When I found out that my credit card number had been used at ITunes, I didn’t “lawyer up.” I cancelled the card, called Apple to protest the charges, and then filed a police report. Granted, there was nothing the locals police could do, but at least I made a record of it.

  41. 41
    Elephant Man growls and barks:

    If you get caught doing something stupid, own up to it and move on. Don’t piss on me and tell me it is raining. I don’t like being lied to — even about things that aren’t my business. To me, that is more damning than the original act.

    It’s amazing that more politicians don’t take that advice to heart.

    For example:

    Nixon: His downfall was the coverup following the Watergate break in, not the break in itself. If he had just came out and said something to the effect of “some of my staff crossed the line and broke the law in their overzealous attempt to get me re-elected” he would have served out his second term.

    Reagan: The democrats thought they had him nailed with “Iran-Contra” until he went on national television, laid out what happened and as Commander in Chief took full responsibility. It knocked the wind right out of the democrats and some are still seething to this day.

    Clinton: If he had just come out and said he had a “moment of weakness” with the “human humidor” instead of lying to the American public and lying under oath in a court of law, he would have been the butt of jokes for a few weeks and that’s it.

    I think the problem is that politicians on both sides of the aisle forget that they serve their constituents and are not some part of a royal hierarchy.

    Being elected President or to the House or Senate does not make you a king, queen, duke, duchess, etc.